A Foolish Faiytale

Same Day – 10am – Nagisa's Point of View

Patchy sky overhangs the busy streets, seen through a dirty back seat window.

I don't want to think of anything right now but pain keeps ferrying back thoughts unbidden.

"I love you...I can't be with you...I really love you...I'm sorry you're not the one for me..."

I experienced heartbreak once and that was painful. How many people are foolish to allow themselves to be heartbroken twice in a row, by the same person!

The taxi moves on from the red light that halted it, but has since winked out. With me is my luggage, neatly and tightly packed into a medium sized light brown leather suitcase. I spent a lot on the tickets there and back. I'll be near broke this term. If only that were the only thing she owed me.

I lean my tousled head against the left window staring listlessly at the sky. I threw everything on her again when she appeared at the Etoile's. Such a brazen declaration. It caused my best friend and I turmoil, but at the time I mistook it for a true declaration of love and not another Shizuma whim. In truth I wonder whether she will ever heal from Kaori; the girl I saw her with yesterday had the same dark hair. That girl also wore a pair of both awed yet competitive eyes. I wonder if my own looked the same? Is that why Shizuma went with me?

I suppose the fact she never really took the time to ask about my background, what I dreamed of, who I am in any detail should have been a warning. Even her letters were about her and rarely sought any information of me; as though she expected the world and me to revolve around her. Like a fool I was still happy to do that thinking that that would be enough; but love doesn't work like that.

A part of me hates the fact I was duped again, yet if she returned a third time some part of me would tug to go back. I hate that too. I hate being that weak. Yet the fact I know my heart would deceive me so means this time I won't be deceived again. I can never go back. Shizuma keeps moving on her own path and so I too must slowly and steadily build my own.

Life was so simple before I came to St Miator's; clumsy trips and mistakes on homework were as complicated as life got. I slump and let my gaze drift back to the scudding pastel grey and dirty white clouds skirting the sky. The taxi continues to plough on towards the outskirts as my eyes slip shut into merciful sleep...

I'm shaking with laughter. A blue haired girl prods my cheeks as fingers mercilessly tease my sides.

"Stop Tamao-Chan. Too much," I'm light and happy and her eyes, a beautiful violet sparkle merrily.

Slap!

A hand hits Tamao's cheek and her body spins away to nothing as her shadow leans over me. Wavy silver hair and a porcelain face that could sink a hundred thousand ships. I used to be enchanted. Now, although it still takes a second, I burrow under the blankets.

"Nagisa..." The voice calls, longing but far off and distant, sorrowful. It's pulling at me. I can't take it anymore! Can't take this happening again!

"Save me someone! Tamao come back! Help me!"

I'm falling and from far off a strongly accented males voice punctuates the dark. The dark becomes light and I realise I'm still in the taxi, which is speeding out into the countryside.

"Are you all right miss?"

"Yes...?" Stupid dream; already I'm only grasping onto fragments. Tamao tickling, Shizuma haunting...

"Only seemed you were having a rough time. You kept calling for a Tamao-chan and started flailing a bit.

"Ahhh...no I'm fine. How far are we from the school?"

"Twenty minutes."

"Thanks." Feeling a prickling from my right eye I raise my right hand and wipe it, surprised to see a glistening stain on its slender back when I remove it from my eye. How long will it take to heal this heart of mine?

I settle down and look at the bright green fields, enhanced by the afternoon sun in the near all blue sky. Only clouds of pure white are frolicking. With some nostalgia I think back to when Tamao used to tease me, when being around her was a joy. I know why it stopped. I know I'm to blame. Even the offer of being President and Vice President would never atone for my abandonment of her at the Etoile's. How foolish an abandonment that seems now. Since then she's been largely lifeless, its awkward to talk for long.

The more I think of it the more bitter-sweet becomes my time with Shizuma, in that order. A broken heart and a poisoned friendship is what she left me with from my fourth year. I watch as a motorbike buzzes by like a bothered insect, shackled by its human rider with jet black, waist long hair flowing from a mousse pink helmet; as I do I wonder whether I can ever love again?

As ever feedback, ideas and corrections are more than welcome; my memory of the end of the manga is a bit fuzzy and I haven't the motivation as of yet to endure the final Chapters again so if I'm off track let me know; a return to Tamao's POV next – Ethereal