...but he's my brother

chapter 2

a/n: see...when you review i DO post sooner. lol. those of you who reviewed, thanks! this chapter is for y'all and I hope you like it. Please make me happy and review...i write faster when im happy.

"Ellen."

"Dean? Is that you?" Ellen was all nerves after Sam's call and she would be dammed if she wasn't going to find out what the hell was going on. And right now all she wanted to hear was that those boys had got into another stupid argument and fought like the immature men that they had the capacity to be--and in all honesty, often were.

"Yeah, its me."

Dean's tone worried her. He sounded gruff and his voice was scratchy, as if he was holding back tears or if he'd been crying. Dean was like John in that aspect and had mastered the art of covering up his emotions--except when it came to Sam, and then he was just hopeless--so she didn't bother to ask him, she knew he probably wouldn't give him a straight answer anyway.

"Dean, what's goin' on? I just talked to Sam and--"

"Sam?" Dean perked up at the mention of his brother. "Is he okay?"

Ellen ignored his question. She wanted to know what the hell was going on first.

"What's going on, Dean?"

Dean knew she wouldn't tell him anything so he told her the truth. What was the point in hiding it anymore? Sam already knew, and the point of that was to protect him…look how that worked out; it was all f-ed right up to hell.

"My bill's come due."

Ellen was speechless. They all knew about Dean's deal but none of them--except maybe Bobby--had know that it was so close. She cursed him for leaving her out of the loop, he knew how much that kind of crap pissed her off.

Ellen had realized the seriousness of it in the back of her mind but still, she was sure that it wouldn't happen. She didn't want it to happen and right now she would give anything for Ash. She had a feeling that if Ash was alive he'd be the one person who would know the loophole to get Dean out of this.

"I had to leave him Ellen." Dean continued, his voice breaking a bit as he spoke, "You gotta understand; it'd kill Sam to watch. Sam…Ellen, he died in my arms and it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life…I wanted to die. I just wanted the pain to stop, it was tearing me apart…the image just kept replaying in my head over and over…I don't want that for Sam."

Ellen's heart broke for him. Dean had devoted his entire life to taking care of his family. Even before she'd met him, from the stories John had told her…Dean had always been mature in plenty ways beyond his years--he didn't deserve this. If you asked her, John had been wrong to put the kind of pressure on Dean that he did. For heaven's sake, telling that poor boy, from the time he was a kid…it just wasn't right. Although, his last stunt definitely took the cake; telling him that he might have to kill Sam, that was defnitly the low in her book for John Winchester. That boy--both of them--deserved a break, the universe sure as hell owed them one. She had lost her husband, and as painful as that was…she couldn't imagine the kind of pain that Dean went through; Knowing that you had no one left, that you were completely alone…

"Dean, I understand that you're looking out for your brother, I do; but don't you think that this is the kind of choice you should let Sam make?"

"No!" Dean practically growled in frustration. Why did everyone have to make it into such a bad thing that he wanted to look out for Sammy, spare him the kind of pain that he'd suffered? "Ellen, I can't. Please, you have to understand; I have to look out for Sammy and this is the only way I know how to do it."

"Okay," Ellen sighed, not liking this one bit. "But Sam, he's determined to track you down. I think he's more like your dad than any of you realize--same damn stubborn streak…"

"Hey, I-I know." Dean said, "And that's why I need you to do this favor for me."

"Whatever you need I'm here, Dean." Ellen said, it was about damn time he asked somebody for help. Doing everything on his own, the way he had been, it was tearing him apart--he mightn't of wanted to admit it but he needed help. "You and your brother, you're family."

"Can you--can you look out for Sam?" Dean felt a lump rise up in his throat as he thought of his brother again. Dean tried to ignore it and was glad when Ellen spoke, giving him moment to try and get his emotions under control.

"Of course we will. We'll all be looking after him, Dean. You don't have to worry about Sam."

"I don't know how not to." Dean was honest with her, speaking over the lump in is throat that made his voice shake. "My whole life, everything, its always been about Sam. Protecting him, watching over him--its all I know."

As he spoke Ellen couldn't help but to be angry with John. The pressure he'd put on that boy, everything, it was a wonder Dean hadn't broken down. That poor boy was more guarded and strong than any kid his age had any right to be.

"My dad, he drummed it right into my head. Watch out for Sammy, it's your job Dean, keep him safe. He didn't have to tell me I just did it."

"Sam knows that Dean, that's why he wants to be with you, try to help you; look after you the same way that you've looked after him all these years"

"Did I ever tell you what my dad told me before he died?" Dean needed to get all of this off his chest while he could. "He told me that if I couldn't save Sam, that I'd have to kill him. I hated him for it, you know. I never hated my dad before that but in that moment and the months after he died I had that swimming around in my head constantly--I hated him for doing that, for telling me I had to do that. For the pressure and the doubt--making Sam think that he had this great evil destiny…it nearly killed him…I hated him for that."

"Dean, I promise you, me, Jo, Bobby…we'll watch out for Sam."

"Make sure he knows it isn't his fault. Sam blames himself for everything and I won't have him putting this on himself too. It was my choice and if I needed to I'd do it again, I would. He needs to know that, Ellen."

"Have you told your brother this, Dean?"

"I wrote him a letter. I think he's too pissed with me too really read it…I don't think he understands, not yet."

Ellen's heart broke for the boys. They didn't deserve the crappy hand that they'd been dealt and it was damn past the time for the world to cut them a break.

"And Ellen? I know I've ignored this but…whatever happened between my dad and your husband I'm sorry, I really am. I wish it never happened but…Please, can you--you'll let Jo know right?"

0000000000000

"Hi there Sammy."

Sam jumped at the sound of a female voice coming from inside the Impala. He nearly swerved into the wall when he turned to the right, to the passenger's seat and saw her.

"YOU!" Sam was nearly speechless was fury, as he stared at Cassia--the demon from the crossroads.

"I'd drive it more careful if I was you, sugar. You wouldn't want Dean's great big sacrifice to be for nothing."

"You bitch! I should send you straight back to hell."

"Oooo…you should."

Sam reached into his pocket for the salt gun that he had grabbed before running out of the motel but before he could shoot her she got him first; smashing his head into the wheel with just enough force to knock him out.

"But you're not." Cassia grazed her lips across his cheek, as she spoke. "Don't take it personally. I just don't trust your brother; and a girl has to look out for her interests."

oh boy...isn't that interesting?

tell me what you think, and I'll get chapter three up asap if you're all good little reviewers...otherwise i might feel possesed to fill my little free time with some extra credit for calculus...im begging you don't make me succumb to that...please review and save me from calc.