The College Prep

A Fairy Tail Fanfic Created By Shaturu

Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima is the rightful owner of Fairy Tail and all characters and concepts associated with it.

Chapter 2: Ren's Amazing First-Class Tour

"Yes mom, I know…" Jellal insisted with exasperation, ignoring his mother's objections and exerting great effort in wrestling with her towards the open car door. "Now get..." He breathed, shoving the woman flailing in his arms across the curb, "in…" he growled, budging her forward and kicking her into the driver's seat of the van, "the car!" he grunted, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

"But honey─!" she protested, gritting her teeth and desperately clinging onto the door knob.

"Mom…!" Jellal grumbled, frantically grappling with his mother in order to restrain her from escaping the vehicle. "Stop stop stop stop stop!" he urged, frenziedly throwing his hand over the chrome door lock, grunting as she scratched and slapped at his fingers.

"Honey!" Shouted the overweight Mr. Fernandes in an authoritative tone from the passenger's seat, "Calm down, calm down!" he breathed, struggling to hold her back while she continued to thrash about like a mad woman.

"Let go…" Mrs. Fernandes growled, flinching and fiercely kicking and slapping at her two opponents, "of me!" she shouted, using her purse in smacking Jellal several times on the forehead, who cursed and clasped his aching head in defeat while her husband retreated after a hard kick in the gut, wincing and gasping in pain.

"Ouch…" Jellal complained, clutching onto his red-colored forehead and gritting his teeth in pain.

His mother's brows puckered into a frown. Hmph!"Serves you right, young man!" she shot back curtly, folding her arms, turning away from him and staring out the windshield poutily.

"God…" Jellal panted, "Mom, you're going to have to let me go…"

"Like Hell I do!"

"Jennifer…" Mr. Fernandes wheezed, "he's got a point…" he coughed, hunching over. "Just let him go…" snort.

"You too?" She asked, astonished. "Geez what a husband you are…" she said in a persnickety manner.

"Thanks dad," said Jellal, still caressing his forehead.

"Just doing my job…" his father replied, bending forward more. "She's insane anyways" he coughed, smirking as he earned himself a hard smack on the shoulder.

Mrs. Fernandes looked over at her son through the side window, narrowing her eyes and glaring at him intensely for a few moments. She then started the ignition, placing her hands on each side of the steering wheel.

"Whatever," she snapped back, composing herself and placing her foot over the pedal. "Just make sure you brush your teeth," she said, the engine rumbling. "And floss… don't forget to floss!" she scolded, pointing a finger at him through the window.

Sigh"Yes mom I know…" Jellal replied exasperatedly, looking away from the vehicle with an irritated expression on his face.

"Be a good boy now!" his mother called over the engine, his father throwing in his share of last-minute and-if-you're-going-to-have-sex-wear-a-condom advice. "We love you!" she shouted, the van departing at last.

Jellal sighed. "God I hope no one heard that..." he muttered, his eyes following the Honda driving off into the distance, knocking over a series of trash and recycle bins lined up along the opposing sidewalk.

"Interesting parents you have there," came a familiar voice from behind, causing him to jump and go huh?in surprise.

"Soooo.. this is your first year huh?" asked Ren, sticking his hands into his pockets.

Ahh! Jellal immediately raised his arms over his head defensively, flinching nervously as he took a step back. "Please don't cut me please don't cut me!" he squealed, his body trembling in place.

"Cut you?" he repeated, surprised. "Ohhhh you mean that?" he went on, recalling the events of earlier that day. "Don't worry, no hard feelings man. It's all good," he said reassuringly, nodding his head.

Jellal lowered his guard slightly, still trembling a bit. "R-really?" he fidgeted, unsure of whether to believe him or not.

"Pssshhht," Ren spat, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm not one to hold grudges… besides, were bros aren't we?" he asked, offering his hand out with a slick smile.

Jellal looked at his dark-skinned roommate for a moment, deciding whether or not to hold his offer as true. And then, after a brief stare-off, he nodded affirmatively.

"Bros," Jellal answered, shaking hands and bumping fists.

"Now…" Ren began, pivoting around Jellal and casually swinging his arm over his shoulder, "you're new here, right?" he asked, peering up at the front of the illustrious school and wincing in the hot, gleaming sunlight.

"Yeah," Jellal responded, looking in the same direction as Ren. "First year here."

"Well then… I think you're in need of an appropriate, proper introduction, my friend," he replied spiritedly, a hot-shot smile forming upon his lips.

Jellal raised his left brow, turning his head towards his dark-haired partner in search of more information. "What sort of introduction?" he asked.

"Heh…" started Ren, a smug grin extending across his face "I call it…" he began, raising his hand out before them, beholding the sight of the large, densely populated main campus.

Jellal's eyes followed, tracing the direction in which Ren swept his hand horizontally across the crowded schoolyard.

"Ren's Amazing First-Class Tour."

"First stop," Ren began, a chorus of chattering, gossiping and other discourse breaking out as they entered the wide area, "the cafeteria."

Footing into the grand area and inhaling the intoxicating smell of delicious food, Jellal spared a moment to survey and familiarize himself with the lunchroom.

The light-filled, populous commons (which smelled of hot biscuits and steaming turkey soup) was an immense, two-story dining hall painted in various shades of cordovan and sand-brown, comprising of several dozens of circular, auburn-colored tables each accompanied with four medium brown, upright oak chairs. At the far north-eastern corner of the lower section of the area resided a designated area titled Berry's Deli, well-known for its scrumptious club sandwiches and fresh banana bread muffins; served nice and tasty to its educated customers. Existing at the opposite end was Francesco's Pizza, a popular joint hosting a large variety of exceptional Italian goods. Directly above, arranged atop the second floor and bordered in a dark railing was Tahashi's Yakiniku, best-known for its charismatic chef, Mr. Toriyama, (Goshujin-sama) rather than its splendid grilled meat.

"Hungry?" Ren asked, taking a step towards the scented dessert counter. "Then reward yourself with one of these fantastic delicacies," he said, helping himself to some mochi, which he then stuffed into his mouth. "Mmm.. Mochi ice cream" he mumbled delightedly, serving himself another. "Delicious."

Jellal followed suite, approaching the counter and nodding at the chef, then reaching his hand out and grabbing hold of a medium-sized, strawberry-flavored rice cake which he began to devour.

"As you can see," he said as he turned away from the counter, chewing down and swallowing the rest of his bite-sized snack, "the lunchroom is split into two sections: the lower commons, where we are" he continued, cough, "and the upper commons," he went on, looking towards the second floor, "where, obviously, we aren't."

Jellal, his mouth full of mochi, simply nodded with a muffled mhm.

"Here's how it works…" he continued, stepping forward and leading him into the center of the packed lunchroom, "rookies, greenhorns, and other small fry like you, stay down here," he said, while the big boys… like myself," he added smugly, "kick it upstairs."

Jellal, wanting to say something, scarfed down the remains of his snack. "So I can't… swallow... go upstairs?" he asked.

Ren's response was quick. "Yup," he said. "You see… the students here at MU are bound by a social contract," he began, seating himself at an empty table, Jellal sitting just across from him. "An implicit agreement among the members of a society to cooperate for social benefits," he added with emphasize.

He received somewhat of an odd look from Jellal, who seemed bewildered by his professional choice of words.

"Dictionary."

"Ah."

"Anyways," Ren continued, his hands clasped together along the surface of the table as he spoke. "As a student, you are bound by this unwritten agreement. There is no escaping it…" he went on in a serious manner, "there are no loopholes."

"Then how am I supposed to get any yakiniku?" Jellal asked.

"You don't."

Gasp.

"And if you happen to violate the contract…" Ren began, looking up and around the lunchroom nervously.

Jellal's eyes widened. "What happens?" he asked, horrified.

Ren looked back at Jellal, bringing his voice to a whisper.

"…Castration…"

Right there Jellal lost his appetite. The color in his face paled a few shades as he suddenly felt the urgent need to cover his private area.

Their next destination (reeking of mothballs, stale perfume, and strong cologne) was rather quiet and deserted in contrast with the school's lively cafeteria, and less than a fourth the size. The noiseless area, colored in shades of grays and reds, was decked with several rosewood aisles, all containing wide selections of books; magazines; dictionaries; comics; encyclopedias; and other sorts of reading material suitable for the various needs of each individual student. In the far northeastern corner of the space resided the common study area, which was a spot consisting of several round, wooden tables accompanied by generic schoolhouse chairs in which sat students engaged in their studies or simply surfing the internet using the free wi-fi to their advantage. Lastly, stationed in the west center was the librarian's counter, where a group of terribly foul-smelling old people sat wondering what was with death's delay.

"This is the main library," Ren said in a low, whisper tone upon entering the large, book-filled area.

Jellal sniffed his nose with an unpleasant, disgusted look on his face. "Smells like mothballs and stale perfume" he whispered, his eyes watering as if someone had slammed a hammer on his toe as he were cutting onions.

"Well that's because..." said Ren, walking him down the Woman's Magazine aisle and searching for a fascinating issue, "old people smell like shit," he coughed, peeking around in hopes that none of the half-dead librarians heard his comment.

Jellal made a low whistle and turned around, facing the opposite book stand, which contained an assortment of car magazines.

"Can I help you with something?"

Ren yelped and jumped in surprise, quickly concealing the playboy magazine (special Kardashian edition) behind his back as he turned to face the young, blue-haired lady before them. "H-hi Levy!" he said nervously, clutching onto the magazine behind him.

Jellal looked away from his classic car magazine, towards the short girl in the red reading spectacles who dawned a loose-fitting bright-yellow blouse, casual black slacks, and a warm, cheery smile.

"Ren!" It's been a while!" she exclaimed happily, looking up at him (for he was much taller than herself) and then taking notice in his guilt. "I see you have quite the taste in books..." she teased with a naughty grin.

"What? what are you talking about?" he asked, startled. "I was j-just inspecting to make sure everything was appropri─

"Yeah, yeah," she interrupted, waving her hand and disregarding his excuse. "Anyyyyways," she said, smiling and adjusting her specs, "who's your friend?" she asked curiously, looking at Jellal.

"I'm─"

"He's Jellal," Ren cut in. "He's new here," he said.

"Jellal?" She repeated, a bit astonished. "Wow that is a really cool name!" she exclaimed. "I'm super jealous."

Flattered, he scratched at the back of his head. "Well it isn't that cool... just another name," he replied modestly.

"And your hair.." she went on, "its so... blue!" she declared eagerly. "I just loooove that color," she said, holding a short stack of books up against her breast. "Can't you tell?"

Jellal nodded. He was taking a liking to this girl. Perhaps it had something to do with their matching hair color.

"Oh! I nearly forgot to introduce myself!" she said astonished, clasping her hands to her cheeks. "I'm Levy, Levy McGarden," she said, smiling and offering her hand out.

"Nice to meet you, Levy," Jellal greeted, shaking her hand with a smile.

She nodded, and then looked over at Ren once again. "Anyways, what are you doing, lurking around here Ren? I know it isn't a habit of yours."

And before he could respond, she answered her own question.

"Oh wait! Is this another one of those 'Ren's Super Fantastic Tour' things?" she asked, lifting a finger.

Ren exhaled, turning away slightly. "Ren's Amazing First Class Tour..." he sighed, "you get that mixed up every time."

Levy slapped herself on the forehead. "Right..."

"Well I should get going now.." she continued, crudely gathering her supplies. "Unfortunately, Mr. Azuma has little patience.." she said, excusing herself and moving passed them. "Catch you later Ren... she said as she made her way out the aisle. "And it was nice meeting you Jellal! Enjoy the tour!" she called out before vanishing into the western exit.

"She's nice," said Jellal, staring off.

"That's Levy for you... now, anyways" continued Ren. "We got more places to go to."

"Like?"

"The swimming pool!" Ren (now in nothing but a pair of red swimming trunks) shouted over from up above, climbing up a long white ladder leading to the top of the higher dive board, which hovered about ten feet over the pool.

"When did you change into that!" Jellal roared from below, who stood along the tiled edge of the deeper side of the pool, the smell of chlorine filling his nostrils.

Ren wobbled a bit from the tip of the diving board as he strapped on his hot-pink goggles, preparing himself to hop off in a dramatic fashion, and by doing so impress the young ladies across the room.

"Just watch… and learn…" he said confidently. He then bent forward, sticking his butt out and shaking it for a moment as he brought his hands out together with a clap. "Surf's up!"

ssssssssss.

"Where are we now?" Jellal asked, his voice echoing off the enclosing walls surrounding them.

"The bathroom," replied Ren, who looked to his right at Jellal as he maintained his urination. "Taking a piss break."

Jellal nodded, looking down at himself and monitoring his 'progress'. "Is this part of the tour?"

Ren shook his head. "Just taking a piss my friend."

"And here...!" Ren started, raising his voice to compete with the sounds produced by an ongoing basketball game, "we have the gymnasium!"

The comprehensive, rectangular arena, bordered in sets of burgundy bleachers and wrapped in cadet gray walls, was quite luxurious in appearance. The 94 by 50 foot expanse consisted of a wide, hardwood floor constructed of maple planks running in the same direction as the longer court dimensions. At the center circle of the stage was the school team's name and logo (Magnolia Wolves), which shone brightly under the indoor stadium lights connecting with the ceiling overhead. At each end of the long court existed league-standard, ten-foot-high basketball hoops, each containing rims of precisely 18 inches in diameter. Lastly, occupying the court were various female basketball players engaged in an intense practice game of hoops.

Jellal stood aside Ren at the entrance, his eyes following the players as they strode back and forth across the court dribbling the basketball, their shoes screeching along the hardwood floor.

"Looks like we're just in time for the end of the fourth quarter…" said Ren with a grin, who folded his arms while he entertained himself with watching the women. "The Magnolia Wolves…" he stated with a sigh of pleasure, "hot girls in short-shorts."

Jellal watched in awe as ten, sweating, beautiful girls, breasts bouncing with their struggles, fought amongst themselves to score points for their respective teams. His eyes involuntarily traced their thick legs, reaching up their juicy thighs and sliding underneath their not-so-well-concealing auburn short-shorts, which allowed for him to witness their black panties every now and then while they continued to shoot baskets.

Then rang the buzzer.

"Nice gym…" he mumbled.

Ren stared a bit longer before speaking. "You watching Erza?" he asked plainly.

"Who?"

"Her…" he said, pointing his finger towards a particular scarlet-haired girl standing along the court.

Jellal couldn't believe he missed her.

She was, by far, the most beautiful of them all. She was of a slight tan, slender, large-breasted, and of average height. Her hair, up in an elegant ponytail and extending down close to her waist, was of a captivating shade of bright scarlet. Her shorts stretched just an inch or two below her large bottom, and the black tank top she wore hugged against her belly, which appeared as a slight (but noticeable) curve in her midsection. Not taking notice of her admirer, she stood in place, her arms folded just below her bosom as she spoke with one of her teammates.

"Erza Scarlet…" began Ren, pulling Jellal out of his hypnotized state. "All-star athlete hot babe extraordinaire," he said, stiffening upright. "She's hot, and she's got one hell of a fiery attitude to match it," he went on, turning his head and looking over at his blue-haired friend. "But she's untouchable."

"Untouchable?" Jellal repeated.

Ren nodded. "That's right. She's taken."

"By who?"

But before Ren had time to give him an answer, they were interrupted by the sudden emergence of someone from just behind the two of them.

"Just what do you two think you're doing here?" demanded an intimidating voice.

Simultaneously, both Jellal and Ren jolted upright of surprise and immediately spun around, shrieking in a high-pitched manner similar to that of a small girl and jumping back and shouting at the same time:

"Erza!"

Arms folded, she stood before them, leaning the majority of her weight onto her right leg and staring at them plainly through her deep, chocolate-brown eyes.

"You two shouldn't be here," she said flatly, her eyelids closing to complement her irritation. Sigh"Can you not see that we are conditioning?" she chided.

Ren was the one who replied. "Well, you see, I was just giving my friend here.. who's new to the school and all, a tour of the area, and─"

"There's nothing to see here," she interrupted curtly. "Now get going."

"My thoughts exactly!" replied Ren with a salute, hastily urging and shoving Jellal forward from behind. "We'll be going now!" he called out cheerily, forcing the protesting Jellal through the hall and out of the gymnasium.

Erza, chewing her gum, wasted a moment to look back at the two bothersome dimwits, seeing as Ren frantically pushed his blue-haired friend out from the gym.

"Idiots."

Next Chapter on the Way!