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Chapter 1

When Nora told me Casey was coming home for the summer, I took the time to prepare myself. I have my own apartment but I still spent a lot of time at home. I couldn't cook so if I wanted to survive, I needed Nora's food. This meant that I couldn't avoid Casey because not only would that hurt Nora's feelings but it would also result in me dying from starvation since I had a refrigerator that had a few beers and a freezer with a few packages of pizza rolls. So seeing her was inevitable.

To prepare myself, I spent the whole entire weekend before with my girlfriend. Then, on Monday, I broke up with her. It wasn't because of Casey of course. I had just realized that she was extremely clingy and that is the story I am sticking by, no matter who says otherwise.

Anticipation is a dirty thing though. I looked it up. (I have to say, liking Casey makes me look up a lot of words.) The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines anticipation as a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action. I didn't like that one so I went to the next definition. The second one said the act of looking forward; especially: pleasurable expectation. Now that made sense. I was looking forward to seeing her. Whether it would be a pleasurable experience was still a question. The question was whether seeing her would make me burn or not. The fire was flaring at her name. How could I deal with her in person? I feel as if I am going crazy! I do and don't want her to come back. I can't have it both ways though.

I used to wish I could forget she ever existed but I know I can't. Forgetting would hurt more. Having her as my best friend had been better than nothing. At least then I could hug her innocently. She didn't know that my heart would skip a beat when she walked into my room. Or that every time we would go to the movies with our friends, I would purposely sit next to her and most likely would have hurt someone if they got in my way. She saw me as the best friend. She saw me as her Will. I got irritated when I learned that was how she thought of me. I wanted to be more than just some best friend. I couldn't help but think that she must be totally oblivious to what was right in front of her face. Her own mother knew, not that I wanted her to. After a while, it had been hard to find. I wasn't the slickest person with my feelings. Maybe if I was a little more careful, none of this would have happened.

- - -

Casey was tired. She had gotten plenty of sleep beforehand and spent the past couple of hours on a plane, yet she was more tired than she had ever felt in her life. She spent the plane ride regretting stepping a foot in the airport. This summer wouldn't be easy. Morgan was probably right. Once she got home, she would feel the pull to stay. Although, she knew that she had to return to New York. This little detour life was throwing her would not disturb her plans. She would take care of it in an orderly fashion. When she tried to explain this all to Morgan, she had told her that she was in denial. This was not something that could be taken care of in a day. She was trying not to think about all that though. She was thinking about anything but that.

As she sat there on the plane, her mind strayed to her mother, who would be so happy to finally have her home. To Lizzie, who was going to have so much to share with. Her mind flickered to Derek, a smile grew on her face. Derek had been her enemy at the beginning but a good friend in the end, all because of her dad's death. She remembered that days after she had been barely alive. She had sat in her room, unaware of anyone else, unaware of anyone's pain but her own. It was Derek who had gotten her out of that fog though. She could remember laying in her bed and him pulling the blankets of her. He asked her what was she doing and she had told him to fuck off. He had look shocked at the word that had passed her lips but had recovered quickly. He had yelled at her. It was interesting, m yelling. He had asked her if she realized that she wasn't the only one in pain. Her answer had been nothing. She had nothing to say because the truth was, she hadn't been thinking about anyone but herself. After he was done yelling at her, he had taken her downstairs and gave her a bowl of his cereal. After that, their friendship had been born.

She used to joke that they were like Will and Grace. Derek would get mad at her and remind her that he wasn't gay. She still thought they were like Will and Grace. But in the end, she and Derek had grown apart. She realized that she took most of the blame for that. She was the one who had stopped calling, resorting to post cards. Later, even those had stopped. Derek had been a good friend but she wanted to focus. She wanted to focus on following the careful plan she and her father had developed.

Casey and her father had planned it all out. She would go to college in New York, then to medical school. She had just finished a year of medical school and already her plan was being destroyed. She would get it back on track though. She owed her dad that much.

She was going back now. Derek would be there. Her mother would be there. Lizzie, Edwin, George, and Marti would all be there. She would have to tell them all something that would break their hearts. She couldn't picture it...looking Derek in the face would be the hardest things in the world. She should have kept in touch, maybe that would have it made it easier to tell him. Maybe he could have helped her tell them. Maybe she wouldn't be so scared. Derek had always known how to calm her down. He could also fix everything. Maybe he could fix this...somehow.

(A/N-Hoped you liked it!! Sorry it was short!! Please review!!)