A/n: things start getting a little angsty now. Also there's a rape scene in here but it's not very bad. If you would like smut comment say the pairing in the comments telling me you want smut.

Payton pov

"You're so pretty," Erwin said, stepping towards me.

"Th-thank you commander," I nervously replied, stepping back towards the door. Everything's moving quicker than normal, as if this nightmare was in fast forward, skipping parts.

"Where are you going? Do I scare you?" he asked, moving faster. I tried the door handle, but it was locked and only he knew how to open it. Suddenly, I was swept off of my feet and slammed up against the wall, a hand covering my mouth. I squirmed and tried to push him off but he was too strong.

"Shhhhhh, it's all going to be okay," he said as he ripped open my shirt. My eyes widened as he ripped off my pants as well. I understood now and I squirmed faster, his mouth muffling my screams as tears rolled down my cheeks. Help…

I bolted awake, draped in sweat.

"Payton, are you okay?" Petra asked, sitting next on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah," I said, swallowing. I could still feel his hands on me and I suddenly remembered that I had to meet with him today. I jumped up and glanced at the clock, 10:30. Shit, I thought as I pulled on my shoes and jacket. I jogged outside to the stables and swiftly saddled Phoenix. I jumped on and rode to town, hoping I wasn't to late. I ran up to his office and knocked on the door.

"Come in," he said. I pushed the door open and was relieved and surprised to see Levi sitting there.

"Ah Payton, you made it," Erwin said, his eyes flashing me an evil gin that chilled me to the bone. I slid into the seat next to Levi and picked up the file. "Let me catch you up to speed. Recently today, a male by the name of Eren Jaeger was discovered to be a Titan Shifter. Sadly, the Military Police Brigade managed to get custody of him before his trial. Our job is to try and earn him over at the trial. Each of you have your parts that are briefed in your folder. Levi, you are dismissed," Erwin said in one fell swoop. No, don't go, I thought to myself, but knowing Erwin, I would be dead before I could mutter a single word. Levi saluted and stepped outside. Erwin stood and locked the door, turning back to me. My bones chilled as I saw the look in his eye and I braced myself as he pushed a new button on his desk. That's weird I thought. A bookcase moved and a door opened. I stared and was caught off guard as he wrapped a ball gag around my mouth. I squirmed as he pulled my hair, leading me into the doorway. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the door closed behind me. He tied me to a hook, tying my legs apart and my arms up.

"It's been a while," he whispered in my ear. I cried harder and struggled against my restraints as I heard him laugh. The tears clouded my vision and I didn't see him reach for something. I soon realized what it was as he brought a whip hard against my stomach. I cried against the restraints as he kept whipping me. I felt the welts grow as he continued on relentlessly.

"Commander?" Levi's voice rang out. I felt hope well up in my chest, but much to my dismay, the commander had a plan. He climbed up a ladder that led who knows where, and after a few seconds, his and Levi's voices floated to my ears. I cried hard, all hope of escaping this hell vanishing as the commander came back.

"Where were we?" Erwin asked, his evil smile peeking through the darkness.

I got back on my horse, heading towards the place I always went to clear my head. My old house, underground. I dropped Phoenix off next to the tunnel and ran in, tears streaming my vision. I made it to the house, the hole in the earth that let me look at the sky was covered by some weeds that I hastily tore down. I sat on my broken roof, quietly crying.

"I'm so sorry Mom and Dad. I should have listened to you and not join the Survey Corps. I'm so, so sorry," I whispered, letting my head fall into my lap, staining my clothes. After my tears settled, I looked up at the sky, realizing it was about 6. I wiped my eyes and made my way out of the tunnel.

-flashback

"How did you manage to get into Erwin's squad?" A member of the squad asked.

"I know when to trust people, and I know how to keep myself focused."

Heh, how wrong was I? I don't know when to trust people at all, I thought to myself, mounting Phoenix. She neighed, sensing my upset. I gently pat her and we head to the castle. I reached the walkway and untucked the file that I put under my clothes, well my new clothes that I had to grab. I led Phoenix into her stall and put an apple in her food mill. I walked to my room, ignoring the squad yelling for me to come eat and talk. I locked my door and sat at my desk, opening the file. I scanned the contents and summed it up. My job is to befriend Eren and all his friends. Glorious, I thought to myself, sighing. The scent of Erwin reach my nose and the tears started again, my mind reeling with the images and the feelings running through my head. I grabbed my pajamas and hurried into the shared bathroom. I took a shower, washing about 10 times to at least feel semi-clean. I went back to my room and saw a plate with various food on it and a note. I picked up the note and read,

Payton,

You need to eat something, you haven't eaten all day. I'm here if you need me or if you just need a hug.

~Petra

I smiled and flipped it over.

My office now.

~Captain Levi

I scowled and took a bite out of whatever food was on my plate and walked down the hall. I knocked on his door and he greeted me silently with his eyes. I walked in and he closed the door behind me.

"You wanted me Captain?" I asked, feeling a little light headed.

"Yes, tomorrow a carriage will be here at 8 so you can head to town. Commander wants you to start your mission tomorrow," Levi said, sitting and sipping his tea.

"Alright," I said, slumping into the seat.

"You are to stop at HQ and get your Maneuvering Gear in case of an emergency. The trial is at 3. You will try your best not to be late," he spoke in his monotone voice.

"Yes, Captain," I said. He made a shooing motion with his hand and I stood up, wincing in pain as my clothes shifted against my welts. I bit my lip and walked back to my room. I closed the door and rummaged through my bag, looking for the cream to make the welts heal faster. Ah, here it is, I thought, clutching the white bottle. I lifted up my shirt and rubbed some on my stomach, feeling the sweet relief. I closed the cap, ignoring the welts everywhere else and laid down. My eyes were heavy so I let them flutter shut, falling into sleep.