The more one hesitates before the door, the more estranged one becomes.

- Franz Kafka

Wasn't that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted.

- Abraham Verghese

10:45, Platform 6, Paris.

11:05, Platform 12, Zurich.

11:20, Platform 17, Amsterdam.

Attention please! Please note that this is a platform alteration for the 11:08 Northern Rail service to Toulouse. This train will now depart from platform 2. Platform 2 for the 11:08 Northern Rail service to: Toulouse…

As the automatic announcer continues to drone through the day's schedule, a young woman steps gingerly into the arrival hall, peering at the sound and fury with wary yet not unamused cerulean eyes. Her figure is lithe, her features seemingly relaxed; although she's dressed simply in a pastel blouse and pants, her brilliant head of soft rose hair is turning more than a few heads. The style is unique, the color's pale but radiant, and even though one longs to gaze at it for long enough to remember something they've long lost, they just can't –

I'm… home?

The young woman ponders her own rhetorical question, attempts to taste the meaning of it on her tongue. Her expression is stoic and just a little tense as she briskly approaches one of the LED screens, clicking through several buttons to search through the general directory.

The city's train station isn't the largest in the region by any means, yet it's still quite heavily utilized, and the train she's arrived from has been full. As opposed to stations at nearby cities such as Lyon and Marseille, the arrival hall here boasts more lifestyle shops aimed towards young women and tourists, and the woman smiles somewhat idly to herself at this, recalling fleetingly a home from many centuries ago. She finds – then picks up a small cup of latte from – the closest coffee shop, the white foamy top rich and seemingly still steaming under her scrutiny, and squints at the exit of the station, the just-a-shade-too-bright late afternoon light. A small sip. And then two. The phone rings in the pocket. It's a call from her sister.

"Ah. Yes, I arrived safely. On time, too. Don't worry – I'll just take the bus to the apartment… Love you too. Don't stay up too late grading. Later."

How long has it been? A few months? A year?

It's small walk from the exit to the closest bus station. She walks quickly, looking up every other second as she checks her phone for new texts. She's dozed off a little on the final leg of the train, and perhaps there have been new messages…

Oh, and there are always going to be those that have already been repeatedly read…

Have you arrived yet? Call me when you get off! We haven't talked since yesterday.

The journalist girl came to visit us :eyes: :eyes: She sounded super disappointed that she still hasn't been able to find you! D:

How you been, Lightning? Yeul's curious too. We should catch up :ok_hand:

Dajh's doing great! Took him to a doctor just in case, said everything seems just fine with him. Got a little annoyed with me if you know what I mean.

The sounds of accelerating wheels. She stops, waiting for the pedestrian crossing light. A tour bus slowly pulls past her, the bright red open top vehicle full of curious tourist families. A few children wave at her, giggling with cutely braided hair and exaggerated expressions. She offers the smallest of smiles back at them.

Thank you so much for coming, Light. That was truly wonderful, and I'm really glad we got to see everything during the summertime… have a safe trip back home, alright? Say hi to Serah and Snow for me. I'll send the wines shortly to the address you gave me…

… And no more texts after that.

There's an anxious kind of determination in her walk as the light shifts and she follows through.

… I'll need to shower. And then unpack. Check if Hope's package has already arrived. Are there bills that need to be paid? They'll expect me to come to work tomorrow. At least the weekend is coming up.

Having read through her calendar one last time – she'll need to visit a few places and stock up on a few things, but there's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow – she tucks the phone back into her pocket and leans gingerly against the glass pane of the bus stop. She's the only one waiting – but that's just as well, for she appreciates the peace and quiet as well as the prospect of finding a window seat. The bus should come in the next three minutes or so, and in twenty minutes, she'll be in her room and on her bed, stretching against the clean-smelling sheets and resting her sore body against the soft mattress.

Her travels are finally at an end – at some point, even the knight or the savior has got to go home.

She still remembers that first night, when this life was first thrust upon her from the glimmering depths of Cosmogenesis: she had sprung up from her bed with a pounding heart and trembling hands, and when those shaking fingers had not been able to immediately enclose themselves around the hilt of a sword, she had panicked. "Serah," she had cried out desperately, every fiber of her being burning with fear even though she did not understand just why her stomach had suddenly been tied into a thousand knots. "… Serah? Are you there?"

"I am here," a familiar voice echoed back, and if the suspension of loss had been broken at the sound of her sister's voice, the suspension of disbelief only doubled down, pressing upon her like an invisible, yet impossibly heavy weight. She only realized that she had been holding her breath when her sister's body collided forcefully against her own in the doorway and nearly knocked all the wind out of her. "Sis… are you okay?"

"… Serah," she repeated, and this time, the world seemed to settle into place, solidify and set. They were standing next to each other in the darkness, Serah's features barely perceptible under the faint moonlight spilling through the window. Her sister stared back at her fondly yet a little bit too understandingly as she reached up to touch her sister's cheeks, her hair. The tingly warmth felt like it could almost burn, but she welcomed – and shamelessly savored – the sensation. The question fell from her lips before she had had the time to ponder it over. "Is this – are we – real?"

"We are real, Claire,"her sister reassured, although she couldn't tell why Serah sounded sadder than confused. "I'm not going anywhere."

Why did her very own name sound wrong? "You – you said Claire –"

There was a strange glint and a hint of hesitation in Serah's eyes as they peered up at her own. "Lightning?"

She stilled, her muscles suddenly relaxing as something within her gave away. That word – that name – had also sounded wrong, even though the sound of it had resonated somewhere deep underneath her, a drop of water on a seeming ocean of yearning buried in the very core of her being. "Serah. I'm not making sense. I just – must have had bad dreams." Everything remained hazy – crystal edges – green lights – the hardened golden radiance of a god. She couldn't put a face or a name to any of it. "I thought I had lost you…"

She would have sworn her sister's face had grown, if possible, even sadder. "Do you… remember?"

"Remember? Remember… what? Don't tell me you actually –"

Serah seemed to ponder over her thoughts a bit, closing her eyes for a moment before reopening them and slowly enunciating her syllables. "Snow Villiers. Noel Kreiss. Caius Ballad. Do you remember any of those names?"

"I…" Although nothing came to her mind, she could taste the strange familiarity of those names, something struggling to be set free on the very edge of her memory and identity. The fact that Serah seemed to know things she didn't disturbed her; the fact that she apparently was supposed to know about those things made it even worse. "Did I get into an accident? Got hit on the head or something?"

"Maybe… just a little bit, but don't worry, it wasn't your fault at all." Serah's chuckle was light, if a little wistful. She brushed a loose strand of hair from her older sister's face and kissed her gently on the cheek. "We got into… something, that's true, but everything will be all right now. You'll remember everything soon. Why don't you go back to get some more sleep? It's, like, two in the morning. I could… sleep in your room with you, if you'd like."

"Whatever happened was really bad, wasn't it." It wasn't a question.

"It'll all be okay now, I promise." When Serah saw that Claire still held that appraising look, the younger girl smiled and shrugged a little sheepishly. "Swear by Mom."

"I'm going to make a cup of something before heading back to bed."

"There's chamomile in the living room."

"Could you… actually sleep in my room? You can take my bed. I'll crash on the couch."

"Sis!"

"You suggested it. I crash on the couch all the time, anyway."

Those names had come back to her soon enough. In her dreams she pieced together Snow's antics, Noel's affinity with the shadows, Caius' look of utter confidence and despair as he plunged his sword into his own heart. The peanut-shaped house she once lived in with Serah floated back into her memory, and she remembered the smell of Pulse wildflowers from before the fall of Cocoon, not to say the culinary delights of the Glutton Quarter of Yusnaan. Snow, Hope, Fang, Vanille. And there was Sazh and his child, laughing together as they chased the chocobo chick…

"When did you remember?" She asked Serah a few days later at breakfast, poking at her egg a little moodily as the other girl poured out milk for the two of them. "You sounded like you had known it for a good while –"

"Not that long, actually. I'd say everything came back to me probably a month before they came back to you." Serah tilted her head as if in deep thought. "It's probably just a seer thing."

The fear came back to Claire as if she had been hit by a train. "Do you still see anything?"

"No? I haven't seen anything, anyway. I don't know what is there to see. This is a new world, and in any case, the goddess has passed." The look's on Serah's face was just a little bit too sympathetic. "You also look pretty human to me now, Sis."

"Yeah? I feel human well enough, but I haven't been fighting anything." Claire exhaled a breath of relief. The truth be told, there were probably a few people at work she wouldn't mind fighting, but she wasn't going to risk physical confrontations just over a few sarcastic comments and digs at her physical appearance or work capabilities. She had not fought for a new world just to spend her new life here being mad at a few people. "Have you… found Snow?"

Serah looked away discreetly. "He lives relatively close by – I've found him over the internet – but I figured I shouldn't contact him until you've at least remembered everything. I felt like suddenly getting involved with him would, um, trigger your memories. And I wanted those things to come back to you on their own."

"He hasn't been looking for you?" Although Claire was amused and grateful, she couldn't help but let a hint of indignant disapproval color her voice.

"He probably has! But you know Snow, he's not the most competent at more sophisticated social media stuff, and um…" Serah trailed off for a moment before re-meeting her sister's eyes. To her surprise, she realized Serah was wearing what seemed like a perfect replica of her Cocoon-shaped pendant. "I think he's probably waiting for me. To make the first move, so to speak."

Say what you want, Lightning. Nothing's gonna change the fact that I swore to make Serah happy and instead I couldn't even keep her from dying. She winced at the image of crystalline spikes breaking out of Snow's skin, his eyes empty and haunted in the hell of C'iethdom. "… Yeah, I can see it." Did she see it, too? "Did you see what… Lumina saw?"

"… What did Lumina see?"

Oh. "Uh, she just hung out with everyone. I didn't know if you saw anything like you did through your crystal tear because… you were inside Lumina, were you not?"

Serah appeared pensive. She took a mandarin orange from the fruit plate and began peeling it in earnest. "No, I don't… remember much of it. I think being… my state did not quite help with that. But I do remember your promise to me, and sis, why were you so silly –"

"Serah!"

"You knew what I meant! I wanted you to remember me, but I wanted you to live. I went through my entire journey hoping to be reunited with you in a happier, brighter world. I guess Noel, Hope and I didn't exactly end up saving the world, but I didn't want you to blame yourself for it, either! I had no regrets… still don't. But I'm glad Bhunivelze woke you up from your stasis. I wouldn't have wanted you to simply melt away into oblivion with me at the end of the world."

A moment of silence, broken only by the clock on the wall monotonously counting seconds. Claire pretended she hadn't heard the heartfelt outburst – simply stuffed more food into her mouth – but her ribs ached hollow and there were what suspiciously felt like tears behind her eyes. When the words finally came out a minute or so later, they were muffled. "… Serah, I'm sorry."

Serah's eyes softened. As Claire stared, Serah reached out into the drawer – pulled out a box of chocolates – and placed a few in front of her older sister. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I know Valhalla must have been next to impossible – Noel and I were on the brink of breakdown just fighting Caius once, I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for you, with the weight of the world on your shoulders." A short pause. "And Lumina, too… I really wish I could have seen it, been there with that piece of your heart. I would have known it was you right away, but, you know, if I had been there and aware, perhaps you would have been less lonely –"

"Serah. Can we… not go into all of it right now?"

"… Sis."

"I… I know it's unfair and all, and you just want to tell me what's important, but I just don't really want to talk about it right now. Give me… some time."

"… Okay." Serah looked stricken and torn. "… I suppose maybe Snow wouldn't want to talk, either. He's also been through a lot. And I don't even know for sure that… he remembers. I… I just want to love both of you, to understand everything you've gone through, but –"

"He'll remember. He's too stubborn to forget. And I think he'll eventually open up to you, because as much as I used to despise the man, he truly loves you." In her mind's eye she spied Serah and Snow going on thrill rides in amusement parks, Snow clasping his arms around Serah as they wait in line for snacks and ice cream; doubtlessly he'd just want to spoil her, love her, and never again let her out of his sight, and how could she judge him, when she wanted that exact same thing? "He – we – I think we just want to enjoy your smile, for a while. Know that you are here. Know that we're all alive. We gave up a lot of things for this happy ending – the least we can do to honor it is to enjoy this life."

"Sis. Did I… upset you?"

Claire wondered just how pale – or flushed – she must had appeared. "… No."

"We'll… still have your blessing, right?"

"Of course."

Serah seemed as if she had wanted to say something, but backpedaled at the last second to change the topic. Claire remotely registered that this talk had gone far less well than her sister had originally anticipated. "… Are you going to try to find the others? Fang and Vanille? Noel and Yeul? I'm sure even if you don't end up talking about anything hard or painful… Hope would still want to meet you again."

"Serah?"

"… Sis?"

Claire made a point to unwrap a piece of chocolate and slowly chew on it. "I'm not upset, I promise, but would you mind if I decide to… go on a trip for a few months?"