Colorful flowers and nessecories surrounded a giant picture of the latino beauty embedded on an old stand, a solid rock coffin resting behind the podium. We listened to the ceremony, and then it was time for me to sing. I walked up to the stage, and the preacher smiled at me. Tears stained my face, my eyes were red and puffy, and my head throbbed. But, I cleared my throte, and began the song.
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh
The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel.
I finished, and by the time the song had ended, tears were flowing from my eyes. I walked off the stage, and ran out of the building. I couldn't stand seeing his beautiful face plastered to pieces of paper when I needed the real thing. Carlos was always the one who sung me to sleep on my worst nights, took me in when I was down, wiped all my tears away, and he was just, all the time, doing nice things for me, and making sure I was alright.
I ran blindly to the middle of town, and I was in the park. I sat down on the bench i can remember clearly meeting Carlos on 10 years ago. We were clueless eight year olds, partying hard while our moms were somewhere in the distance. I smiled at the memory. I remember the time we sat up all night watching the stars when we was about 14. And the time he held my hand when I was getting my booster shot. Man, what I would give to go back to those days..
I had sat there and thought about everything, snickering at every little venerable memory, I had forgotten completely that Carlos wouldn't be home when I got back.
"You gonna go home, or what." An old man seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry, just thinking." I fakely smiled.
Man, i sat out here all night thinking, and got busted by this old dude.
"Wait till Carlos hears about-" I stopped, my smile fadded. "Oh..." I began silently crying, and I began walking toward home, when it began raining. Ahh, Carlos loved the rain. When I thought about it real hard, I could see Carlos' face in every drop of rain. I looked up to the sky, I could have sworn the thunder was mocking me, telling me that the heavens had Carlos, not me. I swiftly pulled my jacket closer to my body, and sniffed.
"I miss you, Carlos." I hiccuped.
I finally got home, I peeled all of my drenched clothes off and pulled out some of Carlos' Blue pajama pants and an old T-shirt. I slipped the garments on, sighing when the scent of Carlos Garcia hit me. I grabbed his old teddy bear and cuddled up with it, to drift fast asleep.
I was sitting in an empty room, with a bright light shinning toward my face. Suddenly, i felt I wasn't alone any more. I looked around to see Carlos' glowing figure standing no less than three feet away.
"Hey, Logie." He smiled and sat down next to me.
"Carlos." I smiled
"I just dropped by to see how you were doing!" He took my hand and squeez it.
"I'm doing great, Carlos." I was astonished.
"Thats good. So am I." He smiled. "You look great!"
I looked down to see that I still had his pajamas on and I blushed. "I can't help it, Carlos, I miss you.." I trailed off. A tear slid down my cheek.
"Logie-bear, don't cry." He soothed. He wiped my tears away and embraced me. I melted into the hug, sighing when I smelled the scent again. He pulled back and held both of my hands. "Logan, there's something I've been wanting to ask you." He smiled.
"What is it, Carlos?" I breathed.
"I was wondering, If you would like to come back to-" He was cut off.
"LOGAN! LOGAN? WAKE UP!" I popped my eyes open, to reveal James' figure. I groggily sighed.
"I made breakfast.." James offered me, but I really didn't feel like eating.
"I'll pass" I shrugged, And he just turned and walked out. I pulled the covers over my head. Ugh, I would assume today was his burrial. 3 weeks, and I still can't realize that he's gone.