A/N: Thank you all for a lovely response! I should say that my intention is to go in a slightly untapped direction, but I hope to stay true to Edith and Anthony (among others) in modern times. This will be a less family-centric fic, and after this chapter will take place largely in the workplace and home, where we may meet some familiar faces. :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Update: Thanks for the tips and helpful info, all! The Sir-thing was indeed intentional. I may live in the States but I didn't always. :) I went ahead and revised to avoid any further confusion. Thanks for looking out for me, though!
xoxo
Eleanor
The three-hour drive from London to Yorkshire was prolonged even more by Edith's frequent need for Anthony to pull over so she might be sick. Every time she would apologize profusely, and every time he would say there was no need. "I'm only sorry you're having such a hard time with it," he said, handing Edith a bottle of water and rubbing her back.
"It's really a small sacrifice in the grand scheme," she insisted, managing a small but sincere smile.
Anthony watched her curiously. She was a touch paler than usual, but it didn't make her any less striking. Edith's beauty was a natural and unusual sort, and Anthony knew that, like fine artwork, not everyone had the eye to fully appreciate it. Her dark, dark eyes were bright and deep, framed by long, soft lashes. Her hair, a strawberry sort of blonde, had a natural wave that Edith didn't fight but didn't encourage. Always brushing against her elegant jaw, Anthony often had the urge to tuck it behind one of her ears.
Edith dressed in a way Anthony appreciated too, reflecting her practical and sophisticated nature. Often slacks or dark jeans were paired with basic tee-shirts or feminine blouses and what Edith called 'boyfriend sweaters.' She had a seemingly infinite supply of patterned scarves and petite flats, and one navy blazer Anthony knew she was particularly fond of.
"Have you always wanted to be a mother?" he asked, chiding himself for dwelling at all on Edith Crawley's appearance and pulling the car back onto the road.
"I think so, yes. I mean, deep down I think it was always there, but I didn't realize how badly I wanted it until I started growing up. And then when the doctor said I was running out of time, I knew it was the only thing I ever really wanted."
"Funny how that happens, you never realize what you want until you nearly lose it," Anthony mused. "Curious that we're always so blind to what's right before us."
Edith watched him with narrowed eyes as he pulled the Land Rover around another bend. She wondered what he meant, hoping for a moment that perhaps he was trying to reveal something to her. But then they passed the familiar stone walls outside Downton Church, and she knew they were nearing her parents' home. Nerves overcame her and all other, more whimsical or romantic thoughts were pushed aside.
"You're looking rather pale again, do we need to stop?" Anthony asked.
Edith released a hysterical little laugh and shook her head. "No, no. It's just sinking in exactly what I've come to do, what I've got to tell them, and I'm… well I'm terrified, actually."
"You won't have to do it alone, at least," Anthony offered. It was a strange position for him. He felt an impulse to be responsible, to make an "honest woman" of Edith, as though he had done something by mistake. In reality they had acted according to Edith's deliberate and methodical plan. It felt like they were driving to a shotgun wedding, when Edith was actually getting exactly what she wanted, and that did not include Anthony.
"Why do you look so sad?" she asked suddenly, causing Anthony to flinch slightly.
"Sad? Not in the least. A bit nervous, I suppose. Again, this is just very unfamiliar territory."
"I know. I feel like I'm a teenager again and I'm going to be in trouble. But Anthony, I'm twenty-seven years old, I've made a decision and I have a plan, and I'm perfectly capable. It'll be fine."
Knowing Edith was telling herself as much as him, Anthony nodded and gave her a reassuring smile.
"The drive is there, on the left," she said a few minutes later. An open cast iron gate between two large stone columns marked a long and well-manicured drive that seemed to go on for a mile.
"You grew up here?" Anthony asked.
"Yeah, it was a real fairytale," Edith said sarcastically. She leaned forward with a sharp breath, he noticed, when they came around a final bend and the great house came into view.
The Abbey, or as it was affectionately known in the village, 'the Castle,' was a huge stone building with great turrets surrounded by sprawling lawns. Anthony was well aware that Edith was part of the Earldom of Grantham. Her father was the sixteenth in a long line of Lords, all Crawleys. She refused to play into what she called 'bollox.' "Why should it matter to me?" she had once asked him, "I won't inherit the title anyway, just like I didn't inherit the attitude, the refinement, or the fine Crawley nose."
Anthony pulled the Land Rover to stop in the round gravel drive, and they both peered out across the frozen yards.
"Mary and Matthew-married two years, not supposed to talk about the fact that they're cousins, no matter how distant. Tom and Sybil-married six months, not supposed to talk about runaway weddings or Ireland in general. Robert-fond of sports and his investments, don't mention politics, Cora-American, Granny-avoid if possible. Did I miss anyone?"
Anthony had rambled the list while he stared absently at the landscape.
Edith laughed through her nose, as charmed by his memory as she was dreading the next several hours. "Don't forget Isis the dog and Papa's one true love."
Anthony smiled nervously at her, his Edith. Though when he started thinking of her as 'his' he wasn't sure.
"Are you ready?" Anthony asked gently.
"I know I've made the right decision," was Edith's reply, fierce and determined as ever.
"Have I told you yet how incredibly brave I think you are?" Anthony wondered, almost in a whisper. Edith turned to him, lips trembling.
"Thank you for saying that, even if you don't mean it."
"But I do mean it."
"I don't feel very brave at the moment," she muttered with a sad grin.
"It'll be alright. Putting it off won't make it any easier."
"Thank you," she said as he moved to get out. Taking his arm to stop him she said again, more pointedly. "Thank you. For everything."
The Crawleys were gracious and well-practiced hosts. Anthony was welcomed first by Cora with a formal kiss on the cheek. "Do come in," she smiled. "I'm so, so glad you could join us. Edith says you don't have family?"
Edith rolled her eyes. "Mama, honestly," she hissed.
"It's quite alright," Anthony offered. "Thank you for having me."
Robert stepped up then, offering a hand. "You're very, very welcome Anthony. Come, maybe you can settle a debate between my sons-in-law and myself. Tell me, are you a football fan?"
Anthony looked over his shoulder as he was ushered away with the boys. Edith offered a sympathetic smile before her sisters had her.
"How's work? How's London? Is it terribly exciting living in town?" Sybil asked quickly.
"Are you still single?" Mary asked coolly.
Edith felt her stomach turn again, though whether it was the pregnancy or the familiar stress of being home she couldn't quite tell.
An hour later, when they gathered for dinner, Edith managed to pull Anthony aside. "Sorry about that. Did you survive alright?"
"Indeed. Matthew and Tom are incredibly nice chaps. I may or may not have tentatively hired Matthew as our new PR man. We'll hash it out later."
"Really? And Papa?"
"I just agreed with everything he said. We seemed to get on well enough."
Edith laughed. "Now you know why he and I fight so much. I never did have a talent for agreeing with Papa."
"Well, hate to be the bearer of bad news, old girl, but the worst is yet to come."
"And I'm not even allowed to drink," Edith carped with a smile before Cora was urging them into the dining room.
The bread pudding and treacle tart were being passed. Robert was chatting with Matthew about cricket, Sybil and Mary were discussing the latest gossip, Tom was yet again refusing Cora's pleas to move to the great house with them, and Granny was politely but blatantly grilling Anthony about all his personal details.
"I have an announcement to make," Edith said timidly. When no one but Anthony looked up, she said again, "Pardon the interruption, I just want to say a quick word." Still she went unheeded. Anthony cleared his throat uncomfortably, wondering when it was appropriate to step in. He found himself annoyed that she was given no mind.
"I'm going to have a baby," Edith nearly shouted.
The table went silent as all eyes slowly traveled to Edith. Anthony would not have blamed her if she had balked under such scrutiny, but Edith held her chin up, one eyebrow raised defiantly.
"Do you mean sometime in the future you plan on having a baby, or like, you're pregnant now?" Mary asked.
"I'm pregnant, due in August," Edith said with an optimistic nod.
"Edith, I didn't know you were seeing anyone," Cora said in a breathless, screeching voice. Several pairs of eyes traveled tentatively to Anthony, though no one spoke their suppositions if any were had.
"I'm not. I've been having some problems, and the doctor said that if I wanted to have children now was the time, so I said okay, I'll have a baby."
"Just like that?" Robert asked incredulously.
"Well I did think about it, a lot, and I realized I couldn't not be a mother. I want a baby desperately, so I decided to have one."
"Forgive me, it's been a while, but I seem to remember that making a baby requires two people," Violet chimed in, sipping casually at her wine.
To this Edith did blush slightly, though Anthony was the only one to notice. "Well, yes, and traditionally I would have met the man of my dreams, fallen in love, gotten married, and so on. But I didn't have that kind of time, so I used a donor."
"Good god, a donor?" Robert coughed. There was a general outcry of disapproval.
"Edith, you're having a stranger's baby?" Cora asked emotionally.
"No, I realized I didn't want so many questions unanswered, so I asked a very dear friend. He is terribly intelligent, kind, good, handsome, tall, has no genetic history of disease or mental illness, and he's brilliantly funny."
It was Anthony's turn to blush. He stared at the napkin in his lap for a moment, unable or unwilling to look at Edith, though he felt her eyes fall on him.
"Well, do put us out of our misery, do we know the man that would be the father of this baby?" Robert asked, his tone as sarcastic as it was hostile.
"Yes, it's Anthony," Edith chirped with a satisfied little grin.
When all the Crawleys looked from Edith to Anthony, he felt every muscle in him go tense. How Edith had managed it just minutes ago with such grace baffled him.
"I, that is, we, well Edith asked if I" Anthony stuttered, feeling like a school boy caught by the truancy officer.
"You two are together?" Robert boomed, throwing his napkin on the table.
"No, we're just friends. Anthony has done me a great favor, and I wanted you all to meet him just so you know where your grandchild and niece or nephew came from."
"This is, without a doubt, the strangest thing I've ever heard," Violet mused, now eyeing Anthony conspicuously.
"Surely stranger things happen every day," Edith sighed, slouching in her chair slightly and absently folding her hands against her flat stomach. "Anyway, I'm terribly, terribly happy. And only a bit queasy, thank you for asking."
"I think it's brilliant," Sybil offered, beaming at Edith across the table.
"Really?" Edith asked quietly, softening her defenses a touch at her little sister's encouragement.
"Absolutely," Sybil replied, nodding slowly. "I don't see anything wrong with a woman taking charge of her life and doing something on her own."
"This isn't one of your causes, Sybil. She's having a baby," Mary snipped.
"Well I'm still a little confused," Cora said. "I mean, who's going to be responsible for this baby? What's Mr. Strallan's involvement going to be, exactly?"
"It's Sir, actually" Edith said pointedly, knowing the title would mean something to them, "is not 'responsible' for anything. He's done me a favor is all. I'm the mother, and I'm perfectly capable of doing it on my own."
"Do you realize how selfish you sound?" Mary gasped. "Have you thought about the life your baby will have?"
"A very good one, full of love," Edith replied.
"If I may," Anthony interjected, finally finding his voice, "Edith doesn't take anything lightly, and she especially didn't take this as such. I have every faith in her ability as a mother."
"Will you be the father? Or just 'the donor' to the baby?" Matthew asked, more out of curiosity than criticism. Anthony opened his mouth to speak, but Edith blurted out an answer for him.
"Stop making Anthony uncomfortable. Look," she sighed, standing up. "I'm very, very happy and I thought you all had the right to know. And now you do. So if you decide to come around and be positive and helpful, you know where to reach me. In the meantime, I'm tired, and nauseous, and I'd like to go home."
Anthony stood as well, rather caught in the middle. His ingrained social propriety told him he was being a bad guest, but the way Edith looked up at him, so full of question and fear and need, he realized he would have walked out on the Queen herself to take Edith's side.
"You're going to drive the three hours back to London right now? I thought you were staying the night," Cora said, maternal concern for their immediate safety outweighing concern over Edith's news.
"I think we'll risk it, thank you," Edith said. She took their things from the table in the grand foyer and Anthony followed helplessly into the cold night.
They didn't speak. Anthony put his coat over Edith's lap when they first got in to protect from the chill that had settled over the car. By the time the heater had kicked in and the car had warmed up, Edith was asleep.
"Edie, sweetheart, we're here," Anthony said softly, patting Edith's shoulder. She woke slowly, frowning slightly as she got her bearings.
"I slept the whole way? I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. You obviously needed it." After a moment, as she sat up and gathered her purse in her lap, Anthony asked, "You alright to stay here on your own?"
Edith smiled. "I'm used to doing things on my own. And I'm used to my family. I'm fine. I am sorry if they made you uncomfortable, though."
"They didn't. They'll come around."
"Maybe," she sighed with a shrug. Opening the door she turned back to Anthony. "It's still Christmas. No sense in being alone. Want to come over tomorrow?"
"Brunch?"
"Yeah. Happy Christmas, Anthony."
"Happy Christmas, Edith." Anthony watched as Edith made her way into her building, and assured the door was shut and she was safely inside before pulling away.