I'm BA-ACK! Here we go! And it's time for... Drumroll, please... CHAUD'S TEST! And... Lan's... but no-one gets as excited over Lan as they do Chaud... I wonder why...

Forte: JUST START THE STORY ALREADY SO I DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ALL DAY LISTENING TO YOUR POINTLESS RAMBLING!

Right... Sorry.

"Who's next?" El asked, cheery as if she'd just asked who wanted breakfast.

"I might as well go."

"Chaud, are you sure? It doesn't feel like a simulation, it feels real."

"I can handle it, ProtoMan."

El grinned. "Let 'im do it, Blues. I wanna see if he reacts like you did the first time."

"How did he react, anyway?"

"Oh, it was real funny. This one Mary-Sue was obsessed with him, and her brother got real mad and strangled the poor guy. After that, when he wound up in the real world again, he ran away screaming and wouldn't come near me for a week. It was the most fun I've had since I put Fang in a dress."

"…"

"El, you're a sadist."

"I never argued that."

"And insane."

"Proud of it."

"And strange."

"Chaud, go touch the screen before I throw you at it."

"…"

Nonetheless, he walked up and tapped the screen.

His area was a dirty bedroom.

"Go on, Chaud. Your task is to clean up the bedroom. While doing that, you should be able to identify the threat. After figuring out what it is, you need to decide whether to fight it or just run away."

Angrily, Chaud started picking up the trash. When he found a small doll, he shrugged and threw it away, too. However, when he re-entered the room after taking out the trash, he found the doll he'd thrown away sitting on the bed.

"What the..."

Frowning, he threw it away again- and found it in his pocket when he returned to the room to finish. Scowling, he walked out and threw it away again. This continued throughout the day. After finally passing out on the floor from exhaustion, they heard a clatter, the pitter-patter of small feet, the metallic noise of a kitchen knife being drawn from the wooden blocks. The doll came into view, holding a butcher knife that was almost bigger than it was, walked over to the sleeping figure on the floor, and- the camera blurred

"Sorry." El said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Technical difficulties."

Chaud sat up on the floor.

"What?"

"You died, genius. Jeez, have you never seen or read horror?"

"Huh?"

"It was the dumb doll. You kept finding it after throwing it away. That's a sure sign that it's not normal. As it so happens, the doll was possessed. It killed you with a butcher knife. Now, who wants to next?"

"I guess I will, just to get it out of the way."

"Alrighty, Lan, go touch the screen."

"What's your name, anyway?"

"Ellenar Ride, but my friends call me El."

"Oh."

"Miss Ride, is this going to take much longer?"

"Oh yes!"

"We've got to finish with the starting tests, and then we have the actual course, over two hundred rules, two rules and an activity or two each day we work on it, which will be Monday afternoons and Fridays, but not this Friday, El's busy, tests every other week so she can be sure we remember everything, exercises in teamwork, practice, more practice, lessons on working in a group, scenario runthroughs, written tests, spoken tests, quizzes, more practice, weapons training, duels, uneven odds battles, team battles, exercises in trust, more scenario runthroughs, more tests, running courses, and finals. If you fail any one test, you have to take it over and over again until you pass, if you were partnered for the test, your partner has to take it, too. Textbooks will be passed out after the starting tests are finished. Rooms are two-person, you can cram in a third if necessary, the assignments will be told right before bed."

"…"

"Good for you, Blues, you memorized my introduction!"

"Leave me alone."

"Oh, okay. Lan, really, go touch the screen."

"Got it."

Lan's location popped up, and El grinned.

"Lan, since you're a little younger, I'll give you a simpler goal to start with. I want you to identify the big bad without dying. Also, no direct confrontation."

"Alright."

Lan set out to explore, but the boy's nature of acting without thinking got the better of him, and he ran out without even stopping to look. Directly into the arms of a young man. Who then pulled out a pistol and shot him. El sweatdropped.

Lan sat up in the main room and growled at the people who were laughing at him.

"Lan, you're supposed to try to stay alive."

"Yeah... I foresee dying a lot in this course."

El facepalmed.

"So do I, my friend, so do I."

"…"

"Go eat dinner. I'll give the room assignments after, it's getting late and I want to go to bed. If you can't find the dining hall, just ask Blues. I'm sure he remembers the layout of the building from before, dontcha, Blues?"

He only growled at her and stalked off.

El laughed.

Yeah, I apologize about Lan's pathetic test, not to mention the short chapters, but I had a huge bout of writers block... But the plotbunny wouldn't get out of my head, so... There it is. Besides, running without thinking seems like something Lan would do. And I hope you don't mind the blend of english and japanese names. I always preferred Blues to ProtoMan, therefor El (me) calls him Blues. And Forte is trying to kill me for not letting him be the one to destroy Lan... Man, I knew I shouldn't have kidnapped that stupid muse! He and Blues are constantly trying to kill each other. It's really a pain to deal with. Yeah, I'm gonna stop talking now.