House brandished his howling cane, a bewitching blizzard befixing his bleeding balls. He blasted through the pearly gates of Heaven and throttled into God's palace, fantasies of flaming cinnamon buns dancing within his unsanitary skull. The myths of God were all wrong; he was not a he, but rather a being of a new gender entirely, for which the pronouns are shke, shkiers, and shkerm. Shke objected to House bursting into shkiers dwelling. House furiously interrogated shkerm, demanding the fuck out of shkiers indefinite supply of Ultradin. Shke refused, because shkiers Vicodin supply had been pilfered by the pulsar pirates. House dissected shkerm, removing shkiers gonads, which, naturally, were neither ovaries nor testes; they were follotules.
House flew to Jeremiah, the world the pulsar pirates called home. He leveled its largest city by launching a payload from the space in his thigh where leg muscle once was. He had an IGBM launcher installed in the void.
House's destruction of Neutron City summoned the World President, the last lava mantis, named Shidoopy. Enraged by his detruction of her world and of her utopian pulsar pirate nations, Shidoopy attacked House, beating him with Chase's eyecheese, which was now harder than diamond. House laughed as he whipped out God's follotules.
"Not the holy follotules!" With power to obliterate even the crustiest of Chase eyecheese, Shidoopy combusted into a poisonous cloud of autism, which House avoided. Using Knife Party, he diced the pulsar into elegantly executed wedge chunks; they were arranged on a black hole platter with such grace and beauty, all the chefs in the universe shed manly tears at the mere sight of it. House snarfed down the pulsar chunks, donating nothing to food bank.
The pulsar chunks went straight to his thighs, causing them to become so fat they crushed the universe. House started rolling, forming a universe snowball. He crashed into the 9th dimension, tore right through it, then ripped straight through the 10th and 11th dimensions until finally entering the mystical 12th dimension. It was both everything and nothing; trying to grasp it is not advised for it can transform any brain into the harbinger of the beginning and the end. House poked a hole in the 12th dimension with the raging stiffy he could not stifle from extincting the pulsar pirate race and undermining charity. His boner pierced the 12th dimension, causing everything that ever was and never will be to coalesce into a singular point. That singularity was the zygote which would become Gregory House. It laughed.