Father and William sat opposite me in the car and I found myself looking anywhere but at them. My gaze trickled over the diminishing countryside that dropped away, transforming into the busy town of Southampton. As we got closer to the docks, the crowds thickened to form barriers of people on either side of the car. Plenty of people had already arrived at the docks, mostly the lower class passengers who had to go through the health inspection.
"Stop daydreaming Clara." My father snapped and immediately my gaze jumped from the window and into my lap. After the death of my mother, everything had changed. Both he and William had become sharp and withdrawn together, while I was left to figure out how to act when around them. I obviously wasn't doing a good job.
A couple more moments passed by and suddenly the car was slowing dramatically and I was forced to stare out of the window again. There beside the car, like a menacing shadow, was Titanic! Bigger than any boat I had ever seen before, she looked down on me like I was nothing. Mother had always tried to make me feel special, but next to this boat I merely felt small.
"It is huge!" I spoke when I felt the door open and took the chauffeur's hand. He nodded his head, trying not to smile at me. Father had banned anything of the kind. They weren't even supposed to look at me.
"Yes Clara. I told you days ago." William sounded bored as he climbed from the car behind me. "She is the biggest ship on this here Earth. Bigger than anything else man has made." For some reason, men seemed to be more interested than the women. I was merely worrying about this sea sickness business.
"Miss?" The voice of Alice was no behind me. "Would you like me to take your overcoat to the rooms? Are you warm enough?"
"Yes, yes. Thank you Alice." I nodded, unable to connect with her properly. My mind was wandering now.
"Come Clara." My father spoke, just as William took my arm, a fake smile glued to his face like a mask. And then we were walking towards the ship; the ship of dreams. Titanic.
This ship was like a prison, chaining me closer to Father and William. My stomach was churning as we walked along the walkway to the door of the ship. Crowds were cheering wildly now as the smoke started to pipe from the ship and it got ready to leave. William was talking to one of the ship staff, ordering to do something or other. Father was withdrawn from the world as always, saying nothing and merely being led to the suite. We were to stay in one of the largest room; a parlour suite with our own promenade deck.
Once at the door to our rooms, I was able to see what all of the talk was about. Perhaps this was luxurious as they had said. I was not going to admit that, but I could see now. People were everywhere; carrying our luggage, offering father and William drinks, perfecting the making of the beds and standing around. I felt trapped, yet free at the same time. Something great was going to happen on this ship; great didn't have to mean good though. Terrible things could be great too.
I found myself wandering over to our promenade deck where I could see hundreds of people standing at the docks, waving and calling goodbyes to their loved ones. Looking to the right and left, I could see passengers hanging over the sides of the railings, waving back and shouting things. The occasion was supposed to be happy, yet I felt more alone than ever. I was leaving England behind, leaving everything had had ever known behind, leaving mother behind.
"Come away from the window, Clara." William's sharp voice cut through my thoughts and I quickly wiped away the tear before turning back to him.
"I was only looking, William." I shot back.