A/N: Alrighty, here's the follow up to A Series of Strange and Hilarious Events Starring Our Favorite Gryffindor Lion and Slytherin Prince. In case you didn't notice, the title is too long to actually enter on to FanFiction, so I had to shorten it. =] I hope you all enjoy it as much as the first! I tried to write in Draco's POV, but it's really, really hard; that's why there was such a long wait…. That and the fact that I just went through an anti-writing stage, nbd. It's so easy to imagine what Hermione's thoughts are; but Malfoy is a waaaaay different story. But don't worry, I just had to set up the beginning in his POV, the rest is in 'Mione's! (HALLELUJAH!!!) And I know that in the first fic it was Christmastime, but in this fic it's kinda warm outside, so Hogwarts is just having some weird weather, mk? READ ON POPPIES! SORRY FOR THE DELAY!!! I mean really, what's a month ….. or two…. or thirteen…. between friends?.... hehe. =]]
I hope you guys enjoy this as much as the first chapter. The first chapter was like my life's work. This one is just because I love my reviews. Haha. I hope you like it!!!!
A Series of Strange and Hilarious Events Starring Our Favorite Gryffindor Lion and Slytherin Prince
………… When life gives you water, dump it on Malfoy and run away …………
Problem # 2:Peeves: IIDraco: 0 Hermione 0
Draco Lucius Malfoy was not a wizard to be trifled with. He was the most prestigious student at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry- other than that blasted Granger- and proud of it. In fact, young Mr. Malfoy had to work hard for his noble title. In this story, however, we find him in a wee bit of a predicament…
"DRAKIE?"
"DRAKIE-POO?"
"DRAAAAAAAAACCOOOOOOOOOOO?"
I cringed and triple checked the leafy fringes of my refuge, not stopping until I was absolutely positive the wench couldn't see me. I ran a hand through my hair and quietly groaned. 'Wench?' you may ask. Yes, wench. Or you could say Witch. (figuratively speaking…) But yes. Pansy Parkinson. Bloody stalker.
Looking around me, I realized how bad things had gotten. I was currently seated in a tree, hiding. Hiding from Pansy, my annoying, whining, infuriating, shadow. Merlin, this was degrading.
I realized how low this actually was. Lower than low. I groaned again and bluntly began hitting the back of my head against the trunk, muttering a string of curses that would have had Mother swooning. I smirked at the thought.
Pansy's voice was slowly fading away, THANK MERLIN, and now I could relax. I slumped down into a more comfortable position and spun my wand between my fingers. An ant crawled past my shoe towing a bright piece of leaf behind it. I tried to poke it with my wand.
My thoughts wandered, and I began thinking about her. Granger. Her hair, her skin, her eyes, her smell, her voice, her lips….
Just three days ago I had her pinned against a wall.
Just three days ago she kissed me.
Just three days ago I kissed her.
I enjoyed that kiss.
I know it's crazy. Trust me, I know. It goes against everything that has been pummeled into my head since birth. But I can't bloody help it. She's so damn sexy. THERE I SAID IT. GRANGER IS SEXY. AGH.
Every time I get her out of my head she barges back in. Just this morning at breakfast I was innocently enjoying my eggs and sausage, minding my own business, and in she walks, a faint smile on her face; like she's in on this huge bloody secret that nobody else can know. It's infuriating!
And of course, she sits down directly across from me over at the Gryffindor table; as if to mock me and my tortured resistance to think about her. My eyes flickered and caught hers from across the Ravenclaw table - might as well make the best of it. She glared at me and I smirked. I could almost hear her snort of disgust before she grabbed the paper and hid her face from mine. I chuckled. There were only about a dozen other students in the room; no one saw this short exchange.
It was at that moment that I decided to give up. If Granger wanted free reign in my head, I'd let her. Personally, I wouldn't mind another kiss. It's not like Granger would put up a fight. I smirked. She was smart. She was beautiful. She was witty. She definitely wasn't the nerdy, bucktoothed, bushy-haired spawn of Madam Pince she used to be. She had grown up. And I-
"DRAKIE?"
I sat up ramrod straight and peered through an opening in the leaves. Pansy stood about twenty-some yards away, slowly looking suspiciously around her. I thought about my options. I could
a) Climb down from the tree and face my doom.
b) Do myself (and the world) a favor and turn her into a goat.
c) Curse her.
Yeah I'm thinking C.
I held in a snicker as I aimed my wand and muttered "Imberpersequi". I grinned evilly when I saw a slight shadow form over Pansy's head. The shadow grew in size until it was a small, dark cloud above her, hovering three and a half feet above her head. She clapped her hands (what am I, a dog?) and called again.
"DRAKIIIIIEEEEEE-" her yowl was cut short as the raindrops began to fall. She looked around confusedly. The dark storm cloud floated and swirled above her head; while five feet away there was pure sunshine. She walked a few steps toward the sunlit grass. Her movement left a little wet trail in the field. I chuckled. The rain began to fall harder; and Pansy stood there stupidly. I nearly laughed aloud at the look on her face as realization hit her.
She ran around in a confused pattern, shrieking and flapping her hands in agitation. A mini clap of thunder made her squeal. The rain was pouring now; she was thoroughly soaked. She drew her wand and began screeching spells at the thing, but to no avail.
"Stupify!" she shrieked, the faint red flash flew from her wand and hit the cloud silently. The cloud turned a nice burgundy color and a bolt of lightning hit the ground next to her. She screamed and ran towards the castle in panic.
I laughed as I watched her retreat to the castle. Freedom. Finally.
As Pansy ran through the doors, another figure came out. I studied it and immediately recognized Granger. She walked down the steps and along the path, a smile on her face and a few books balanced on her hip. I swore when I realized she was planning to sit beneath this very tree. I stared at her ferociously, trying to send some sort of psychic force to make her go away.
…..
It didn't work.
With a contented sigh she sat down at cracked open the monster of a book she was reading, completely unaware that I was perched above her. She took out a notebook and paused in her study to write something down. How the hell was I going to get down now?
I growled silently and tried to get comfortable. Merlin knows she reads for centuries at a time. I tried to decipher what kind of book she was reading. Ancient Runes. I barely contained my groan. She was bloody translating.
I sat there, contemplating the next few years of my life spent in a tree. After ten or fifteen minutes of imagining my future life as a hermit I had a brilliant idea. Granger was sitting underneath me. She doesn't know I'm here. She's bloody oblivious. I could feel a smirk coming on.
I switched positions carefully, trying to make little or no noise. I glanced down at Granger again. She was tilting her head to either side, stretching. While I was thinking thoughts about my evil plans she must have put her hair up in a messy bun and stretched her legs out in front of her. She had neglected to pull her skirt down; her legs were bare up to a few inches above her knee. I took a hard swallow.
The leaves rustled with a sudden breeze, and a few fell from the tree. On landed on her book, and she brushed it away. Grinning, I plucked a few leaves from the tree and dropped one down, aiming for her book. She brushed it away. I dropped another. This one fluttered to her legs, and she shook it off. I frowned and dropped three or four at once. They all twirled throughout the air and landed on the pages.
"Ugh." She muttered, brushing the leaves away, her hand moving faster this time. I crept down a few branches until I was about ten feet above her and leaned down, as close as I could get without falling.
One…
Two…
Three…
"GRANGER!" I bellowed, loud as I could.
"AAAAAAAAAEEEEEGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed, leaping up from her spot on the ground and then tripping over her own feet and landing on the ground again. She stood up, whipped out her wand, and looked around in panic, surely searching for a villain of some sort. When she looked up and saw me her cheeks flushed a bright red and smoke nearly poured out of her ears.
I couldn't help but laugh. The branch I was holding on actually shook for about three and a half seconds before I fell off and landed on the ground.
"Urf." I grunted (I think I landed on the Ancient Runes book), and then resumed my laughter.
"MALFOY!!!" she shrieked, stomping over to me. "YOU PRAT!"
"That…was… the greatest... thing…. I… have ever…. ever…witnessed!" I gasped between various chuckles and guffaws while rolling around and holding my sides. She snarled (yes snarled) and began to hit me wherever she could reach.
"I-punch-HATE-punch-YOU-punch-YOU-punch-AWFUL-punch-VILE-punch-DISPICABLE" She continued to rant, still punching, throwing in an occasional kick here and there. I finally got a hold of myself and grabbed one her flailing hands.
"Granger!" I yelled, dodging a right hook and trying to grab her free hand. "GET A GRIP, WOMAN!"
"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" she yelled still, drawing back her left leg for another kick. I quickly hooked my foot around her right knee and yanked it towards me, throwing her off balance. She squeaked and fell back, landing next to me. Her eyes shot daggers and she huffed angrily.
"That hurt." She snapped, before bringing her right hand up again for a hit.
"Oh no you don't!" I said, snatching her hand mid-swing and grasping it with her left in my right hand. Her hands were tiny compared to mine; I held them both easily. She tried to pull them away for a few moments but was unsuccessful.
"Let go of me." She said through clenched teeth. I pretended to think about it.
"I don't think so, Granger." I said with a smirk. She glared at me. I took my free hand and ran it through my hair. I winced slightly; my arm was sore. "You still enjoy hurting me, don't you?"
I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders.
"For the most part." She said. I frowned at her and tut-tutted.
"You and your violence, Granger. You know that can't be healthy for a young witch." I scolded, shaking my head in mock disapproval. She fumed and tried to pull her hands away from mine.
"Let me go."
"You didn't say the magic word." I sang. She growled.
"Let me go, ferret."
"Wrong answer, Granger" I said, scooting back a few inches and leaning my back against the tree. Her shoulders were hunched now, the distance between us was almost too long for her arm length. She gave an annoyed sigh/growl and scooted closer.
"I hate you." She said.
"No you don't" I responded, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the tree.
"Um, yeah, I do." She snapped. I opened my eyes and looked at her.
"Then why did you kiss me three days ago?" I asked. Her eyes widened for a moment before narrowing; her cheeks flushed slightly and she seemed to struggle for a retort.
"You kissed me!" she said a bit shrilly, her cheeks darkening. Her eyes sparkled.
"You kissed me too." I said, nodding my head knowingly.
"But you kissed me first!" she said, trying to rip her hands out of mine. Her face was a nice shade of pink, and there was a hint of panic in her eyes.
"Touché." I said, leaning my head back against the tree and closing my eyes.
"That's it?" she asked angrily. "That's all you're going to say? 'Touché?' What am I to make of that?!?"
I smirked. I heard her grumble and move closer to me and lean against the tree.
"Did you like it?" I asked just to annoy her.
"NO!" she barked.
"Are you sure?"
"YES!"
"Really sure?"
"POSITIVE!"
I opened my eyes and looked at her. She blushed and then mustered up a pretty impressive glare. The sun streamed through the leaves, highlighting her face and hair. She looked bloody brilliant. She's sexy when she's angry, I decided.
I smiled sweetly.
"Absolutely positive?"
"ARGH!" she shouted.
She quickly got to her feet, trying to pull away from me. I stood too; I have no doubt that she would've dragged me around the grounds to make me let go.
"Get off!" she said, pulling with all her might. I stood and leaned away slightly, motionless. It was rather amusing to watch her struggle; it only took me half the effort to hold on to her.
With a great yank I brought her towards me. She spun around and her back hit the tree with a muffled thump. I pinned her hands slightly above her shoulders and stood closely in front of her. She gasped and looked up at me in surprise. I smirked. Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped.
"We seem to find ourselves in this position lately, don't we?" I asked.
"You got us here this time." She said, somewhat breathlessly.
"And you're not opposing." I said. Some of the original fire seemed to return to her eyes.
"Really, Malfoy, what do you want?" she asked. I leaned closer to her, and she inhaled sharply, and her eyes flashed with some sort of recognition. Our faces were inches apart, my eyes bored into hers.
"I want the truth," I said, "about the kiss."
"F- fine." She said, clearly flustered by our close proximity. As I waited for her to answer, I studied her. Her hair curled and framed her face, a couple of almost invisible freckles sprinkled across her nose and her cheeks, which were still slightly pink. Her eyes were clear brown; the kind that had depth to them. I noticed her cheeks flushing under my appraisal; her eyes narrowing skeptically. She certainly was stubborn.
"Well…?" I said. She sighed.
"'Well…?' what, Malfoy?" she asked exasperatedly, leaning back into the tree to put some distance between us.
"Tell me." I said, leaning even closer. Out noses were inches apart; I could count the flecks of gold in her wide, eyes. I heard her swallow and shake her head slightly. Then she glared at me.
"Why, Malfoy? Why do you even want to know?" she asked. I thought about this for a moment.
"Just because." I stated simply. She rolled her eyes. "Why do you keep avoiding the question?"
At this she blushed again, and she frowned.
"I don't have time for this right now, Malfoy." She said, struggling under my grip.
"If you would just tell me, I would leave you alone." I grunted, keeping her trapped against the tree. She stopped moving.
"You would?" she asked. I smirked at her.
"No."
"Ugh." She said, rolling her eyes and dropping her head back on the tree. She looked at me again and her hands turned into fists on either side of her. "You're an insufferable git, you know that?"
"If I'm such a git, then why did you kiss me?" I asked. "Or do you not remember it?" She turned a deep shade of burgundy before clearing her throat and looking at me severely.
"I remember it perfectly well, Malfoy." She huffed.
"So tell me about it."
"What is it with you and that kiss?" she nearly yelled. She frowned at me.
"It pissed you off." I said evilly. Her eyes narrowed.
"Want to know what'll piss you off?" she seethed.
I smirked.
"What?"
"This!" and before I knew what was happening she brought her knee straight up and hit home.
OH MERLIN!
I turned and ran in a panic as Malfoy dropped to the ground with a yell. It sounded a bit like 'Stuffing gnomes'.
I can not believe I just did that! I can not believe I just did that! I can not believe I just did that!
I JUST KNEED MALFOY IN THE CROTCH!!!!!!!!
Malfoy is going to kill me. Malfoy is going to kill me! MALFOY IS GOING TO KILL ME!
My heart was beating so fast I felt as though it would burst from my chest. Malfoy just had me pinned against a tree! I looked over my shoulder and saw him hunched by the tree. For a moment I felt I bit of sympathy (only a teeny bit!) and then I remembered what a git he is and kept running. I looked back and saw him running after me. I mentally slapped myself; I had oh-so-wisely ran away from Hogwarts. Brilliant, Hermione; just brilliant. I checked back over my shoulder. He was gaining on me.
My breath came out unevenly, and I lost one of my shoes twenty yards ago.
"GRANGER!" Malfoy yelled behind me. I looked back and released a small scream. Merlin, he could run fast. He chased me to the edge of the lake and onto the dock. (WHY DID I RUN ONTO THE DOCK?!?) I stopped at the edge, turning to face him. I was trapped.
Malfoy stopped two or three yards away from me, his hair in a messy disarray and his grey eyes glittering. I didn't notice over by the tree, but this shirt made his arms look really…
WAIT A SECOND! What in Merlin's name am I doing?!?! Malfoy has me cornered on a dock and all I can think about is how hot he is!! I- I mean, not that he is hot. It's not like I care. That he's hot, I mean. Not that he is hot. Like at all…
Fine. Maybe he is kind of attractive. Or maybe a lot of attractive. ARGH! STOP THINKING ABOUT MALFOY'S LEVELS OF ATTRACTIVENESS! HE IS ABOUT TO MURDER YOU!
"You shouldn't have done that." He growled.
OK. PLAY IT COOL HERMIONE. PLAY IT COOL.
I glared at him.
"I'll do whatever I want Malfoy." I snapped. He slowly started walking towards me. It didn't really look like walking, though. It looked more like a starving wild carnivorous animal about to pounce on an innocent herbivore and kill it maliciously. But that's just one way to put it…
"Fine. Then I will do whatever I want." He said, stepping closer.
I shuffled back until my heels were at the edge of the dock, my back facing the open water. I teetered for a second, almost losing my balance because of my lack of shoe.
"Stay away from me, Malfoy!" I warned, reaching for my wand. Before I had even pulled it fully out of my pocket he said 'Expelliarmus' and deftly caught my wand and tucked it into his back pocket…. AGAIN. I hate my life.
He moved even closer, he now stood about five feet from me. The knots in my stomach tightened, and I could feel a blush going to my cheeks. He took another step.
"Time for revenge." He said with a smirk. He took another step. Oh sweet Merlin I am going to die! He stood directly in front of me, his silver eyes boring into mine, a faint smirk on his face. I tried to find my voice but I couldn't. He brought his hands up and rested them on my neck. He's going to strangle me!!!!!!
I grabbed his hands and tried to push him away, but only succeeded in nearly pushing myself in the lake. I squeaked and grabbed the nearest thing; the front of Malfoy's robes. He held me to him, and I gasped.
"Do you like me, Granger?" he whispered with a faint smirk.
"N-no." I stuttered, mentally slapping myself for sounding like such a dolt.
"Then this should work out wonderfully." He said, leaning towards me.
"Revenge?" I found myself whispering.
"You could call it that." He said back, slowly getting closer, smirking. The butterflies that had been lying dormant in me since three days ago exploded, almost making me gasp. Malfoy was getting closer, his face inches from mine.
"Scared?" he asked huskily, raising an eyebrow, still smirking. I tried to answer him, but his warm hand on my waist pulled my closer, causing me to lose my train of thought. When you are being seduced my your worst enemy, it is rather hard to keep one's brain properly functioning; especially when that said enemy in extremely attractive and about to kiss you.
Wait a second?!?! KISS ME!?!?! KISS ME?!?! NOT THIS TIME!!!!!!!!
Malfoy was going to kiss me! FOR REVENGE! My eyes widened as I saw him get closer; sirens went off in my brain. I could feel his breath on my face, and I could smell that bloody sexy cologne.
Suddenly, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel what I felt in the corridor, I wanted his lips on mine, I wanted my hands running though his hair. I wanted to feel that soar and that high from a kiss. I wanted him to hurry up already. I fought against the urge to grab his tie and yank him towards me, he was torturing me with his slow approach. I wanted-
WAIT! WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME AM I THINKING?!?! I DO NOT WANT DRACO MALFOY TO KISS ME! THE COLONGE WAS GETTING TO ME!!!
I blinked hard, trying to snap out of it. His face was so close now that I practically had to cross my eyes to get him in focus. Without thinking, (AGAIN!) I pulled to the right, almost losing my footing and falling in (such maneuvers were hard to do with one shoe on). A very surprised Malfoy was thrown off balance and into the lake with a surprised yell.
SPLASH!
A few droplets of water hit me, sprinkling my robes with little darkened dots. I stood alone on the dock, mortified. My eyes were popping; my mouth was wide and gaping. I stared at the spot where he fell in.
….
….
….
I think I'm in shock.
OH MY DEAR MERLIN…
For the second time today: I CAN NOT BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT!!!
Suddenly a blonde head burst out of the water, followed by a string of rather impressive curse words.
"GRANGER!" Malfoy yelled, trying to pull a piece of weed out of his hair. Once more, although I was full capable of inserting a cool and witty comment about the situation, I chose to laugh. And laugh I did. Great un-girly guffaws that had me holding my knees for support. Eventually my knees failed me and I had to just sit down on the dock and recover.
Of all of the stunts I had pulled in the last few days, this one was the most rewarding; I believe. (Although the quick driven knee comes extremely close.) I wiped away a few tears of mirth that had escaped and had begun to run down my cheeks.
"Ahahaa… Aha…." My laughter faded into silence. "Malfoy?" I asked. I crawled over to the edge of the dock and peered over.
"Maaaaalfoy?"
Where did he go?
I looked along the edge of the dock, I looked at the shoreline, I looked out towards the center of the lake. No Malfoy. I shook my head in unbelief and looked again. He was gone. There was no sign of his blonde head anywhere, no bubbles coming up from the dark surface…
Panic began to sink in. No Malfoy… You don't think… He couldn't have… I mean he was swimming…. Wasn't he? The... the dock is right here…. Not possible…. ?
A couple of seconds passed as I waited.
No, that couldn't have happened… But what if…. …. Noooo…. Nonononono…. He obviously could swim….. right? …. Yes…. But I mean, what if…. What if….. ?
OMIGOSH!! MALFOY! I DROWNED HIM! I JUST KILLED MALFOY!!!
"MALFOY!" I yelled, searching the water for any sign of him. I bit my thumb nail in agitation. What to do? What to do? I reached for my wand, but then realized the idiot ferret had taken it from me. I guess I'd have to do this the muggle way.
Joy.
I scanned the surface again, hoping to see him pop up. No luck. I took a deep breath and stepped to the edge of the dock, looking down at the steely water. It was going to be cold. Verrrrrry cold.
I jumped. The chill took my breath away; my hair was plastered to the side of my face and the back of my neck. I sucked in a big gulp of air and dove under, forcing my eyes open in the murky water to search for Malfoy. No sign of him. I popped up again; my eyes smarted. Malfoy was gone. I grabbed onto the side of the dock, shivering, trying to decide what to do.
"MALFOY!" I called again, taking another gulp of air and diving under. I came up to the surface with eyes watering, drawing shuddering breaths. It was so cold. My eyes hurt from opening them underwater. I felt something wrap around my ankle and I barely had time to scream before I was dragged underwater.
I kicked as hard as I could; bubbles swirled furiously around me. I screamed underwater, the high pitch keen sounded muffled. I looked down to see a black shape lurking beneath me. I screamed again, losing what was left of the oxygen in my lungs. My ankle was released, and I broke through the surface, coughing violently. I swam over the dock and grasped for on of the poles, half choking to death. I saw Malfoy treading water beside me, a huge stupid smirk on his face, chuckling.
I CAN NOT BELIEVE HE JUST DID THAT!
"You- stu-stup-id gi-gi-git!" I yelled furiously.
"Aw, C'mon Granger! I couldn't have scared you that much!" he said.
"I- I re-really- ha-ha-hate you-ou- n- now!" I choked through chattering teeth. He looked at me for a moment and seemed to notice my obvious fury.
"Granger, It was just a bloody joke." He said, swimming over and grabbing the pole with me.
"Sta- stay awa-way f-f-from m-m-m-e!" I yelled, splashing water in his face. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID FERRET! He sputtered and swam to the next pole and glared at me.
"That was mature." He said.
I didn't answer him. I clung to the pole, sniffling and hacking up the water that was sloshing around in my lungs. I bet I looked extremely attractive right now. I shivered and watched morosely as Malfoy hauled himself out of the water and onto the dock.
I can not believe I just jumped into a lake for Draco bloody Malfoy.
I looked up from my haven on the pole and realized the dock was about a good two feet from the water's surface, and I was almost positive that I would not make it up there on my own weensy strength; and there was no way on this earth that I would let Malfoy help me. Jerk.
I reached up and grabbed onto the edge, pulling with all my might. I kicked my feet in a feeble attempt to give myself a little power boost. To him I'm sure I looked pathetic. I tried to kick off from the side of the pole, but to no avail.
I looked up to see Malfoy standing over me, holding out his hand. I shot him the fiercest glare I could muster, which was probably pretty pitiful considering I was shivering and sopping wet.
"Give me your hand." He said.
"NO!" I snapped, my voice sounding strange to even my own ears. It sounded clogged and raspy and unattractively man-like… Great. I struggled, wrapping my feet around the pole and trying to push myself up.
He sighed and grabbed my wrists, pulling me up until I could swing my leg over and onto the rough wood. I lay there, face down on the dock. This day is definitely not going well. I turned my head to the side and I met a big pair of black shoes. Ugh.
"Granger…" Malfoy started.
"Go away." I said, still shivering.
"It was just a bloody joke, woman." He said. I looked up at him and glared.
"Malfoy I will say this once more: Stay away from me." I spat venomously, getting to my feet and stomping down the dock.
"Granger!" he grabbed one of my wrists and yanked me back.
"What!?!" I said, not even trying to shake off his grasp on my wrist. (We went through this same scenario half an hour ago; this boy has a rather firm grip.) "You made me jump after you into the freezing cold lake, after you faked drowning, and you expect me to accept your apology?" I asked, eyebrows raised.
"I never apologized." He scoffed. I let out a growl.
"Ugh. Nevermind!" I snapped. "My point is, you're just assuming that I am quite comfortable with jumping into a freezing cold lake, ready to save your bloody life, when it was all a joke.Is that assumption true?"
"Pretty much." He said, his silver eyes sparkling. I almost growled. Stupid comebacks and eyes and smirk. Stupid ferret. Aghh.
"Well it doesn't work that way, ferret." I said, ripping my wrist away and marching down the dock.
"Merlin, why don't you loosen up Granger!" Malfoy called after me. "You're such a prude." I heard him grumble. I swear I saw red. I stopped walking. Closing my eyes, I slowly counted to ten before turning around.
I jumped. Ugh. Soggy Robes. I was face to face with Malfoy's chest. His very, very broad, muscular, stron- AHG! NONONONNONOOO!!!!!!!!
I glared up at him and spoke in a hatred dipped tone.
"Don't call me that." He smirked.
"It got you to stop running from me." He said. I clenched my teeth. I will not hex Draco Malfoy. I will not hex Draco Malfoy. I will not hex Draco Malfoy…I reached for my wand, just in case. It wasn't in my pocket. I frowned. I checked my other pocket. What the….. WHY THAT LITTLE…
*********pause*********
Before I inform you of the actions that follow, I must clarify a few things:
1. I firmly believe that when I am in the company of Draco Malfoy I lose my train of thought quite frequently. He is a sly, evil, wicked, witty, smart, powerful, sexy, muscular, attractive… BLOODY HELL!!! AGHHH! NO! BAD BAD BAD MALFOY = BAD.
2. What I mean to say is, he is a ferret. F-E-R-R-E-T. A ferret is a smelly rodent, i.e. Malfoy.
3. I would also like to point out the traumatic morning that I have had; one that no seventeen year old witch should ever have to go through.
With saying that, I fear that I really can not take responsibility for my actions beyond this point.
*********onward**********
Before I knew what I was doing I was punching Draco Malfoy in every available place possible for the second time that day.
"GIVE ME MY WAND!" I howled.
"GRANGER!" he yelled, ducking as I swiped at his head. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!" He grabbed both my arms and pinned them down at my sides. I glared at him, shaking my wet hair out of my face.
"If you do not return my wand to me this very instant I swear that when I get it back I will curse you so bad that even Madame Pomfrey won't be able to help you." I ground out through clenched teeth. The boy smirked; as usual. I glared at him with extreme severity.
"Wand?" Malfoy said, innocently.
"Yes! Let's not go through this again, Malfoy!" I gritted out between clenched teeth; it took my full effort to prevent lockjaw.
"I haven't the faintest idea of what you are talking about." He said airily. I took a few deep breaths. In through the nose…. Out through the mouth….. and repeat…. I went to pinch the bridge of my nose and found my hands still trapped.
"Let go of me." I said evenly.
"Are you serious?" Malfoy chuckled. "Twice today you have physically attacked me. Twice. I don't think I'm letting you go, Granger; not a chance." I sighed in frustration.
"I promise I won't punch you when you let go of me." I said.
"Not good enough." He sang. I do believe he found this rather funny. I glared.
"I, Hermione Jane Granger, promise not to punch you, Draco…." I looked up questioningly. "What's you're middle name?" He shook his head. I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Where was I? Oh yes. I, Hermione Jane Granger, promise not to punch you, Draco Walter Malfoy, when you let go of me." He made a noise of disgust and frowned.
"Walter?" he questioned. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I was forced to improvise." I replied. He rolled his eyes.
"Is that all you got, Granger?" he challenged
"What do you want me to say then, your highness?" I sneered. His eyes brightened.
"Good one Granger. Use that." I growled. I am not in the mood for this. I tried to yank myself out of his grip again. He didn't even seem to mind. How was he so strong? Ugh.
"Ah, ah, ah, Granger. I do believe you need to finish." Malfoy said, smirking, his eyes piercing. I narrowed my eyes and with all of the self control I could muster, I spoke, barely keeping my voice from trembling in anger.
"I, Hermione Jane Granger, promise not to punch you, Draco Malfoy, when you let go of me. Happy?"
"You forgot 'your highness'." He reminded. I literally wanted to kill him. K-i-l-l.
"Your Highness, I, Hermione Jane Granger, promise not to punch you, Draco Malfoy, when you let go of me." I swear if he doesn't take that I am going to…
"Or slap?" he questioned. Dang it.
"Or slap." I repeated.
"Or kick?" he asked.
"You're not holding onto my legs. What does that have to do with my hands?" I asked. He frowned. Then I smirked.
"Granger…" Malfoy warned.
I kicked him in the shin.
Hard.
He yelped.
I grinned.
"Take that ya stupid fer-" I sang. My rejoicing was cut short when I realized he was going down… and taking me with him.
"Malfoy let go!" I shrieked. We fell in a heap on the grass. Guess who was on the bottom?
"GET OFF ME!" I yelled. He had finally let go of my wrists, but now I was pinned underneath him; his elbows supporting most of his weight. I tried to wriggle free, but somehow my arms were jammed underneath me, and my legs were useless in this position. He was wincing. I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks; and those accursed butterflies were getting jumpy down there.
"Why is it that every time I am with you I get injured?" he asked.
"We've been over this Malfoy. I enjoy causing you pain." I answered matter-of-factly.
"That's becoming clearer to me each time I cross paths with you." He grumbled. I raised my eyebrows without a word. He deserved it. As I was thinking this he grinned and leaned closer to me, our faces inches apart. I swallowed a shaky breath, my heart pounding.
"But you know what, Granger?" he said quietly, his wet hair glistening in the sunlight.
"What?" I whispered back. Why does he have this effect?!? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, HERMIONE! My heart was pumping so loud I was afraid he would hear it. I froze as he leaned even closer, turning his head and putting his lips beside my ear. I trembled as his warm breath washed over my neck.
"It's worth it." He whispered. Oh sweet Merlin. My eyes widened. Did Malfoy really just say that to me? Oh who cares? It was quite charming and sexy. Like his eyes. Today they look like… OH! OH NO! I WILL NOT BE SEDUCED AGAIN! I mentally slapped myself. Yuck. Malfoy = Yuck. Remember that you idiot. Snap out of it!
"Are you trying to seduce me again, Draco Malfoy?" I asked with disapproval.
"Maybe." He answered. He nuzzled my neck. I shivered and bit back a gasp. "Is it working?"
"N-No! Now please get off." I said, curing the way I just stuttered and squirming. Darn. It sounded much more commanding and forceful in my head. PULL IT TOGETHER WOMAN. He pulled back raised his eyebrows, surprised.
"What?" I asked.
"You said please." He said.
"So? Does that mean you'll get off?" I asked hopefully.
"Hmmm..." was all he said. His eyes were trained on mine, staring at me intently. They seemed to darken as the seconds wore on. Oh Merlin. I could feel myself beginning to blush. He gave me a questioning look.
"Do you really want me to get off, Granger?" he said quietly, leaning closer to me again. Bloody hell. Every time he leans close to me I lose my train of thought.
"Malfoy." I almost whispered. "Please." Get off. Get off. Don't kiss me. Don't kiss me. Kiss me? Please kiss me. NO! Stop. Stop. Stop. Get off. Please. Please. My thoughts were scrambled as he leaned even closer.
Again, I could smell that cologne of his; he was inches away now.
"That's what I thought." He breathed; My eyes fluttered closed, I could feel his breath on my lips…
Wet. Suddenly my face felt very wet. My eyes popped open and I spluttered. Malfoy was sitting up again, wring the sleeve of his robes in to face. I gaped at him, blinking water out of my eyes.
"What?" he asked innocently. "Were you expecting something else?" A devilish grin appeared on his face.
"THAT'S IT!" I screamed, thrashing wildly. Somehow I managed to flip over and get him off of me; for the sake of magic I can't tell you how I did it. The moment I was free I was on my feet, striding away from him as fast as I could.
HE DID IT AGAIN!
I swear next time we kiss it will be MY doing. I WILL have the upper hand. You just wait Malfoy…. You are gonna want me oh so badly and then BAYUM! I'll snap the trap. And you will look like an idiot. MARK MY WORDS. Next time I will be the seducer and he will be the seducee. Next time I'll grab him and I'll-
HOLD UP.
THERE WILL NOT BE A NEXT TIME.
AND THAT IS FINAL.
"Hey Granger!" he called from behind me.
If I opened my mouth now I would say a few things that I would probably regret later. I kept my teeth clenched together; simply giving him the finger behind my back. Hopefully that gets the message across… I've only see Ron do that to people. But it actually felt pretty good.
I heard him laugh loudly. I continued my furious march towards the castle. My gait was rather lopsided; I still hadn't found my bloody sho-
"OWCH!" I shouted, grabbing my bare foot and hopping up and down.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." I muttered under my breath as I lowered myself carefully to the ground.
I cradled my foot on my lap, trying to examine the damage. My foot was bleeding, not terribly, but enough to make it difficult to see the problem.
Malfoy came jogging up, his feet squishing slightly inside his wet shoes.
"What did you do?" he asked. I glared at him.
"Go away." I spat. He rolled his eyes and sat down beside me. He peered at the ground and picked something up.
"This must be what you stepped on." Malfoy stated as he held up a broken inkpot. I groaned at looked at my foot again.
"What should I do?" I muttered, more to myself then to Malfoy.
"Wipe off the blood." He answered.
I bit the inside of my cheeks to keep from whimpering as I used the end of my robes to wipe some of the blood off. By tilting my foot a little bit more I could clearly see several pieces of glass embedded in my skin. There was a particularly large, deep one in the center of my foot. I wrinkled my nose and frowned.
"It stings." I ground out. He came around to my other side and examined my foot and sighed.
"Well, Granger, it looks like we're off to see old Pomfrey again." I sighed too.
"Of course. What else do I do with you?" I said. He smirked.
"There are lots of other things you have done with me, Granger. Perhaps you'd like to-"
"Don't. Don't finish that sentence, ferret. Let's go" I intervened as I began to feel myself blush.
"Well, hop to it then." he quipped with a smirk, and then added. "No pun intended." I rolled my eyes.
"Ha-ha. That's hilarious." I said sarcastically.
He stood up and offered me his hand. I glared at it. He shrugged his shoulders and kept it there. I ignored it and heaved my self up, awkwardly keeping my injured foot in front of me and then pushing myself up from the ground, swinging it behind me as I stood. It didn't work out very well. I teetered precariously, my arms waving frantically. Unfortunately my efforts were worthless and I felt the inevitable force of gravity pull me towards the ground. Malfoy quickly grabbed my waist and steadied me.
"Thank you." I said stiffly. His hands didn't leave my waist. Oh well. I could you the supppor-then I remembered that he just wrung water in my face. I shot daggers at him and said, "I'm steady now." He shrugged and stepped away, watching me. I send him a haughty glare and try to limp towards the castle. Key word here: try. I don't make it that far.
To put it bluntly I took one step on my injured foot, squealed, and found my face in the grass. I am so graceful and charming; such a beauteous creature. It's no wonder Malfoy enjoys my company; he probably finds my extremely embarrassing actions comical. Great. That's why I'm here. To make the world a better place, bringing joy to ferrets everywhere.
I groan and lay there in defeat. Screw my life.
"Well I'm headed back now." Malfoy says. "We should do this again, Granger."
"You fell out of a tree, into a lake, and onto me." I say, pushing myself into a sitting position, trying to brush my wet tresses out of my face. "You would actually want to do that again?" I ask sarcastically. He chuckles and turns towards the castle.
"Maybe that last one." He drawls, swaggering away from me. Bloody sexual innuendos. He thinks he is just soo great. Typical male answer. I glare at his back as he walks away.
I look around for something to throw at his big fat head. Ah. This clump of dirt will do. I sit up and take aim, heaving the blob with all my strength.
Holy
Merlin.
I just successfully hit Malfoy in the back on the head with a clod of dirt. And that doesn't even count as revenge for the whole wringing-water-in-my-face thing.
"Grangerrrrrrrrr." He growled. He turned around and marched over to me. I smiled sweetly up at him and batted my lashes
"Yes, Drakie-poo?" I questioned, smirking. He glared at me and grabbed my arm, slinging it around his neck.
"Hey!" I said in surprise. He took his other hand and swooped it beneath my knees, knocking me off balance and into his chest. I was cradled in his arms.
"Pomfrey. Now." he said, marching towards the castle.
"Put me down Malfoy!" said, starting to kick my legs. I clenched my teeth as my foot throbbed in protest. Ouch.
"No." he said. "I am taking you to the hospital wing." I glared up at him. Why was he helping me? He stopped and bent down.
"Pick up your shoe." He said. I looked down and snagged it from the grass. We traveled in silence for a minute. I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Why are you carrying me, Malfoy?" I snapped.
"You don't like it?" he questioned, smirking.
"No, its not that it' just that-" I started to say. His smirk got bigger. I realized what I had said and mentally punched myself. "No! that's not what I meant!" I cried. "I meant that-" he cut me off.
"Sure, Granger. Suuuure." He said, stepping into the entrance hall and heading for the stairs.
"You know that's not what I meant!" I growled in frustration, punching him in the chest feebly. It was an awkward angle, ok?
"I'll drop you." He threatened. I glared at him and crossed my arms across my chest. Fine. Silent treatment is now in effect. As we went up the stairs I began to shiver. I was still damp from our little lake escapade, and the cool chill of the castle wasn't helping.
"Cold?" he asked.
"No." I said.
"Then why are you shivering?" he questioned.
"For fun." I snapped. He chuckled and rounded the corner to the hospital wing. He kicked the door open. I opened my mouth to reprimand him, but Madam Pomfrey spoke as she was opening the door to her office.
"What's the trouble?" she saw us and a look of wonder and suspicion crossed her features. "You're dripping all over my floor." She said, and with a flick of her wand we were dry. "Weren't you two just here three days ago?"
"Yes." Malfoy sighed, plunking me down on a bed.
"Ooof." I glared at him. He smirked, triumphant. As he was moving away from me I pinched his arm. Hard. He grunted and leapt away from me.
"Mr. Malfoy! Please control yourself!" Madam Pomfrey trilled. He glared at me, and I grinned back. Take that. Madam Pomfrey leaned over my foot and tut-tutted to herself. Malfoy sat down on the bed across from us and lay down, putting his hands behind his head.
"What on earth did you step on?" she asked, gently prodding the skin. Or at least attempting to be gentle. I gasped and clenched the sheets.
"Ink. Pot." I gritted out through clenched teeth.
She sighed and bustled over to her medicine cabinet, pulling out a jar filled with white salve. She came back and set it on the end table. The nurse pulled out her wand and muttered a cleaning spell and a quick healing charm. I held my breath as she rubbed the salve on my foot, but surprisingly, I couldn't feel a thing.
"There you are." She said, standing up and putting the jar back into the cabinet. "Careful on that foot for the remainder of the day; it may be a little sore."
Pshhh. It didn't hurt at all. I stood up and putt some weight on it. Oooch. Ok. It was a little teensy weensy bit sore. I'll survive. I limped to the door, ignoring Malfoy.
"Mister Malfoy! Assist Miss Granger!" Madam Pomfrey said, noticing my limp. I cringed as I heard Malfoy get up from the bed and sidle up next to me. He pulled my arm around his shoulders and put his hand on my waist. My heart beat faster. Curses. I turned to Madam Pomfrey.
"Thank you so much!" I said, offering her a sweet smile.
"Good day Miss Granger." She chirped. Malfoy and I continued out the door. We turned the corner of the hallway and started towards the stairs.
"I can take it from here, Malfoy." I said, a brilliant idea popping into my head.
"Stairs." He said. Right. I would need him for those. Then my plan could commence.
We traveled down three flights of stairs and headed for the… dungeons?
"Malfoy, where are we going?" I asked.
"I'm going to the Slytherin common room. Where are you going?" he smirked. I stopped at a landing and frowned. Time for part A of the plan: Tickle Malfoy.
"Wait a second, ferret." I said, getting ready. "I want to go to the Gryffindor common room."
"Blech, Granger. You have terrible taste. The Slytherin common room is much nicer." He retorted, starting to pull me towards the stairs.
I shrugged him off me and accomplished one of the most rewarding things I have ever successfully done in my existence. As I slid my arm from around Malfoy's shoulders, I dropped it to his waist, slipped it inside his robes and dug my fingers into his stomach. (Which was quite toned, by the way. Not that I care. Even if that is sexy. I wonder if it's a legitimate six pack. Because that's - SHUT UP HERMIONE!!!!!!)
He let out a guffaw and doubled over, trying to push me away from him.
"GRA- haha- GRA- hahahahahahahaha- GRANG- ahaha- ERRR!" he yelled, tripping over his feet in his attempt to escape. "STO- hahahahaaha- OP!!"
Part B: Get my wand. I dove my other hand into his robes and tried to find his back pocket, but that only succeeded in tickling him more.
"GRANGER!" he yelled between fits of laughter, trying to glare furiously at me but then smiling against his will. I found myself laughing. He was so ticklish!
Malfoy crashed down onto the floor, me attached. He grasped my shoulders and tried to push me back, but I scratched at his abs again and he convulsed with laughter. I shouted in triumph as I reached around him and felt the smooth handle of my wand. I yanked it from his pocket and held it high above my head.
"YES!" I yelled victoriously. I stood up and grinned evilly down at Malfoy who was gasping for breath.
"You…. You…." He panted. "I'm… going to… to… get… you."
"Psh. Please." I said, nonchalant. "You couldn't catch me if you tried right now." I waved my wand around smugly like a three year old and then stuck it in MY pocket where it belonged.
"Aghh." He groaned, rolling onto his back. "Just give me a second Granger."
I grinned and began to step around him, heading for the stairs. I spoke as I breezed by.
"Good day, Mal-"A hand wrapped around my foot and yanked me backwards. I lost my footing and fell to the ground. Quick as a flash, Malfoy was on me, straddling my waist and pinning my wrists above my head. I gasped, my eyes wide.
"Ha." He said, smirking.
"Get off!" I said, struggling. I could feel a blush creeping up. This was the second time today Draco Malfoy had me pinned to the ground. The second time. In one day. Wow. I mean wow. My butterflies led an offensive attack on my stomach as he leaned closer and I got a whiff of that trademark cologne of his.
"Listen, Granger, I ought to-"
"WOAHOHOHO!!" A voice cawed. Something moved in the air over us.
Great.
Just fabulous.
Peeves had just emerged from the painting above us, and was taking obvious glee from our position.
"Now, now, now!" he cackled "What should I tell Dumbledore about the Head Boy and," he gasped in mock surprise, spying me from under Malfoy. "Head Girl??!?! Tsk, tsk tsk!"
I cursed under my breath. Malfoy got to his feet and snarled.
"Peeves! I already got stuck with your bloody Sticking Charm earlier this week! I'll have no more trouble from you!"
"Define trouble." the poltergeist asked, grinning evilly.
"You know what I mean by trouble!" Malfoy spat, glaring.
"Trouble like…. this?" Peeves asked. He snapped his fingers and our wands flew into his outstretched hand. He cackled with glee.
"Peeves!" I yelled, joining Malfoy. "Give those back, immediately!"
He hooted and stuck the wands in his ears, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue.
"WHY YOU BLOODY-" Malfoy uttered a vulgar profanity. Peeves stopped his antics and chuckled in amusement, blowing a raspberry.
"Silly, silly, boy! Actions speak louder than words!" he sang. Peeves balled up a fist and made a throwing motion, opening his hand wide and wiggling his fingers.
Suddenly, I felt as though I was covered in snow. I screamed in surprise.
WHAT IS GOING ON?!?
Malfoy must've felt the same way, because he yelled.
"PEEVES!"
I heard the poltergeist cackle and then everything went black.
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MWAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh gosh
Who loves cliffies?
Meh.
Can I get a what whaaaatt?
Ok. I bet lots of people hate me right now
But I have good news
I had to cut this into a cliffie because I have 12 pages continuing this little adventure and that was nearing 50 freaking pages for one chapter. Too long brothah
As I mentioned I have 12 pages written so I will be done in no time
It is summer and I don't have a life; therefore I have plenty of time to write
REVIEW
OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE THOSE 12 PAGES
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:D