Hi fairies! So I died for a little bit! Sorry for the delays. I have been FLOODED with work. But I'm back and I'm sorry for the delay! Here is chapter two of Dare To Disobey. (Don't forget to review, follow, and favorite!)
After what felt like an eternity, but was in reality only a few weeks, I am released from the hospital with a billion and one prescriptions. I sit on an old couch staring at a baron coffee table with a small round object lying on it. This round object stares back at me reminding me of the imprisonment I've endured the past two years. A ring. I remember the ring being beautiful. Its' petite diamond was held gently by prongs. I remember the diamond being bright. I remember when I held it up to look at it a white light would penetrate it forming a small rainbow. But things are different now. The once brilliant gem is now a dull rock. No sparkle, no beauty, and no rainbow. My handcuffs sit there, taunting me-no mocking me. You're so pathetic. It spit. Hiding from him in Erza's apartment. You think Erza even wants you there? You're a burden. You're garbage. The only one who actually tolerates you is Gray. My mouth is dry and my eyes are heavy. This can't go on anymore. I haven't slept, I haven't gone out, I haven't eaten. No thoughts. No feelings. Nothing. Instead I've been on this couch, in Erza's two-bedroom apartment, feeling dead. I have been staying in this safe house for four days. Cana had Gildarts empty Gray's house of my belongings while Gray was out. Erza's apartment is filled with boxes. I haven't attempted to even empty any of them. A part of me felt bad, I had made a mess of Erza's pristine and orderly apartment, but another part of me had no motivation to even start unpacking.
Four days, three nights, no sleep, no food, no warmth, no feeling, just numb. I've been numb for ages. I don't like this. I just want to feel something. Anything. Why can't I feel? I want to feel. I want to feel something. Let me feel. Let me feel something. Please. PLEASE!
~RING RING RING RING~
My head jolts up and my heart races. I look at my surroundings. I was in the kitchen. How did I end up in here? I don't remember getting up. The walls are white and I am in front of the sink. I look down feeling something in my hand. A bright flash blinds my eye for a moment. My heart stops when I realize what was in my hand. My left wrist is turned, knuckles facing the floor, wrist facing the ceiling. The flash of light comes from the silver blade that had slid across my skin. A knife. Underneath the blade, blood trickles down around my wrist and onto the white tiles on the floor. My body goes limp. The knife falls from my fingers and makes a loud BANG that echoes throughout the empty apartment. I fall to my knees soon after the knife. My eyes flood with tears and my chin tightens. I bring my hands to the sides of my head grabbing handfuls of knotted blonde hair. Tightly I squeeze and tears fall like waterfalls onto my lap. I scream and sob. But the reason for crying wasn't the pain. The reason for crying was I had just cut myself, yet felt nothing. My skin was numb. I didn't even feel the blood that continued to poor out the slit I had made. I felt nothing and that, for me, made everything a hundred times worse. I cry all the tears I have. My sobbing doesn't stop there. I'm heaving and screaming. My throat felt extremely hoarse. I had a splitting headache. Like someone took an axe and just hit my head as hard as they could and left the axe there. My old sweatshirt was drenched in tears, drool, and snot. My face is sticky and itchy. I feel gross. My wrist had scabbed up and my hand is stained with dried blood. I needed to clean up. Erza would be home soon and she would not be happy if she saw me like this.
I groggily stand up. My headache gets worse and my vision goes blurry for a few seconds. My sight comes back and I pick up the knife from the floor. I scrub the knife clean and put it away. The knife wasn't supposed to be out in the open like that. The knives where supposed to be in the top cabinet with the lock on it along with all the other sharp items. I swear I have no idea how it got out. Maybe Erza forgot to put it away. I wash my hands and wrist and the scab is red and it doesn't phase me the way it should. I retreat to the couch and flop face first. I turn and pick up my-uh the ring. I don't know what to do. What do I do? Half of me wants it back on my finger. Half of me wants to run home to Gray and apologize. If I go back I'm safe. I'm taken care of. I have a home. I'm loved. Then the other half of me pipes up and screams are you crazy? You go back you're dead. Destroy the ring and run. Never look back.
I hear the door lock unlock. It opens and in walks the red haired women with a briefcase and a greasy bag of food. The smell burns my nose and makes my stomach churn. Erza puts her things on the table and hangs her coat on the chair. She comes into the living room and plops herself on the couch next to me.
"What are we watching?" She asks, her head facing the turned off television.
"My favorite show." I say, sarcasm dripping down each word.
"Well hello to you too." Erza huffs, I wasn't looking directly at her but I could tell she was rolling her eyes. She stands up and walks to the kitchen. She brings back the bag of greasy food and places it down on the coffee table. The bag moves the ring and my eyes follow it. Erza picks up the tiny object and stares at me. "I thought we talked about getting rid of this?" I shrug and Erza disappears into the kitchen. She brings back two sodas, some napkins, and some ketchup. She places it all on the table and sits down. Erza hands me a burger wrapped in tinfoil. I go to take it when Erza grabs my wrist.
"Erza what the-" My eyes widen and my heart races. I try to pull my arm away but Erza tightens her grip.
"What in God's name is this?!" Erza shrieks. Her face twisted with anger.
"It was an accident Erza." I lie.
"BULL! Tell me the truth." She snaps. She always knows when someone is lying. She is one of the top reporters in Magnolia.
"I'm sorry, ok? I won't do it again I promise." I say. I did not want to have this conversation again. Frankly, I have no energy and I didn't feel like getting into with her.
"Dammit, Lucy." She leans back and sighs. She rubs her face in frustration.
"Erza, I'm sorry I really am. Can we just move on?" I ask her.
"No, not really dude. I don't think I can move on. What happens when I come home and you're on the floor dead?" She asks. There are tears in her eyes. The last thing I wanted was to put her through so much pain.
"Erza, I am so sorry. I really am." I look at her. As much pain as I was in, I was bringing Erza down with me.
"I just don't know how to do this anymore." She says, eyes full of sorrow.
"I don't know either." I say. We sit there in silence for a good five minutes. "The food is probably cold now." I say quietly.
"Yea well, you eating it anyways." Erza says cracking a smile. I give her a playful shove. Erza grabs the remote and turns on the TV.
"A fire on the corner of 5th and 12th shocks Magnolia." A women with pink hair, and a black dress suit announces.
"Oh crap." Erza gasps.
"Our field reporter, Lyon Vastia, is on the scene. Lyon can you tell us what is going on?" The camera cuts to a white haired man who has one hand to his ear and a microphone in the other.
"Sherry, I'm standing here in front of this huge apartment that is literally engulfed in flames." The camera pans to the building that was spewing fire from the windows. "Eye witnesses say this is an unexpected accident. So far 35 people have escaped but there are many others who have yet to come out. When asked, one of the survivors said this was probably caused by a gas leak. Many tenants have been complaining about a weird smell and unusual heat and water experiences. The landlord had been working hard to solve the issue but it seems he was too late." Sirens scream in the distance and soon become louder. "Sherry, it seems Magnolia's Fire Department has just arrived." The camera pans toward the red truck and about 15 men pile out.
"God aren't firefighters just the sexiest beings on planet Earth?" I turn to her and raise an eyebrow. She was mid-chew and half a fry was hanging out of her mouth. She looked ridiculous I had to snicker.
"What are you talking about?" I giggle. She pauses the TV and a man with blue hair sticking out from under his helmet was on the screen. He had a cool tattoo over one of his eyes.
"That is what I'm talking!" She exclaims pointing at the TV.
"Yea he's pretty cute." I say convinced. His yellow jacket had a rectangular tag on it that said J. Fernandes.
"Well lay off." She says giving me a playful punch. "He's mine."
"You're insane." I laugh. "Do you even know his name?"
"I will tomorrow because we're going down to the fire house for the charity luncheon." She says, a demonic smile on her face.
"Oh, no. .no-" I say shaking my head.
"Oh hush, you." Erza says. "You're going and that's that." I sigh. I was too weak to argue.
"Guess I have to shower, huh?" I sigh. Erza nods and turns the TV on again. 3 more men run past and Erza pauses it again.
"Him." She points.
"What?" I ask.
"You are going to talk to him tomorrow. He's yours." The boy that was on the TV was actually really cute. He had this salmon hair that popped out underneath his helmet. His nametag had N. Dragneel written on it. Something weird happened the longer I looked at this man. Something that hadn't happened in a very long time. I smiled.