Inspired by the song Rude by Magic.

I don't own Total Drama.

Pulling at his black bow tie, he couldn't help feeling absolutely ridiculous as he waited for his girlfriend's parents to answer the front door. He usually wasn't one for traditions of any sort, but her father was a traditional man and he wanted to at least have his approval.

Despite the suit – which was uncomfortable, too tight and far too hot – he felt more exposed than ever. He felt bare and vulnerable, although it had absolutely nothing to do with his attire.

"Daddy doesn't like sarcasm." She'd told him before she'd first introduced him to her parents, several months prior. "You've got to be genuine."

And he'd thought that his little lady friend had been oblivious to his sarcasm all along. But it was reassuring to him that she actually got it, because he'd initially had his doubts about being with a girl who wasn't bright enough to catch his sarcasm.

"Hello?" The man asked as he answered the door, swinging open the top half of it.

Noah almost smiled because of how much Dawn's father reminded him of Xenophilius Lovegood. And to an extent, Dawn rather reminded him of Luna. She herself couldn't see the resemblance, but every time he picked up one of his Harry Potter books, he couldn't help the half a grin gracing his usually unimpressed face.

"Good afternoon, sir." Noah said, cringing at how uncharacteristically pleasant he had to be around his girlfriend's father.

"Oh, Noah, come in. Come in." The man said, beckoning him in eagerly. As he pulled open the door, he leaned out to look around on the front steps. "Is my little girl not with you?"

"No, she's teaching a meditation class until three." Noah said. "I – err – had a question for you, actually."

"Oh, go on."

"I was wondering if I might have your blessing-" Noah said, resisting the urge to pull at his collar. Oh how naked he felt without his signature sarcasm shield. "-to ask Dawn to marry me."

"Oh, what a wonderful question!" Dawn's father responded, putting his hands together by his chin. "Here, let's ask for guidance."

"Oh goody." Noah said under his breath. Despite how much he enjoyed Dawn's company, he still wasn't accustomed to that particular weirdness.

Noah sat on the couch by the coffee table and was joined a moment later by Dawn's father, who now had a pack of cards in his hand – card that Noah recognized immediately as Tarot cards. He had little to no, particular emphasis on the no, faith in the accuracy of such things as Tarot cards and he only tolerated them because Dawn was so superstitious and spiritual.

"We'll read the cards."

"Of course." Noah whispered to himself.

Noah could almost feel a migraine coming on as Dawn's father laid out the cards on the coffee table. To put such faith in something as – so accurately described by Hermione – as a very woolly discipline, was foolishness, but Noah said nothing. He had to put up with stuff like this. Dawn tried to respect his atheist views by, for the most part, practising the majority of her wiccan rituals when he wasn't present.

Dawn didn't push her views on him, and tried to avoid his discomfort when he witnessed the weird wiccan rituals, and he respected her views by not mentioning how completely ridiculous he thought her religion was.

Her father, however, was another story.

"Let's see." Dawn's father said, looking at the cards on the table with an intrigued expression. "Oh, yes, very interesting."

Noah glanced down at the cards on the table and very nearly rolled his eyes. "So I'm going to die?"

"Pardon?" Dawn's father asked, looking up with an expression of confusion on his face.

"The death card." Noah said, pointing at the card on the table.

"Oh no, that doesn't mean anyone's going to die. It just means that something is going to end." Dawn's father frowned. "I think perhaps, I will not give you my blessing. The cards suggest that your relationship with my daughter is going to end."

"What? That's ridiculous." Noah said, rolling his eyes. "How could cards possibly foretell that? How could anything possibly foretell that? The future is not set in stone – anything can happen!"

"I think, perhaps, this is why. You are a non-believer." Dawn's father said solemnly, putting the cards back into their silk sleeve. "I hope you will not be too hurt over the end of your relationship with my daughter. Thank you for coming."

And with that, he ushered Noah out of his house and left him standing on the front steps.

"My condolences on your relationship." Was the last thing that Dawn's father said before he slammed the door behind him.

The speed with which it all happened left Noah reeling.

What the HELL just happened?

And what exactly was he going to tell Dawn?

Constructive criticism always appreciated! Please review!