A/N Hey guys, that's so much for your review. I hope you like the new chapter. Please let me know that you're still reading, or else I might get lazy.

Dr. Cox

This isn't happening. It just isn't. I don't get it, he was fine one minute and the next minute he passes out. The image of his suddenly pale face, as he caught onto the counter, will never leave my head. He looked so drained and weak, but I could tell that he was controlling his reactions. What kind of a stupid doctor tries to hide when he's sick? He should be the role model for patients and get himself checked out the minute something feels wrong. Heck he should be a borderline hypochondriac with all the stuff he knows about sickness. That's Newbie though; he's always neglecting his own problems to deal with everything else in the world. Sometimes I wonder if people who care that much should even be doctors. I mean, he will never be able to have a life outside of work at this rate; he can't seem to stop working. I was like that, but that was partly because I didn't have Jordan and Jack at the time. Now, I've managed to be a family man without compromising my work ethic too much. Newbie though, he could be with someone if he tried, but instead he chooses to work himself to the ground. I watch him day after day, going on nothing but pure will power after spending much more time than needed at work, and he doesn't even complain. He has a goofy and irritating smile plastered on his face all the time. It makes me want to strangle him, mostly because I wish I could be like him sometimes. I wish I could be that content with life that not even working in a hell hole like this could phase my enthusiasm. I guess he's my role model in some ways too. I'd never tell him that though, he may be a good kid but by god is he needy. I can't come within ten feet of him without having him fanaticizing about us being best friends who go to each other's slumber parties and gossip about our prom date

I have his ultrasound result in my hand, but I'm not sure I want to look at it. This isn't like before, something could be seriously wrong with him this time. I'm not sure I'm ready to find out. Carla is standing beside me, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. I know the feeling. Finally I can't take it anymore, I have to get this over with, and time could be of the essence. As I will out the x-ray and place it in front of the light, my heart begins to beat so fast that all I can hear is the loud rushing sound of my heartbeat whizzing by.

"Carla, call in a cardiologist now!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Everything." I can see her eyes go wide. I don't know what else to say.

"Perry?" Her eyes are pleading now. For a doctor I'm sure having trouble articulating a single diagnosis, but my God, this is Newbie! This is the man that has by some miracle, made this hell hole of a place bearable for a lot of people, including the two having this awful conversation.

"It's his heart Carla, its failing." A shock wave just passed between the two of us, I could almost touch it. I go on anyway.

"I think his valves malfunctioned and now the heart is deteriorating."

"How can that happen? He was fine. He didn't show any symptoms, and he's so young."

"The degeneration doesn't always follow symptoms. Although I can bet my pay check that there were some symptoms but the little bugger ignored them. Right now, I need you to get that cardiologist here right now. We need to discuss our options."

It's like she was suddenly jolted awake, maybe it's the urgency in my voice that did it. In the main time, I have to go see Kelso.

…………………….

I don't think I was out for very long, which is a shame because I'm not particularly glad to be awake. My chest hurt a bit, not as much as before, and I've got an IV line going. I wonder who my nurse is. I bet its Carla, although I hope its hot nurse Paige Norris. Maybe I can convince her to give me a sponge bath. Aside from that possible opportunity, everything else looks pretty bleak. I've only been up a few seconds and I already feel like I need to get out of this bed. It's just not natural; I'm always the one walking around doing stuff. I don't lie in bed, waiting for things to happen.

I don't have to wait long though, out of nowhere, the ceiling I was staring at disappears and there is a very large brown bald head staring at me.

"He man, you're scaring me."

"Turk. Whets going on?" I try and smile but my lips seem cracked. Come to think of it, my throat really feels dry.

"You passed out at the nurse station, they took you in for a cardio exam and now we're waiting in on the result. In the main time you've been hooked onto an IV and a bunch of drugs to keep the pain on the DL."

That's pretty much what I had expected. It doesn't seem like I'm having a heart attack right now, or I probably wouldn't be having this conversation, so I'm not too worried yet. I should be though, but oddly I don't really want to discuss this anymore.

"So did I miss anything?" It's probably only been about an hour or two but I Can't come up with anything better to break the tension. Turk's bald head looks even rounder from this angle.

"Yes, the janitor is going on a rampage torturing anyone who comes within fifty feet. I think you scared him. You scared me too." Turk looks so sad right now, I think I really did freak him out. I should feel guilty but the only thing that comes to my head is…

"The Janitor actually cares? I can't believe it." It's a nice feeling, I knew that his huge scary being was only supported by evil genius; he does have a big old heart. Always good to know.

"Yea well you'll be surprised how many people do." I clear my throat a bit, my voice sounds hoarse and scratchy. Immediately, a glass appears in front of my lips. Gently Turk takes a hold of the back of my head to help me lean forward and take a much needed drink.

"How's the…you know…chest pain." This is so uncomfortable; it's um-real to have a doctor-patient dynamic with your best friend. We've done it before but it hasn't gotten easier.

"Not too bad, I'll live." At least I think I will.

"Where's Elliot?"

"She's outside. She's a bit frantic right now; you don't want to see her right now trust me." I can almost imagine her running around yell Frick at random people. Or maybe she's ranting about people not giving her enough respect in a really squeaky voice, that's always funny to see. I wonder why she's freaking out though.

"Is she ok?"

"Yea, she's just…wacking out a bit. She'll be fine."

"Are you ok?" He's figiting with my IV, how much sugar did he have this morning.

"Yea, I'm just nervous. But you know me. There's nothing to be nervous about though. You're gonna be fine dude, trust me." The funny thing is, he wasn't really talking to me, he was talking to himself.

Suddenly the door opens and Dr Cox and Carla walk in. From the moment they walk in, I can tell that something is wrong. I work with these people all the time; I've given bad news with them tons of time. Carla's expression becomes soft and he bites back her lip a lot. Dr Cox puts up his stone face, even though his eyes are yelling that he just wishes things were better. Right now, both my friends and collogues have their "I'm sorry" faces on. I'm not going to like what I hear. I have to prepare myself, to not break down or freak out. Whatever happens, will be ok. I tell myself that a few times before putting my own "It's ok" face on.

All this would have been much easier if we had those bad news robots. Having this conversation with real people sucks a whole lot if you're on this side of the room. Only, I think I'll have my bad news robot look like Pamela Anderson.

Imagines his hospital bed in the middle of the beach, with Pamela Running tawards him in her red Baywatch swimming costume. Reaching him, in slow motion she gently kisses him on the cheek. "JD, you're dying. But don't worry. We'll have hot passionate sex one last time to make up for a life time."

"I'm cool with that" Says JD before he pounces on her, and the both make out in the sand.

I like it when sand sticks to my tummy. Anyway, I need to smoothen things out for my friends like I always hope my patients do when I have to say something difficult.

"Hey guys!" I say with a smile. I know it looks a bit fake, but its ok, we all know whatever comes next has to be dealt with, with some lightness or else all hell will break loose, for me at least.

"Bambi, how you feeling?" Carla asks as she comes to stand next to me. She puts a motherly hand on my forehead, before brushing her fingers through my hair. Calm washes over me through that gesture. I feel like I'm floating for just a second.

"I'm Bueno (good)." See Carla I was paying attention to your Spanish lessons the other day. She smiles at my pathetic attempt at lightening the mood, but it's a watery smile, like she's about to reach breaking point. I shouldn't push it. Whatever this is is bad and I don't want to make it more uncomfortable.

I look towards Dr. Cox who still hasn't said anything. He looks so meek, I wish I could get him to look like that more often during my shifts; maybe I'd be able to intimidate him for a change. Only, he looks so small and tame that it seems like he's a different person all together. I'm not sure I like it. In fact, I pretty sure I don't.

A silence has fallen in the room and its beginning to unnerve me. The tension is so think you could chain saw through it.

"Ok, whatever it is, just tell me. It's ok. Dr Cox, its ok, just tells me."

"Newbie…JD…" I forgot that he actually does know my name; it's so weird when he uses it. I feel like looking over my shoulder to check if he's talking to someone else. Normally I'd be thrilled but it's obvious, he only uses my name when things are dead serious. I probably shouldn't use the word "dead" in any context in case I jinx myself, but something tells me that it won't matter if I did.

Dr Cox is really freaking me out now, he's can't seem to get his words out right and I can tell that he's trying and it's just not working. All of a sudden, he turns around and walks out of the room. I'm so stunned I don't know what to say. Then just s suddenly as he left, he comes back, takes in a huge breath and shoots off his mouth.

"Nancy..."

"Perry…" Carla says her voce breaking. He nods at her before continuing.

"OK, you had a valve malfunction on both you left and right side of the heart and now its beginning to degenerate. So in other words, your heart is failing and because we didn't catch it sooner, its now pretty serious."

"Ok." I say softly. Its weird, you expect your whole world to fall apart at the thought of possible death but sometimes, when you've dealt with it enough times, you become numb to the idea. I guess I've every time I tried to put myself in my dying patient's shoes; I entertained the idea of death so much that it became very real for me. I mean, I imagined myself in this position so many times, that now after thinking that I would freak out, I feeling calm instead. I don't know how to explain that, it's just strange.

"So, what now?" I ask. I don't know why I'm speaking so softy, it just seems appropriate.

"I discussed our options with Dr Logan; he'll be here to talk to you in a minute. The only way to go is transplant at the moment; medication won't do us much good. I'm putting you on the donor list; Kelso has signed off on it."

"If I don't get a transplant, how long before game time?" I need to know, I feel like a time line might gelp things sink in easier if all goes downhill.

"Look Pricilla, there's no point in thinking about that right now, you just wrap your pig tails around this concept right now, we'll get a donor and you'll be back to work in no time, slaving under Kelso's Napoleonic regime like you always do. I'll go back to being the narcissistic bastard who goal is to break your spirit like I always do and this whole hospital will go back to being a dump like it always is. There are no if, no buts, and no other options. We don't want to go there, we don't want to think about them and we are going to be ok."

"Perry…How long." I ask, with a little bit of force, but at the same time I guess I'm reassuring him that I can handle it.

"Two weeks, give or take."

Oh crap.

A/N Thanks for reading. Please review and stay tuned if you like it.