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"You said it was business. Why is he here." the Doctor demanded.
"He's my assistant" River said matter-of-factly.
"Do all your assistants have to be young and pretty?"
"You tell me." She said with a quick tilt of her head looking him straight in the eyes with a small knowing smile.
The Doctor grew embarrassed at this and dropped the subject. He couldn't argue in the light of hypocrisy. He tried to redirect the subject. "Does he have a name?"
"Of course he has a name" River said teasingly. "But I don't often use it."
"Well, are you going to tell me his name, or will I have to guess?" The Doctor asked sounding exasperated with an almost amused look in his eyes.
"That sounds about right." River said looking up at him sweetly before walking off with her nose in a guide book. How did she do that? Acting so heartless and still somehow making you feel like she was doing you a world of good. He started to follow her like a helpless puppy.
"Lovie, are you coming?"
Lovie? River never called him Lovi - oh, it was him. That pretty boy. The Doctor grumbled off to hang around the Tardis as River led her young assistant through the dense jungle vines.
"Aren't you coming sweetie?" She called back.
He grumbled some more. This time he knew she meant him. He thought about ignoring her - but no, he couldn't do that to River. Lovely River. Not her. He swallowed his pride and called back "Yes dear, just as soon as I unload your baggage. You sure did bring a lot of it". Silence. This couldn't be good. Why was he so snarky?
River emerged from the vines. She walked over towards him with her hair flying wildly and her eyes aflame, and for a moment the Doctor was uncertain just what she was going to do to him.
And then she kissed him; on the cheek.
"I'm sorry sweetie, but your baggage was taking up so much room on the Tardis that I thought I'd kick it off and bring some of my own... He's a native guide, not an assistant."
The Doctor groaned. "River, why are you so difficult? "
"Because I love you. If I made it easy you might forget that. By the way, you're my only assistant now, so come on." She said this as she flung some real baggage into his arms, picking up her own share along the way, and trudged off into the jungle. Yes, sometimes the Doctor felt like a puppy dog following her, but it wasn't all bad, sometimes she threw him a treat - literally. She happened to know how to bake one- and only one- dessert; chocolate chip cookies. And they were out of this world.
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They had been working their way through the thick jungle vines for some time now, and the Doctor had taken the lead, enjoying the challenge of swinging and ducking and dodging. Perhaps he could get used to this. Suddenly he saw something through the vines that made him stop with excitement.
"River! River!" he shouted whilst running back. "I've found it!"
"Look at that stupid grin. Do you even know what we're looking for?" River asked in amusement.
"Of course I do" he said grinning like a happy child "And this must be it. Come see." he said gesturing her along.
" Oh all right" she said giving into his prodding and then gradually getting ahead of him. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks while the Doctor looked on at what he had spotted very pleased with himself.
"I don't believe it." she said breathlessly
"Tell me about it" the Doctor said, still grinning. He was enjoying playing the companion for once.
She turned around swiftly to face him "Don't you know what this is?"
"Well, it looks like a great big shiny emerald statue. Isn't that what we were looking for?"
"No, this is something far greater, and much more dangerous"
"You said we wouldn't be in danger" the Doctor said teasingly.
"Complaining?"
"No, not at all."