In Paradisum Chapter 2: Eyes of Etro, a final fantasy xiii-2 fanfic

Title: In Paradisum

Chapter: 2 - Eyes of Etro

Authoress: A Study in Elegant Death

Warnings: Mild to strong language, same gender pairings, violence, sexual references, character deaths.

Theme: An alternate to the original event, mistakes; I strongly suggest you listen to KOKIA's Daiji na Mono wa Mabuta no Ura while reading this. I consider that In Paradisum's theme song.

A/N: This was a bit harder for me to write. I don't know what went wrong. So if this sounds awkward to you at all, I apologise. The next chapter will be better.

Authoress's Question to Ponder: Serah passed under Etro's gaze and received her eyes. Noel also passed under Etro's gaze, but he doesn't have the eyes. Why is this?

In Paradisum

Eyes of Etro

A Study in Elegant Death

"You and I are the same. You, too, can show others the way."

-Paddra Nsu-Yeul

It is cold and dark. The sky is grey, but there are no clouds. The freezing wind rushes past with fury. Golden strips of Etro script surround the buildings of Academia, large rings of green appearing in the places once the strips vanish. A sapphire-coloured gate appears in the sky, and through it, emerges the chaos of Valhalla.

The empty shell that was once Cocoon isn't spared. As it lay on the surface of Gran Pulse, the chaos envelops it. The new home of the now doomed human race receives the same cruel fate. The blackness ravages the broad plains of Gran Pulse, tainting the rivers, killing the vegetation, and frightening the wildlife to flee.

All the while, a voice played. Like an intercom over the mayhem taking place, telling the poor sinners that were given the name 'humans' why they had received such punishment.

"The Heart of Chaos beats in my chest - a manifestation of Etro. Should this heart stop beating, the goddess will die once again. When the goddess dies, the chaos of Valhalla is unleashed. The chaos has the power to warp the timeline, and destroy the past."

Suddenly, he feels as if he is floating. The sight of pandemonium blurs, and the voice fades. Except now, there's another voice. A different one - one of a female. Light explodes in his vision.

Then, he opens his eyes.

"-ake up! Come on, talk to me! Wake up! Can you hear me?"

The crest of the goddess had long disappeared from his sky blue eyes, and as his eyes opened, a pink-haired figure stood over him. Noel sat up quickly, but soon regretted it. Pain formed behind his eyes, and he placed a hand on the side of his head. "Serah?" Said girl moved in front of him, holding his wrists tightly.

"I'm here. What did you see?" she asked worriedly, yet that hint of curiosity was still there. Noel refused to look at her, and instead down at the golden platform.

They were currently in Academia, chasing down Caius. The city was distorted, with floating panels and staircases moving in a distinct pattern from one end of the city to the other. It was 500 AF, the day when Cocoon was supposed to fall. Hope's new Cocoon was at the ready, and would be lifted when the paradox was solved. That was Noel and Serah's job. They were going to track down Caius and defeat him before he could kill the goddess. In other words, they had to travel to Valhalla, where Lightning was waiting for them. He hated the thought of having to fight Caius, but if it would save Serah's loved ones, he was willing to do anything.

Noel stood up slowly, Serah rushing to help, and dusted himself off. "Nothing. At least, I hope so," he replied simply. Serah crossed her arms over her chest.

"So, what is 'nothing', exactly?" she asked, leaning over to look him in the eyes. So, reluctantly, Noel started explaining. As he talked, he noticed her expression changing from fearful, to surprised, and finally to nothing but a small smile. And also, as he talked, he realised how bad it truly sounded. If that was the fate of the world, then something must have gone wrong. Did they fail to defeat Caius? Or was the goddess already doomed?

The vision scared him a bit, he silently admitted, but he wasn't about to let Serah know that. He had to be strong for her, at least until they found Lightning, or maybe even Snow. The name brought back sour memories, but even so, he was worried that maybe he wasn't going to be able to protect Serah. Not if his 'gift' destroyed him first.

So, with a pep talk from Serah ("You worry too much, Noel!"), they continued. She didn't seem too worried about it - in fact, she seemed rather uncaring. He figured it was because she was so certain they were going to change the future for the better. Or maybe, she was just putting up a good front. Nothing seemed to scare her anymore, and he was a bit envious. He thought about things a lot more than she did. And just maybe, his mind was working a bit more than it needed to.

The labyrinth of Academia 500 AF was easy to get through. There had been several times when Serah had tripped or almost fallen, but luckily for her, Noel was quick on his feet and always there to help. As they reached a center platform, Yeul spoke to them. "No, stop. You must not go this way. The goddess cannot be killed," she told them softly. Serah looked to Noel with uncertainty, then down at the ground. That was when Pacos Luvulite and Amethyst appeared before them. All the while fighting them, Noel and Serah were distracted by the voice of the seeress, and so the battle turned out to be a bit more devastating than they thought it would. But, nevertheless, they had continued.

At last the end of the maze had come, and Yeul spoke to them yet again. "No. You must not fight Caius." Clouds of chaotic energy formed at their feet, and Noel and Serah took a few steps back. Serah turned to her companion.

"Noel, did you hear that?"

"Your path only leads to evil and despair. It's not too late. You can still turn back."

Instead of answering Serah, Noel took a few steps forward. He was tired of being told what to do and what not to do. This was all confusing him - if they defeated Caius, evil and despair would be brought upon the world; but if they didn't kill him... then Caius would kill the goddess and the world would suffer from the same fate? "Yeul, what do you mean?" he yelled. "What's going to happen?"

"A cruel fate. Endlessly repeated, with no hope of release. I cannot see any future."

"You're wrong. I believe in hope!" Noel shouted in reply. He hated it when Yeul was cryptic. She knew what was going to happen - why wasn't she explaining it to them, instead of handing out riddles?

"But what if hope does not exist?"

Noel looked down at this. No... he couldn't leave, abandon the journey like this. He couldn't do that to Serah, or to the world. "I can't turn back now. Not anymore. In my world, you no longer exist. A world without you is no world at all!"

"I do not have the power to stop you. The choice must be yours, and yours alone."

A pathway materialised nearby, granting them access to the Academy building. Was she allowing them to continue now? Noel sighed. Serah, who stood next to him, caught on to the confusion in the air.

Were they not supposed to kill Caius or not? Was Yeul just acting on her own emotions? Somehow, she doubted the latter. Yeul appeared cold and distant, and even though they knew she cared deeply for Caius, she also cared for the fate of the world. If leaving Caius be meant the world was going to succumb to a horrible fate, she doubted Yeul would be telling them to turn back. But, didn't she tell them that they were doing the right thing, back in Augusta Tower?

"We should go," she placed a hand on Noel's shoulder, speaking softly. "Or do you want to turn back?"

"Are you sure... that we should continue? If that's true... you could die," Serah breathes, hands clasped over her heart. Even with the short time they have spent, she realises something: she doesn't want to see the man who cares for her more than his own life die because he tried to protect her. She hadn't known what the visions meant - she hadn't even known of the Eyes of Etro until she had met Yeul. But now, Serah is speechless.

He wants to continue.

Of course, she is certain that, was it her with the Eyes, she would want to continue in hope of reaching Valhalla. But unlike her, Noel had no goals like that. Is that the reason why, she wonders. Is it because he has nothing to leave behind? The thought made her want to cry. He is only determined to get Serah to Lightning, and other than finding his Yeul - something he deemed impossible now - he has no life ahead of him. Caius will be dead, since it is up to them to stop him. Of course, he can always settle with us, Serah thinks. "The future, your future, is all I care about. I don't care what happens to me," he says quietly. "We will change the future, Serah."

And then, he walks away.

But all the while, as they walk back to the Farseers' relic, she worries. She worries over what will happen to the world after they defeat Caius, and what will become of Noel. Will he die? Or will they be able to beat the clock that ticks down the seconds until his death? She doesn't know, and it scares her. What will become of Etro? Noel wants to protect her, as does Lightning. Sighing inwardly, she makes a decision.

I can't let them down, she says silently. We have to change the future - for everyone's sake.

Smiling, Serah shook her head. "No. We're going to change the future, no matter what. We made a promise, and I won't break it," she replied bravely. Noel nodded in concordance, and they continued on their path.

Hurriedly, they crossed the pathway Yeul created for them, and rushed to the Academy building. Overhead, Chaos Bahamut flew - it was Caius. Noel pulled out his swords at an offending behemoth stationed in front of the doors. "Serah, get down!" a voice suddenly shouted, and both Serah and Noel ducked out of the way of a few projectile bombs, which effectively killed the creature. Hope jumped off the airship, boomerang in hand. "Good, you're okay."

Noel gave a cocky smile, crossing his arms. "'Course we are. Just took a little detour." Hope laughed softly.

"Get on board. He's the best pilot we have." He pointed in the direction of the airship, and both time-travelers nodded. Once Noel and Serah had jumped off, Serah yelled down to the pilot.

"We're on!"

"Hang on up there, kids! You're on the Sazh express to the sky!"

Serah smiled upon hearing the pilot's name. "Sazh? Is that you?" she asked rhetorically. From what Hope had told them, Sazh had disappeared a while ago - into a paradox, or so they thought. It was great to know that he was alright.

"Hey, Serah! Dajh says he misses your classes!" At this, Serah giggled, remembering the few times she had taught Dajh a few things about Cocoon while Sazh was in town. He needed to know the injustice that his superhero, as Dajh thought he was, of a father brought down. Or maybe Dajh was just interested in what the bad guys were like. Noel looked to Serah, questioning in his eyes.

"Friend of yours?" Serah nodded, when suddenly, the ship rocked violently. Chaos Bahamut flew close overhead, stopping just in front of the two.

"We can catch up later! First, we've got a planet to save," Sazh said finally, and Serah raised her weapon.

"A fight for the future, right, Noel?"

"This is it." Noel looked up at the monster, eyes narrow. "Let's go, Caius. You wanna see how well you trained me? This is your chance!"

XIII-2

The sky was tearing apart. A large hole emerged in front of the many airships - and where it led, say one was to fall in, was none other than Valhalla. Without second thoughts, the two jumped in, following closely behind Chaos Bahamut. Noel had a tight grip on Serah's hand, just in case the fall wasn't as smooth as he hoped it would be. At last, the grey shores of Valhalla were visible, along with the tower where Etro lay sleeping. And once again, they were falling, the ground fast approaching.

Lightning saved them. Or rather, it was Odin. Serah was quick to recognise the Eidolon, and pointed the fact out. Lightning was helping them yet again. Once Odin had reached the ground, the two jumped off, and Caius stood in front of them, waiting. "Here in Valhalla..." he began, drawing up his sword, chaos swirling at his feet. "The chaos is my ally. Now, we shall decide the true history!"

The next few moments were chaos for their minds. Caius attacked relentlessly, and sometimes, it seemed, from multiple positions at once. Noel tried hard to keep their defensive buffs up and occasionally attacked, while Serah focused more on healing and only so often getting an attack in. It was no use. He was far too strong. Noel took up his swords once again and went in for another strike, parrying with the Guardian before being pushed back. This time, he fell to one knee. "You cannot kill me. Not now," Caius stated, voice cold and emotionless.

"Noel! Ready?" Serah shouted, charging at Caius. Noel stood, nodding.

"Together now!" Serah sliced at Caius' side, and Noel aimed in the general area of his right shoulder. Caius jumped back, lifting his sword to effortlessly block both attacks. But Noel wasn't going to have any of that. He struck again, only to hit Caius' sword. Again, he attacked. "Do you think any of this will make Yeul happy?" he yelled.

"Which Yeul are you talking about?" Caius asked - a rhetorical question. "I've known and protected hundreds of Yeuls! Although they had the same soul, every one of them was unique! A Yeul who dreamed of travel! A Yeul who loved to sing! A Yeul who collected flowers. They all died. All of them, before my eyes!" Grief stricken, Caius struck back. It was less balanced, not as coordinated - emotion driven. He wanted to hit something, just to drain his anger.

Noel blocked, drive to kill this man having died. "But despite that, she chose to live again... so she could be with you," he stated sadly. "Think, Caius. Think. Was it really a curse? Was it forced on her by Etro? Do you really think that Yeul wanted to die, and not come back? Of course not. Yeul wanted to come back. Every time she died in your arms, she wanted to come back," his voice trailed off at that. Noel pointed his sword at Caius, not as a threat, but as emphasis. "She knew next life would be short... She knew! Because she wanted to see you! Again and again, without end!" And thus, their dual began again.

"Enough, no more. Lies!"

"Why won't you believe me?"

XIII-2

"We must free Yeul. Kill me."

Noel kept his ground, keeping his sword pointed at his former friend - and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was angry. He just didn't get it. Yeul wasn't cursed. She loved Caius with all her heart. Even if she died, as long as she was with Caius, nothing else mattered. But Caius wanted more. He wanted for Yeul to live, and be with him forever.

"Even if it were for Yeul's sake... I wouldn't want to kill you."

Caius looked up, but not at Noel. He looked past the brunette, at Serah, a smirk on his lips. "Lightning is dead. I killed her with my own hands. Will you allow me to go unpunished?"

Serah took a step forward, but Noel held out an arm, blocking her path. "He's lying," he told her simply. Caius struggled to stand, that smirk still remaining.

"In Valhalla, time does not flow as it should. Long before we began our battle, I had already faced her," Caius told them, eyes still on the teacher. "Now she sleeps never to wake. Things that shall happen in your future have already been decided... in my own past. I know how it begins, and how it ends," he stated. Noel sighed. He wasn't making any sense. He was trying to provoke Noel into killing him - maybe if Lightning was his own sister, and he had the mindset of Serah, he would have attacked already.

"Then you should know that you can't provoke me," Noel shook his head. "No matter how hard you try, I am not going to kill you."

"That's right. You hate to kill anyone, don't you? Noel, born at the end of days. You understand the true value of life. But know this," Caius glared. "You will kill me, Noel." Caius swung his sword into the air, a wave of sand launching into the air. Serah fell backwards, an arm protecting her face.

"Caius!"

Noel moved swiftly, taking up one sword to block, and another to slice at the air near Caius' face. Caius jumped backwards, avoiding the small blade, only to have it once again strike at him.

The moment I cease to be, Yeul shall be released from her curse.

"Give it up. I won't do it."

Noel dug his foot into the sand, halting his movement in a split second. The point of his blade remained dangerously close to Caius' heart - centimetres away. In the few seconds that their eyes were locked, Noel felt his heart give way. He didn't want to kill Caius. He knew it was all for the future, but Caius was his friend - and this was betrayal.

"Impressive." Caius took Noel's blades in both hands, catching the brunette off guard. Noel struggled for hold on it - he knew what Caius wanted to do, and he wasn't going to let him kill himself. "He who can change time must choose between those who die, and those who live. You must bear the burden... of the eternal paradox!"

XIII-2

"I... never wanted to hurt anyone. No one deserves to die... not even you, friend."

Noel dug the tip of Caius' sword into the ground, sorrow in his eyes. The body of the man he once knew disappeared along with his sword, and Noel's hands dropped gracelessly to his sides. Caius' words stung in his mind, and Noel closed his eyes. "Farewell..."

A moment later, gates started appearing around them. Mog flew forward, wings flapping in his happiness. "You've resolved the final paradox, kupo!" he told them. Serah turned to Noel hurriedly, eyes full of worry.

"You didn't... see anything, did you, Noel? I mean, when the future changed? Any pain at all?" she asked quickly. Noel laughed, giving her a smile.

"No. I'm fine," he replied simply. "The gates will disappear soon. We should go. Everyone will be waiting, right?" Noel smiled. Serah nodded enthusiastically.

And as they passed through the gate, all feelings of uncertainty disappeared. They had done it. They changed the future! Serah smiled brightly, brushing her hair out of her face. She couldn't wait to see Snow and Lightning again. Hope would be there too, waiting for their safe return to join them on the new ark. Vanille and Fang would be alright, too. She couldn't hide her excitement, as if she even wanted to. Noel could settle down with them, too! And since the future was safe, he wouldn't have to see any more visions, and he wouldn't have to die.

A rush of wind passed over her, and Serah opened her eyes, not having noticed that she closed them. They were falling - above Academia, with Bhunivelze in sight. She looked back at her partner. "We did it, Noel!" she called happily.

"We changed the future!" he called back.

"Kupo!" Mog chimed in.

"Hey, look, the heroes are back!" an intercom sounded, and Serah looked down at the airship. It was Sazh! Serah smiled, even if he couldn't see it. She landed smoothly, falling onto one knee before turning to meet Noel. His feet hit the floor and he slowed himself to a stop before hitting the metal top of the airship.

"Nice catch!" he shouted down to Sazh.

"Welcome home!"

"Thanks," Noel replied. He stood up straight now, looking over the edge of the airship. Everything looked so bright - in contrast to how it looked before, when they doubted themselves and their ability to change the future. But things were alright now. It would be nice to see everyone again - he wanted to thank Lightning most of all, for giving him another purpose in life. And as much as he strongly disliked the man, Serah wanted to see Snow, and Noel couldn't wait to see a genuine smile on her face again.

Serah turned to look at the gate they had fallen out of to see it disappear before her eyes. "The gates are closing... It's the end of our journey," she whispered, but not sadly. Even if they had to live in Academia, five-hundred years past her time, she was with her family, and that was all that mattered. And Noel was part of that now, too. For the first time in a long time, she was happy - but the moment, it was fleeting, and she was none the wiser.

It was all thanks to him that she had come this far, Serah thought. If he hadn't entered her life and brought her on this journey, she'd still be in New Bodhum, wishing for the impossible. Serah turned to Noel, hands clasped behind her back. "Hey, Noel?" The brunette turned to her at his name. "Thank you..." Her words drifted off at one look into his eyes. They were unfocused - looking through her, rather than at her. But something was wrong. "Noel?"

Then, it struck her.

"No... no, you can't! Please, no!" Desperately, she grabbed his shoulders. Small whimpers of pain escaped his lips, and she called out his name again. He couldn't be having a vision! Not now, not when the future was-

Etro's crest - it appeared over his sky blue eyes, just as it had in Academia before.

Three figures stand on the shores of Valhalla. One, a female, and two others, two males - they were fighting. A man dressed in black strikes at the female, while the other male quickly moves to guard and strike back. Now standing in front of the female, the man holds his blade at the man in black's heart.

"Impressive," the man in black says cockily. Then, he grabs hold of the blade, while the owner of it struggles for his grip. "He who can change time must choose between those who die, and those who live. You must bear the burden... of the eternal paradox!" The blade is forced into his chest - into his cursed heart. Slowly, slowly, the beating stops, and the man in black falls to the ground. He is dead.

"Caius!" the now lone man shouts.

And in the tower beyond the shores on which they stand, Etro ceases to be. The goddess is dead, and her warrior sleeps in a prison of stone, never to rise, never to live again.

"I... killed... the goddess?" Noel choked out as the crest disappeared. Guilt overcame him as he lost his ability to stand any longer, and he fell into Serah's arms. The last thing he heard was Serah, yelling his name, commanding him to wake up. Her tears fell onto his cheek, and he wished for her not to cry. She didn't deserve to be sad anymore.

Tears rapidly spilled from her eyes as she held Noel's lifeless body in her arms. She yelled for him to come back, but he didn't. His eyes never opened. He never moved. "Why... why did he have to die? What did we do wrong?" Serah muttered, head down in defeat. Behind her, she heard footsteps, but she didn't react.

"Serah?"

She just couldn't take it. "The future changed," she said simply. "It changed... and he was forced to see it," she cried. Was it because they changed the future that he died? But before, when they solved the paradox, he didn't see anything - why now?

"I... killed... the goddess?"

Serah thought back. No, the goddess was still alive. They defeated Caius before he could kill Etro. She was safe, so why did the future change so suddenly? A cool wind swept over the two figures, and Serah shivered. The sky darkened, and a feeling of dread filled her. She turned to the moogle floating nearby. "Mog, what's happening?"

"The goddess... she has gone, kupo."

Serah's eyes widened. Etro's gate opened.

A bell tolled once.

Serah laid the body of her friend down on the airship carefully, giving Hope a quick glance before standing up. "I thought... we saved the goddess! We defeated Caius!" Serah panicked. Suddenly, the airship rocked violently. Winds of chaos whipped around it, and Serah fell to the ground with a shriek.

Now, the world was turning into Valhalla, and she knew it. Something had gone wrong - this wasn't supposed to happen. The chaos tainted everything, forming the buildings into those seen in the Unseen Realm. A bell tolled again.

Where was Lightning? And Snow? Fang and Vanille? Sazh was even quiet now. Maybe he knew what had transpired, and kept to himself. Serah couldn't keep the fear from creeping up on her. She had to admit it: she was terrified for the world. This was their fault - her fault. She was the one who wanted to change the future. At first, everything was for Lightning. She had to get herself caught up in the fate of the world.

A bell tolled. Three.

Was this what Yeul was telling them about? The world had no future now. It was Valhalla - there was no time for the past or future to exist. The timeline was warped beyond recognition. And they had come soclose to fixing it! No... all she had to do was find Yeul. She would have the answers she wanted. Yeul always did.

Four.

"Did Noel tell you... what he saw... before he...?" Hope had his arms around the girl, in an attempt to shield her from the chaos of Valhalla. He couldn't get the last word out. He couldn't stand for another friend to die. He had lost his mother. Then he lost Fang and Vanille. Lightning was gone. And now... Noel had been taken away, too. Serah shook her head softly.

"He didn't tell me anything... He said... 'I killed the goddess,' but... it sounded like it was hard for him to understand. If only I knew what he saw!" Serah yelled.

Five.

The airship rocked again.

Six.

Chaos surrounded the new Cocoon.

Seven.

The Academy building was consumed.

Eight.

All Serah could hear were the bells, echoing in her mind.

Nine.

And then she remembered.

Ten.

They had killed the goddess.

Eleven.

When Caius died, she did, too.

Twelve.

It finally made sense to her, and she hated it.

Thirteen.

"No... it wasn't supposed to... end like this."

not the end

The next chapter will be called Centuries to Save and is in the process of being edited and posted. Please review. I enjoy your feedback.

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A Study in Elegant Death