'What is SHE doing here?'
'She's coming with me, Quinn. Deal.'
'Daria... I know you wanted to tell your little friend but I don't think...' Helen then looked, really looked, at her eldest daughter's expression and the unspoken plea in her eyes and relented. Jake started to object too but Helen put her hand on his and squeezed, making him look at her, then at Daria, then he also went quiet and started the car. Quinn raised her eyes to heaven then shook her head and put her headphones on and resolutely stared out of the window on her side of the car. Jane looked at Daria and nodded to her friend, then surreptitiously gave her hand a squeeze too.
It was not a pleasant trip, it rained most of the way and everyone sat in their own personal pit of silence. As they neared their destination the sun finally broke through the cloud cover but it was watery and wan, no defense against the chill wind that cut mercilessly through any layers of clothing and seemed to get into their bones. They all half ran from the parking lot up to the imposing front door of the Victorian mansion that served as the entrance to the austere modern facility behind it.
'And who is this charming young lady?' Doctor Thewlis asked as they filed into his office.
'This is my friend, Jane Lane.' Daria answered. The doctor raised an eyebrow and smiled, having gotten to know the family and being concerned for Daria's solitary nature.
'Well you're welcome here Jane Lane... No flash photography and no throwing peanuts at the inmates.'
Jane flushed crimson and lowered her head. 'I... I'm not here to sightsee.' She looked sideways at Daria. 'Just to support my friend...'
The doctor seemed satisfied. He turned to Helen. 'Won't you all please sit... I have some news, some of it good, some of it not so good.' He paused for a moment, his elbows on the table and his fingers steepled in front of his mouth. 'Doctor Steevens got a reaction from Ronnie during therapy this week.' He stopped again while the family digested this. 'Unfortunately it was a negative reaction... she threw a tantrum in fact... however it is the first voluntary movement she's made since she came here last May.'
Helen looked confused 'But surely even that's a good thing? I mean... she was like...'
'The lights were on but nobody was home.' Daria finished for her. 'Doesn't it mean she's still in there? Is she fighting to get out... or fighting to stay in... they... I mean she, could be so stubborn...'
'That's a very good insight, Daria. I believe she is, in fact, doing this to herself... that doesn't make it any less of a real problem... I don't wish to alarm you and she's quite safe here but I think an adult in her frame of mind would have attempted suicide... being a child she's just not strong enough... or perhaps brave enough... to physically harm herself... this is more like a hunger strike. It's the slow road to that same place.'
The family were all quite upset at this and Jane noticed that even tight lipped Quinn had tears in her eyes at the thought of losing another sister. 'How do they live with it?' She thought to herself. 'What choice do they have.' She felt like an intruder in someone else's drama... she hadn't even seen a photo of Ronnie yet, just a couple of pictures of the twins when they were much younger. Not for the first time she regretted her decision to accompany the Morgendorffers on this visit. Jake spoke up this time.
'What caused the tantrum, do you know?'
'A compact mirror, would you believe. Just a cheap little plastic one. Sarah, Doctor Steevens, put it up in front of her so she could see her reflection. Ronnie screamed and knocked it away, she kept on screaming for a while and hitting her head and her face, we had to give her a mild sedative to get her to calm down before she did any damage... she managed to give herself a black eye just the same. The ironic thing... what prompted Sarah to try the mirror in the first place... is that Ronnie has this favorite spot out in the greenhouse where she seems calmer and more rested. There's a small ornamental fountain with a pool in front of it, she seems quite content with her reflection in the water. We wheel her out there every day, she's there now in fact, shall we go?'
Jane followed the doctor and the Morgendorffers through the old part of the building and through a pair of french windows into the 'greenhouse', what would more properly be called a conservatory, made of wrought iron and glass, two storey's high and larger than a tennis court. It was full of semi-tropical plants, quiet except for the gurgle of a small fountain that gushed from an ornamental lion's mouth into a stone lined pool in the center of the floor. By the pool was a wheelchair on which a figure sat, leaning forward, her arms resting on the edge of the pool as she gazed listlessly at the ever-flowing water. A nurse sat on a bench nearby with a book on her lap, she rose and greeted the doctor, said something to him Jane couldn't hear and then left.
Jane hung back as Helen, then each of the others, went up to the girl and put their arms around her and kissed the top of her head. None of them got a reaction that she could see. She approached slowly and got a good look at the girl. She knew the girl was being properly looked after but her first thought on seeing her was that she looked like one of those survivors of Auswitch or Belsen that she'd seen in that film in history class. Skin stretched paper thin over bone thin hands, eyes shrunken into what should have been a beautiful face, a Morgendorffer sister face, the face that Quinn made the most of and Daria tried to hide. The girl's hair was a shade darker than Quinn's but much lighter than Daria's, her eyes green. Her hair was cropped short, giving her a gamine, boyish look, delicately framed oval spectacles rested on her nose. She was dressed in pajamas and a robe. Fluffy pink slippers incongruous on this wasted wreck of a girl. Jane felt tears in her eyes.
After a while Daria called her over. Daria was kneeling by her sister's side trying, and failing, to make eye contact. She said 'Ronnie, remember how I never had any real friends in Highland? How you and Quinn and... Nessa... (no reaction) used to call me the Loner Chick? Well that's not true any more, I have a friend now, a really good friend. Would you like to meet her?' Daria caught Jane's hand and pulled her down beside her. 'Ronnie, this is Jane. Jane, this is my baby sister, Ronnie, say hi.'
Jane took Ronnie's hand in her own. 'Hi Ronnie, nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you from Daria, she likes to talk about you, she loves you, you know?' (Still no reaction, nothing). Jane backed off and sat on the bench lately vacated by the nurse. Doctor Thewlis stood to one side watching as the family members took turns sitting with Ronnie and reporting little bits of personal news. Quinn monopolized that, of course, rabbiting on about the important affairs of the Fashion Club. Watching this little tableau vivant Jane felt inspired and took her sketchpad out of her backpack. Using a 2B pencil she dashed off quick sketches of each of the family members, trying to capture expressions and gestures. After a while Helen went off for another consultation with the doctor and Daria and Quinn stood back, together but not speaking. Jane moved around to improve the composition as Jake sat on the ground by his youngest daughter, holding her hand and looking up into her face, saying nothing. He sat like that for long enough for Jane to do a detailed sketch, getting in some details of the conservatory and stone fountain so that she'd have the basis for a painting.
Then she turned to a fresh page and with the help of some of her sketches mapped out another drawing, Ronnie with her family about her gazing into the fountain, this time though she changed it so Ronnie's reflection showed her healthy and whole, smiling, the girl she should have been. Jane got in quite close beside Jake so she could get the details of the face right. Daria and Quinn had started to argue, they were getting loud in the almost chapel like surroundings. Jane put down her pad and went with Jake to break it up.
'You never liked her anyway, you were always complaining about the noise they made and the mess they made. You and your books, sitting around reading and whining... at least I tried to be a sister to them, tried to teach them how to dress properly and look after their hair. What did you do? Call them dirty little brats and tell them to go play in the swamp where the alligators would get them. Well are you happy now, Daria?'
Jane was appalled as every one of Quinn's words seemed to strike her friend like a blow, there was obviously some truth in the barbed words or Daria would not have looked so stricken, so ashamed. Daria didn't spear Quinn with one of her zingers as she usually would, she just sat on the floor with a thump and started to cry. Quinn realized she might have gone too far and was reaching for Daria when Jane noticed that Jake was not moving, he stood, stunned, staring at the wall, then he slowly turned around.
Jane followed his gaze. Ronnie had Jane's sketchbook in her hands and she was weeping. There was no doubt now, she HAD spoken. The bolt that had skewered Jake to the floor was the sound of his youngest daughter speaking her first word in almost two years. As she stared at Jane's drawing of her reflection she had said 'Nessa.'
Disclaimer: I am not even remotely connected to a mental health care professional - just a wannabe storyteller.