"You lookin' fer me?" Jake lifted his head, rising up out of the relative darkness of his burrow like some horrible apparition. Rattling his Gatling-gun tail, Jake slithered forwards. "You and yer boys might wanna be a little quieter there; I heard you before I even saw or smelled you,"

The ferret's big eyes widened in shock as he jumped back, away from the huge snake. Jake slithered forward a little more. "Uhh…" the ferret swallowed loudly, clearly panicking. "Um, uh… boys! We're, uh, g-get ready, will ya!"

Jake sneered. "Welcome to the lair of the devil himself, ferret. Yer right on time, too - this Reaper's itchin' fer a soul, and five's a pretty good bargain." Rattlesnake Jake opened his mouth in a false smile to reveal his hypodermic fangs.

The ferret practically sprinted back to the relative safety of his group, who stared up at the big snake, probably thinking they'd bitten off more than they could chew, but the rats and toads snapped into action at a sharp hiss from their leader - none the better for shock himself. Jake chuckled at this sorry mess of organized assassination. "So this is it? Well, guess it's true ya can't get good help these days."

The ferret smirked - a smirk Jake decided he didn't like; it was obnoxiously snooty. "So sorry we couldn'ta run yer approval over, firsthand!" he flipped his knife in the air, catching the handle smartly. "But ya know what they say, rattlers ain't got hands!"

Jake's tongue flicked out and he smiled wickedly. "You gonna talk my ear off, 'r are you actually gonna go an' get yer money's worth o' trouble?" He tilted his head to the side. "Unless... yer havin' second thoughts,"

The ferret's nostrils flared. "No one. Calls me. Yeller." He clutched his knife even tighter and without another word, he sprang forward. Now this took Jake by surprise, but he didn't earn such a fearsome reputation by just standing idly by. He reared up, swinging his deadly tailgun around and fired off two shots: one hit the ferret, the other missed by a mite.

The ferret sank like a one-winged hawk and collapsed onto the hard rocky ground. He lay completely still. Jake bared his poisonous fangs, slightly annoyed at himself. Damned critter went too fast, better ease up. The rattler was totally for the intention of toying with these sideshow attractions.

With some altogether not-so-nice words, the toads hopped up next, ready to avenge their leader. The ugly critters fired off a round from their pistols. Jake, with his long sinuous body, easily dodged the bullets as he twisted and turned. He cackled in the silence that followed. "That all you got?" He fired off a round of his own, his deep-throated bellow chased after the toads as they scrambled for cover behind their roadrunners. That left the rats. The rough-looking rodents bared their yellowed teeth same way as Jake.

"Ya bringin' it 'r what?" Jake hissed. They did.

The rats split apart instantaneously, to surround the rattler from either side. Inwardly, Jake was pleased to see that this was taking a turn for the better. "That's it, keep it interestin' boys. This was gettin' a mite tedious." He snickered, pretending to yawn. The rats vaulted themselves into the air, guns aimed at Jake's head. Nimbly, the rattler ducked, twisted around, and brought his Gatling tail-gun up and around, smacking into both the rodent's heads. He laughed at the resounding clunks that followed.

Jake coiled up, rattling his gun and flicking his tongue out in delicious triumph. "Now that was fun an' all," he said in a mildly disappointed tone. "But next time y'all feel the need to tangle with the Reaper, go an'-!" Before he could finish, Jake felt claws digging into his scales and whipped his head back around to see that the apparently-resurrected ferret had hopped up onto him and had poised his knife, preparing to plunge it into the rattler's body!

Jake angrily slammed his body onto the ground, momentarily knocking the ferret off his back. Jake slithered up to the fallen leader - now seeing that the supposed mortal wound was nothing more than a graze of the side. He hissed and shoved the tip of his gun into the ferret's chest, eyes blazing as he coiled around him. "Now that was pretty stupid, friend. But I'm feelin' kinda merciful today, so maybe if you tell me who y'all are, I might reconsider actin' the Reaper!"

The ferret grunted stubbornly. Jake bared his fangs and demanded in a louder voice, "I suggest y'all take into consideration the deal I just made! I don't often make exceptions like this, so take the advantage, ferret!" He shoved his nose up into the ferret's face and his fiery eyes narrowed into bright red slits.

The ferret grit his teeth. "Fine, we were hired by-"

Jake knocked the ferret's hat off with his nose in one, quick upward jerk of his head. "Nuh-uh," he glowered. "Start with yer name!"

"Chip," the ferret snarled. "I'm the leader of the Outland Boys,"

Jake's eyebrows rose in some sort of recognition, or it could have been amusement. "I've heard of you. Real tough, yer supposed to be. What happened? Y'all have an off-day?" the rattler chuckled viciously. "Now, tell me, who hired you to take me out?" And who thought they would have succeeded?

There was no doubt the ferret was terrified, but he was also stubborn, and it was with immense distaste that he replied. "Some lizard,"

Jake flinched, startled by this remark. Rango wants me dead? Sure, Jake imagined the chameleon wasn't all too happy with the snake coming around every so often, but was he really the one who ordered this... or was this the work of someone else? "Describe yer boss to me!" Jake demanded in the same loud voice.

The ferret looked confused. "Why? D'yer know him?" Chip winced as his sore shoulder was squeezed against the tightening coils.

"I'm askin' the questions here, ferret!" the rattler growled. "Now answer me!"

The longer Chip stared into those eyes, the more nervous he got. He quickly searched for something to appease the angry rattler. "He's... tall, an' Mexican, I th-think."

Jake eased up on the ferret, frowning down at the quivering little figure under his nose. "Listen up, you worthless piece of fur," he snarled, his coils loosened. "If I ever, and I mean ever catch one whiff of you or yer pathetic little band in my territory again I'll be takin' yer souls down to the deepest blackest p-!" Jake was interrupted by a bullet whistling by his head. He let go of Chip and turned to face the toads and rats all aiming their weapons at him. He glanced back down at Chip who had a smug look on his face as he drew his knife. "You sure about who's going down to the black pit, Mister? Seems yer a little outnumbered. Charge!"

Le gasp! :O