"You know what I'm missing right about now, Partner Mine?"
Illya was hanging by his wrists from a pipe behind Napoleon who was also similarly bound. He had been trying to figure a way out of their predicament when the brunet's voice came over his shoulder. He turned his head as far as he could to see that they were back to back. "I must admit, I do not know what you are missing. I am missing the feeling of blood circulating in my arms."
Chuckling softly, Napoleon opined, "You do get a little churlish sometimes. It probably isn't helping that we've been here since about two AM and by the way my stomach feels, you're missing breakfast as much as I am."
"I was not thinking about breakfast, but thank you for mentioning it," the Russian growled, "I think I see a way to disentangle ourselves. Make yourself useful and yell. Let's see if anyone responds."
"Fine." The two men began to holler and scream for help as loudly as they could. After about twenty seconds, they stopped to see if anyone, foe or friend, would come. "I don't hear anything," Napoleon whispered.
"Good," Illya replied, "On my mark, start yelling again so I can kick apart where these two pipes are joined together. If I am successful, we can make our escape." He swung his legs up to the pipe from which they hung. "Ready? One, two, three!"
Napoleon began to shout once more while the Russian began to kick viciously at the pipe joint. He felt a jolt of energy when on the third kick, the pipes began to separate. "Keep it up, Napoleon! I am almost there!" Five kicks later, the pipes gave way causing both men to slide down to the floor with the heavier American landing roughly on his partner.
"Get off me, you big ox!" Illya snarled as he quickly regained his feet and brought his bound hands to his mouth as fast as his aching shoulders would allow. Napoleon mirrored his actions and the two grabbed at the ropes with their teeth and began yanking the knots apart, a relatively easy task now that there was no longer any strain on the ropes or their bodies.
They ran quietly to the door and used Illya's lock pick to open it. Seeing no one in the hallway beyond, they hustled down to a door marked "Exit." It opened onto another hallway at the end of which was a windowed door that appeared to open onto the street. Moving stealthily, they got to the door and Napoleon peeked outside.
"It's an alleyway; we can go left or right. What do you think?" the CEA asked.
Illya shrugged. "We have a fifty – fifty chance. I say I go left, you go right and we see whose way looks better unless you have a better idea."
"I don't. Let's do it." The larger man snatched the door open and Illya darted out under his arm and hugging the wall, ran to the end of the building. He noted several things: He was still in Manhattan, it was early morning and he was facing the rear of the building they had escaped. He turned around to call Napoleon and saw him running his way.
"Three guys just got out of a car and entered the building. They're going to be looking for us in about two minutes. Let's get away from here!"
They began to run in the general direction of headquarters. As they neared the corner of Forty – second Street and Ninth Avenue, Napoleon spotted two cops sitting in their patrol car. Walking up to the passenger side, he flashed his UNCLE ID and said, "Gentlemen, we are in need of your assistance. May we get in?"
The officer unlocked the back door and Napoleon slid in quickly followed by his partner. "Good morning. I'm Napoleon Solo and this is my partner, Illya Kuryakin. Would you be so kind as to take us over to the East Side?"
The cop behind the wheel protested, "Whadda we? We look like a cab to you?"
"Murphy," the officer in the passenger seat said, "Just do it! These are UNCLE agents! Seeing one is about as rare as hen's teeth and we got two in the car? Wait'll the guys back at the precinct hear about this!"
They asked to be let out at Forty – second and York and as they walked the few blocks downtown to HQ, Napoleon mused aloud, "Scrambled eggs, French toast with a side of really crisp, well done bacon, orange juice and coffee. Or maybe, a cheddar cheese omelet with hash browns…"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to decide what to have for breakfast. I told you before I was hungry. As soon as we get to Headquarters, I'm getting breakfast."
"For the both of us, moy droog. That is the least you can do for tormenting me with your talk of food."
"You should be buying me breakfast! Didn't I enlist the aid of New York's Finest to help us escape our captors?"
"We would not have had captors if not for you!"
"Point taken. All right. My treat."