Torch Wars

The Brothers (Entry 0-0-2)

Mushroom Kingdom

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-Memories.-

-Memories, memories, memories, it all goes back to memories-why don't ya think of something else tonight?-

-Good memories. Bad memories. Memories relating to turtles.-

-Yes, yes, turtles. Old news, aren't they? How about we think of weather, or Deja vu, or shoes, or Deja vu, or the newest pizzerias, or Deja...-

-Koopas.-

This is what Mario the plumber was thinking of one particular night. Luigi was snoring loudly, again, so Mario stayed up and poured himself a cup of water. He thought to himself, and answered his own questions.

-Why do I have to deal with koopas?-

-Maybe I should jump on their shells less. Stomping a man's face in is usually annoying.-

-But what about Bowser?-

-His shell has spikes, idiot.-

-Then I'll jump on his head instead.-

-He has horns. And does he really deserve pain? He kidnaps somebody, and you drop him into lava. Koopas are people too.-

-He turned toads temporarily into inanimate objects!-

-Turn him temporarily into an inanimate object, then. Peach's castle really needs a gargoyle.-

Mario went back to his room. Mario and Luigi share the same room, in the same house, so Luigi was sleeping in the room.

-Why does Luigi be unnoticed?-

-Whaddaya mean?-

-Why is Luigi the less popular one?-

-Maybe it's because you started rescuing people before him.-

-Or maybe it's because of another reason.-

Mario looked into the room. Luigi was sleeping in a wooden bead with a light green blanket and pillow. Next to the bed was a slightly smaller duplicate, with red instead of green.

-You know what?-

-What, you should eat less?-

-Huh? No! Maybe we should let Luigi have the spotlight for a while.-

-I agree with that. But I suggest less pasta, more salads...maybe a vegetable smoothie every so often...-

-Oh, shut up, already. I haven't had to deal with this much annoyingness since the monkey.-

-You go-cart with the 'monkey'.-

Mario went downstairs. He sat in the armchair he had for himself. Out the nearby window, he originally planted a garden of fire and ice flowers on his lawn. At this point, he used up half of them in the next twenty years, and filled them with bean plants.

-Maybe Luigi could handle things for you.-

-You really think...-

-Oh I really think. Let's give the guy a test.-

-What do you have in mind?-

-Go on vacation without Luigi. The next time Bowser decides to smash his big ugly fist through the castle walls, Luigi proves he's awesome, and saves the day.-

-Is there a catch?-

-One. I think Luigi is already fit to do this stuff, because, you know, he does it all the time. This test is for when you aren't around to be the main man. Luigi has almost never had the spotlight.-

-Then he'll have the spotlight.-

Mario exhaled the water he was drinking when thinking this. -What?-

-I said he...-

-Yes, yes, I know what you said. I'm just wondering why you didn't get all stuck-up and vain, like, "Oh please, I'm the popular one".-

-I am the popular one. Let Luigi be popular for once.-

-You hate being popular?-

Mario remembered, and therefore realized. -After the 22,561st fan letter, you never want to see another piece of mail again. Ever.-

-Then on with the test.-

-Hear, hear.-

-Alright.-

-Let's do this.-

-Bring the brimstone, fire, and winged mushrooms, cause I'm ready.-

-Oh yes.-

-Oh yeah.-

-Uh huh.-

-Yup.-

-...-

-...-

-...go to bed, already. It's nearly midnight, and everyone needs their sleep.-

-aye aye, sir.-

Mario put his water glass in the sink, washed it thoroughly, then put it where he found it. He went back up the stairs. He looked into the room; Luigi was still sleeping, and snoring tenfold.

Mario sat in his own bed. "Tomorrow, you'll be the famous one. I've had enough of the fans and the lava pits and whatnot, and you need your time."

He went to sleep.