November 20th, 2014
"Yo Vause. You got mail?" Alex looked up at the sound of Nicky's voice. She came into the bunk and jokingly tried to take the unopened envelope out of her hand. "Who's it from?"
Alex had been staring at the envelope for the past 20 minutes, unable to open it. She recognized the writing before she even looked at the return label. The curly letters, every word written delicatly.
"Earth to Alex. You allright?" Nicky's voice jostled Alex out of her trance.
"Uh...Yea. It's...It's from Piper.." With her heart in her throat, Alex began to read.
Nicky remained quiet while Alex read. Together, they sat quietly as Alex finished the letter and then tried to process everything. She adjusted the glasses on her face, trying to distract herself from the tears that were threatining to come out. She didn't really know what to think. Yes Piper said she had loved her when she was choosing Larry. Like that meant anything. Piper had broken her heart over and over again and now shes saying she misses and wants to see her? As much as she loved Piper, that girl was seriously giving Alex whiplash with all the back and forth.
"She said she loves me...that she misses me...What the fuck. I have to write her back. I think. This girl is really fucking with me here." Alex tried to hide the fact that her voice was shaking. She stared off into the distance and tried to compose herself. No one ever got to her like this. No matter how hard she tried, Piper just couldnt get out of her heart.
"That's fucked up. I thought you telling her you didn't want to see her again made it rather clear. You know, you could always just rip up that letter. You don't have to respond to her." Nicky said but you could tell she didn't think, or expect, Alex to do that. Nicky was all to familiar with heartbreak and loss.
"No...I know that. I'm going to write her back. I'm not sure if it's the best idea, but it's something I want to do. Who knows where it will go."
Nicky gave Alex a quick pat on the shoulder and then left Alex alone. Alex welcomed the silence and got out a piece of paper and a pencil. Luckily she had gotten some from commisary last week. She hadn't been sure what she was going to do with it but she had a feeling that she'd be needing it.
Piper,
I'm not sure exactly what to write. Yes I am still mad. How can I not be. The girl that I love walked out of my life again. Doesn't hurt any less. I know that you picked Larry for security reasons. I knew it the moment you told me you choose him. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was tell you to go away. But I needed too. I can't keep letting you hurt me Pipes. I just can't. I want you more than anything. Not being able to hold you, hug you, kiss you, hell even sit and talk and laugh with you was brutal. I'm trying to heal. I'm trying to get over you. So far it's going really shitty.
I didn't get to see you when you got out. I didn't get to give you a big hug and wish you good luck. I didn't go to your going away party because it was to much. No point in torturing myself. But I am glad you got out of this dump. With all of it's crazy people and shitty food. I hope your doing well and getting on with life. I really do.
I really miss you. Fuck. Like really bad. And writing to you is probably a terrible idea. It's just making all of these feelings that I am trying to fight down come back up to the surface. And all want to do is lie with you on the beach in Cambodia and drink margaritas. But I am stuck here. And you arn't here anymore. And as much as I hate what you did and how much it hurts that you choose him, I fucking miss you. And I cant decide which emotion is stronger. How mad I am or how hurt and lonley I am.
I don't want to be setting myself up for another heartbreak, so please spare me if that's the plan. But if you can stay true this time, I'd really like to continue writing to each other. I don't want to loose you. Not again. Even if it's just as friends, I'm better with you around. I hope to hear from you soon.
-Alex
Wiping the tears out of her eyes, Alex folded up the note and sealed it in an envelope.
Thanks for reading. Please leave me feedback of how I'm doing and what I could do to improve. Hope you guys enjoy. Chapter 3 will be out in a few days.