A/N: This chapter was just supposed to be about the train ride to see her mother and it turned into a massive flashback. So, it's double the length I originally intended, but I think it's pretty good. Next chapter will start in the middle of the flashback and then take us back to the train. I have a rough outline, but now I know what writers mean when they say "the story takes them somewhere."

I'm new at this so PLEASE leave comments. What do you like? What can I improve on?

I am going to look for a beta reader soon. I read them several times before I upload them, but I simply can't catch everything.

Prim refused the offer to go to District 4 on the hovercraft. She had never seen any other part of Panem so she wanted to take the train. She packed what few belongings she had and boarded the mechanism that had twice carried her sister to uncertain doom. Katniss wasn't dead, but she was lost forever to Prim. She briefly wondered if Katniss felt the same when she boarded the train. Certainly not because Prim was headed to specialize in a field of study that could benefit the world whereas Katniss what headed to a field that only ended in death for 23 other people. Prim shook her head. Stay positive.

She made very few close friends in District 13 in the four years she spent there. Anyone who met Prim loved her because she was kind and gentle hearted. But, the war's conclusion had left her isolated from those she loved most. So, when Katniss was sent back to 12 and her mom moved to 4, Prim threw herself into work and school. She learned anything and everything she could from anyone who would teach her and her close friends were very like-minded. They were sad to see her go, but very excited for her new opportunities. Prim was excited. She needed to quit comparing her experience with her sisters' and remain positive if she was going to accomplish anything.

She boarded the train car and looked around. She hadn't seen anything so luxurious since she left the Victor's Village when 12 was under attack during the Quell. It was too much, especially after living in the sterile tunnels for 13 for three years. The deep purple and blues of the chairs and sofas clashed with the garish reds and yellows of the drapes and pillows. There was a large dining table in the center of the car loaded with food. She remembered Katniss describing the food and reminiscing about it with Peeta. She was able to try some of their favorites like hot chocolate and lamb stew with plums when they special ordered them from the Capital. Prim really enjoyed the hot chocolate and accidently learned that it was really good if you dropped your peppermint stick in and let it melt.

She dropped her small satchel on a puffy, purple chair and headed towards the table. Sure enough, there was a carafe of hot chocolate and she poured herself a mug. She decided to do what she remembered Katniss and Peeta talking about; just trying a bit of everything. By the time the train pulled away, Prim had seated herself, filled her plate, and began nibbling at the different fares. Many people would have thought the scene odd had they entered a train in District 13 going to District 4. No one would expect such nice accommodations just for a trip to another district for school. But Prim knew better. Living through the past four years had taught Prim that Panem was gilded. And, when the shiny layer was worn away a new shiny layer replaced it; but it never increased the value. The food was good, but she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The sound of the compartment door was that other shoe. Prim looked up but didn't smile. She knew who it would be and she decided to just enjoy the food. She looked back down at her plate and continued to try different things. The table was filled with things she'd like…like someone knew. He did know. More gilding.

"What? No hello for an old friend?" Gale asked.

"I'd hug an old friend. You're my parole officer," Prim responded.

"Prim…" he started.

"It's Rose, now, remember? You're the one who told me that if I wanted to leave and allow Katniss to have her life, I couldn't be Prim anymore." Prim had practiced this speech many times in her head. She was happy she kept all emotion out. Her goal was to be as stoic as possible; to demonstrate as much apathy as possible. It was difficult. She was still too hurt and too angry.

Gale sighed. She had not forgotten their last encounter two years ago. And she still hadn't let him explain. His mind had replayed the memory many, many times; some to reevaluate it, but mostly to relive it for the good parts of the memory.

When Haymitch returned to 12 to look after-or be looked after by-Peeta and Katniss, Prim became Gale's designated responsibility. His position in the new regime gave him an opportunity to execute this last control over Katniss. He thought that if he took care of it, then he could make sure nothing else harmed any of them; especially Prim. When he let Katniss go by allowing her to believe that it was his bombs that killed Prim, the part of him that loved Katniss knew that he could continue honor her by taking care of the one person Katniss would continue to give her life for. Well, he didn't want to think about her willingness to save Peeta, anyway.

He read the reports detailing Prim's excellent work in her studies and in her practicums. Her organizational skills were impeccable and she was actually put in charge redesigning the facilities in 13 now so that they could receive supplies and patients from other districts. His position took him to 13 a few times a year and he knew that he had to explain to Prim the conditions of her new situation. It was about two years after the war and Gale was very interested to see how Prim had…grown. His memory always started when he snuck up behind her and covered her eyes and she was truly surprised when she answered his "Guess who!"

When Prim turned around, she smiled up at him with that charming and disarming look she could give that could soften long hardened hearts. She was lovely. Gale could see the roundness of her face had gone, but so had some of the warmth. She was the light version of Katniss in every way. Now that she was older, and he was a little smarter, he wondered how he could have missed this.

"Gale! It's been so long!" She turned around and put her arms around him in a tight hug.

Gale could smell her and the mix of lavender and something uniquely Prim made his head swim a bit. What are you doing? This is Katniss' sister! That's like your sister! He held her a little longer than he needed to. He pulled away and looked her up and down—the way a brother should he hoped—and smiled back at her.

"You look good. I've been checking up on you. You've been doing good things, too," Gale said.

Prim noticed how the hug lingered and it gave her butterflies in her stomach. She had always thought Gale was handsome, but his heart belonged to Katniss. She hoped that Gale had come to terms with Katniss and Peeta because he didn't do so well with that during the Games.

"Thank you," she replied, "I've been working hard and trying to keep my mind focused."

"It's weird being back in this place. I mean, I come to District 13 periodically for work, but I haven't really been back to the caves," Gale said.

"You haven't seen your mother in all the time you've been gone?" Prim asked, shocked. She wasn't really sure why she was so shocked, she hadn't seen her own mother since she left for District 4, but she writes often. She didn't spend too much time with the Hawthornes because it reminded her too much of what she lost, but she'd visit periodically or eat meals with them when they schedules were aligned.

"I saw her about five minutes ago and we're both having dinner with her. I worked out the schedules." Prim looked at the schedule tattooed on her arm and realized the reason that her dinner time was different than normal. And she had free time all afternoon and evening. Gale had power to do that?

"Come. Show me all the changes to this place and then show me something familiar. I haven't seen anyone familiar in so long and I want to just be myself," Gale said.

Prim actually knew what he meant when he said that. It wasn't so much that she wasn't herself most of the time, but there were many times when she didn't let people see the different sides of her or the different thoughts that she had. She couldn't be so honest anymore because people were always watching. Prim called it growing up. The older she got the better she understood Katniss and how she guarded her thoughts and feelings. Katniss was forced to grow up after the death of her father and that sacrifice allowed Prim to remain a child, until the first Games. So, Prim agreed that it would be nice to spend the day with Gale letting her guard down a little bit.

"So you're the one that got my schedule cleared today?" she smirked.

"Yes. My position has me making rounds to different districts inquiring about innovations being made and that are still needed. I have authority to request time for interviews with anyone on a lower clearance level than myself," Gale replied.

"Are you to interview me?" Prim peeked up through her eyelashes. Am I flirting? Stop it. Then she wondered why she had to stop. Katniss was with Peeta now and Gale could see or be involved with whomever he chose.

"Actually, yes. You spoke to Haymitch a few years ago about the conditions of your sister's release to District 12. Since his return there, I have been appointed your, um, mentor for a lack of a better term, for this arrangement," Gale explained.

Prim frowned, "Oh. That's not inducing me to let my guard down."

"Hey," Gale's was tone reassuring, "I asked for the job. This way I have an excuse to keep tabs on you, to come and spend the day or days with you. I miss you, Prim. I miss my family. This appointment allows me to come and be me. All of me."

Prim decided that if she was going to be put on parole by the new Capital, it was best that Gale be the one to looking out for her.

"Let's go stroll down memory tunnel, then," she smiled, grabbed his hand, and led the way.

They had a great time haunting the tunnels of District 13 with Prim describing all the changes now that most of the population could move above ground and how the tunnels were being converted into different things. She described her new duties and all the things she learned as well as all the things she was able to teach about herbs and different plants and cures that people outside of 12 didn't know. They went to see their old quarters, the deep levels where they stayed during the District 13 raid, and then to the old resistance offices and conference rooms.

So much of Gale's position was classified but he described what he could. What he was able to convey was his excitement for his work and the happiness he felt at building a new Panem, free of the Hunger Games. Prim liked this new Gale; he seemed optimistic. She had never considered an optimistic Gale and it seemed to erase the hard shadows on his face. She liked the way his eyes lingered on her and the way she felt when their hands brushed together occasionally while they walked. A few times Gale took her arm and they strolled together like an old couple. Dinner with Hazelle was happy and fun filled with laughter and memories. Even talking about Katniss and Peeta brought happy reminders and the darkness that often clouded Gale's face when Peeta's name was mentioned, especially in connection with Katniss, seemed lighter.

Gale could not ignore the changes in Prim, either. He noticed the blushes when his gaze lingered too long on her face, her longer hair, her hips, and her chest. There must be something in the Everdeen blood that calls to him because the feelings that he had thought were gone forever when Katniss walked away from him were returning with her sister. After dinner they walked to the old laboratory where Gale worked with Beetee so Gale could collect anything he thought would still be useful and necessary or that should be archived.

As they entered the room the both reached for the light switch and their hands touched. Gale's hand was comfortingly warm on hers and she didn't pull away. Gale flipped the switch, and then pulled her into an embrace. Prim sighed at the relief and comfort this small gesture provided her. She had been without close friends and family for two years. She was friendly with people, but she missed human contact. Even her cat, Buttercup, was gone. Her arms wound around his waist and she hugged him tightly to herself. When he felt her tight embrace Gale looked down at her and in the light of the harsh florescent lights he could see the flush in her cheeks, the relief on her face, and a tear in her eye.

"Hey," Gale whispered, "what's wrong?" Prim looked at the floor. Gale placed his finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to his.

"I'm so lonely," Prim said. "Everyone I love has left or been taken from me."

Gale hugged her closer. "I know how you feel. I haven't been this close to someone in a very long time. I won't lie, Prim. You've grown up and I like what I see. I've always loved you as a sister…but…" he trailed off.

Prim didn't know what to say. Gale was in love with Katniss. She knew that. She watched both Games with him and saw him flinch, cringe, and get angry at every touch, tender moment, and kiss that Katniss and Peeta shared. But that was over two years ago. Katniss chose Peeta and they were living together in District 12. Could Gale's feelings for Katniss really transfer to her? Or, was Gale just using Prim as a Katniss proxy? She could see what was coming and it both frightened and excited her. Gale slowly raised his hand and placed it on the back of her neck and she turned her face to his. She was going to let him kiss her because she wanted to feel loved and wanted. She knew Gale loved her; she wondered if this would redefine that love.

Gale placed his lips lightly on hers, testing how it felt. She was warm and she didn't hesitate or pull away. In fact, he felt her respond in kind. When she began to kiss him back he was emboldened so he parted his lips and breathed in more of her sweet scent. He slid his other hand around her waist as she wound her hands up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her. When he felt her lips part he deepened the kiss and moved her backwards up against one of the lab tables. He lifted her up and set her atop the table so their eyes—and lips—were level.

Prim felt dizzy. She had never kissed anyone before and the feelings he was stirring up were new and fascinating. She forgot for a moment that this was Gale. Gale: her family's protector and provider. Gale: the man in love with her sister. Gale who was kissing her like he was as starved for affection as she was. She could give this to him and she could be sated at the same time. She kissed him back and followed his lead. When she felt his tongue touch hers she gasped a little and did a little probing of her own. Her hands ran down his shoulders and back could feel the strength coiled in his lean muscles.

Gale reveled in Prim's reciprocity. The feel of her hands on his body stirred deeply in him. His hands traveled from her face, stroking her jaw, tilting her head so his lips had access to her throat. His hands then found their way down to her hips when his lips found hers again. Prim seemed to follow his lead and that was not something he was used to with an Everdeen. It excited him and interested him. This give and take seemed to go on for an endless amount of time as Gale varied between light, soft kisses and long, deep kisses and Prim kept up with the pace.

Gale softly bit her swollen, bottom lip and then traced his nose from under her ear to her collarbone. He left featherlike kisses there as his hands searched for the bare skin through the untucked back of her shirt just above the waistband of her trousers. Gale was lost in the physical sensations of being so close to Prim; to someone. Katniss only kissed him when he was in pain and even then it was short lived and desperate. Prim was soft and sweet and responsive. She sighed and moved with him; she learned from him and let him have control. That was both encouraging and satisfying as he learned by her sighs and gasps what pleased her most. When his hands found her skin he felt her inhale sharply and she seemed to press into his touch. Gale noticed that she had opened her legs enough for their bodies to make as much contact as possible. Gale's excitement continued to grow. This was different from the other brief physical encounters he had in the past with girls who just found him handsome. Blowing off steam and being involved with a person whom you loved were two different things.

Prim loved the feel of his hands on her bare skin, but when his hands began to move upwards she came back to herself. Oh, she liked his hands on her, but this was going somewhere very quickly. Am I ready for this? Gale's hands started at her hips and moved around to the back. She arched her back, opened her mouth, and inhaled deeply. With Gale's lips on her throat, her gasp hadn't interrupted anything. Their breathing was ragged and she fought the urge to wrap her legs around his waist. She felt his thumbs rub just below her bra and she opened her eyes. She wasn't ready to go much further. She was only 16 and it occurred to her that Gale, at 21, might just expect more than what she was ready to do. This was her first experience with a boy, well man, ever. When his thumb grazed her breast she pulled back.

"Gale," she breathed, "Gale!" But he didn't stop. His other hand cupped her breast and Prim fully returned to herself. She tried to push him away, but she could see that his eyes were a bit clouded.

"Gale. Stop, I can't do this," Prim pleaded.

Gale finally heard her. Prim was telling him to stop. Goddammit! Why do these Everdeen women never give him what he needs? His breathing was heavy and he was trying to come to grips with what was going on. He looked at her face and realized that Prim was still so young. She looked scared and realized where his hands had strayed.

He moved his hands quickly and his heavy breathing made it difficult for him to express his thoughts.

"I'm sorry…Katniss…" he started.

Prim froze. He called her Katniss. He was just using her as a proxy! Hurt and rage replaced the desire and pleasure that had been there just a few seconds before. She pushed him away and hopped off the table.

"I'm Prim. Not Katniss." Then she ran out of the room. Good things are always followed by a price and that price was usually pain.

Gale was stunned. He wasn't calling her Katniss, he was going to explain to her that Katniss had never let him show her how he felt. He was going to tell her that Katniss had nothing on her where he was concerned. And now she was gone. And he hadn't even explained the terms of the educational agreement yet.

"You really messed this up, Hawthorne," he said to himself.