Warnings (seriously, you have to consider these) : Inanity, ramblings, forced humor (though if it doesn't seem forced to you... please do tell me as I am currently spazzing out), OOCness, and somewhat plotlessness. There are also Japanese words (there are translations at the end). An... overusage (?) of Japanese words.

Chapter 2 – Hyuuga-sama : Elf Crown Prince

Hyuuga Neji was the heir to the elven crown, despite him merely being a nephew of the current king, Hyuuga Hiashi, and the said king having his own daughter, Hyuuga Hinata. She had never been one of those ruler types. She was timid and preferred the quiet life. The life of a housewife. Hiashi-dono, being the understanding father that he was, well, understood her and let her be. Now, Hiashi-dono had another daughter who was younger than Hinata-hime, Hanabi-hime. But Hanabi-hime didn't want the throne. She preferred the wilderness over the paperwork and the dealing-with-the-elven-shit and all of that. Hiashi-dono, being the utterly compassionate man that he was, allowed her to do whatever she wanted to do with her life. And so, that was how Neji-sama became crown prince.

Neji-sama, at first, refused the offer. But Hiashi-dono had no other people of his lineage whom he could give his crown that he truly trusted to handle things as, or even more, efficiently and well as he did. After hearing that sob story, at least it looked like that when Hizashi-dono told it, Neji-sama took the job willingly. As willingly as someone who was being threatened with pointy objects and stuff more horrible than anything Tsukiyomi, which was some sort of powerful technique that Neji-sama heard from one of his servants that once went to human grounds, could dish out could. That had happened around two centuries ago. Neji-sama had gotten the hang of crown prince during that long time. Well, except the go-get-a-consort thing which Hiashi-dono had thought up of just five decades ago.

Hiashi-dono was a patient man, but even anyone could get irritated after a half a century of Neji-sama rejecting every beautiful woman, and sometimes even the occasional man, presented to him. So he said, quote, "Neji, you are going to get married to the next thing that resembles us, or at least walks upright on two legs and has two arms, that passes through this land of ours", end quote.

Neji-sama had managed to make his minions fend off creatures away from the forest since then. Yeah, and there were also those elves that loved their crown prince very much. To the point of obsession, in fact. It had been a bit creepy, but Neji-sama had never been more glad to have them. They made sure that no one ever got to the forest. At least to the part where Hiashi-dono or any of the guards or servants who did not have a romantic interest on Neji-sama could see them. But it just so happened that no one was anticipating Sasuke-kimi.

Sasuke-kimi had just gotten out of the Forest of Death and into another one. It was just one forest after another. When was there going to be a town or something? He would kill to have a bath and a nice bed. It had been around a week since he last bathed or slept on a bed with satin comforters and polyester blankets. He could smell himself and the smell was... horrible... It was killing his olfactory nerves. And his back might soon start to hurt from sleeping on logs or branches.

Knowing Sasuke-kimi's obvious blue blood, used figuratively, of course, he might be exaggerating a lot.

Shit! His back might become deformed!... Why did he care again? Oh, right, there was no doctor. And no Itachi-kimi-niisan to help him. Ugh! Stupid, stupid Orochimaru-ou. He really should burn in hell.

All of a sudden, he was hit on his nape with a lot of force. He, being merely a human who had been caught surprised, fell unconscious.

The hitter was none other than Hiashi-dono himself who had come out of the palace to take a walk. He was, obviously enough, very happy. Now Neji-sama would have a consort. Despite the consort being a male human being. And dirty and smelly. But Hiashi-dono could see that this human possessed at least some looks. They just had to tidy him up to see how he really looked. Hopefully he'd be more handsome. Then maybe Neji-sama, the little narcissistic perfectionist, might consider.

Neji-sama was angry. No, wait, he was positively livid. He was going to kill the ningen that managed to escape the people he had on the forest to take care of the strays there. But of course, it seemed as if Hiashi-dono had anticipated this and had the ningen stay in his own room. Stupid uncle! Not only did the man force him to be crown prince, but now he was also forcing him to marry this complete and utter stranger. A human at that. Neji-sama thought that this ningen he was going to marry had the face of a pig or something like that. Only poor and ugly ningen went through forests like theirs. Travelers. Then again, Neji-sama had a very high opinion of beautiful.

And who was to blame him? He had satiny soft black-that-was-bordering-on-dark-brown hair and pretty white eyes that suggested of his royal, Hyuuga lineage. He had soft, perfect, and slightly tanned skin. His body was not too thin but not too buff. Just perfect. He was tall. His ears were Hyuuga ears which weren't a lot much like ordinary, pointed elf ears. Rather, they were like those of a human's. And like everything else about him, his ears were perfect. His lips were thin, yet were soft and looked kissable. Very kissable indeed.

Neji-sama was the epitome of graceful masculinity and the perfection of it. His beauty was ethereal. And he sometimes cursed this beauty of his. Because of it, people never fell in love with him, the real him. They fell in love with his face, with the radiance he emitted, with his beauty, with his strength. They only saw the superficial.

"Ah, Neji-kun, have you met your soon-to-be-consort?" Hiashi-dono asked with a smile.

Neji-sama shook his head. He didn't even know what his soon-to-be-consort-but-hopefully-not looked like. He forced himself to be polite. This was his uncle, this was his king. They were in the hallway. Hiashi-dono was standing right beside his door while Neji-sama was going to Hiashi-dono's room.

It seemed as if this consort was male. If it was a female, Hiashi-dono would've just called her a wife. Neji-sama was a smart boy. A very smart one indeed.

"He is in the bath nearest to my room," Hiashi-dono said. "It seemed as if he took things quite nicely compared to other humans who saw us up close."

It had been around fifteen minutes since the ningen left for the baths. Hiashi-dono purposely gave him the long cut so that Neji-sama would be the dear little crown prince that he was and guide his soon-to-be-consort to the aforementioned bath. Hopefully they could bond a bit. And hopefully Neji-sama wouldn't be a stubborn ass and that the ningen wouldn't be too overwhelmed of him... or answer back.

"Have you told him about his position?" Neji-sama asked.

"Iya, iya. I leave that to your hands... I believe that you might come to like him. Oh, and could you please check if he actually got to the bath? He might get lost. Or some of the servants might decide to play with him," Hiashi-dono said.

He could safely say that this ningen was quite a pretty thing. Not beautifully mature like Neji-sama, but cute, adorable. More so effeminate than Neji-sama. And Hiashi-dono was a great judge of beauty. After all, the Hyuuga were beautiful people. No joking and no exaggerating. Even amidst other elves, who were already quite beautiful, their looks still stood out. Especially Neji-sama's.

Neji-sama bowed, a sign that he was willing to follow Hiashi-dono's order, and walked to where he thought the ningen could've gone to. He knew that it was the long way to the bath. Hiashi-dono, after all, was a devious, devious king.

Hiashi-dono's smile widened when Neji-sama left. Perhaps this was a good beginning then... And he had never tried to pair up with his dear nephew a ningen. He would like to see the results of this one.

The elven palace was, undoubtedly, a beautiful one that blended well with nature. It had gleaming wooden floor boards, sliding doors (some glazed, some paper, and some large ones that showed the view of and lead to the gardens outside), and it was wonderfully ornamented. There was not a spot of dirt nor a speck of dust to be seen. Truly a haven for the anal-retentive, automysophobic, mysophobic (or misophobic), molysomophobic, myxophobic, and rupophobic.

Sasuke sighed. Where the hell was that bathroom? How many more rooms and hallways and decorative stuff did he have to pass before he grasped that doorknob or handle that was the entrance to a heaven of warm water, scented oils, fragrant soaps, and user-friendly shampoo... or, at least, that was what the man or, rather, elf, which was what Sasuke noticed when he saw the two others with elven ears behind the man, who called himself Hyuuga Hiashi said. Being in the bath-needy state that he was, Sasuke wasn't in the mood to doubt or argue.

Where the heck is that bathroom?, he thought.

"I know a shorter way to the bathroom that you are looking for, ningen," someone behind him said.

He turned around and for the first time in centuries, dark gray met white-nearing-lavender. Sasuke blushed. Shit! He got caught looking like an idiot. A lost idiot. His Uchiha pride was being wounded once again. Damn it, were the males around him supposed to be more superior than him?!

Neji-sama could sense that this human was different. He had met humans before. All of them had blushed at seeing him because he was so beautiful and they wanted him so much. This human, however, was blushing because he was embarrassed. Yes, yes. A different one. Perhaps I might even... no, I don't, Neji-sama thought. There was no way he could possibly think that he was alright with the prospect of getting married to this human, no matter how different or... or...

He also thought that he had been very wrong in suspecting that this ningen was butt ugly. Yes, very wrong indeed. Damn, he actually felt a bit jealous. He could sense that that ningen had better skin than him, despite being dirty. Or perhaps it was just Neji.

Neji-sama had never been a hot-blooded male. Never. He had no time to lust over people or start silly trysts. He was a Hyuuga and he was going to be the king. His responsibilities overweighted his own wants and, sometimes, needs. And he certainly wasn't going to start acting like some hormonal teenager just because of this pretty and pink-at-the-moment human who seemed to like his pride very much.

Yes. Neji-sama would not go down that way. He was not so easily distracted. His will was as hard as diamond. Most importantly, he would not let Hiashi-dono win. He will be the ultimate winner of this twisted game of finding-Neji-sama-a-consort! He was, obviously enough, a very competitive man. Or elf. Whatever. Though he knew for a fact that his uncle was just as competitive as him.

"Follow me," Neji-sama said.

Hey, what the heck... just as long as I get inside a tub, Sasuke thought.

He followed Neji-sama through the many hallways, doors, windows, and ornaments. After half an hour of walking, Neji-sama stopped in front of a rather large sliding door and slid it open. Sasuke's eyes widened. What a pretty and huge bathroom! The bath tub was also very large. In fact, it was as big as an Olympic swimming pool. Not that Sasuke or anyone else there knew what the Olympics were or anything...

This bathroom was a godsend, for sure. It was everything Sasuke had ever wanted in a bathroom. It was beautiful and complete.

"Aren't you going to take a bath, ningen?" Neji asked.

Sasuke remained quiet, still impressed by the sheer beauty of the bathroom. Neji was beginning to wonder if this particular human was already in love with the bathroom. This wasn't anything impressive, there were other bathrooms exceedingly more beautiful than this one. Or were human bathrooms just so... ugly?

"This bathroom is perfect. I can't just soil it," Sasuke said soon enough.

Neji sighed. What was wrong with this human? Or were the other humans just as weird, or even weirder, than this one?

"There are bathrooms more beautiful than this, ningen. Compared to them, this looks like a mud puddle," he said. "Since you're so enthralled with our baths, how about I take you to every single one I can after you take a bath. Frankly, you are quite smelly."

"Hold on to that promise, mister," Sasuke said.

"Are humans this easy to placate?"

"It's not my fault I'm inclined to beauty. I'm pretty good at aesthetics, I'll have you know."

"I can tell," Neji said sarcastically.

Sasuke turned around only to glare at him. He merely stared back. He wasn't giving this ningen the satisfaction of seeing his irritation, of seeing any of his emotions. This ningen wasn't even worthy of being in the same room as elves, much less him, the elven crown prince. Ah, well, give the ningen some time and he'd learn to respect him. If Hiashi-dono got his way, this ningen would be his lifetime partner.

And, well, there was a small part of Neji that told him that it would be alright having this ningen, this boy as his consort. There was just something about him. Perhaps it was because he didn't treat Neji like his fans. Perhaps it was because the ningen acted oddly to different kinds of things. Although this part of Neji was exceedingly small and he easily stamped out its voice. Much better. He didn't need to think that he was alright with this. He truly wasn't. He didn't want to be forced. Didn't want to be married. He was perfectly fine the way he was. Anyway, if he was to have a consort, he'd be the one looking. Or maybe his consort would find him.

Where the hell did he learn that seemingly romantic shit? Maybe he should stop reading those sappy, although quite well-written, romantic novels Hinata-hime read... Why was he even reading those in the first place?!

Sasuke turned his back to Neji when he saw that this staring match wouldn't be ending anytime soon and he was really itching for a bath now. In Neji's case, their little staring match ended in him getting a nice view of his soon-to-be-consort-but-truly-really-hopefully-not's posterior. And what a lovely posterior it was. He took the ningen's clothes and shoes, seeing as it was dirty and smelly and he wasn't that cruel to let someone who just bathed to wear such apparel, and walked away.

The elves in the court wore formal and traditional outfits. Neji himself was wearing a white kimono with black hakama pants, a white haori bearing the Hyuuga Clan symbol at the back, white tabi socks, and black zori sandals with a white strap. This ningen would also have to wear that. He would have to learn to conform to their rules and the rest of their norms if he was to be, though not that Neji was hoping that the ningen would be or that he was comfortable with that fact, his consort.

Lovely dark hues would probably do this ningen well. Neji was very picky when it came to clothes, even to the clothes of others. If they were going to be with him, they had to be presentable. Very presentable. Neji got out a dark blue haori, a black kimono and black hakama pants, black tabi socks, and black zori sandals with a dark blue strap. Of course, there was no Hyuuga symbol on the back of this haori. Neji was very specific as to what people wore. Only those of the Hyuuga lineage would wear outfits with the Hyuuga symbol.

He took his time in getting back to the bathroom where he left the ningen, seeing as it was such a wonderful night outside what with the fireflies and all. The sakura were in full bloom, too. Nature's beauty was always the best.

Oddly enough, that soon-to-be-consort-but-hopefully-not of his reminded him of the night.

He and the ningen were now walking to where the dining room was. Or, to be more exact, Neji was taking long strides and Sasuke was jogging to catch up with him. Yes, that and the dining room was merely the dining room for tonight's dinner.

Sasuke had always thought that large places with too many rooms was silly and impractical. In fact, he didn't memorize any of the palaces he had gone to, even the ones that his family owned. The only paths that he memorized were those that concerned his room, the assigned dining room, the throne room, the main entrance, and the emergency exits, which were also somewhat known and identified as the windows.

He also thought that this person, who was Neji but he didn't know that the elven prince's name was Neji, disliked him. This was, at least in Sasuke's point of view, the first time they had ever met. What had he done to irk that guy? Though perhaps he was just like that. That was how Itachi-kimi-niisan was viewed by the people. An ice cube. A devilishly handsome ice cube at that. Yes, the other guy was, indeed, quite handsome. If he had been any other lesser being, Sasuke would've said that the other guy was very handsome. But Sasuke was Sasuke. He failed to see from beyond the asexual point of view.

Neji was very irked. Not because his soon-to-be-consort-but-hopefully-not was a royal pain in the ass. Rather, it was because Sasuke was not as ugly as he had hoped to be. No, no. This little ningen was no ordinary traveler. Had Hiashi-dono really found this guy on the forest trail? Impossible! Unless, of course, the ningen was actually a prince and ran away from his home. Though that would also be impossible seeing as ningen princes had been trained to like whatever shit was thrown at them. Like evil engagements and atrocious peace treaties.

The two of them soon arrived at the dining room. The luxurious dining room. Polished wooden floors, simple yet wonderfully elegant chandeliers hanging on the ceiling, a well-varnished ashen table laden with mouth-watering food and delicious beverages, and comfy-looking pillow-like objects that one sat on. The traditional dining room of royalty.

Hiashi-dono was sitting on the far end. Hanabi-hime was sitting on his left. Hinata-hime was sitting on his right with her husband and child sitting beside her. Neji took his usual place on the table, that one being opposite of Hiashi-dono who made Sasuke sit beside him.

Hinata-hime smiled at him. She had always been gentle. Neji liked her more than secretly sly Hiashi-dono and as-tough-as-nails Hanabi-hime. But right now... right now he loathed her. He knew what that smile meant. That was her approval of his new consort candidate. And she didn't give her approval everyday. Hinata-hime was someone with great intuition. She could tell if they were going to be together, they would be happy. She may have smiled a couple of times before, but she had never smiled quite like that at someone outside of their family. Like the way she was smiling right now.

Hanabi-hime also seemed to approve since her lips weren't curled in disgust in the least bit and her white eyes did not harden even more. Neji knew then that his family was a hundred percent okay with this guy.

Stupid ningen.

That was the exact moment Sasuke felt the air around him grow even more tense. He looked at the one sitting right next to him, who would be Neji but, as said before, he still didn't know the elf's name was Neji. That guy, whatever his name was, sure looked serious. Or constipated. Sasuke would chuckle if the atmosphere was lighter on this side of the table, but it wasn't.

Translations that are hopefully right :

dono – mister ; is said to be very formal ; mostly used in addressing people on an envelope (tono would actually fit much more than dono...)

hime – princess

o/niisan – big / older brother

ningen – human

kun – used in addressing younger boys or boys in general

iya – something like "no"

haori – formal coat

hakama – a man's formal divided skirt ; or... well... pants... formal ones

tabi – (utter redundancy on tabi socks... it just sounded right) socks with the split toe

zori – flat sandals (or something like that)... for sure, they're not the type that you see old Japanese men in anime wearing... it's easier to walk in zori than that one

Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, namely, Kaikouken, Dragon77, and colgate.advanced.fresh.

Thank you, yet again, for taking the time to read this. Please do comment. If there are any mistakes to be found, please don't hesitate to point them out.

On the next chapter, Sasuke finally finds out about the engagement.