Harry took the moving staircase to Dumbledore's office with a heavy heart. Today was the last day of the school year, and Harry couldn't shake off the memory of the last day before Christmas. Half a year ago, Dumbledore sent him to spend the holiday with Snape. Now, he stood in front of his door and couldn't find the courage to knock. What if the Headmaster sent him to Snape for the whole summer? Granted, the Christmas stay was quite okay - if extremely lonely - but it was only two weeks. Harry couldn't imagine staying hidden in his room for two months. Two months with no one to talk to. Well, if you didn't count a House-Elf, whom you really couldn't converse with, could you?
Harry took a deep breath, gathered the proverbial Gryffindor courage, and knocked. He wished he knew how to pray and whom to send the prayer to.
Please, don't send me to Snape, please. Let this be something about Sirius. Something good. Freedom for Sirius, home for me. Please, please, please.
"Come in!" Dumbledore's voice sounded.
It did little for Harry's hopes that he found Snape in the Headmaster's office. Snape looked angry and decidedly nonplused at seeing Harry.
"Ah, Harry, good that you joined us. Sit down." He motioned to a chair. "As I have just told Severus, I want you two to spend one more holiday together."
Harry just stared at him, speechless. There it was, his nightmare coming to life. Two months locked inside, slowly turning mad with loneliness. No contact with anyone, not even any letters from his friends, or birthday presents.
"And I have just told you no, Albus," Snape's furious voice interrupted Harry's musings.
Harry swallowed. He hoped Snape won this argument, or Harry was as good as dead. He wondered if he should feel hurt that Snape so blatantly refused to have him. Harry didn't, though. Snape never liked him, never bothered to pretend that he did, and Harry was the same. The Headmaster, on the other hand... Why didn't Dumbledore take Harry?
"Severus..." Albus started, only to be cut short.
"Don't 'Severus' me!" the man shouted. "I took him for Christmas. Send him with someone else this time. Tell Minerva to take him."
McGonagall? Harry mused. He wondered what it would be like to spend summer with the elder witch. It sounded okay. Lots of homework, he guessed. He bet McGonagall would let him go outside and fly, though. She was so keen on Gryffindor winning the Quidditch matches after all.
"Now, Severus, you know Minerva's mother is dying. It's unlikely that she will see the end of summer." Albus admonished, and Snape averted his eyes. Harry would enjoy Snape's shame, had he not been so shocked. Poor McGonagal. Now that he thought about it, she had been a bit depressed-looking lately. Harry felt ashamed. He never thought about her like about a person, with family and troubles of her own.
"The Weasleys, then. Hell, I will pay them if they cannot afford it!"
Okay, Harry thought, that stung. For some reason, Snape willing to pay someone for keeping him felt much worse than Snape not wanting him.
"Too obvious, Severus. And besides, Molly will have her hands full, now that Artur will rarely be at home.," Dumbledore reasoned.
"Pomona," Snape tried again. He left his seat and now was pacing around Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster, on the other hand, looked relaxed, and he contentedly sucked on a lemon drop. He was obviously sure he would win this argument.
"Pomona spends summers with her broad family full of babies, toddlers, and children. She would never endanger them," Dumbledore said gravely, at least for his standards.
Okay, Harry felt a stir of anger for the first time. So I am a security problem, the hot potato that burns any hands trying to keep it. Do rub in it, why don't you!
"You keep him, then!" Snape stopped his pacing just in front of Dumbledore's table. His hair obscured his face, so Harry could only guess what expression it wore.
Yes, Harry thought, why doesn't Dumbledore want me? It can't be for fear of becoming a target.
"You cannot be serious, my boy," the old wizard answered, his voice reproving. "As if you didn't realize how many fronts I will have to perform, and the level of organization it will require. And I am not getting any younger."
Harry translated the cryptic words to himself as 'I am too busy to be bothered', with a lame excuse at the end. He felt a sharp pang of betrayal. It wasn't as if Harry was a small child that required much of his guardian's time. He obviously wasn't wanted – by the man who pretended to like him.
"Send Potter to his Muggle relatives. He's spent all his life with them, so why are they now unsuitable?"
Yes, why were the Dursleys unsuitable now? Harry would like to know this as well. He had begged Dumbledore to stay at Hogwarts last year, and the year before, without any luck. Why the change of heart?
Dumbledore brushed it off, deepening Harry's feeling of betrayal. The old wizard said only, "We will not go into that matter now." And that was it. Harry felt as if Dumbledore slapped him.
Snape's black eyes turned to him now. Harry licked his lips nervously. What did Snape want?
"Potter, was it better to spend Christmas with me than with your relatives?" From his teacher's voice it was obvious to Harry that the man expected a negative response. Expected and wanted a negative response.
Harry opened his mouth to give Snape what he wanted, but then he closed it again. He swallowed, glued his eyes to the ground, and nodded his head. A lonely Christmas was better than being left behind, locked in the a room with bars in the windows by the people who were supposed to like you. At least Snape didn't lock the door.
Harry thought Snape's head jerked a bit in surprise, but he couldn't be sure. The man's face remained stoic. Maybe he was just imagining things.
There was a short silence.
It didn't take long for Snape to recover. "Send him to Lupin."
Harry thought that the Potions master started sounding a little desperate. It was evident that his list of people who should take Harry was getting thin.
"Remus doesn't have a house. He lives in a very modest apartment," Dumbledore countered easily, to Harry's regret. Pity. Harry liked Lupin a lot. He might have learned a lot about defense, too.
"Black's house." Snape got back to pacing from the windows, to Fawkes' perch, and back.
"Unsuitable at the moment."
Harry felt like he was watching a ping-pong match, but he was the ball.
"I will lend them my house," Snape offered grudgingly. Harry realized what the offer implied - Snape didn't mean to spend the summer at home. Or maybe he wanted to spend the summer at home, but if it meant having Harry there he would rather stay at Hogwarts. Harry was starting to wonder what lengths Snape was willing to go to avoid being burdened with him.
"Certainly not, Severus," Dumbledore said. The two men were staring at each other, and Harry couldn't help but think that they were conversing somehow without making a sound.
"Send him to join Black, then!" Snape threw in desperately. "The mutt is in hiding anyway. They can stay together. You know Black will protect him with his life."
Harry felt like whistling. Wow. Snape was even willing to praise Sirius just to get rid of Harry. It equaled to winning ten million Pounds in a lottery, only in negative numbers.
"Now, Severus," the Headmaster reasoned, "Sirius is in hiding for a reason. Even I don't know where he is at the moment."
"You have your ways to find out," Severus accused.
"I won't use them," Dumbledore informed the irate man. He turned to Harry. "Harry, my boy, you wouldn't want to endanger Sirius, would you?"
Harry shook his head. What kind of question was that? Of course he didn't want all the bad guys after Sirius. The Aurors were already after him, so Sirius definitely didn't need to be hunted by the other half of the world as well because of Harry. Snape was crazy to suggest it at all.
Snape paced in silence, his coat making an angry 'swoosh' sound every time he turned. It was painfully obvious that the wizard had run out of suggestions. Equally visible was his unwillingness to give up and yield.
Why does Dumbledore keep doing this to me? He throws me on people who are angry to have me. Which leads to mistreatment. How hard was is it to understand? Harry felt like screaming at the old wizard. Yet, he found himself unable to say anything. Dumbledore was set in his decision and no amount of begging was going to change that. Snape was set in his hate, and no amount of goodwill was going to change that. Harry sometimes hated his life.
"Severus," Dumbledore broke the silence, "I'm sorry to remind you that your attempt to get back to your former duty didn't go well."
Harry had no idea what did that mean, but Snape apparently did. The man got even angrier, though Harry wouldn't have thought that possible. He guessed that it was some kind of manipulation from Dumbledore.
After a meaningful pause, the Headmaster continued, "I need your help, Severus. You vowed it to me, and to the... cause."
Harry could see that Snape had lost. There must have been some history behind that statement that Harry wasn't privy to. Snape deflated. Or more precisely, his fight left him, not his anger.
"If you excuse me, Headmaster, I have to go take care of my correspondence. I have a whole summer's worth of plans to cancel, after all," Snape announced, his voice colder than ice.
Oh, God, Harry thought in panic. Not only did Snape have to house him, but he had to stay at home because of him. The man was going to kill him for missing his travelling, or Potions conferences, or ingredients hunting, or whatever plans the man might have had.
"Of course, Severus," Albus smiled at him benignly, as if he didn't realize how angry the teacher was. "You may go too, Harry. Good summer to both of you, my boys."
All the way down the moving stairs, Harry could hear the man fuming. Soon, they stood under the round staircase. Harry glanced at Snape, but quickly averted his eyes. The man was beyond furious. Harry wondered if he was going to strike him.
He didn't.
Snape only spat, "We are leaving at ten p.m., Potter."
Harry's head nodded as his subconscious made him react sooner than his brain managed to process it. Survival mode it was.
Snape stalked away. Harry slowly relaxed. Only now did he realised realize his body had instinctively cowed. He took a shuddering breath. Now Snape had the a reason to hate him. Harry was not going to make it through the summer.
Slowly, he calmed down. No, he wasn't being fair to Snape. The teacher didn't hit him even if he was blind with fury. It was more than Uncle Vernon could claim. If Harry stayed out of any mayor troubles, it was improbable that he would manage to infuriate Snape more than today.
And the summer...Okay, there would be food, lots of good food. There would be time to study, to read whatever book he got his hands on – maybe Hermione would lend him some of the numerous books she possessed? And if Harry managed to persuade Snape to let him outside...It would be...do-able.