Chapter 1

"I still don't understand why you have to go", Finn huffed, anger and exasperation evident in his voice. Rachel closed her eyes and silently counted to ten, trying not to let her frustration show in her voice as she talked to him on the phone. Ever since she had told Finn that she had to travel to L.A. to handle some unfinished business, he had become suspicious. This had been going on for the past week. "There are just some things that I need to clear up", she said calmly, even though she felt anything but.

He became silent. As the silence grew, she began to get nervous. Finally he spoke. "Does this have anything to do with Jesse Rachel?" he asked quietly. At the sound of his name, her stomach dropped and her mouth became dry. At her silence, he gave a sigh of anger. "It's not what you think Finn", she said, a tinge of desperation in her tone.

"Then what is it?" he asked, his tone seething with rage. "Because it sounds like my fiancée wants to fly to the other half of the country to visit an old flame." "I just want to ask for his forgiveness Finn", she said her tone quiet. "Why? Because last time I checked he was the one who not only broke your heart, but also an egg on your forehead. As far as I'm concerned he should be asking for your forgiveness", he snapped.

"He did", she said softly. "What?" he asked startled. "He did", she repeated. "When?" he asked slightly curious. "It was before prom junior year. He came to make amends and I forgave him. That's why we went to Prom together", she said feeling a little nostalgic as she remembered the events of that year. "So why do you need his forgiveness Rach?" he asked, no longer sounding angry but exasperated.

"Do you remember the kiss at Nationals?" she asked. Yeah, he said. "Well before that happened Jesse and I were on the verge of getting back together. And don't get upset because we weren't even together then," she said quickly. "How do you expect me to feel? How would you feel if out of the blue I called and told you that I wanted to visit Quinn or Santana to ask for their forgiveness on the eve of our wedding?" he asked, his tone furious.

"I would respect and honor that decision', she snapped, her frustration finally getting the best of her. " The reason why I would honor that decision is because I know what it's like to have your heart broken. I know what it's like to love someone only to have them choose someone else. And furthermore, I wouldn't get upset because I trust you Finn." He was silent after her outburst. Finally when he spoke it was with resignation.

"It's not that I don't trust you Rach. It's him I don't trust." "You don't have anything to worry about Finn", she said, her tone softer. "I'm with you. I love you. I just don't want to marry you with this hanging over my head. I want our marriage to be free of the baggage from the past. I want our lives to be happy and fulfilling without any regrets. Do you understand?

" Yeah, I guess, he said his tone softer. "I promise I'll call you every single day", she said, relief in her tone. "You better", he said, his tone lighter. They talked for about thirty minutes more before she hung up. She knew that Finn had always been jealous of Jesse. During their short courtship in high school, she always saw the looks he threw Jesse's way. Now apparently after seven years his feelings still hadn't changed. But she would be lying if a little part of her wasn't excited to see what her ex was up to. He always had dreams of making it big on Broadway. That was one of the many things they had in common. She wondered if he ever followed his dreams.

She glanced at her nightstand which held her first class ticket scheduled for next Wednesday to fly to L.A. All of a sudden she began to get nervous. What if this was all a big mistake? What if he didn't want to see her? Had she put her relationship with Finn in jeopardy? She began to take deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. After five minutes of doing the deep breathing exercises, she began to feel her nerves subside. "Get it together Rachel", she silently berated herself. After all she had nothing to be nervous about. It was only Jesse. Jesse. The boy who manipulated and broke her heart. The boy who made amends only to have his heart broken by her. The boy who could see right through you with one sweeping glance of those ice cold blue eyes. "People change", she murmured to herself. After all she had changed. She was calmer and more understanding than she was in high school. She prayed and hoped that he had changed as well.

As she slept that night, she had that same recurring dream. Only this time it was slightly different. After the rabbi announced that Finn could kiss her, she turned joy radiating off of her. But it wasn't Finn that lifted her veil but Jesse. She stood there feeling shock course through her. He smirked at her before grabbing her and kissing her passionately. Against her will she found herself responding by gripping the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss. He nipped her bottom lip, causing her to open her mouth with a soft moan. He slipped his tongue into her mouth gently massaging her's with his. Fire and desire shot through her, leaving her trembling .

She awoke with a start. As she laid there she tried to calm her erratic breathing and tell herself that it was only a dream. It wasn't a real. That whole day she refused to think about what the dream meant. She would get to the bottom of it as soon she got to L.A. Then she could put this whole mess behind her and live happily ever after with Finn. Her true love. As she went about her day she tried to convince herself that everything was fine. But that didn't stop her from slightly trembling everytime she thought about that heated kiss. Or when she found herself lightly touching her lips, remembering the feel of his lips so passionately pressed against hers. She shook her head trying to dispel the traitorous thoughts. Yeah I need to get this over with quickly, she thought wearily.