GRYFFINDOR DORMS

'Damn it, platinum blonde hair, silver grey eyes, lean quidditch toned body, I've got it bad. Think of something else, Snape in a bikini, EW it's like Alan Rickman in a bikini but worse. "

"Harry! Why are you shaking your head?" Ron Weasley asked his best friend alarmingly as Harry continued to shake his head roughly around and around and around.

" I had a disturbing thought"

"Hmm.....would this thought be about Pansy Parkinson?"

"NO!"

"Don't deny it Harry, it's okay you like a Slytherin, I mean sure she looks off but I know love goes through anything."

"Ron I am not in love with Parkinson!"

"It's okay Harry, you can tell me anything, I'm your best friend, I'll stick with you through thick and thin, through sand and stone, through-"

"Ron we aren't getting married." Harry says obviously flustered and quite annoyed at the situation at hand.

"Right mate, but still, I'm your best mate, you know you can tell me anything." Ron smiles knowingly.

'Wait. Back up, back up. ANYTHING...wow, freedom I can do anything with that. I suppose now I can spill the beans.' Harry smiled as looked at his nails.

"I'm Gay"

"..."

"So you finally figured that out, did you now."

"You knew?" Harry raises his eyebrows.

"Of course I did" Ron says haughtily

"YOU knew" Harry clarifies.

"Well Hermione told me. But I'm fine with it."

"Then why Parkinson?"

"Well she's so manly, and I thought that you thought you were straight you might like her"

"Ugh, Parkinson, Nott would be better than her"

Hermione Granger walked in through the portrait hole, with homework in tow.

"Hello boys" She chirped while chewing the end of a sugar quill.

"Hi" and "Hey" were the morbid and happy comebacks from the two boys.

"Hermione, did you know that Harry has just found out that he is gay."

Hermione leaped up and hugged Harry and said " Harry that is fantastic we are very happy you have found yourself, now all you need is someone else, a blonde someone else"

"Who? Colin? Because, mate, although he has a shrine of you, I think you best be careful around that one, and his brother too." Ron offered.

"Really, guys I don't need any help, I just know I don't like anyone with breasts, and I really like guys, but I don't like anyone at the moment, and I don't need you two setting me up"

"So that takes away Toby Rollenstien, he has man boobs the size of Derbyshire"

"How about Draco Malfoy, I know he is a right git and a real prat, but from a male view I think he could be -ugh - attractive, and I know he is gay" Ron joked.

Harry blushed, really blushed, oh god how red can a person get.

"Dear Merlin, you fancy Draco Malfoy!"

"FINALLY Ron did you get what I was saying, I mean he did stare at his arse all morning in potions, and really no fighting?!"

"Well then what are we going to do about it, Malfoy is not exactly the type to go for Harry." Ron said dejectedly

"No," Hermione smiled "Not unless they have a push"

ONWARDS TO THE SLYTHERIN DORMS

"I have to do WHAT!" Draco Malfoy screeched.

"Look Dray, you have to do the work to get the reward, so we will have to do this" Blaise tried to make Draco understand really if he wanted Potter he was being unreasonable.

"B-but I'll look like a fool!"

"All you have to do is shake your arse, and sway your hips, what's the bloody big deal" Blaise was about to run his hands through his hair, thought better of it and smacked Draco on the head.

"Ow! Merlin Blaise, I'll look like a poof!"

"You are a poof" Blaise reminded him.

"Well I don't want to look like one" Draco argued

"You already do you idiot"

"I do...oh god, no one respects me, what will I do, now my life is RUINED!!!" Draco burst into sobs.

"You're such a drama queen, come on princess, let's get back to working on your Potter Master System as you call it"

"Well next I'll have to castrate myself for this stupid plan." Draco muttered while holding onto his parts as to make sure they wouldn't disappear.

Theodore Nott walked in and on seeing the two Slytherins immediately asked "What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm working on my PMS"

"Your PMS, is that w-why, are you sure you don't want me to call Pansy to help you with it"

"Nah, Blaise has been a big help in PMSing"

Theodore Nott had never been more creeped out while he backed out very slowly.

THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM {DORMS} [DORMITORY]

"So like this" Harry said while walking with his hips swaying while he traced a finger around the angular jaw line.

"Perfect" Hermione squealed "He is going to run to you!"

"Mate, with the matter that my girlfriend is a bit hyper happy about gay boys, I think this just might work" Ron said.

"Now all we need is the clothes!!!" Hermione was bursting

"We need Ginny" Ron said immediately. Ron knew that whatever Hermione picked for Harry it wasn't going to be pretty, or handsome.

"I think I can manage this well myself, Ronald Weasley" Hermione mocked.

The boys simultaneously looked at each other and cracked up.

"What! I tell you I am very chic, and quite a fashionista" Hermione held her nose up high.

"Come on let's get Ginny. She'll be a big help." Ron was excited, his best friend was being paired up finally after every girl, even though it was a boy, and a annoying git at that, but he was willing to put it past him, par his friend was happy.

"Ginerva Molly Weasley get your butt down here right now!!!" Ron screamed up the sixth year girls dorms.

"What do you want Billius?" Ginny drawled in a morbid tone.

"We need you to give Harry a hot new look"

"Harry Potter, New Look, Hmm" Ginny put her fingers in a square formation and looked through them and said

"I see green, green, give me green silk, NOW!" Ginny screeched

Ron and Hermione ran to get the silk, they were deathly afraid of the 5 ft 4 in girl.

"So tell me Harry," Ginny purred "for who are you getting this makeover"

"Uh...," Harry was suddenly very uncomfortable, this was his ex girlfriend "Draco Malfoy" he whispered.

"Draco Malfoy." Ginny repeated

"Draco Malfoy"

"DRACO FUCKING MALFOY"

"Uh...yes." Harry said, he was now feeling very small, even though he was the supposed Savior of the Wizarding World.

"Okay" Ginny chirped suddenly very hyper happy.

"Here" Ron said presenting a green bar of silk

"I WANT EMERALD GREEN NOT TEAL, DO YOU NOT SEE HIS EYES, EMERALD PEOPLE, EMERALD!!!" Ginny looked slightly crazy.

"Yes miss!"

LATER IN THE GIRLS DORMS

"Draco Malfoy hmm.... we'll just have to see about that" A girl said holding a bottle of love potion.