Disclaimer: I do not own Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt's Angel or John Rogers, Chris Downey, and Dean Devlin's Leverage.
A/N: So, I felt that this needed more because I had a great idea for where to take it. Also, I like "The 12 Step Job." So, ta-da! I tried to keep stuff that's actually in the episode to a minimum since you've seen the episode and know what's going on and this is just a between-the-scenes/lines thing.
The Harmony Equation
Eliot wasn't sure what was worse: the fact that there was a vampire working in the offices below Leverage Consulting or the fact that he couldn't do anything about it. He had figured this out last week (sometime between winning the Vargas trial and coming back to work to see Nate in a meeting with what he guessed was a new client) when he had bumped into the girl in the hallway and realized that he recognized her.
All in all, he guessed it wasn't that big of a deal. Harmony was truly bad at being evil and she seemed set on trying to be normal. Eliot couldn't be sure, but he guessed that she had some friends in higher places, because she had some kind of charm that helped her go out in sunlight for limited periods of time before she started being, you know, on fire. Like a normal vampire. And he only knew this because she was very excited about showing said charm to him as soon as she recognized him as "that guy, the one that Angel hated and tried to kill" (which was so not the way he wanted to be remembered by anyone, but Harmony wasn't the brightest bulb so he guessed that was all she could really associate with him).
He'd have to ask her about it next time he saw her. Because he couldn't very well kill someone that one, would be missed by coworkers, and two, the team had probably seen around (they were very observant).
So he wasn't sure what to do about the situation. She was, after all, a vampire (and therefore soulless), but she was too, well, dense to be evil. He supposed that this meant he'd just keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't try to eat his teammates. Because that would be bad.
He was still pondering The Harmony Situation (yes, it deserved a real title) when Nate came to get him for the meeting about the new job. Which was really just what he needed because he'd been really bored since the Vargas trial had ended. Mostly because Nate was still mad at him and kept trying to get more information about him. Well, the Lindsey McDonald him. At least Hardison seemed to have given up (although he attributed this to Hardison trying to block the whole Eliot-dusted-5-vamps-in-front-of-me thing and therefore not wanting to get into it).
As Nate explained the basics to him, Eliot couldn't help but get a little frustrated. This really didn't seem like their kind of job (although, many of the jobs they took seemed that way at first). Maybe Eliot was pissed about The Harmony Situation, or maybe he was just pissed at Nate for all the nagging and questions, but he couldn't help but create a big scene about it.
"I don't understand. I mean, she has all the company's monthly statements. She—why can't she just sue the firm?"
"Yeah, well have fun with your seven year lawsuit against a Wall Street firm with your pro-bono mall lawyer."
"Seriously, I could—I have contacts that could help her. This isn't our thing."
"Eliot—"
"Nate. This is a courtroom thing, not a thief thing. Besides, who said anything about a pro-bono mall lawyer? I'm talking about professional get-people-shit-tons-of-money lawyers."
"No, no. We have to find this Jack Hurley. Hardison, run it."
So Eliot quietly sulked while the team was briefed (although he still participated because he wasn't an idiot, in fact he was probably smarter than all of them except maybe Hardison, and he wanted to make sure that the team understood that).
The guy was a stupid, patternless addict. And Eliot so didn't want to be doing this. But, hey, strippers were nice. After some arguing, Eliot and Hardison got into Eliot's suburban (one of his many cars and less conspicuous than say, his old truck or really nice sports car) and drove around to all of the guy's favorite haunts. Hardison seemed pretty set on only talking about the job and not bringing up the whole vampire battle thing, so the car was very quiet.
Eliot was getting incredibly agitated by the fifth or sixth place. Hardison had forced him to stop so he could get a slushy thing from some fast food chain (the only reason Eliot did so was that he figured he still kind of owed Hardison for the vampire thing). They were stopping outside the twelfth place when Hardison spilled his slushy thing (which was blue and totally going to stain his nice, clean carpeting).
Eliot couldn't help but explode at the poor kid and yell at him about cleaning the shit up when they got back (and he was glad Hardison didn't seem to take it that badly because later Eliot knew he would reflect on this and feel guilty yet again because he'd rather not scare the kid as he kind of liked him). Luckily Hardison and him had one of those semi-friendly insulting banter moments afterwards so all seemed good.
When the gang guys showed up Eliot was glad for a chance to take out some of the pent-up anger he had. So he did. Viciously.
"You ever thought about the need for anger management?" Hardison questioned after Eliot forcibly removed the gun from Hardison's completely-useless-at-aiming hand.
"Shut up and get in the car," Eliot grumbled as Hardison followed the order and they went to meet the team at Hurley's crash site.
Eliot was still in a very bad mood and he could tell that the rest of the team could tell, but he went along with the plan to put Hurley in rehab (which was actually not that bad, as far as plans went—putting the target in a limited space that they would have complete control of).
So Eliot and Hardison went back to the office while everyone else got set up in Second Act. On the way over to the elevators (after Hardison had cleaned out his car to his satisfaction) Harmony caught sight of them. Eliot groaned as she called out to him.
"Ooh! Hi, Eliot!" she called as she ran happily over to hug him (and he didn't do hugs, so it was very, very annoying—especially since she wore that weird perfume which had to be overwhelming to her vampiric sense of smell). Eliot was glad that he had managed to convince her that his name was and had always been Eliot Spencer, though (sometimes ditziness was apparently a blessing), because otherwise the situation would have been even more awkward.
"Uh…hi, Harmony…" he managed to reply while prying her off of him.
"I'm so glad I caught you on my way out! I was thinking that maybe we could do dinner this weekend? So we could catch up. I haven't talked to anyone but Willow in years and I just thought—"
"Sure, Harmony, sure," Eliot interrupted (he did have things he wanted to ask her about, after all), "but I'm in the middle of something right now, so…"
"Ooooh, yay!" Harmony squealed (she really was like a 12-year-old and that made him wince—she was, after all, probably going to live for another 200 years), "So, here's my number," she said, handing him an actual business card (which was not what he expected—it wasn't pink, for one, although there was a unicorn involved), "and call me this weekend! Bye!" Eliot tucked the card away and stared after her in shock as she practically skipped over to the exit.
As soon as she was gone, Hardison burst into laughter. "Dude, seriously? Her? You're dating her?"
"One, no. I'm not. Two, you know her?" Eliot replied as they got into the elevator.
"Yeah. She works in the offices below ours. Sometimes she brings donuts in and gives one to me. But seriously? Dinner?" He replied, bursting into another fit of laughs.
"Shut up, Hardison. She used to work for the same company I worked for. She's not the brightest bulb, but she knows some of the people I used to know and I'd like to get some information about them out of her," Eliot replied.
Hardison's laughter stopped. "You mean the whole lawyer thing?"
Eliot nodded.
"Oh, so you…"
"I just…want to know what's going on with the people I used to work with, okay? And this might be my only chance as she's too dense to remember that none of them liked me," Eliot explained as they made their way into the offices. It was mostly the truth, so he didn't feel too bad about it.
Hardison looked like he was about to say something else, but closed his mouth and went to his computer instead. Eliot shrugged and went to his office. Things had been getting more and more strained the more time that got put between them and the whole I-killed-vampires thing, so Eliot shrugged it off. He'd find a way to make it up to the kid eventually. Maybe he'd buy him one of those small disposable laptops that were useful on jobs as they could just be left behind if needed. Or maybe 5 of them. Yeah, that would be good. Eliot made a mental note to find out which kind Hardison liked and then make some calls to get some sent here.
The next day Eliot had the computers with him when he came into the office (he really did work that fast because let's face it, he's an ex-evil lawyer and has connections). Everyone else was already at Second Act, so it was just him and Hardison.
"What's in the box?" the geek asked as Eliot came into the conference room.
Eliot set the box down next to Hardison. "It's a gift. For you. To make up for what happened after the Vargas trial. I know you said you wanted to forget about it, but you've been really antsy and I wanted to get you something," he explained, feeling strange at being so…nice to someone in such an outright manner.
Hardison got a look on his face that reminded him of the nephew that he never got to see and tore open the box, removing the first of the 5 laptops in it. "You bought me computers?" Hardison asked, taking the other four out, "5 of them? And they're the exact kind that I like?"
Eliot nodded, secretly smirking to himself on the inside (it wouldn't do to look happy on the outside).
"How'd you know what to get?"
"Now that would be telling," Eliot replied, taking the box away, "have fun."
Hardison nodded with a grin, "Thanks, Eliot! This is the most awesome present ever!"
Eliot actually did grin then—his back was tuned, Hardison couldn't see it—as he made his way to the kitchen for a drink. It was about this time that Sophie came into the office.
"You two have to find Hurley's car."
By the time Eliot and Hardison made it to the parking garage on the ticket, things seemed to be back to normal for them and the brotherly bickering was back on track. Eliot was extremely relieved about this because he would've hated having to quit the team.
Of course, that might not be an issue if the damn bomb he'd just found under the seat Hardison was in went off. Eliot tried to get Hardison to calm down (and himself too, because bombs usually meant explosions, which he wasn't fond of) as he thought of ways to disarm the thing. He'd really rather not be in an explosion. When the only thing he could come up with was to literally put him and Hardison in a protective bubble (which he did not have the supplies for, because who carried around supplies for protective bubble spells), he knew they were probably screwed. He could probably manage to put up a protection spell, but not without using his own life energy as a focus (he wasn't a natural witch, he actually needed to do rituals and stuff rather than being able to pop lightning out of thin air), which would end with him unconscious. Which would also be bad.
Luckily it was about this time Hardison's babbling became useful and he was able to direct Eliot under the hood to the computer part of the car's wires so that they could hopefully disarm the thing. When it didn't go off, Eliot had never been so glad in his life that Hardison was a complete and utter geek. He grabbed the bomb from under the car to look at later.
After getting out of the two-gangs-holding-guns-on-us problem alive as well, Eliot and Hardison made their way to the rest of the team as quickly as possible. This day was turning into quite the adventure (even more so than that whole lets-kill-the-Circle-of-the-Black-Thorne thing—seeing Harmony had reminded him of how much pain he owed Angel for that).
Also, apparently Hardison still hasn't let the whole this-was-pretty-much-a-date thing go either because why else would he feel the need to tell the receptionist they were together and not just that he was adopted or something equally as logical and much less creepy. Eliot growled at him as they walked away. "Dammit, Hardison! Not cool!"
"It was the only thing I could think of!" Hardison complained as they made their way towards the other three.
"If you ever do it again, I'mma beat your ass," Eliot replied, turning Hardison towards him and glaring to make sure he got the message.
"Right. No more," Hardison agreed, looking fully apologetic. Eliot let him go and they went in to meet with the team.
The rest of the day was too busy for him to get much time to think between looking for people who knew Hurley and getting them to talk and keeping track of Hardison and worrying about Nate scaling walls while deprived of alcohol and trying to keep everyone alive. By the time the job was over, Eliot was exhausted and just wanted to go home. It was pure rotten luck that caused him to run into Harmony while he was going out of the building with Sophie.
"Eliot! Hi!" she squealed in that really obnoxious, high-pitched, way-too-happy way of hers.
Eliot barely held back his groan as he turned around. "Hey, Harmony…" He swore he could hear Sophie laughing at him.
She came clicking over in her heels (but luckily didn't hug him this time). "You look exhausted."
"That would be because I am," Eliot replied, trying really hard to stay friendly as he still wanted to talk to her (and he'd rather not have her mad at him and try to get her revenge by eating him or his friends).
"Oh. Well, I'll just leave you alone then. Are we going to dinner tomorrow?" Harmony replied with a way-too-bright smile.
Eliot thought it over for a second. He hadn't had time to figure out anything relating to the impending Harmony Dinner Problem. He glanced over at Sophie, who was hiding a smile behind her hand. "Sure. Seven?"
"Awesome! We can meet at that Italian place on the corner?"
"Sure," Eliot replied, pretty certain he was going to regret this entire business later, but knowing that he really wanted to figure out if Harmony knew anything about the rest of the crew from L.A. and discover where she got that charm from.
"Great! This is going to be so much fun!" she replied, hugging him before he realized what was happening and then running off. Eliot really did groan and roll his eyes then before turning back to Sophie.
"What was all that then?" she questioned.
"Harmony used to work for the same company as me and we vaguely knew each other. I think she's just excited to see a familiar face."
"But…dinner? That's not like you Eliot. And she's…"
"Really obnoxious, I know. But there's a few things I'm curious about and I figure she might know something. I know that she's kept in contact with at least one of our coworkers…" Not true. Harmony had mentioned Willow, who he only knew by reputation, but he bet she was responsible for that charm Harmony had for the sunlight. "Anyways, I just want to talk to her and see if she can get me into contact with someone." True, this time. He'd actually really like the chance to talk to the old L.A. crew (or what was left of them) about Wolfram & Hart.
Sophie hid a smile. "Are you sure you won't want to kill her before dinner's over?"
"I'm pretty sure I already want to…" Eliot grumbled. Sophie laughed again and they parted ways. Dinner with a vampire. What could go wrong?
Eliot debated whether or not to call Harmony and cancel their dinner, but decided she'd just be twice as insufferable the next time she saw him at the office building. She'd also then have his phone number. So, he dressed nicer than normal and got to the restaurant at exactly seven (it wouldn't do for him to be late as that was just rude). Harmony was standing right outside looking for him (actually looking really good—that girl knew how to dress well, too bad she wasn't very smart).
"Hi!" she called with a wave as she caught sight of him.
Eliot plastered on a grin (he was a conman, after all, he could grift) and hurried over before she made a bigger scene, allowing her to give him another hug (she was very friendly, especially for a vampire). He offered her his arm and they made their way into the restaurant.
They made small talk through the appetizer until Harmony brought up L.A. (he was glad she had brought it up because now he didn't have to find a way to).
"So why did Angel want to kill you?" she asked rather suddenly.
Eliot looked up at her in shock for a brief moment until the waiter came by. They gave their orders and he left again, allowing Eliot to return his attention to the question. "He thought I was evil."
"Were you?"
"Not anymore."
"That's what I don't get. Just because he was the supposed champion, he got a free pass on everything. Everyone did what he said. It's stupid."
Eliot grinned, suddenly finding kinship with Harmony. "Exactly. Besides, if Angel was looking at Angel from the outside, he wouldn't even like himself."
Harmony giggled as Eliot took a sip of his wine (Harmony had ordered it—he normally didn't drink wine—and it was actually pretty good).
"I've been meaning to ask you, who made you the sunlight charm?"
"Willow did. She's pretty cool for a geek. She's the only one of all of them that I talk to still. I have to get a new one every year."
"Time limit on the charm?"
Harmony nodded. "Willow's so nice though. She's willing to give me the chance to be normal, even though Angel says I'm evil."
"Seems he thinks that 'bout a lot of people…" Eliot replied as their food arrived. There was silence for a few moments as they started to eat (it was surprisingly un-awkward given that they barely knew each other). "Do you know where they set up shop and all that?"
"Cleveland. Willow said something about another Hellmouth."
"Seems…busy," Eliot replied, holding back a laugh at the way Harmony truly dug into her plate of pasta.
"Living in Sunnydale was awful, and I guess Cleveland is a lot like that. So I don't know why they'd go there voluntarily," Harmony shrugged.
"Hero types. They're not all there," Eliot replied, causing her to laugh again.
"I don't get to do this often," Harmony explained, "I mean, I don't need to eat really, so there's no point in doing so unless I'm invited by someone…"
"Where do you get your blood from?" Eliot asked, finally voicing a question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to.
"Butcher shops. It's mainly pig's blood, but every once in a while you can get your hands on something nice and exotic that really helps the taste. I'm trying to be good now since I'm not very great at being evil."
Eliot laughed. At least she realized that she wasn't cut out for the evil shindig.
The rest of the dinner passed rather easily and Eliot found himself actually having fun. When you were having dinner with a vampire, there was really no reason to hide anything about your job or the supernatural or any of the people he'd killed and/or maimed over the years. It was nice to be able to relax somewhat (and he never would have though that he would be getting along so well with Harmony). After the initial giddiness at having someone to talk to, Harmony actually calmed down into a much more tolerable personality, even if she still wasn't very bright. And she even laughed when he told the grosser bits of some of his jobs (the parts where Hardison or the others would cringe and tell him to be quiet).
"We should do this again," Harmony announced as Eliot finished paying the check (he was a gentleman, after all).
Eliot paused for a moment as they made their way outside. "Yeah, we should," he finally agreed (because he'd had fun, despite swearing he wouldn't).
He would never hear the end of this from Hardison and Sophie.
A/N: I like Harmony. She's completely ridiculous. Anyways, tell me what you think! I'm going to take the 'Complete' tag off of this, but it probably won't get updated all that often. I'm trying to decide what to do with this and which direction to go, especially in that 6 month break between seasons 1 and 2.