To Be Needed

by Grace brings Hope

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize does not belong to me.

Pain is Relative

Everyday I watch as time passes. I walk through the old park and past the arcade. Do you remember those places, Mamo-chan? Those were ours.

I look at all the happy couples and my heart constantly aches. That sense of longing has never left me and I hope that somehow you feel it too.

But of course that is not the case. You and the girls have not felt the longing to be needed since Chaos was put away. Everyone is happy living their own lives and we hardly see each other anymore. The only times that we see each other are on those accidental occasions. Running into you and Rei at the arcade was never planned. I would have hurt too much to plan to see you two at the same time.

Come to think of it, where is everyone?

I know Ami left long ago to pursue her dream of being a doctor. She went to Kyushu for medical school 2 years ago and I haven't heard from her since. Makoto talked about her dream of being a world-renowned chef but it has been 5 years since I have heard from her. Minako left years ago to become a pop idol and from the billboards I've seen, I would say she is doing very well. Hotaru left with Michiru and Haruka for a musical tour some odd years ago and I haven't heard from them since. The only one I actually talk to is Setsuna on occasion. She comes and visits me every once in awhile to make sure I'm fine ever since my family passed away.

And me? I haven't seemed to be able to move on. It has been ten years since Chaos was defeated. Soon after, my family died in a car accident leaving me behind. I never told anyone because they were so happy to be normal again that I just couldn't put my burdens on them. But, eight days later, my prince broke my heart. He didn't love me. I knew that but I always held a hope. So now the long forgotten promise ring sits on a necklace underneath my shirt in fear that someone would recognize it and ask a question that I didn't dare answer.

And so after that, I became a shadow. I didn't care anymore. I was so hurt that I was numb. I lived behind a mask but slowly I faded from existence. But with the pain came the consequences.

And that is where my problem began.

Due to the fact I was walking puppet, everything I did was careless. I would walk in the rain with nothing more than a shirt and skirt on and never care that I was getting sick. Why would it matter? Setsuna was the only who bothered to check on me anyways, but even then it was scarce. If I died, no one would care. There is no future to look forward to. I am virtually alone.

While I was pondering my thoughts, I was cutting a tomato for the salad that I was supposed to eat. But as my thoughts drifted further, I slipped and the knife slit my hand. I winced instantly expecting pain, but instead, a sense of serenity came upon me.

The blood trickled down my arm filling a sense of longing that I never knew was there. I felt alive for the first time in years. It was a feeling that I never wanted to forget.

That was 5 years ago, and I have never let that feeling fade.