Title: Out of the Ashes

Disclaimer: All characters are fictional and are not of my creation. They belong to BBC Merlin.

Warnings: This chapter features depressing topics. I hope you enjoy it! :p

Spoilers: Features spoilers from ep4 s1, ep8 s2 and ep5 s3 and a moment of déjà vu from ep1 s3 and ep3 s3.

Chapter Note: Arthur's inner struggle is more prominent in this chapter.

The Dawn of a New Day

"Time will heal all wounds, they say. And it´s true, mostly."
- Gneffer Yagunna

Arthur had a small dinner – he didn't much of an appetite – and retired early to his chambers that night. The fire in his room was lit, Arthur noticed. Arthur glanced around his bedroom with a dejected expression on his face; his bed was still unmade and his chamber was disordered – objects of all sorts, tossed angrily at the ground, lay scattered across the floor.

His room had been in this state for a few days – muddled, chaotic, and disorderly – just like his thoughts.

Arthur knew that it was childish not to allow his father to get him a new servant after Merlin was gone, but somehow it felt wrong to let someone else take Merlin's place. All of the servants treated Arthur with respect, which angered him. Perhaps he had grown too accustomed to Merlin, calling him a 'prat' or a 'clotpole' (whatever that meant) and speaking aloud what he believed, no matter what Arthurs' or anyone else's views were.

Arthur knew that he would never be able to find another servant like Merlin.

Arthur sat in his chair, deep his thoughts with his eyes closed and elbows on the table, pressed his hands against his temples.

No; he could not let this happen to Merlin. If all magic was truly bad, why had Merlin saved him – with his magic? Merlin, the bumbling idiot, could never hurt a soul. He could have killed me any time this past year and a half, but he hadn't.

He had to save Merlin.

He could at least try to make his father see reason, like he had tried and failed to when he pleaded his father to let the Druid boy go. It was better to try something rather than remain seated and twiddle his thumbs into the odd hours of the night. Maybe he could change his father's mind –

But he quickly disregarded these thoughts. He knew his father well, and when his father said something, he would never go back on his word. He had tried to talk to his father the moment Merlin was thrown into the dungeons.

But his talk didn't phase Uther one bit.

Morgana was sitting at her mirror, secretly grinning to herself. Her plan had worked well. Merlin had somehow always been there, following her, ruining her plans. It wasn't until Morgause told her about his secret that it finally made sense.

It was so easy exposing Merlin.

She did feel a little guilty exposing one of her kind, but rather that than let thousands of other just like her die. Right? Now everyone in the entire court knew of Merlin's secret, including Uther and Arthur. And with him gone, no one else would be able to stop her.

She felt invincible.

She heard a rustling sound and turned around. A person in a familiar velvety textured cloak had entered the room and was smiling at her.

"What are you doing here? Last time you were here you were nearly caught by Uther and his men," spoke Morgana as she stood up. Worry lined her voice as she spoke to her sister.

"I thought you would like a visit from me. Your plans have succeeded so far and I am pleased," she replied.

Morgana couldn't explain the joy that suddenly leapt through her heart. "I was not going to let you down... after what I had done…" she choked on her last words and thought of all the times she had failed her sister.

Both of them were startled when they heard a knock at the door. "My lady?" a timid voice called.

"Gwen." Morgana hissed in annoyance "I'll get rid of her." Morgana quickly motioned to Morgause to stand behind the door as Gwen opened it up.

"Do you need help with anything else, My Lady?" said Gwen, looking around. Everything was in order, and Morgana was already in her night clothes.

"No, I'm good right now, Gwen. That will be all," she said, look at Gwen's face. It was then that she noticed that there were circles under her tired eyes. "You should get some sleep," added Morgana as she smiled at Gwen and motioned her to the door.

"Thank you," said Gwen as she curtsied and walked out of the room, down the torch lit corridor and around the corner.

Gwen was glad that she was finally finished with Morgana because she needed to talk to Arthur.

Arthur jumped up from his chair when he heard an unexpected knock on his chamber door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Come in," Arthur said, looking up. Arthur half expected it to be Merlin; he usually came in around this time to light the fire - but it wasn't and he felt a pang of sadness run through him once more.

The door opened revealing a tired Guinevere. She slowly walked into the room and faced Arthur.

He looked at her with a perplexed expression. What is she doing here? Isn't she supposed with Morgana right now?

"I was just checking on the fire…" Gwen quickly responded, though that was not her true intention for seeing Arthur. "I lit it a while ago and I was just coming to make sure that it was still burning." Her tear filled eyes quickly avoided his as she looked down at the floor.

Arthur sensed Gwen's distress. He saw through her failed attempt to keep a straight face and her pathetic excuse and he knew he had to comfort her; he never liked to see her like this. He quickly got walked over to her and embraced her. She hugged him back and let her emotions take over as she cried in his arms.

After a few minutes of crying, she raised her head and said between the sobs that still came, "You… have to… do something… about this…."

Arthur looked at her tear strewn face, wishing that he could do something. "You know I can't," he said, his voice barely audible.

"Please… I'm begging you… I can't just... stand by and… watch him die!" her sobs grew louder, and she tried to muffle them in his chest.

He patted her on the back softly and said, "I'll try, but you know my father… once he says something, he never goes back on his word."

"I don't care…" said Gwen in a louder voice, "You… have to do… something." She pulled away from his warm embrace and looked him in the eye.

Arthur sighed. "Go get some rest, Gwen, and I will talk to my father."

"Thank… you," Gwen said, her voice still shaky from her crying.

Gwen turned around and left the room and he could still hear muffled sobs as she walked down the long corridor.

Arthur had to talk to his father. He walked briskly out of his chamber, down the torch lit corridor. He remembered all too well the day when the Goblin possessing Gaius told him Merlin's secret and he had arrested him - in this very corridor. He chuckled to himself – how stupid were he and his father? Time and time again, Merlin had revealed himself to them and somehow he would always be proven innocent. Except this time, he had preformed the magic right in front of them and that was his biggest mistake.

Arthur soon found his way to the Great Hall. Two guards opened the doors and when they saw Arthur, they let him in. His footsteps echoed off of the stone floors as he walked up to his father who was sitting at the head of the table, probably looking at important documents.

Uther looked at his son. From his hard expression, Arthur knew that this conversation would not go well.

"What is it that brings you here at this hour?" Uther asked, breaking the silence.

Arthur spoke mechanically. "I have come to talk to you about Merlin."

"What about him?" Uther said without much thought as he looked back at the papers he was working on. He remembered the day before when Arthur had tried to make him change his mind. It infuriated him Merlin, his 'most trusted ally in the fight against magic' had actually turned out to be a sorcerer himself and angered him that Arthur cared so much about him, that stupid simple servant boy.

Arthur suppressed the anger he felt towards his father at that moment. Uther was not going to make this conversation run smoothly. "He saved my life… he certainly does not deserve to be executed for what he has done." Although Arthur was trying to hide the emotion that hung in his voice, his voice betrayed him and it broke midsentence.

"He has used magic, and now he must pay the price," Uther said plainly. He'd dealt with sorcerers like this one before. They were all the same to him.

Calm down, Arthur he found himself repeating over and over again to himself.

"He's different…" Arthur paused and thought for a moment and he spoke again, choosing his words carefully, "He could have killed me numerous this past year, but he didn't. Certainly not all those who practice magic are evil." Arthur felt the rage inside of him building up and up. What had made his father hate those who used magic so much?

The King looked up at his son with anger. "You have never seen how evil magic is really is because I have eradicated those who use it." Uther's eyes were filled with hate, his words, venum. "Before the Great Purge, users of magic were evil. They used magic for their own ends. Once you know one sorcerer, you know them all." Uther's piercing eyes looked into Arthur's. He hoped that Arthur would just leave it at that.

Arthur could not contain his fury towards his father any longer. "That is not true! Do you even remember when I went out in search of the Morteaus flower? It was magic that saved me!"

"Yes," Uther said coolly, "And it was also sorcery that had almost cost you your life," Uther retorted. "I cannot afford to lose you Arthur." Uther's voice was calmer when he added in his last statement before his tone became more severe. "What has he done that has made you feel so obligated to him? He's just a simple servant boy! When he's gone, I'll just get you a new one."

"Father, he saved my life," Arthur made sure that he emphasized every single one of his words. "He does not deserve to die."

"He has broken the law! The penalty for those who use magic is death. I will have no exceptions."

"Then the law is wrong." Arthur said firmly.

"I am speaking to you as the King," his voice rose, emphasizing every one of his words. "The law is still intact, I will allow no exceptions. He is to be burned at the stake tomorrow morning. Because of your inexcusable behavior, you are not to talk to the boy or I will have you restrained. Is that clear?"

Arthur scanned his father's face. It was filled with anger, hate. It took Arthur a moment to respond.

"Yes, Sire," Arthur said with hate. What had made his father loathe those who use magic? Maybe Gaius, the King's confident, could tell him. Arthur turned and hurriedly walked out of the room; it was getting late and he wanted to ask Gaius a few questions before he went to bed.

Gaius was sitting at the table in his chambers eating his dinner alone when heard knocking at his door.

"Come in," answered Gaius whose voice was hoarse and sounded worn from the years it had been used.

Arthur entered and saw Gaius seated at a table. Unlike his own chambers, Gaius's room was neat. A fire was lit and its flames gave the warmth to the room. Arthur walked into the room and sat down on the bench opposite of Gaius's.

Arthur hesitantly looked at Gaius who looked like he had gotten several years older within just a few days. The wrinkles on his face were more prominent, and he had huge, dark bags under his eyes.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, Gaius… I'd just like a question answered," Arthur began, uncertainly.

Gaius didn't look up from the soup he was eating. Once he finished another spoonful, he responded to Arthur in a tired tone.

"Is it about Merlin?" Gaius asked, and his voice broke on Merlin's name.

"No…well… sort of," Arthur stuttered, "I would just like to understand…. Why does my father hate magic so much? He's always told me that people who used magic were evil, but I definitely see no evil in Merlin. What has made his so fearful of it?"

Gaius looked up at Arthur. His aged face was furrowed sadness. Gaius pondered Arthurs question for a moment as he decided the best way to answer it. Gaius remembered the promise he made to the King about never letting Arthur know the true circumstances of his birth. But it made no difference now- Merlin was going to die, and the great destiny, along with him.

"First, please swear to me that you will not do anything rash or tell anyone about this conversation after I have answered your question." His weary eyes looked into Arthur's with intensity.

"I swear that I won't," replied Arthur, with uncertainty.

Gaius kept a close eye on Arthur's emotions as he started to answer his question. "Do you remember the time when you almost killed you father, but Merlin stopped you?"

The day he almost killed his father was not easily forgotten. "Yes… Yes I do." Arthur thought back to that painful day. "He told me then that the images that I saw were only created by Morgause, the sorceress."

"Yes, but that was not true." Gaius looked at Arthur's expression. Arthur's puzzled face froze in its tracks.

"He lied to me." Arthur felt betrayed.

Gaius sensed that Arthur was extremely disturbed and quickly replied, "He was trying to protect you."

"He should not have lied to me." Arthur's voice rose. How could Merlin, of all the people in the world, lie to him? He trusted him…

"He only said that to protect you. He knew that you would never forgive yourself if you killed your father. That was only why he told you that."

Arthur heard the wisdom in Gaius's words and saw the truth in them. He listened to his next words intently.

Gaius continued: "Your mother, Ygraine, could not conceive a child. Although Uther loved her dearly, he knew he had to have an heir."

Gaius made sure that he left out the part where Uther conceived a child, Morgana, with Viviane.

"Desperate times called upon desperate measures, and Uther called upon his most trusted adviser, Nimueh. Nimueh was a High Priestess of the Old Religion. She used very powerful magic so Ygraine could conceive. Uther did not know the consequences, however. The rule of the Old Religion states that for a life to be created a life must be taken. Nimueh didn't want to upset Uther with this knowledge, so she left soon after she preformed the magic.

"Ygraine was getting weaker and paler by the day. When she gave birth to you, she was near death. She only lasted long enough to name you as she died with you still in her arms.

"Uther's heart was broken. His only love was now dead. He asked several other sorcerers what the cause of her death had been and they told him all told him it was by magic. They then told him the rule of the Old Religion. Uther was furious that Nimueh had not told him this. He wanted to make her pay; he wanted to eradicate every sorcerer in his kingdom to avenge his dear wife's death. That was when the Great Purge started."

As Gaius finished speaking, he continued to look at Arthur. Arthur expression was that of confusion. He was angry at his father for being such a hypocrite and at the same time he was sympathetic towards him. His father had begun killing sorcerers out of a broken heart.

And that was what had set him apart from his father. Unlike Uther, Arthur would never let his anger – his fury – blind him from all reason, from seeing the truth. Uther's anger towards the sorceress, Nimueh, had increased throughout the years as his hate of magic was fed by sorcerers who attempted to harm the kingdom. Arthur remembered what his father had told him earlier that day – Once you know one sorcerer, you know them all – but that simply was not true. Arthur sat there, pensively, and probably would have continued to sit there had Gaius not spoken up.

"It's late now Arthur. You need some sleep," he spoke kindly.

Arthur directed his attention back to the present.

"Oh, yes…Thank you, Gaius… I really appreciate you telling me this."

Gaius nodded and went back to eating his dinner.

Arthur stood up and made his way back to his chambers. He went to bed and soon sleep came over his troubled mind.

A bright light shown through the cell's window on his sleeping face.

It woke him.

He sat up, leaned against the cold stone wall and stared at the straw covered ground. His stomach rumbled – he hadn't had a good meal in a few days.

He glanced at the sunlight that poured into his cell through the bared window and thought back to the conversation he and Gaius had had the night before, the first night he laid there.

-Beginning of Flashback-

Merlin heard footsteps approaching his cell. He froze out of fear, but relaxed when he heard the comforting voice of Gaius.

"Hello, Merlin…"

Merlin looked at Gaius.

"I was set up."

"What are you talking about, Merlin?"

"The dagger… It bared the sigil of the Blood Guard…I was set up...Morgana and Morgause wanted me to be seen in front of the entire court using magic. It was a test…"

With that, Merlin turned his head towards the moonlight that shone through the bared window and continued to stare at it in a daze-like state. "Isn't the moon beautiful tonight? Tomorrow it will be full."

Gaius looked at Merlin with disbelief.

It was a few moments until Merlin broke the silence. His gaze fell upon Gaius. "She wanted me to kill him," his voice broke.

Gaius asked pleadingly, "Why, Merlin… Why you have you not tried to escape?"

Gaius knew full well what Merlin was capable of. He knew that Merlin had escaped from the dungeon before; what had him confused was why Merlin hadn't tried to escape this time.

Merlin eyes lowered from Gaius's and he bowed his head. His eyes wandered off into a corner of the cell. He responded and spoke the words softly, as if he didn't believe them himself.

"Why should I? Camelot is my home. It was my destiny to protect Arthur and now I have failed him. If Arthur hasn't come, then I know that he has not accepted who I am…"

Gaius's eyes filled with tears, but he held them back, knowing that they would only make it harder for him.

"Gaius, I have to face the consequences." Merlin eyes shifted back to Gaius's. The young warlock looked up, straight into Gaius's tear-filled eyes and his face lined with sadness.

-End of Flashback-

Yes, and that was his problem - Camelot had become his home and now he felt no need to escape his fate. The young warlock thought about Arthur. If Arthur didn't accept who he was, then they would not be able to work together side by side like their great destiny had foretold and Albion would never be born.

He had not seen Arthur since the incident and he was to be executed that morning.

What's keeping him? Is he afraid of me? Angry?

The warlock closed his eyes and took in a long inhale of oxygen. It was painful for Merlin to know that he was the cause of this. If Merlin had listened to the Great Dragon, this would never have happened.

He should have let her die.

But his young mind could not grasp this thought. It felt wrong to let a friend die. And yes, she was still his friend. Deep down in her stone heart he knew that a small part of the old Morgana still lingered. He had just hoped that the old Morgana would come back. But it hadn't, and now, he doubted it ever would.

Merlin heard boots hitting the stone floor, approaching his cell. He heard a key unlock the cell that held him prisoner and he opened his tired eyes.

Arthur?

Now you understand what lead up to the event that forced Merlin to use his magic to save Arthur. Quite symbolic, wouldn't you say?

If you don't here's what it alluded to: Merlin saved Arthur from the knife that Mary Collins threw at him from the first time Merlin saved Arthur, and that was what brought them together. In this situation, however, it's another person who threw a knife, but Merlin had to save Arthur in front of the entire court. The same thing practically happened, but the result was different; Merlin was caught and tried for treason this time. Now do you get the sentences - "It was so ironic; what had brought them together had now broken them apart. It was a perfect moment of déjà vu."?

The man who threw the knife was just a set up so that Merlin would be forced to reveal his magic in order to save Arthur.