Winter would come soon - without Elsa's help this time - and Anna was determined to make the most of whatever was left of fall. Kai had packed up a picnic lunch, which Kristoff held in his left hand, holding onto Anna with his right.
"How far did you say this was?"
"Don't tell me that Kristoff, Kristoff the big mountain man," Anna bumped her shoulder up against him, laughing. "Is getting winded."
Kristoff laughed. "Oh I could hike all day without getting tired, hell, I could carry you too!" proving his point, Kristoff dropped the basket and swept Anna up over his shoulder. She screeched and laughed, grabbing onto the back of his shirt.
"Okay!" she laughed. "I believe you, I believe you!"
"But, what makes this situation so nice is that you are all the way up here," he popped up his shoulder to remind her she was over six feet off the ground. "And the basket, with the food, is all the way down there." he pointed. "So, really, I'm the only one with access to it, and I believe that Kai put four apple turnovers in there."
"I love apple turnovers!" Anna exclaimed. "Give me one."
"Now you see," Kristoff said, walking around with her. "I also love apple turnovers. In fact, I'm in the mood to have four of them right now."
"We are supposed to share!"
"I mean, sure, I could give you a bite. But as you so kindly pointed out, I am a big mountain man and I need my strength, so I should probably go ahead and eat all four."
Anna wriggled. "Don't you dare!"
"What're you gonna give me?"
"What?"
"To put you down!"
Anna paused for a second. "I'll find the brightest, reddest leaf I can."
"Oh, I'm set on leaves. Guess you're stayin' up there." Kristoff said, spinning around.
Anna laughed. "Well, what do you want?"
Kristoff spun her around again. "How about a kiss?"
"Oh, I can do that!"
Kristoff squatted to drop Anna back onto her feet, but she was quickly back in his arms, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her up against him, as close as she could be. She broke the kiss and leaned back, sliding her hands to cup his jaw.
"Okay." he said, pressing his forehead against hers. "I suppose you can have one turnover."
"ONE?!-"
…
Brigita checked over her shoulder to make sure that no one was watching her, then waved her hand to sleep up the rest of the soot. She didn't like dusting much either. She walked by the plants on the windowsill and made them bloom a bit more. Her mother had always said her gift was from the solstice, as she was born on that summer day, and Brigita had no trouble accepting that. The issue was in why she was given these powers.
At first, she thought it was a product solely of the day of your birth. Maybe other people got other powers from their day, but it didn't really seems so. In fact, Brigita didn't know of anyone who had any sort of powers like her - well, until Queen Elsa had her ice meltdown. Though she wasn't quite sure at first why their powers were so different, she eventually figured it out - the Queen was born on the winter solstice.
Brigita walked into the next room and performed the next set of tasks. Swoop all the dust into the center of the room. Move it into the dust pail. Help the plants bloom. The work was mindless, easy enough to do. Why did she need the ability to do all of this if this was going to be the extent of her life?
She'd do anything for some excitement. There was no concrete plan or even real idea of the sort of excitement she wanted. The usual things, she supposed. Travel, adventure, true love. The things you read about in storybooks. But, those sorts of things weren't likely in the cards for her. At least, not while there were still chores to do.
Brigita sighed, and a flower wilted.
...
Kristoff sat there quietly, losing the specifics of what Anna was saying for the experience of watching her talk. She was bubbly and excited, over something as simple as eating lunch. Kristoff had never been excited about eating lunch before. Ever. She moved quickly, in jagged little darts because every stimuli claimed all of her attention. It was like watching a sunbeam in human form.
"What're you looking at?" Anna waved her hand a little in front of his face, laughing.
Kristoff looked up at her, focusing. "I love you." he said breathlessly.
"I love you, too." Anna smiled, happy but confused. They'd told each other they were in love before. Why, they'd been dating for roughly three years at this point.
"No, Anna, I mean I love you." he leaned in towards her, taking both of her hands. "I've never loved another girl, and I could never love anyone else. Not like this." he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not even close."
"Kristoff-" Anna breathed.
"I don't know how to say this sort of stuff very well. I've never had any practice. I didn't know I could feel this way. Believe me, if someone had even told me that you could feel this way about a person, I would've come down to the castle and found you myself - years ago! I don't have anything to compare it to. I'm not that great with words. I just know that I've never felt this happy in my life, and I've felt that every day. At first...at first I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, or to feel differently. But it hasn't come. And now I think it's just not going to."
Anna sat there, beaming, drawing her knees up and hugging herself.
"There's nothing and no one I care about more than you, Anna." He said, reaching for her. "I love you. I really do."
"Oh, Kristoff…" Anna closed any space between them, climbing onto his lap and leaning back, pulling him on top of her.
As they kissed and laid there in the last of the crisp fall days, Kristoff knew that he had to marry this girl. He'd known it for a while, but the urgency reached him in that moment. Nothing mattered more than building a life and space with this girl, and he wanted to start, officially, properly, as soon as possible.
Besides, he already had the ring.
...
"Mom...Dad." Elsa stepped up to the portrait of her parents, looking up at them. "How could you do this?"
No one was around - no one came this way except for Elsa, and maids when they were giving the area a once-over. Nothing particularly important was over here, besides a lot of art and a few sitting rooms. There were other portraits of the king and queen, other portraits of the royal family, but Elsa liked this one. She had spent time wondering why this one drew her, and finally accepted that it wasn't so much the painting itself, but the location. It gave them a place to talk.
"I know I didn't tell you the truth about me, and maybe I should've." Elsa grabbed her arm and looked down. "I didn't know how. I know you tried to help with the ice powers, but you didn't, okay? All you did was scare me, and make me hold it inside me, when it wasn't bad!"
She sighed and spun around, looking up to face them again. "I know you were doing what you thought was right. I know that. I know you loved me. But what you did was wrong. It didn't help me, it hurt me. And I know that's the curse of parenting - that all parents ruin their kids, just through the fallibility of being human. And you ruined me in that way. I don't know if I can ever fix it, but it's getting better. I'm learning about myself, Anna is helping me. I don't think she'll ever quite get it either, but she helps." Elsa bit her lip. "But I didn't know anyone who felt...who loved women like I do. You understand why I couldn't tell you, right? With everything you did with the ice powers...I didn't want this part of me changed too. I don't think it's normal. I've never seen or heard of anyone else feeling this way, not around here anyway. But I like it. I think it's a good part of me."
Elsa picked up a book she had placed on a nearby table, one she had been reading a month earlier. "I was reading this biography, about a Swedish queen in the 1600s. The biographer seemed fond of her, and she was very learned and smart, even if she didn't seem to be the best cut out for ruling. She decided not to marry, Mama and Papa. The biographer talks about the close, personal friendships she kept with women. And how she declared that she would never marry a man. The book doesn't say it, of course, but still I feel...I feel like maybe she's like me. I wish the book would just say. I wish I could know that I wasn't alone in this too."
Elsa sighed, putting the book down on a table in front of them. "Either way, I'm telling you now. I want you to know that I didn't avoid men to spite you, or because I'm too picky. I don't want a husband. I'd never love him, no matter how perfect he is. But I understand what you want - for me and, more importantly, for the kingdom. I'm not the perfect ruler. Why, I've already proven that. I'm not too bold as to assume that I'll ever reach a point where I can run this kingdom on my own. So I will look for a king." she nodded, as if she were trying to convince herself. "I know I can never have what I want, I know I can't have a wife. Where would I even find such a woman like me?" she shook her head, feeling tears come. "I don't think more than a few of us have ever been fastened. I don't know why I'm supposed to be lonely, I don't know why all my gifts isolate me. But they do."
Stepping back, she put her hands behind her back to steady herself. "I will not let my suffering punish Arendelle. If you really believed that a king would help the country, I will find a partner. I don't know how, but I will find someone. It will work out, I know it will. It always does."
Elsa wiped her tears onto her sleeve, sniffling a little. "I love you guys, I hope you still know that."
…
"Winter is almost here - and in the normal part of the year, finally!" Anna said, turning to Kristoff.
He laughed. "Yes, and finally I can go harvest some ice." he rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Sven's been itching to get out."
Anna laughed. "Can I come with again?"
Kristoff put an arm around her shoulders. "Always." he said. "But I swear to God, if you try to walk out on the ice again I am going to have a heart attack, die, come back to life, and kill you."
"The ice seemed solid!"
"You fell through!"
"I said seemed! Turns out it wasn't!"
"Anna, that was the worst day of my life." Kristoff said, with a protective seriousness. "Turning just in time to see you fall through the ice and into the water...if one little thing had been different we wouldn't be here today. If I hadn't seen you, if you had floated down and gotten trapped under thicker ice, if you hadn't been able to hold your breath." Kristoff furrowed his brow and looked down at her. "That's twice now I've thought you were going to die. Don't make me go through it a third time, please."
Anna turned to him and placed a hand on his chest. "I'll be careful, Kristoff, promise. I don't mean to get into this trouble, it just happens."
"I know, I know." Kristoff sighed. "It's not your fault. Just...just promise me you'll always be cautious around ice. It's dangerous, as you well know. Winter is a difficult realm for anyone."
"Even rugged mountain men?" Anna smirked.
"Even rugged mountain men." Kristoff laughed, and they continued on their walk.
…
Elsa gave her permission to the council for them to summon suitors. It felt so easy, so formal to initiate such a complex and intimate process. The men would come, they would meet, they would spend supervised time together, and eventually she'd marry one of them. Easy as pie.
The council was excited at this prospect, and complimented her on her fine diplomatic decision, her reasonableness, several other things she was sure, but she had already zoned out. It didn't matter. She wasn't doing this for their praise, or for their sake.
Letters were sent out that day, inviting them all to come in at staggered times, like meetings. There was the presumption that all of them would show up - she was a queen, after all, but Elsa wouldn't have minded a bit if a few of them couldn't quite make it work with their schedules.
She figured it didn't matter much, anyway. She needed a king. It didn't matter what he looked like, or what goals he had, as long as he-
Elsa stopped for a second. Oh my God. If she was to marry someone, she wouldn't just be getting a husband, he would be getting a wife. This wasn't just a king, it was a person, who probably dreamed of being in love, maybe of having kids, of building a friendship and a life with another person who very well could be her.
Elsa bit her lip and hugged herself. She hadn't even thought of that - and the invitations were gone! It was already a terrible problem when she reckoned how it would affect herself, but now she'd be robbing someone of their true love, of the life they wanted, just so she could honor her parents and run her kingdom.
Collapsing on a chair, Elsa fully realized now what had been done. How far would she have to go in this charade? Would she have to pretend to fall in love? Would she have to bear children? Was this worth it, to lie about every aspect of her life just to be someone's pretend wife?
Was there another option?
...
Kristoff paced in his room, back and forth in front of the moon. How do you propose to someone, knowing that they're the love of your life? What can you possibly do to convey the magnitude of your love, of everything you'll spend your life trying to give them?
He didn't know how to put on a show. He'd never put on any sort of show before, ever. For anyone. Was he supposed to get a thousand roses, get champagne bottles to pop on cue? Have the dishes perform a song and dance? Where was an enchanted castle when you need one?
"Stupid, lousy, normal castle." he mumbled, leaning against the wall and looking out the window.
He didn't even think Anna would really like a big show. Sure, she liked events and exciting things, but she never particularly cared to have them be about her. She liked their picnics, and walks, and time lounging about the castle. Whenever he asked her what she wanted to do, those were the things she picked. He had asked several times about balls or ceremonial things, thinking that was the sort of thing that princesses liked, and she laughed. She assured him that she did like those things, but just to meet the people. The panache itself was a side dish.
He knew Anna, he knew her heart. If he were to make a fool of himself and gather up every romantic gesture he'd ever heard about and put it in a room, she'd indulge him. She'd say that she loved it, but would she really? That was what was most important. Though this question bonded the two of them equally, he didn't want to make it about him. So few things were about Anna, this had to be.
Kristoff also wondered how much of this was a product of nerves. He'd let Anna set the pace on every aspect of their relationship. After Hans...he didn't want her to move more quickly than she was comfortable. She was still so warm, so trusting, after everything that bastard had done to her. He didn't want to ruin it or exploit it, no matter how unintentional those things would be. Whenever they took another step together, he wanted it to be fully because she wanted it to happen.
But wouldn't a show make that worse? If he filled a room with props and people, watching her and demanding an answer, wouldn't that just be forcing a yes when she may only want to give a 'maybe'?
It was obvious that she loved him. He didn't doubt that a bit. But she could love him and still not be ready for marriage, he knew that. He wanted the answer that she wanted to give. Of course he wanted her to say yes, to excitedly agree to marry him. Only now was he fully processing how much he wanted to hear her say yes. But none of that was as important as ensuring that is was what she wanted.
Only then, did Kristoff realize how he wanted to ask her. He went to grab a shirt, but decided against it. He would go as he was. Besides, he didn't think she'd mind. He opened his bedroom door and looked down the hallway both ways, double-checking that no one was coming. No one was. He slid out and shut the door quietly behind him, headed down the hall to Anna's room.
"Anna?" Kristoff asked, crawling into bed with her.
Anna snored in response.
Kristoff shook her shoulder.
"Huh?" Anna shot up, eyes flying open. She yawned, and wiped drool from her mouth. "Kristoff!"
"I have something to show you." he said, smiling a little.
Anna paused for a second. "Is it a miniature horse?"
Kristoff smiled. "Better."
"Oh, I'm not too sure about that. Let's see it." Anna said, now fully awake.
"This was my mother's." he prefaced. "It's the last thing I really have of her."
"Oh, wow." Anna said, climbing onto his lap and putting her arms around his neck. "Can I see it?"
Kristoff took a deep breath, pulling out the small golden ring. Anna gasped.
"I love you, Anna. I don't know how to tell you in a way that is adequate. No one ever taught me the words, no one taught me how to love you properly, fully. I'm giving you everything I have, and it still doesn't feel like enough in comparison to how you make me feel."
"It's more than enough," Anna said, tears springing to her eyes. "It's all I've ever wanted. I love you so much, Kristoff."
Kristoff leaned his forehead up against hers. "Will you marry me, Anna?"
"Yes, Kristoff. Of course I will."
The ring fit, just like it was always meant to be there.
