2. Fallen
He finds her in the practice room after school. Big surprise there. She's sitting at the piano, her fingers glide over the keys with practiced ease as she sings almost effortlessly.
"Heaven bent to take my hand Though I've tried, I've fallen
Nowhere else to turn
I've lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I've known
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don' t see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem to be a way to be redeemed
I've sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So, don't come around here
And tell me I told you so"
He'd be the first to admit that despite the fact that Rachel Berry was all kinds of crazy, she sure could sing. And he had no doubt that one day this girl was going to be some big star on Broadway. He was certain of it, about as certain as he was of the fact that his own Lima Loser status had been pretty much cemented.
There was a time, a short time, where he'd almost thought that he had a future, that he could be something outside of this loser town. Ironically, it was when he and Rachel had started- whatever it was that they had started.
She just had this way of making him believe in himself, pushing him to strive further than he thought he ever could. She made him make the tough choices instead of taking the easy way out. Which is why it was almost fitting when she broke things off with him, saying that she hoped he hadn't chosen Glee over football because of her. Why the fuck would he have otherwise?
And in typical Puck fashion, he'd lashed out, telling her that he was going to break up with her anyway, but that had been a bold faced lie and she knew it too. The truth is that he was actually kind of beginning to like her. Sure, the whole time they were together, she never shut up, not even for a second and she was bossy and most of the time he still felt like lighting himself on fire.
But then there are other things about her too. Like the fact that she's hot in her own crazy, freakish way. For example, those short skirts and knee socks she always wears, a total turn on. It's a cross between naughty school girl and prim and proper librarian, and what teenage boy hasn't had that fantasy. And of course, there is the fact that she is super talented and the Glee Club probably wouldn't have won Sectionals without her. So, yeah, you could almost say that he was sort of starting to like her. Almost. Sort of. Starting.
The thing is she isn't like any of the other high school girls; in fact, she's unlike any girl he's ever met before. She's driven and confident and doesn't care what people think. If he's being honest, she intimidates him more than he will ever admit aloud. And maybe that's why he's such a jerk to her most of the time. He doesn't mean to be, he just is. It's a natural talent.
She's the only person that probably doesn't hate him right now. On second thought, she might actually hate him now too, considering his none too kind words to her on the bleachers earlier this week. What can he say? He could be a real asshole when he wanted to be, which is pretty much all the time. But despite that she'd tried to be his friend when, let's face it, he was in short supply of them. And beggars can't be choosers, right? Well apparently they can, because he'd thrown her friendship back in her face and she hadn't attempted again since then. He doesn't blame her.
It's the oddest thing. The more that he tries to convince himself that he doesn't need anyone, least of all Rachel Berry, the more he finds himself thinking that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Not that it meant that they would become best buddies or anything, but maybe it would be nice to have someone to talk to, if she could manage to shut up long enough to listen, that is. And if he got her to make out with him in process then that would be a total bonus because if he hasn't mentioned it before, they were two good looking Jews and it was only natural.
He steps further into the room, making his presence known as she finishes the song and she looks up in surprise. It was just like her to be so immersed in the music to not notice anything else around her. He kind of liked that about her, that she could be so passionate about something. He wonders if he'll ever find anything to be so passionate about.
"Hey." He mutters.
"Noah, what are you doing here?" Staring back.
She's the only person who calls him Noah, aside from his mother and his sister. He's never thought of correcting her. And he's not exactly sure why.
He shrugs a little.
She begins to gather up the papers of sheet music. "Well, I'm done here, so if you wanted to use the room..." Sliding the papers into her backpack before zipping it up and slinging it over her shoulder.
He steps forward, blocking her path as she attempts to flee the room and she looks up questioningly.
"Was there something you wanted, Noah?"
He sighs. "I've been thinking about what you said to me on the bleachers." She nods. "And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we're friends or that I want to be friends or anything like that."
Her brow furrows and she gives him a scrutinizing look. "Then what are you saying?"
He runs a hand over his mohawk in frustration. "I don't know." He grounds out.
She rolls her eyes. "Well, when you do figure it out, I'm sure you'll let me know." She steps around him to walk towards the exit.
"Berry, wait!" He spins around and she turns around to face him. "I guess..." He pauses then shakes his head. Why was it so utterly frustrating talking to this girl sometimes? "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it wouldn't totally suck if... well if I had someone to talk to or not talk to sometimes." He blurts out.
"And that someone would be me?" She inquires, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"Well, I don't see anyone else around, do you?" He snaps. "And you're the one who offered in the first place."
She crosses her arms. "And as I recall, you called me a loser and crazy and in need of medication." She says haughtily.
He stares back at her. "Yeah, so... what? Is that a no?" He asks bluntly, growing frustrated by the second. "Look, if you've changed your mind, that's fine, just say so."
She stares back at him, her lips pursing in thought and his jaw clenches angrily. He was such an idiot for coming here. What the fuck was he thinking? He didn't need Rachel Berry. He didn't need anyone.
"Just forget it, okay!" He brushes past her angrily.
"Noah!" She calls out to him just as he reaches the door and he's tempted to just walk out, but he finds himself hesitating.
"What?!"
"I meant what I said on the bleachers." Quietly.
He turns around to look at her. "Yeah?" Skeptically.
She nods. "Yeah. So, if you ever want to talk or not to talk, as the case may be, I'm here."
He thinks about it and then sighs. "Okay then. Maybe I'll take you up on that sometime." He mutters in a noncommital way.
"Okay." She agrees.
They stand there for a moment, uncomfortable and silent, and then she finally makes a move to leave.
"Look, I'm... I'm sorry." He looks at her and she stares back at him uncertainly. "About what I said. You know, that you were a loser and crazy and in need of medication." She smiles a little. "But you kind of are, you know?" He adds and her smile falters and he realizes that he needs to talk fast because he'd just stuck his foot in his mouth. "Not the loser part, but the crazy part." He quickly clarifies and then inwardly cringes, realizing that it doesn't sound much better.
She smirks. "Yeah, and you're a jerk. We all have our pitfalls." She quips.
He chuckles lightly.
Another moment of silence passes and he shoves his hands into his pockets, taking a breath. "So, you need a ride or anything?"
She looks up at him in surprise. "Yeah, actually that would be nice." She replies. "Normally, I wouldn't require a ride, but my car is in the shop and I've been taking the bus these past couple days, and although I'm sure that it is a fine form of transportation for most individuals, it just isn't for me." She says, taking a breath.
The words swarm his head, a jumble of nouns and vowels and adjectives that he tries desperately to keep up with. This is the point he usually tunes her out, but oddly he finds himself actually listening to the string of nonsensical yammering.
"I mean, I realize that everyone should be conscious of their carbon foot printing, but I drive a Prius and that is much more environmentally friendly than whatever gas guzzling vehicle that most drive, don't you think?" She looks at him.
He opens his mouth to respond, but then she continues on and his head begins to spin because she's talking even faster and he's lost track of what this was all supposed to be about in the first place.
"And come to think of it, I'm sure my car emits far less toxic emissions than what a bus would on average, so it actually makes more sense-"
"Berry!" He interrupts. "A simple yes, would have been enough."
She smiles. "Yes, Noah, I would appreciate a ride home."
He takes a breath. "Well, alright then. Let's go." He walks towards the door.
He holds the door open for her and she walks through it, brushing past him through the doorway.
"Just so we're clear, this doesn't mean that we're friends." He says as they walk down the hall together.
"Of course not." A smile playing across her lips.
TBC...
Song Credit: Sara McLachlan - Fallen
Thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate it. I'm going to try to update a few times a week, and I don't expect it to be too long of a fic (max 10-12 chapters).
I figured I'd just quickly touch on the use of songs in this fic. I'm not a big fan of song fics and I tend to ignore the lyrics and just read the fic. So, it's ironic that I would actually use songs in this fic. But for some reason, I felt that with this being a fic in the Glee fandom, using songs just seemed fitting. The lyrics are simply meant to set the mood to the chapter and some chapters might have the song directly incoporated in, like Rachel singing in this one. That being said, it's not necessary to read the lyrics to understand the chapter.
Once again, thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading!