Doesn't Anyone Stay Dead Around Here?
Chapter 2
Buffy looked up from the pile of bills on the breakfast bar in front of her as the kitchen door burst open and a smoking, blanket-covered figure rushed in.
"Spike. What do you want?" The question came out a lot less harshly than she intended. Buffy had gotten off work at the Doublemeat Palace an hour before and was nursing a growing headache as she slowly worked her way through this month's bills. She really wasn't in the mood for yet another round of veiled comments and innuendo with Spike.
Spike cocked his head to the side and grinned, easily falling into the familiar routine. Buffy would protest and pretend that she didn't want him, but in the end that rarely held her back.
"Why, luv, I think you know what I want." He crossed the kitchen and leaned across the counter so his face was even with hers.
"You're a pig, Spike." Her standard reply lacked its usual conviction.
"Oink, oink." Spike closed the distance between them as Buffy tilted her head, anticipating the kiss. Spike pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back. Then reality intruded and Buffy pulled away.
"No, now is not a good time. Dawn will be home soon and Will's just out getting groceries. She could walk in at any time."
This scene had played out far too many times for Spike to be surprised. However, that didn't mean her moderate rejection hurt any less. But damned if Spike was going to let her know that. Spike's expression turned from playful to serious as he remembered the reason for his visit. "S'alright, luv. Not the reason I'm here anyway."
Buffy's raised eyebrows told Spike exactly how little she believed him, but he pressed on.
"There were these two humans in my crypt today."
"And the Big Bad needs my help to scare them off?" she scoffed.
"I didn't really get to the scaring part, luv. I heard 'em coming and thought they were looking to collect on some, ah, debts I may owe."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "What kind of kittens is it this time, Spike? Calicos?"
"Right. Well, ol' Sharkey's taken to sending humans after me on account of the chip, so when I heard 'em coming, I hid."
"And I would want to help you avoid your loan shark, why?"
"Well, there's always the amazing sex, luv . . ." Spike suggested, as he ran his tongue over his lower lip.
Buffy struggled to suppress a shiver of pleasure. *How does he always do that to me?* she wondered.
The shrill ring of the phone pulled her back out of the moment. She crossed the room to answer it.
"Hello?"
The familiar, comforting voice of the only man she actually considered a father came through the line.
"H-hello? Buffy, is that you?" Giles asked.
"Giles!" Buffy's cry of excitement was short lived. "What's wrong?" she asked suspiciously.
"Does something need to be wrong for me to ring you?"
"Well, no, but we haven't really been big on the 'Hey, how ya doing?' calls. Just the 'The world is going to end!' calls. Not that I want a 'The world is going to end!' call, but I figure the chances of you calling just to chat are not so great, so . . ."
Buffy's rambling was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.
"Would you get the door, Spike? And be nice to whoever's there," she called over her shoulder before returning to her conversation with Giles.
"Spike is there?"
"Uh, yeah." Buffy searched rapidly for an excuse. Wait, Spike did say he had an actual reason for coming. The kissing had just been a side event, not the real reason he was there. *No need to make excuses, nothing happened!* she chastised herself sternly. "He came to tell me something about his loan shark and kittens. I'm not really sure. He came in just before you called."
"Ah, yes. Well, as you say there is a prophecy I wanted to discuss with you." Giles was relieved to hear that the vampire at least had an excuse to be around and wasn't still blatantly stalking Buffy.
"A prophecy? Great. What is it this time? Another apocalypse?" Buffy's flippant tone did not fool Giles.
"Relax, Buffy." He reassured her. "The prophecy is unclear, er, th- that is, it is rather clear, just confusing."
"Gee, a confusing prophecy?" The sarcasm in Buffy's voice oddly reassured Giles. He was now talking to self-assured, sarcastic Buffy, not anxious, I'm-not-ready-to-face-another-big-apocolype-since-I-died-during- the-last-one-and-I-haven't-quite-recovered-from-being-pulled-out-of-Heaven Buffy.
"Right. Well, th-the thing is, the, ah, prophecy states that the Master will rise from the Mouth of Hell."
"The Master? Mr. I-Ground-His-Bones-To-Dust? Come on, Giles, didn't anyone tell the prophecy writers that I killed him like five years ago?"
"Well, yes. That does seem to be a bit of a hindrance to the fulfillment of this prophecy. But, if you'll recall, Buffy, the prophecy about that battle accurately predicted your death. Er, your first death, that is. And you, of all people, should know that prophecies have a way of coming true."
"Great," Buffy's voice indicated that she considered the prophecy anything but. "Well, what's the what, then?"
"I just found the prophecy, and some of the books I need are at the Magic Box. I wanted to let you know my preliminary findings, so you and the, ah, others" –Giles still found it difficult to refer to the group by the cartoon characters they had named themselves after– "could start researching and preparing. I will continue my work here."
"Okay, well, um, let me get a pen . . ." As she turned to look for a pen and paper to take notes with, she noticed Spike standing in the dinning room's doorway and remembered the doorbell ringing. She raised her eyebrows, silently questioning him. He gestured toward the living room, where he had directed whoever was at the door. Apparently they needed Buffy's attention. *What if it's Social Services on another surprise visit? The last thing they need to hear is me taking notes about an apocalyptic prophecy!* Buffy returned her attention to the phone.
"Uh, Giles, there's someone at the door, can I call you back?"
"Certainly, Buffy. Why don't I, er, e-mail Willow the details of what to look for? You can call me with any questions," he responded.
"Sure, that sounds good. Bye, Giles. It was good talking to you, even if it was, um, end of the worldy stuff like this."
"Goodbye, Buffy."
Buffy hung up the phone and walked past Spike into the living room. Two men were seated on the couch. The younger, blonde haired man held a notepad in his hand. A video camera sat on the floor next to the older one.
*Definitely not Social Services, unless they've taken to looking for photographic evidence of my failure as a parent,* she thought wryly to herself. Putting on her best customer service smile, perfected by countless mind-numbing hours at the Doublemeat Palace, Buffy turned to the men.
"What can I do for you?"
"Well, Ms. Summers," the younger man started, "I understand you know something about vampires."
tbc
Chapter 2
Buffy looked up from the pile of bills on the breakfast bar in front of her as the kitchen door burst open and a smoking, blanket-covered figure rushed in.
"Spike. What do you want?" The question came out a lot less harshly than she intended. Buffy had gotten off work at the Doublemeat Palace an hour before and was nursing a growing headache as she slowly worked her way through this month's bills. She really wasn't in the mood for yet another round of veiled comments and innuendo with Spike.
Spike cocked his head to the side and grinned, easily falling into the familiar routine. Buffy would protest and pretend that she didn't want him, but in the end that rarely held her back.
"Why, luv, I think you know what I want." He crossed the kitchen and leaned across the counter so his face was even with hers.
"You're a pig, Spike." Her standard reply lacked its usual conviction.
"Oink, oink." Spike closed the distance between them as Buffy tilted her head, anticipating the kiss. Spike pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back. Then reality intruded and Buffy pulled away.
"No, now is not a good time. Dawn will be home soon and Will's just out getting groceries. She could walk in at any time."
This scene had played out far too many times for Spike to be surprised. However, that didn't mean her moderate rejection hurt any less. But damned if Spike was going to let her know that. Spike's expression turned from playful to serious as he remembered the reason for his visit. "S'alright, luv. Not the reason I'm here anyway."
Buffy's raised eyebrows told Spike exactly how little she believed him, but he pressed on.
"There were these two humans in my crypt today."
"And the Big Bad needs my help to scare them off?" she scoffed.
"I didn't really get to the scaring part, luv. I heard 'em coming and thought they were looking to collect on some, ah, debts I may owe."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "What kind of kittens is it this time, Spike? Calicos?"
"Right. Well, ol' Sharkey's taken to sending humans after me on account of the chip, so when I heard 'em coming, I hid."
"And I would want to help you avoid your loan shark, why?"
"Well, there's always the amazing sex, luv . . ." Spike suggested, as he ran his tongue over his lower lip.
Buffy struggled to suppress a shiver of pleasure. *How does he always do that to me?* she wondered.
The shrill ring of the phone pulled her back out of the moment. She crossed the room to answer it.
"Hello?"
The familiar, comforting voice of the only man she actually considered a father came through the line.
"H-hello? Buffy, is that you?" Giles asked.
"Giles!" Buffy's cry of excitement was short lived. "What's wrong?" she asked suspiciously.
"Does something need to be wrong for me to ring you?"
"Well, no, but we haven't really been big on the 'Hey, how ya doing?' calls. Just the 'The world is going to end!' calls. Not that I want a 'The world is going to end!' call, but I figure the chances of you calling just to chat are not so great, so . . ."
Buffy's rambling was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.
"Would you get the door, Spike? And be nice to whoever's there," she called over her shoulder before returning to her conversation with Giles.
"Spike is there?"
"Uh, yeah." Buffy searched rapidly for an excuse. Wait, Spike did say he had an actual reason for coming. The kissing had just been a side event, not the real reason he was there. *No need to make excuses, nothing happened!* she chastised herself sternly. "He came to tell me something about his loan shark and kittens. I'm not really sure. He came in just before you called."
"Ah, yes. Well, as you say there is a prophecy I wanted to discuss with you." Giles was relieved to hear that the vampire at least had an excuse to be around and wasn't still blatantly stalking Buffy.
"A prophecy? Great. What is it this time? Another apocalypse?" Buffy's flippant tone did not fool Giles.
"Relax, Buffy." He reassured her. "The prophecy is unclear, er, th- that is, it is rather clear, just confusing."
"Gee, a confusing prophecy?" The sarcasm in Buffy's voice oddly reassured Giles. He was now talking to self-assured, sarcastic Buffy, not anxious, I'm-not-ready-to-face-another-big-apocolype-since-I-died-during- the-last-one-and-I-haven't-quite-recovered-from-being-pulled-out-of-Heaven Buffy.
"Right. Well, th-the thing is, the, ah, prophecy states that the Master will rise from the Mouth of Hell."
"The Master? Mr. I-Ground-His-Bones-To-Dust? Come on, Giles, didn't anyone tell the prophecy writers that I killed him like five years ago?"
"Well, yes. That does seem to be a bit of a hindrance to the fulfillment of this prophecy. But, if you'll recall, Buffy, the prophecy about that battle accurately predicted your death. Er, your first death, that is. And you, of all people, should know that prophecies have a way of coming true."
"Great," Buffy's voice indicated that she considered the prophecy anything but. "Well, what's the what, then?"
"I just found the prophecy, and some of the books I need are at the Magic Box. I wanted to let you know my preliminary findings, so you and the, ah, others" –Giles still found it difficult to refer to the group by the cartoon characters they had named themselves after– "could start researching and preparing. I will continue my work here."
"Okay, well, um, let me get a pen . . ." As she turned to look for a pen and paper to take notes with, she noticed Spike standing in the dinning room's doorway and remembered the doorbell ringing. She raised her eyebrows, silently questioning him. He gestured toward the living room, where he had directed whoever was at the door. Apparently they needed Buffy's attention. *What if it's Social Services on another surprise visit? The last thing they need to hear is me taking notes about an apocalyptic prophecy!* Buffy returned her attention to the phone.
"Uh, Giles, there's someone at the door, can I call you back?"
"Certainly, Buffy. Why don't I, er, e-mail Willow the details of what to look for? You can call me with any questions," he responded.
"Sure, that sounds good. Bye, Giles. It was good talking to you, even if it was, um, end of the worldy stuff like this."
"Goodbye, Buffy."
Buffy hung up the phone and walked past Spike into the living room. Two men were seated on the couch. The younger, blonde haired man held a notepad in his hand. A video camera sat on the floor next to the older one.
*Definitely not Social Services, unless they've taken to looking for photographic evidence of my failure as a parent,* she thought wryly to herself. Putting on her best customer service smile, perfected by countless mind-numbing hours at the Doublemeat Palace, Buffy turned to the men.
"What can I do for you?"
"Well, Ms. Summers," the younger man started, "I understand you know something about vampires."
tbc