Okay. Here's the second chapter. Sorry it took so long! I kept on putting it off, and then I was trying to sleep and suddenly, I had to finish writing this.
I FORGOT TO SAY THIS SO I'M EDITING THIS A.N. : A very special thanks to Lil'Red-killed-wolf and her nutty bars! I'd probably still be drowning in self pity for not writing if you didn't help me with one of the more awesome parts of this chapter!
So anyway, I don't own the lovely book that this fic is based off of. It's all Suzanne Collin's. I would hate to be the writer of Mocking Jay.
Enjoy!
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Peeta P.O.V.
What are you supposed to do when you know you're going to die? You probably aren't supposed to cry, but that's all I can seem to do.
I am going to die. Just for the fun of it, my imminent death will most likely be painful. To top it all off, even my mother doesn't love me and has more faith in my opponent.
Katniss is nice and all, volunteering for her sweet little sister, but I'd thought for a second that my mom might actually care about me. Oh well.
I sat there, head down, hands on my knees. The only thing I manage to do is get my sobbing to be silent.
When I hear the door open, I don't even look up. Who ever it is that has been sent to drag me on the train will have to work to get me off this couch. I'm not going anywhere.
Yet, instead of pulling at my arm, the person sits down next to me. Okay. That's weird.
Does someone else actually want to say goodbye to me? I look up, and my surprise continues to get stronger.
"G-Gale? What are you doing here?" It shames me that my voice shakes and falters. Not in front of him. This might be the last time I get to see him. I should make it count, even if not in the way I want to.
"I'm saying goodbye. Isn't that what's supposed to be happening in here?" His voice is as strong as ever, but it's different. Almost softer, in a way. My heart falters just as much as my voice had.
"Why would you need to say goodbye to me?" I look him in the eye, trying to find the answer, but Gale turns his face away from mine.
He doesn't answer me. This I am used to. Being ignored. Yet, right in this moment, it's killing me.
"It doesn't matter. None of it matters. No matter what, the ending will be the same. Me, dead." I let out a sigh and through my head back, trying to keep more tears from falling. A few escape.
"No." Gale said it so suddenly, I jump.
"No? No what? No to me dying? Why would you even care?" Oh please let him care. But why would he? There was no way he could think about me the way I think about him. No one could think of me that way.
"I just do, Peeta." There it is again. That softness. It gets stronger when he says my name.
Now it seems to be Gale's turn to stare me down. I let him. There is some sort of flicker, a lick of fire in his eyes. I feel his fingers graze mine.
Then I'm holding Gale Hawthorne's hand. I blink once, twice. His eyes are still locked onto mine. Our fingers are laced together, and I grip his a bit tighter, afraid he may let go any moment.
I slide over some, and our knees are touching. A jolt runs up my back. Gale's eyes widen.
"I just care." He whispers lips barely moving. I'm not sure if I imagined it, but then he leans forward. Now I know I didn't imagine it. My imagination couldn't make something so amazing up.
"I'm glad." And I am. Except this feeling is multiplied by ten thousand. Gale smiles at me, and it's filled with that softness.
It makes my heart stop. Only for a second, until I realize that he's smiling at me. That gets it going again.
Why is he smiling at me? And why does it make me feel like this? Wait. I don't care. All that matters right now is the way he's slowly leaning towards me.
He doesn't stop. He leans and leans until that last space between our lips is he's kissing me. Every feeling I've felt since Gale walked into this room is intensified. It absorbs me, and I can't think. All I can do is deepen the kiss.
Who needs air, anyway? Who would need it when someone that you've been longing for actually seems to long for you too? Not me. Air is overrated.
When Gale pulled away, a new look had overcome his face. Determination. I kind of miss the softness.
"You've got to get out of there alive." His voice is filled with that same determination. Hearing Gale tell me this, I realize that I have to. I have to get back. I can't leave Gale like this.
"Okay. Okay, I'll come back." I was nodding, with tears running down my face. I probably look like an idiot.
"No. You have to promise me. You have to. Peeta, I don't think I could live without you." This is crazy. He can't live with me? I'm hardly anything special. Yet, it hurt me to see that look on such a gorgeous face.
"I promise, then. Gale, I promise I'll make it back to you." His expression morphs once again. Now I saw relief. Maybe even happiness. Before anything processes completely, Gale brought our lips back together once more.
I want to stay like that forever. Nothing would make me happier. Gale has to leave, though. We break apart, and there are tears in his eyes now, too.
Gale gets up to leave. As he passes through the doors, he turns back.
"You better keep your promise." Then he's gone. Just like that. My mind starts working through everything that just happened. I was kissing Gale. I promised him I would come back.
Now how am I supposed to do that?
The Peacekeepers escort me out of the Justice Building and into a car. Along the way, I began thinking of ways to make it out of there alive.
It seems hopeless. Especially once I get there, and Katniss is already being mobbed by reporters for her daring volunteer. Isn't Katniss Gale's best friend? I don't want to return without her. It may hurt Gale.
Great. Another person to keep alive. Once the reporters finally notice me, I stand there, not caring what they saw in my face. I can tell my face still has tear stains, but at this point, I don't care.
We both stand there, cameras blinding us and reporters happily buzzing around us. When they let us into the train, I let out a sigh. This is going to be a long ride.
The train is crazy fast. I've never experienced something quite like it, but it feels similar to kissing Gale. Kissing Gale is is better, though.
I hate myself for not telling Gale earlier that I liked him. Now, just when everything has just started, there's a big chance that I will never see him again. I still remember my promise, and I want to keep it so much. How am I supposed to do that? What if it ends up just being me and Katniss or something and then I have to kill her? Will he want me after killing his best friend?
I wouldn't want me. Hell, I wouldn't want me now.
Effie escorts us to our rooms, and they're amazing. Not that I can even truly appreciate having so much space to myself. The only thing I can focus on is Gale. He's the only thing I see as I wander around my chambers. The shower has running hot water, so I decide to take a quick shower before I'm supposed to meet for dinner.
I don't think as I put on my clothes, not even paying attention to how well the jeans fit and how soft the shirt is. If Gale keeps on taking over my mind like this, it could become an issue.
I slowly begin to make my way to the dining car. About halfway there, a drunk Haymitch runs straight into me. My day just keeps getting better.
"You need to learn to watch where you're going." He slurred. Something about this sets me off. I'm not the run that just ran into someone! Still, there is something that makes me not say anything harsh.
"Sorry." I mumble, surprising myself. It almost sounded sincere.
"Eh, Whatever. You'll be dead soon enough anyway." Haymitch breathes into my face. He smells dreadful. It's almost as if he doesn't do anything but drink, not even bathe.
"I'm not dying." I say through clenched teeth. "I'm going to get through this." As I say these words, I realize they're true. One way or another, I will make it back to Gale.
"What? You got someone to go back to?" He spits back at me. "Trust me, if you make it through this, they won't want you." Haymitch actually succeeds at looking me in the eye as the says these words. I almost believe him.
"Yeah. They probably won't." My voice softens. Gale wouldn't want me after this. I'd be just like Haymitch.
"Who?"
"G-Katniss." I didn't know what to do as the words leave my mouth. I didn't want to tell him I was gay, I have no idea how he'd react to that. So I go with the first girl I can think of, and she just happens to be on the train with me.
I don't like the look Haymitch gave me after I say this. Eyebrows raised, mouth turning up into a smirk. Then this look in his eyes as if some sort of plan has just formed.
"Well then. This is going to be interesting. Excuse me, I need to go take a nap." Oh great. He heard me. I thought he may have been too drunk. While walking away, he weaves down the hallway, running into the walls every now and again.
What is he thinking? He must have some sort of plan, and it most likely has to do with my most recent false love confession. But then, I doubt Haymitch will remember anything if he ever gets sober.
Rolling my eyes, I turn back and start back towards the dining car. My stomach rumbles. Hopefully, nothing else will happen on what was supposed to be a short walk.
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Ack! That took me way too long. It's nearly five. In the morning.
However, I am still terribly sorry if I update slow...
Review and I'll describe my review happy dance!