April, 0033
When Battler opened his eyes, he was still in the desert. Indeed, the sun's rays were still beating down on him as he forced himself to rise from the sand. He looked around. The inn was gone. So was the stable. Actually, he appeared to be somewhere completely different. No one was around, but he knew Beatrice was there with him, somewhere, unseen.
"Where are we this time?" he muttered.
He saw footprints in the sand – footprints that stopped where he was standing. He concluded that he must have walked this way in the world of the gameboard and did not possess memories of doing such, so he decided it best to retrace his footsteps. For a while, there wasn't a sign of anything, until he soon came across another traveller. The man had a beard – Battler recognized him immediately.
"What's going on with that guy?" Battler wondered.
"Don't you even know the story of Lent," Beatrice sighed. "The story of when Jesus walked into the desert and stayed there for over a month?"
"Wait, that guy's Jesus?!" Battler stared at the guy. "Wasn't he a baby just a minute ago?!"
"No. He was a baby thirty-three years ago."
"Oh, huh. So, you've taken me to his adulthood years? Wouldn't it make sense to show me earlier stages of his life too?"
"That's boring! It's far more entertaining to dump you into his adult years. And you will soon see why."
Battler knew he wasn't going to enjoy what the witch had in store for him, but he decided to play along, if only out of curiosity. He approached the bearded man she named Jesus and asked him just what he was doing out here.
"My boy," said Jesus. "I am walking in the desert for forty days with no food and water to make up for the sins of my people. Why do you ask?"
"F-Forty days?!" shouted Battler.
"Yes," said Jesus.
"But that's… impossible! How could you be alive without taking any food or water for so long?!"
"How I have survived as long as I have is knowledge possessed not by me or anyone else of this world."
"He's telling you the truth," said Beatrice from the shadows of the Meta World.
"All of it?!"
"The whole truth. Nothing but the truth!"
"Well, fine! Maybe it's possible! Maybe he just has had tonnes of fat built up in his stomach which provided for him for the entire forty days! Therefore, you can't claim that a human can't go forty days without food or water. It's a Devil's Proof!"
Beatrice shook her head and closed her eyes. "I have no quarrel with you over this. The fun has yet to begin."
Battler decided to walk with Jesus.
"So, what're you walking through the desert like this for anyway? Is it punishment or something?"
"No, no, I'm the son of God. I don't do bad things," Jesus laughed. "It's just that, well, you see, the people of my kingdom are real shitheads, you know what I'm saying? They keep swearing and having premarital sex and beating each other up… sickening, really."
"I dunno man, I can get behind some of that," said Battler.
"Hm. Well. I respect your opinion. But that does not mean we mustn't atone for our sins. So, because of that, I have chosen to walk in the desert with no form of nourishment for forty days and forty nights."
"Damn, man, your village must have some bad fuckin' people, huh."
"Hoh hoh hoh. You have no idea."
Battler brought a cup of tea to his mouth, hesitating. Would drinking while on pilgrimage with Jesus ruin his pilgrimage?
Wait, what am I taking this seriously for?!
"I can't listen to this guy!"
"Whyever not? Are you unwilling to accept testimony from the pieces themselves?" said Beatrice.
"I can't trust anyone after our last few games!" shouted Battler. "You made all those locked room murders purely through everyone lying, I claim the same here!"
"So you want another confirmation that he is telling you the truth, is that it?"
"Yes! Confirm it now!"
"Very well, regarding what that man has told you, he has not lied. He is, as he says, the son of God and has chosen to walk through the desert for forty days with no food or water. He will not lie to you for the duration of the gameboard."
Battler sweated. Maybe it'd be best to just stop talking to this Jesus guy before he says anything detrimental to the Human Side, now that his word has effectively been made equivalent to the red truth.
They walked without speaking to each other for a while. By now, Battler's throat had run dry. How could Jesus have lasted so long out here if he could barely last an hour? It was Jesus who broke the silence.
"We shall be nearing my home shortly. If you are thirsty, my village offers water. Ice cold water that will be sure to refresh you in one sip."
Battler nodded, and was pleased to see he meant "shortly" quite literally, for as soon as they reached the top of a slope they had been scaling, a little village came into view on the other side!
Jesus led Battler into the village, and the villagers delightedly came to witness his return. Leaves were laid out in front of them, which Battler assumed to be praise for the man.
"You're pretty famous, huh?"
"That is correct. Come, Battler, let us head to my father's house and thank him for his support of my journey."
"Uh… sure."
Battler and Jesus walked toward a castle in the middle of town. Battler wasn't so sure how much support this dad of his could have offered, but he was a man who liked castles. Especially here in the desert, where it could be used to take shelter from this accursed sun.
They walked through the gates of the castle, and Jesus' previously peaceful expression quickly contorted into that of fury. There in the halls of the castle were stores! Shops! Merchants!
Battler did not notice this change of expression, for he had immediately ran toward the stand selling water. He gulped down a vase of it while the storekeeper angrily prodded his shoulder, expecting to be paid.
"You… fools…" muttered Jesus. Although he hadn't thought his words to echo too loudly, the bustling of the newfound market came to a stop as everyone turned towards him.
"Hey, it's Jesus!" someone said.
"Beat it! This castle is ours now!"
"We thought you were dead."
"Nah. That was just the king."
Everyone burst into laughter. Battler looked around confused, but Jesus' expression remained unchanged.
"Ignorant men… if you dare defy the lord like this…"
Jesus lunged forward toward one of the stalls, placed his hands under it, and picked it up! He turned around to face the crowds, the wooden stall held high over his head.
"…you shall all regret you were ever born!"
The stall flew into the crowd, blasting into splinters on those unlucky few who were in the line of fire. Everyone ran away, but Jesus pursued! He grabbed one of the merchants who had so thoughtlessly set up a shop in this holy temple and threw him at a group of young men trying to sneak past him.
He pounced on more victims. Battler was still looking around confused, but decided he'd seen enough to understand what was going on. He turned. He ran! Before he could escape, though, he tripped and fell on the floor. He quickly covered his head in his hands and shut his eyes, unable to watch what was unfolding in this temple!
As he did this, Jesus had been approached by more experienced fighters, but had beaten them down effortlessly. A punch to the gut, a kick to the face, they all went down clutching whatever hit them.
Jesus then turned his attention to those who still had not escaped, still trying to squeeze through the door frame.
"You cannot escape your fate, young sinners! Face the wrath of Christ!"
He threw his open hand forward, and a light beam shot out of it. His victims were impaled as the red light burned a hole through their backs. There was no escaping from Jesus' powers!
Jesus cackled. This was proving to be a far more efficient way of dealing with those sinners than wandering in the desert for a month. Laser beams fired left and right, incinerating anyone it made contact with.
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" shouted Battler, trying to suppress his tears. "THIS GUY'S BEEN IN THE DESERT FOR FORTY DAYS! HOW IS HE THROWING THESE STALLS AROUND LIKE THEY'RE HIS DOLLS?! AND WHAT'S WITH THESE LIGHTS?! WHAT IS HAPPENIIIIING?!"
"Open your eyes, Battler! Open your eyes and you'll see the truth! Look, look! It's magic, it's a magical light show, come ooooon Battleeeer open your eeeyyyyeeees!" Beatrice smiled as she watched the massacre before her.
"This isn't happening! I haven't gotten a good look at who's doing this, maybe it's someone else!"
"It's Jesus! Jesus is the one throwing those stalls around!"
"Dammit, no, I can't watch this, this is not happening it is NOOOOOOT!"
"The longer you close your eyes and refuse to watch the longer this will go on you knooooow!"
"This is a lie! It's all lies! Beato, I've changed my mind, take me back to Rokkenjima!"
Battler burst into tears and cried. Maybe he could deny the lights, but Jesus' strength had been confirmed with the red! He'd even seen those stalls flying around himself! What was there to argue with?
The massacre came to a swift end when a guard hit Jesus on the head from behind.
"That's enough out of you," said the guard. More guards came and apprehended Jesus and took him away.
"Damn," said Battler, uncovering his eyes and standing up. "That was a mess."
April, 0033 – Days later
A few days passed. Eventually, it had been announced that Jesus had been executed.
"He was sentenced to die on the cross. That is all," said a guard when Battler enquired.
So we've finally reached our first death, huh? Battler thought.
"Not quite," said Beatrice, as if reading his mind. "The shepherds and wise men are dead, but they were old, and thirty years have since passed. So…"
"Whatever, you know the drill by now," said Battler. "Confirm Jesus' death in red."
"Very well. Jesus is dead. His body has been placed in a tomb, blocked by a giant rock."
Battler expected something to happen, for him to have to solve his death or something. But Beatrice said no more. Instead, she sent him back to the world of the gameboard with no further instructions. He shrugged, and figured he might as well find some accommodation and wait for something to happen.
April, 0033 – Three days later
Battler sat back in a slightly uncomfortable chair, surrounded by his twelve roommates. These new friends of his all knew Jesus quite well, so they were willing to take another friend of his in with them. It had been an uneventful few days, and Battler wondered just when the witch would strike next. Would she even? Perhaps something had happened in the outside world, but he hadn't stepped outside since the death of Jesus had been announced.
"So—"
Battler wasn't sure who spoke, but as soon as that word had been spoken, he had been cut off. The door had swung open! Battler stood up. This was the first guest they had had in three days, who could possibly have come to see them?
"Who are…" Battler quickly trailed off as soon as he saw who it was who arrived.
"Jesus?!" shouted his roommates.
"Hello, my apostles. And, ah, you," Jesus smiled towards Battler, but Battler did not return the gesture.
"Who are you?!" shouted Battler.
"Isn't it obvious, my child? I'm Jesus Christ."
"No you're not! You can't be!"
"Why do you say that, my child?"
"For one thing, Jesus is dead! He died three days ago!"
"I was dead, that is true, but my time in heaven was limited, it seems, for here I am now!" Jesus laughed. The twelve apostles surrounded him, pleased to see him again, but Battler stood there, unable to believe his eyes.
"Beato!" he shouted.
"Behold, Battler," Beatrice grinned, "the magic of resurrection!"
"Dumbass! This isn't Jesus! It can't be!"
"Ahahahaha! Whyever noooot?"
"Like I said, Jesus is died! You even confirmed his death in red! This guy's just pretending to be Jesus!"
Battler ran out the door and ran to where he had been told the tomb was. When he got there, the first thing that caught his attention was the massive rock in front of the entrance. Next to it were two men. They were unconscious. He ran up to them and shook them awake.
"What happened?!"
"I-I don't remember…" they both stammered.
Battler turned to the rock. He tried pushing it out of the way to get into the tomb, but it was too heavy. Deciding there was no way to get inside, he settled with just peering in. It was dark, but there was clearly no body inside. He gave up and returned to his lodging. Jesus was still speaking with his apostles, but he looked up and smiled at Battler.
"Have you investigated sufficiently?" asked one of the apostles.
"No! Damn you, there's got to be a trick here!" Battler stammered, but as expected, he could come up with no explanation.
"Oh, Battler," Beatrice shook her head. "Just what will it take for you to have even a little bit of faith?"
"Shut uuup! It's obvious what's going on here! A little while ago, an unknown Culprit X came to the tomb and knocked out the guards using Drug X. He then pushed the rock out of the way with either sheer strength or, if necessary, an unknown Contraption X. He then took Jesus' body away, took off his clothes, and put them on himself. Therefore, this can be explained away with an Imposter X."
"The man before you is Jesus Christ!"
"Wait, that's it!" said Battler. "What we see here is Jesus' body! He's being held up with strings, like a puppet!"
"The man before you, Jesus Christ, is alive!" Beatrice responded. "There are also no string tricks involved in this story!"
"Then… maybe he's a different Jesus! A different one to the Jesus who died!"
Golden butterflies flew at Battler's face. From where, he did not see, but they kept coming and coming until he had been knocked onto the floor.
"Fool!" said Beatrice. "Jesus Christ, son of Mary, was dead! Jesus Christ is now alive again! Jesus Christ is, in fact, the man who just walked into that room to greet you and the apostles! He is very much alive and well! He was brought back to life by the efforts of none other than his father, and he moved that stone out of the way with his own human hands! In short, the Jesus who died three days ago and the Jesus who stands here now are one and the same!"
The sheer intensity of Beatrice's red shattered all of Battler's ideas. The beauty and elegance of this red pierced his soul, and all who were there to witness it.
Ronove applauded. Virgilia laughed lightly.
"It's valid," said Virgilia.
"A splendid checkmate, Lady Beatrice," said Ronove.
Tears flowed down Battler's eyes. They did not spray across the room as they did earlier, but simply fell to the floor below as he hung his head in defeat.
Jesus continued to spread his teachings of love and kindness among the apostles, except for Doubting Battler, who still stubbornly tried to explain this phenomenon through irrational stammering and incoherence about mysteries while milky tears dripped down his face.
He resigned. He gave up. He swung his head upward, threw his finger upward, and screamed.
"BEAAAAAATRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!"