There's Still Fireworks: Part 2
The Day After
Kim's eyes fluttered open, beholding the bright, spring-time sun streaming through her open windows. She was wrapped snugly in her thick, pink comforter, her Pandaroo clutched to her chest so tightly it would likely be somewhat limp until she could fluff the stuffing just a bit.
Carefully she extracted herself from the covers, a beautiful smile spread across her face as the events of the previous night replayed in her mind.
She had a boyfriend. Not some guy she was crushing on, not a boy she went out with a couple times, trying to impress him, but an honest to goodness, we're 'going steady' kind of boyfriend. Somebody who was exclusive to her, somebody she could point to and say 'he's mine' and know he could do the same about her.
Still holding the aging plush toy to her breast, she danced around the room a couple times. It was amazing just how freeing admitting how she felt about Ron was. For some time the feelings had actually been there, she simply either would not, or could not acknowledge them. The thought that he was 'just a friend' always reared up, keeping her from thinking of him any differently.
Then too, being honest with herself, she had to admit that he wasn't exactly what she thought she was looking for either. He wasn't a 'golden hottie' like Josh, or a big, strong, handsome man like Brick. Granted, she knew the latter wasn't anyone she would consider, though she did have to admit he was rather pleasing to look at.
Ron was nothing like either of them. He was a little plain in the looks department and a bit on the small side as guys went. Not that he was unattractive by any stretch of the imagination, just that, if he wasn't already her best friend, she might not have ever considered him at all.
For that, she was suddenly incredibly grateful.
Finally putting the doll down, she glanced at herself in her dresser mirror. Her hair was a slept-on mess and she still had the tiny black dress on, though it was somewhat wrinkled and her hose apparently had either been nicked in the fight, or simply didn't have the endurance to take being worn to bed. All in all, she looked like she had gone twenty rounds with Shego, instead of the minor tussled she had with her the night before.
With a sly grin, she realized it might look like she had gone twenty round with a certain blond haired young man. Fortunately, she hadn't blown her curfew by too much and the fight itself did make the news, so it wasn't likely her parents would come down on her for doing something with him that wasn't appropriate for a sixteen year-old.
That made her think about that aspect of their new, untested relationship. Under the control of the Moodulator, she had been ready and willing to go through with whatever he wanted to do. Actually, it was more like she wanted to do those things, even if he didn't want to. In the light of day, with her faculties fully under her control (or at least she felt like they were) she was glad the thing had malfunctioned when it did. She was most def not ready for that, though she wouldn't rule it out in the future, even the near-future.
That didn't stop her from wondering what it would be like. She had a general sense of what he was like under that droopy jersey and baggy cargo pants, or at least what he was like about a year and a half earlier. She had 'worn' that body for a couple days, and knowing certain things about him was utterly unavoidable. In every way that counted, she was him for that time, and knowing what certain parts of his body felt like made her wonder how it would be with him.
A little guilt surged through her for thinking that way, but only just a little. Part of her upbringing automatically carried with it a little surge of anxiety. She was taught by her parents and by society that she was too young for that sort of thing, though that idea warred with her intellectual knowledge that she was biologically ready for it, and, as far as she knew, emotionally ready for it as well.
Sitting down in front of her mirror, she started brushing out the tangles in her hair. Actually, she needed a really good shower, but that would take time and the quicker she was ready, the quicker she could be on her way to his house, and the quicker she could get there, the sooner she would be back with him, this time simply to be with him, instead of just having him by her as a sidekick.
Then she glanced at the clock on her round nightstand. It was only a little past eight, and being Saturday, Ron would likely be getting ready to go to Temple with his parents. That meant it would be getting close to lunch time before he was back and free to be with her. For half a moment she thought about taking a quick shower and getting her parents to drive him over to his house to go with him, but she dismissed the idea, at least for the moment. As much as she liked him at that moment, sometimes his religion seemed so alien to her. It was like he became a different person when he put on his yarmulke and started reciting prayers in Hebrew. She wasn't much of a church-going person herself, though she technically considered herself Christian. Faith was not a big part of her life, since she more readily believed in what science could explain. Her parents called it being an empiricalist, and they were pretty much the same.
She bit her lower lip and went back to brushing her long hair. Being with Ron would have to wait for a bit, though she would be waiting on his doorstep for when he came home. At least then he would have reverted back to just regular Ron, and not Jewish Ron and she could spend the first full day with him as her boyfriend.
That brought the smile back. They were going to do all the things she normally saw others doing. Walking hand-in-hand, smiling at each other, staring into each other's eyes like nothing else in the world mattered to them. She could wrap her arms around his soft, slightly pudgy waist and hold him close to her petite frame. She could trace the edges of his big ears and she could kiss him again, just like she had done the night before. He wasn't very good at it, but it felt good anyway, like it was the right thing to do, and with practice, he would certainly get better at it. It almost seemed like the only thing he knew was to simply accept the kiss, and when he tried to return it, it was like he was kissing some inanimate object, like a steak or something. Oh well, at least he smelled good, so long as he hadn't been into a beany Chimirito.
Kim made a mental note to pick up a tin of strong peppermints just in case their day together took them to his favorite eatery.
Ron stared at the ceiling, his hands propped behind his head, listening as the car pulled out of the driveway. Just as he had over countless previous Saturdays, he begged off going to Temple with his parents. Somehow over the last months it just hadn't seemed proper going with them, as if that part of his life didn't have as much meaning as it should.
Normally he would sit there in his room, puzzling over why that was so. Back when he was thirteen, it meant so much for him to go. His Bar Mitzvah was actually one of the high points of his life, and seeing Kim sitting there with his parents as he read to the congregation from the Torah made him swell with pride. Yet, seemingly from the moment Rabbi Katz had signed his certificated (two years later than he should have) he started drifting away from it. It was like being a Jew wasn't as big a part of his identity for some reason.
That Saturday morning he wasn't thinking about that. Instead he was puzzling over the last twenty-four hours. In that short space of time it was like his whole world had turned upside down. It started out just like any other, with him running by Bueno Nacho to pick up a couple breakfast Nacos to share with Kim, then going completely haywire with her chasing him all over the school before finally tricking him into asking her to the Middleton Days festival.
Everything had seemed so clear when he went to pick her up for that date. His mind was made up and he was going to set her straight about the nature of their relationship. In fact, he had even gone so far as to tell her they should 'just be friends.'
Simply thinking about those words made him wince. They ranked right up there with 'we need to talk' as some of the most jarring in the English language, at least between any kind of couple. But he was resolved to that, and was ready to accept what would come by him saying it. What they had as best friends was too important to him, and he felt like their connection would have eventually recovered from the fallout that would result from that kind of blow.
Instead, the evening ended with him not only going back on that decision, but agreeing to be Kim's boyfriend.
He had a girlfriend!
That thought alone gave him the spilly willies far more than a room full of crawling bugs. It scared him more than a squad of black-clad monkey ninjas. It sent cold chills down his spine and made him feel like the meager snackage that he automatically munched on after coming home the night before would make a return appearance.
What on Earth had he done?
It wasn't like he didn't want a girlfriend. What normal guy his age didn't? Not to mention, he did have fantasies that involved Kim. Well, to be honest with himself, he had normal male fantasies about a good many of the attractive girls at his school, as well as some with those who were not quite up to the level of the cheerleader squad. Those were the girls he thought he actually stood a chance of some day wooing, perhaps to the point they would go to the prom with him…as well as…other things.
Basically, he was a normal, hormonally challenged sixteen year-old boy.
But Kim? He was actually at the beginning of a relationship…with Kim? Fantasies aside, not in his wildest dreams did he think he had any kind of chance of actually being with her.
He went over the events of the night before, over and over in his mind, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. All night he had been doing so. It wasn't like he was actually going to get any real sleep in that sitch.
Somehow he knew what he should have been doing was thinking about how great he had it, about little things like the kissing, or perhaps the little glimpse of the lacy, naughty bit of underclothing she had given him. Not that he had seen anything he shouldn't have except the lace itself, but that she had been willing to show him that in the first place, not in just a juvenile 'you show me yours, I'll show you mind' sort of way, but because she really wanted him to see it, because she knew the effect it would have on him.
Instead all he could think about was how impossible it was going to be to measure up. Kim had high standards for everything, for herself, and for everyone around her. Yet every time she had sought to improve him, it had been an abject failure.
That was something he just couldn't abide. He knew he wasn't handsome. In fact, he knew he was probably just about the homeliest boy around. He was short, thin, bird-chested and not very graceful by any stretch of the imagination. Even when his come-and-go Mystical Monkey Power decided to rear its head, it looked like sheer luck on his part he could actually do anything.
In short, he knew, somehow, some way, he was going to screw things up, and it wasn't going to be pretty.
What was he going to do? The night and early morning had gone by in a blur and now the brilliant sun was fully over the hill outside his bedroom window. It was Saturday morning and Kim would be up, ready to spend the day with her boyfriend, and no matter how much she said she would not, her natural Kimness would try to make the most of it.
He could just see it then. She would show up on his doorstep with every moment of the day planned out. They would get on his battered scooter and ride to the park. There would be cotton candy or something from the little truck that parked there, or perhaps they would take in an early movie. Then they would go to their usual booth at Bueno Nacho, where she would get a grande-sized slurpster and put two straws in it to share.
Very likely she would want to kiss him again, and as badical as the thought of their faces mashed together like that was, he was scared out of his senses knowing just how bad he must be at it. He could just picture their lips meeting and him doing something stupid, like trying something with his tongue, or their teeth bashing together and getting chipped. The thought of her having to go face her parents, after all the money they spent on her orthodonture and explaining how her smile was damaged by the affections of her boyfriend.
There was the word again. Boyfriend. Why did he say that the night before, when his mind was so made up that he wouldn't let it happen? What was he going to do when she got there, her green eyes gleaming with anticipation, waiting for him to say a certain phrase.
At least there was one thing he was clear about in his mind. He loved Kim. The only problem was, he didn't know how to say that, or even what it meant exactly. She was the best thing in his life and he wanted to spend his whole life with her, but love? There seemed to be a certain finality that would come when he said "I love you" to her, and it was something he knew he wasn't quite ready for.
Maybe it wasn't so much that he loved her, but he didn't know if he was 'in love' with her. Somehow there was a difference between male fantasies about being with her, and actually living those dreams because of how he felt about her. It wasn't the physical desire, it was the more spiritual aspect of it. It was the deeper meaning of being with somebody you loved because of that love, not because his body was saying he should do that.
He also knew he would probably screw that part up as well.
Deep in his heart he knew he wasn't up to the task. Something was going to go wrong and they were both going to crash and burn because of it. There was a definite intensity to their feelings and that made the danger all the greater.
It really was something he just couldn't face.
Thinking back to that moment when he spilled his guts to Steve Barkin, he realized what he had to do. In fact, even though he knew that it was the real Kim he was thinking about and not Moodulated Kim, the situation really had not changed.
This was going to be hard, perhaps harder than it had been the night before, but he was going to have to do it.
Ron Stoppable was going to have to break up with Kim Possible. It was the best thing for both of them.
Kim Possible and all related characters © Disney