Iceland sneaked to his bedroom and stared at the ceiling. He still could taste the pie in his mouth and it made his stomach grumble. He hated it, he had been doing so good and it couldn't end with him eating what was in his pockets, not only that would be disgusting since it was already chewed, but also, it was a lot of sugar. He took the used napkins and put them inside a plastic bag and hid it to throw it away later.

He heard a knock on the door and quickly jumped back to his bed, making sure one last time that the bag was not visible.

"Island?" He heard his brother's voice from the other side.

He didn't know what he wanted, and his paranoia made him think that it was to confront him about the napkins for dinner. He didn't want to talk about that. His brother was smart and he'd know what he was doing and he couldn't let that happen until he had reached his goal weight.

"Can I come in?" Iceland nodded then feeling stupid, he couldn't see him at the other side, so, he replied loudly as he could "yeah"

"You almost didn't eat" said Norway once he had entered the other's bedroom.

The Norwegian sat down next to him on the bed and put his hand on the other's, he had a concerned look on his face and Iceland hated that.

"Yes I did eat. I'm okay Noregur" he replied, taking his hand away and moving to the other side of the bed.

Norway frowned but didn't say anything. It was already hard for both of them not to be awkward with each other but Norway really wanted to help his little brother.

"Island... You look pale and like you could pass out any time, how is that being okay?" Iceland looked away and bit his lower lip. He hadn't really thought about an excuse to tell his brother other than he was stressed.

"I told you, I've been working a lot and I'm stressed"

"You can trust me, Is... I can help you out if whatever hell you're in"

Iceland frowned and shook his head "you're overreacting" It hurt him lying to his brother when he behaved like this, but he couldn't stop, not right now when he was close to hit his first goal weight "I'm seriously fine, once the project is done I'll go stay with you for a while, okay brother?" Iceland knew what could convince his brother but even if he was lying it was true that he liked spending time with him, even if he wouldn't say it out loud.

This seemed to satisfy the Norwegian, who nodded, a hint of happiness in his face and Iceland almost sighed in relief. His brother seemed to finally buy his excuse and he could continue with what he was doing.

He talked a little bit more with Norway until he left to go to his own room to rest. Iceland let himself fall back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. He smiled as he remembered that his hand was as boney as his brother's, he noticed it the moment Norway put his hand on top of his.

He closed his eyes and then fell asleep.

The next day Iceland woke up early so he could go outside to smoke without anyone else noticing, he knew the others smoked occasionally, but he was always treated like the baby. He barely ever drank alcohol around the others because he was too young, only ever allowed one or two.

If they knew.

Iceland smiled to himself as he remembered the nights he would spend with other countries that he would consider his friends, it was always full of fun, drugs and sex. But this wasn't what had started his diet, he didn't even know how it did, one day he just saw Norway and then wanted to be like him.

He took out his phone and messaged the Netherlands.

Me: Do you have anything that suppresses hunger?

He saved his phone, knowing that he would likely be asleep at this time. He really wanted something that would make his diet easier and he had heard about pills that make it easier for you not to eat. Not that it was hard for him right now, but it would help him with the cravings he was getting lately. Not even once, since he had started, had he binged, but he was afraid that the pains in his stomach were getting stronger.

He sighed and left the consumed cigarette burn out before going back inside. He saw Sweden walking to the kitchen and he knew he'd have to hurry up and take a shower before anyone could notice the smell the tobacco left all over him.

And so he did, he changed clothes and put the others in a plastic bag to take them to laundry later.

He went downstairs to meet the others at the table. Sweden had made scrambled eggs and Denmark had helped him make some pancakes. He sighed and tried to count the calories in the scrambled eggs himself.

'Hmm... One egg is close to 60 calories, and Sweden never takes the yolk out. He probably put two eggs per head... A small portion would likely be less than 100 calories, but I don't know how much oil he used...' and so the maths in his head continued and Iceland felt himself getting stomachache, because 'oh God, it smells so good...'

Norway put a plate in front of him, with an average portion of the scrambled eggs, and he smiled to himself. He had really convinced his brother that it was just stress that cut his appetite. That was good. He was going to eat the eggs, they didn't have many calories so it was fine. He'd have to skip the pancakes, though.

He poured himself a glass of water and ate the eggs silently, just listening to Finland talking about something he had found online the other day. He wondered if Norway had told them something now that they weren't really paying attention to him.

It would be easy to save the pancakes in the napkins.

"Island?" He looked up and saw Sweden, putting the plate full of pancakes in the centre of the table. He then took some and put them on a plate, giving it to Iceland.

"Yeah?"

"How's your project going?" This time Finland asked, changing the attention from the pancakes to himself, and Iceland wondered why "You woke up very early, no wonder you are stressed. You should tell your boss not to bother you while you're here with us"

Iceland swallowed and thought quickly what to answer to that, since it was not easy, he had to say something he could keep up with for the longest time and that the others wouldn't check. He sighed but nodded.

"It's going fine. My boss said that I could have a break after it's done and no, I can't tell him that"

"And when will you have your break? Maybe we can spend it together!" Now Denmark spoke, staring at the Icelander and waiting for an answer.

"I'm not sure, but I already promised Noregur that I'm going to stay with him"

The Dane leaned back on the chair, unsatisfied with the reply he was given but soon the smile came back as he leaned towards the Norwegian "Can I go too?"

"I don't know... You're too loud"

Iceland took the moment the others had gotten distracted and quickly put most of the pancakes Sweden had given him inside the napkins and into his pocket. Then took a little with the fork and chewed. He made sure not to put any syrup on it.

No one noticed this and Iceland felt like celebrating. Maybe he would really be able to hit his goal weight in the following month.

When everyone left the table, Iceland made sure to take the napkins and hide them inside the bag he had put the others in and then he felt his phone vibrate.

Netherlands: "Denmark will kill me if I give you that"

Me: "As if you haven't been giving me other more dangerous things" he typed quickly, frowning.

Netherlands: "fine, but you come pick them"

Iceland sighed and left his phone on the table next to the bed. He wanted to exercise but then he wouldn't find any excuse for it. The others knew he would go to the gym regularly but with the stress he supposedly had it wouldn't be the best idea and much less with how 'skinny' they said he was. Norway was skinnier and exercised too, so why was it different with him? Why did they pay so much attention?

Questions flooded his mind as he lied down on the floor, putting a pillow behind his head for it to not make noise and began doing sit-ups, bitting his lips to avoid noise and constantly looking at the door in case this one was opened -for some reason, since it was locked-.

He spend the rest of the week hiding his food in napkins and exercising in his bedroom without anyone noticing until the last day. He had his first binge.

Sweden had made pumpkin pie and even if he had been able to avoid eating any of the dinner he found himself getting out of control when the piece of pie was put in front of him. He didn't even wait for Sweden to serve the others as he had already taken a big bite off it. He barely even chewed as the pieces of pie went down his throat and hurt. It hurt.

When he had finished he missed the confused glares from the others as he felt his stomach weight him down. He wanted to throw up as his body wasn't used to this amount of food anymore.

"Are you okay, Island?" Norway asked him, but Iceland didn't pay attention as he served himself another piece of pie.

'You're gonna regret this, you're gonna regret this' he repeated himself in his mind, but he couldn't stop. It tasted so good. It smelled so good too. It had been months since he felt like this and he hated it. Full and bloated.

He finished the second piece of pie and then all he could think about was on how all the effort from the last months had gone to waste.

"Island?"

"Sorry... It just that... It was really good, congrats, Sve" he said not fully convincing anyone but also not receiving any answer from the others.

He counted the minutes in his head. He had to throw up in less than fifteen minutes. He had to.

"I'm not feeling very well" he told his brother who put a hand on his shoulder.

"Want to go see a doctor?" The Norwegian stood up and leaned to feel his forehead. Iceland shook his head and stood up as well.

"I just need to lie down"

"Alright. Go lie down. When I finish this I'll take you some medicine" he nodded as he walked upstairs, feeling the stares on his back but not really caring.

Now the problem was, how was he supposed to make himself purge without making any noise? He turned on the shower and leaned towards the toilet. Fingers in and food out.

Again and again until all he could do was lean back on the wall and stare at the ceiling while he heard the water running down and the voice of his brother from the other side of the door.