Note: This is not slash. All of the characters stay true to themselves.

I Now Pronounce You… Uh…

Chapter Two – The Ghost of Dr. Frankenstein

Preamble:

Well, it will be easier for you to just go back and read Chapter One if you haven't already. I'll wait for you right here, so take your time. (Music begins to play: The theme from Jeopardy.) Yawn…stretch…scratch ear…look at watch…pet cat…get cold drink…get snack…pet other cat…check the weather for tomorrow-hmm high temp 73? Nice!…kiss bf…kiss bf again and again and again and…Oh, You're back. (Blush!) So tell me, you hummed Jeopardy while you read this, right? Come on. Tell the truth! Ha! I knew it.

*****

Sheppard touched his earpiece connecting him to Caldwell and Ronon and requesting to meet them in Caldwell's office. When he and McKay arrived Ronon was already there slouched in a chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He had his weapon out and was flipping it end over end, hand to hand. Caldwell had filled him in on the situation and amusement oozed out of him to fill the room.

It was too bad that Teyla was still on Atlantis, Sheppard thought as he opened the door and propelled McKay inside with a hand in the middle of his back. He was certain that she would have helped him but she had dislocated a shoulder on their last mission and Keller wouldn't release her to travel for at least another week. Torren's father, Kanaan, had recently moved to Atlantis so at least she had someone to help her with child care. Lieutenant Eddie Jones had been sent in her place but Sheppard wanted this to stay between the four of them for now. It wasn't that he didn't trust the young officer but the fewer people involved in this the better. At least for now.

McKay stopped in the middle of the room and just stood there. He didn't greet anyone, just stared straight ahead blinking rapidly, his face blank and his tablet clasped to his chest the same way an anxious child would hold onto a stuffed animal or "blankey".

"Have a seat, Dr. McKay." Caldwell indicated one of two empty chairs. "Dr. McKay?"

Sheppard poked him in the back again, nudging him forward. "Rodney! Sit down!" McKay sat down with a graceless thump.

"Well, Sheppard, we're all here. You said you had a solution to this thing with the Kardanians. Let's hear it." Caldwell leaned his elbows on the desk hands clasped together. He'd made an art form of appearing calm, impassive, emotionally unaffected. It was one of the things that made him a good commander.

Sheppard met the eyes of his friends and colleagues. Oh, man! This was going to be harder than he thought. "I've given this a lot of thought. If I were…unavailable then that would probably do the trick. I would be able to turn down Closas' 'gift' without damaging any possible relationship we might have with them in the future."

Caldwell exhaled loudly. "Naturally. Are you unavailable? Your file says you're divorced."

"I am. Divorced that is. And I'm…sorta unavailable. Hopefully, it won't hurt their feelings if I turn down their 'gift'. We take them to Atlantis, Keller gives them the once-over, Woolsey debriefs them, we relocate them to a suitable planet and we're home free. Shouldn't take more than a week, ten days. Two weeks tops."

"Sounds good. So how do we do that?" Ronon interjected.

Sheppard drew in a deep breath but it was McKay who made the announcement, his voice barely above a whisper. "John and I…j-j-just got engaged."

*****

Ronon laughed so hard he dropped his weapon. It skittered under the desk after hitting McKay on the foot. The impact jolted him out of the daze he'd been in since Sheppard had revealed the favor he wanted from him. He never did get a satisfactory answer to why he'd been chosen above one of the many women on board but that didn't matter. The promise he'd made still rang in his ears. He'd lost Sheppard's trust once before and didn't want to repeat that mistake. Granted, this wasn't on the same level as the incident with Elizabeth and the Replicator nanites, but no way would he risk ruining his friendship with Sheppard. They'd been through too much in the past five years and McKay didn't have so many friends that he could afford to alienate one of them.

Caldwell, being a seasoned commander, did not allow his shock to show on his face but still coughed to cover up the small laugh that bubbled out of him before he could stop it. "When…uh…how…uh…" He couldn't complete any of the thoughts in his mind but they got the gist.

"When? Just a few minutes ago. How? Let's just say that he was in the right place at the right time." Sheppard glanced around the room. "Now…we have to make a plan, decide exactly what we're going to do and make absolutely sure we get our stories straight."

McKay shifted in his seat. He was finally showing some interest in what was going on around him. "Stories? What stories?"

"Like…how did we meet? Where did we go on our first date? How long have we been a couple? When did we get engaged? When is the wedding? Where will we go on our honeymoon? Are we even going to take a honeymoon? Will we live in Canada, the US or somewhere else when we retire? House or Condo? Left or right side of the bed? My name, your name or a combination of both? Public displays of affection-a little? A lot? None at all? Cats or dogs? Both or neither? Kids-for or against?" He paused for breath. "We need to be on the same page in case the Kardanians ask us these questions separately."

McKay, his eyes now fully focused, had powered up his tablet and began making notes, his shoulders hunched and fingers tapping faster than the eye could see. Truth be told, he was getting excited! Not in a sexual way. That would just be, he gave a mental shudder, wrong. His excitement was of the I-am-a-genius-and-the-only-one-who-can-solve-our-problems-so-get-out-of-my-way-no-talking-while-I'm-working-go-get-me-something-to-eat variety that he did so well. He grinned. In the immortal words of Dr. Frederick Frankenstein THIS! COULD! WORK!

McKay was still typing twenty minutes later. Periodically, he would chuckle, giggle or chortle to himself. Every time someone tried to ask a question he would hold up a finger for quiet or just shush them. He eventually came to a stop and looked up from the device in his hands with his patented smug "I am about to be brilliant again" smile.

"I am about to be brilliant again!"

TBC