A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story and has gotten this far. I trust you are well entertained. Read/review/enjoy!

The Kidnapping of Damon Salvatore

Here I stand, directly in front of the Salvatore boarding house, vervain in hand. Well, not exactly in hand, more like in my messenger bag; same difference.

I'm nearly 99.9% sure that he knew I was outside, having heard my heartbeat.

How can one hear a heartbeat all the way from inside? Well, it's not by being human, let me tell you.

Damon Salvatore is a vampire. A very, very attractive vampire. A very, very attractive vampire that I was going to kidnap.

How do you kidnap a strong, powerful vampire? Well, that's where the vervain comes into play.

You see, vervain is an herb that weakens vampires, and by injecting some into Damon's system, it'll put him to sleep long enough for me to get him where I want him.

I took a deep, calming breath to get rid of any leftover nerves, and started for the large door.

I knocked three times and waited.

Nope, nothing.

So, this time, I knocked harder and waited.

Still, nothing.

I worried that if he thought I knew who he was, he wouldn't let me come inside, so I decided to play the damsel in distress.

"Hello? Is anyone home? I really need to use a phone. Please," I used my most needy voice, all the while rolling my eyes.

The next thing I knew, the door was open enough to see the sexiest face in the history of the universe.

"Can I help you?" His voice sounded like heaven and hell together; how the hell does that happen?

"Actually, yes. Would you mind if I used your phone? My friend and I were hanging out in the woods, and she said she'd be right back, but it's been, like, an hour. And my cell is dead. Your house is the first I saw." My voice sounded rushed and panicked.

I swear to Katherine, I thought I saw a flash of pity in his eyes.

OMK! Damon Salvatore, the Sexiest Beast I Know, almost pities me.

He stepped aside, a silent invitation, to let me in.

I did a little fan-girl scream inside of my mind and walked inside, purposely tripping over my own feet just so he would catch me, which he did. That's right, I pulled a Bella Swan.

Le sigh. He's touching me. I thought to myself.

All too soon, I was standing tall again, and he fixed me with 'The Look.'

You know the 'I'm Onto You' look.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm clumsier today than most. So, um, where's your phone?"

He still stared at me with that look, but turned around and headed to what I assumed was the parlor and said, "Right this way. Come on."

He didn't have to tell me twice.

Along the way, I stared at his ass.

Could an ass be perfect? I stared at it more intensely. …Yeah, I think it can. His is.

I heard a cough coming from in front of me and looked up.

Damon was staring at me, his hypnotizing eyes glittering with amusement, his irresistible smirk set in place.

Apparently, I'd been caught ogling his ass. Eh, it was well worth it.

He pointed to my left. "Phone's right there. I'll be back in just a moment. I need to speak with my brother."

I nodded dumbly as he walked away.

Stefan is here, too? I pinched myself.

"Ow," I whined, rubbing the area on my forearm that I'd pinched.

Realizing that this was my chance, I reached inside of my messenger bag and grabbed a vervain dart and started in the opposite direction Damon had gone.

I'd only taken a few steps before bumping into a very solid figure. Looking up, I saw that it was Stefan Salvatore.

Being the psychotic idiot I am, I smiled widely and reached out with my free hand, and poked him square in the chest.

He looked torn between confusion and amusement.

"May I help you? I'm sorry, I'm Stefan. And you are?"

I shushed him and put my index finger to his lips.

"I'm going to kidnap Damon, ergo giving you and Elena time to yourselves, 'kay?"

His eyes widened. "What? Who are you? What do you want with Damon? How do you know about Elena? Where—."

He was cut off as I stabbed him in the gut with the vervain dart I'd been holding.

"Damon is right. Animal blood does make you really weak." I laughed as he fell to the floor.

One Salvatore down, one to go.

Just as I went to reach in my bag, I felt the infamous 'swish!' of air, alerting me that Damon was in the room.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ugh! He sounds even hotter when he's angry.

It was my turn to smirk. "Oh, this? It's just my way of giving Elena and Stefan some alone time without you around. Good plan, right?"

His face contorted; his fangs bared, veins protruding under his eyes.

I groaned. This was not helping me concentrate on the plan.

Suddenly I was pressed against the wall, his hand around my neck.

"Damon, you aren't making this any easier for me."

His response was a growl.

"Okay, now I know you're just doing this on purpose. The fangs, the growling, ugh! You know, sometimes I really hate my raging teenage hormones."

All the while I was talking; I had reached into my bag and grabbed two vervain darts, and before he knew what was happening, I had stabbed him on both sides of his body.

His grip on my neck loosened, and he slumped forward onto me.

The last thing he did before succumbing to rest was mumble 'you crazy bitch'.

"Eh, I've been called worse. Now, come on, Mr. Salvatore, I believe we need to get going," I said as I reached under his arms and began dragging him out of the house.

A/N: Yeah so we're a little crazy. Don't judge or I'll hit you with my frying pan! Lol.