Chapter 2

One or the Other

***Edward***

My darling brother Emmett and my sister Alice, decide tonight's the night to get their baby brother re-introduced around town and potentially loosened up with a few beers. I know the way these two operate; they are the opposite of smooth. A couple of broad hints, an invitation to introduce me to their friends (read those of the female persuasion)…they want to get me laid. I should remind them that, slut that I am; I'm able to meet my needs just fine in that respect. I'll play along though, seeing as it has been a while where I wasn't just fucking the crap out of a woman for my own selfish release but maybe tonight I could actually engage one in intelligent conversation. Let's see what the night holds.

They plan a night out at a local restaurant followed by a visit to a popular club patronized by the young professionals who work primarily in the wine industry and wealthy lie-about creatures that are intent on spending their parent's money. It feels a lot like a college outing, relaxed, without expectation…okay, I'm game.

***Emmett***

I'm flipping channels trying not to make it obvious that I'm observing my brother, hunched into the oversized chair by the window. He's very tense and pre-occupied, spending way too much time mulling his failed relationship to that fucked up woman. Edward is deep in thought staring raptly at his laptop oblivious to his surroundings and certainly stressing over his new responsibilities at Cullen Vineyards as he prepares to start in the office in the coming week. As the oldest, I'm sure there are many among our employees who think I was passed over to lead CV. Not true; Edward is the man for the job, I heavily lobbied our father to make sure this happened. I worry about my brother; in one drunken sob-fest of a call while he was still in Santa Barbara, I realized the extent of the damage that bitch had caused. He doesn't think he'll ever be capable of loving again the way he did when he and Tanya were first together; he plans to have his "needs" met by way of anonymous one-night stands but will never "let another bitch" get her claws in him.

My brother knows he's a very attractive man, appealing to the ladies as it were. To be honest and humble, we are all an incredibly attractive lot. Edward, especially, has a look that makes women want to have his children or failing that, become his personal love slave. I've watched him walk into a bar, drawing awed silence, as he does nothing more mundane than order a beer and drink it down in a few large gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing, a little of the beer escaping his lips. One problem that Edward does not have is getting laid; in fact, of late he's been a little slutty. The issue for him is the emotional connection that he has been unable to sustain since his breakup with Tanya. Hell, clearly towards the end of their relationship there was no connection with her either. He'd been so caught up in being a successful associate at Royce King & Newton and she…just drifted off into her own world met someone and then did…I couldn't bear to think about it, how she'd ripped Edward's kind sensitive soul to shreds, leaving us to deal with the unemotional husk she left behind. At the time, he had drifted away from us as well, engrossed in his career. The man I was observing now was a shadow of his former self…I wanted my arrogant ass of a brother back, the All-Star pitcher for Napa High, big man on campus. Anything was better than what I saw before me.

My mission tonight and for the foreseeable future is to help him heal, I'm his big brother; his confidante. I want him eventually to have what Rosalie and I have. Despite the oil and water nature of their relationship I know he has a deep regard for Rose and whether he is conscious of it or not, I'm certain he craves a love like ours.

Edward looks like he's getting his drunk on which was my goal for tonight. While normally a pretty serious guy, he has actually become quite gregarious. He's laughing and telling rude jokes. He's been flirting outrageously with the women who clearly appreciate his pretty face. It has been a while since I've seen him this loose and relaxed, comfortable in his own skin. He didn't dress tonight, up for once, after all, this is Napa not Manhattan; the soft forest green flannel, black vee-neck t-shirt and worn jeans are perfect for this place. I watch as he walks towards the bar for a refill. He looks distracted and I observe as he disappears down a hallway , beer in hand towards the business offices. I stand to follow him but Rosalie swats me and tells me to stop watching him like a hawk.

***Alice***

Jasper and I were scheduled to meet up with Rose, Emmett and Edward for dinner. Bella Swan was supposed to join us as well but apparently work commitments interfered. Now there's a piece of work…separated from Jacob Black and the heaviness of their relationship, she decides to take on the character of a cloistered nun as of late; she's lost all sense of fun, won't even go shopping with me! It was annoying as hell as I have to deal with her this way every day at work. She was the best at her job but what a downer! I wonder what Edward would make of her…he's almost as bad a she is.

Jasper was running late so I texted Emmett and told him we'd skip dinner and meet up with them at the club. Jasper was so funny…excited to finally be meeting Edward after all these years. He'd been my college roommate all four years and I had so talked Edward up to him, my perfect brother, the All-Star athlete turned high-powered attorney. I continued to update him in the intervening years since we'd graduated as well. Each time Jasper had been my guest on visits home to Napa when he was on leave, we had missed meeting up my brother, in one case only by minutes; it seemed as though fate was keeping them from coming face to face. Tonight it looked like they might actually meet after eight long years of anticipation. Jasper was still one of my closest friends and I really wanted him to eventually know my whole family now that he was permanently relocating to Napa for his new job at Travis Air Force Base after his final tour of duty.

***Edward***

As I approached the bar for a refill, I noticed a dimly lit hallway off to the right, leading presumably to the club's business offices. One door is ajar and I glimpse someone, a female form hunched over a laptop busily performing a task of some sort. There is something about her earnestness that intrigues me in my highly inebriated state…she looks kind of cute, but then, don't they all after four beers? Hmmm… could this be a potential one-nighter?

***Bella***

I'm frustrated knowing that my friends are here at the club while I'm sitting in this dingy office doing paperwork. I make a paper plane and sail it across the room watching it catch the edge of the file cabinet. Very productive there Swan… My job, second job really is moonlighting as a bookkeeper for a few of the smaller wineries and businesses that can't afford to keep their own staff. I do the bookkeeping as a side job to supplement my income and for the most part, work in the evenings

My day job is as the marketing director for Cullen Vineyards. You would think that would pay enough and it would if I didn't have a crushing load of student debt that I want to pay off as quickly as possible, otherwise, it's a burden that will keep me stuck, limiting my freedom to experiment with my Masters in Literature and Screenwriting. Jacob Black wanted to pay the loans off but there was a catch: marriage. I wasn't ready for that sort of commitment, I hesitated and he dumped me like yesterday's news.

I've known of the Cullen boys Edward and Emmett but only met Emmett despite having worked for Carlisle Cullen for the last five years. Through the office gossip grapevine everyone knows full well that Edward is considered his errant son, but only from Carlisle's take. From what I've heard, he's built quite successful career but is distant from the family. No one else close to the family really had anything negative to say about Edward, not that I was paying attention. As luck would have it, I'd always missed his visits the times when he stopped by the Cullen Vineyards offices and otherwise would have had no reason to cross his path.

Color me shocked and surprised then when Carlisle announced Edward's new role as Managing Director causing me to wonder if there will still be a place for me at CV under his stewardship. Not something I want to think about right now, I just want to finish up and see if I can catch at least one drink with Alice and the group. I'm looking forward to seeing Jasper again; she had texted me earlier mentioning that Edward might show up as well…two birds with one stone I mused idly.

I booted my laptop, logged into the network and proceeded to collect the files I needed to finish up. It's getting late and I would like that quick drink, might help me to get some much needed sleep. I haven't slept well for months, not since the end of my relationship with Jacob who, like Edward, is an attorney. Bah, stop thinking about him!

Rushing to complete the bookkeeping I am completely engrossed, hunched over, one leg folded under me, one leg swinging away. Almost done, I stop and lean back stretching out the kinks. I feel a slight breeze behind me and turn sharply feeling a presence as the door slowly opens revealing a smirking face.

He stumbles slightly and catches his breath, as his eyes grow wide. He leans against the doorjamb, crossing his arms and ankles in unison assuming a relaxed pose or, perhaps, to keep from falling flat on his face in his current wobbly state. His eyes at half-mast are languorous and sexy; I'm finding it hard to meet his penetrating albeit bloodshot gaze. It soon becomes obvious to me that he's really drunk and I'm suddenly slightly afraid as I've never seen him before; I don't imagine he's supposed to be back here, probably got lost on the way to the men's room a few doors down.

But darn if he's not cute! Those green eyes and messy bronze hair, lovely! "You shouldn't be back here," I state as I start to shoo him off

"Why is that?" Edwards responds aggressively, pushing away from the doorjamb taking a step towards me; I freeze considering my next move. I start to respond but then decide to simply pack up my laptop and get out of the office suddenly feeling claustrophobic. I grab my bag and laptop and move to pass him as he continues to stare intensely at me. He's definitely sex on legs a little too dangerous for me though. As I pass him I barely have enough room to slip by and have turn slightly to shimmy past, he stretches his fingers out and lightly brushes the back of my hand. Shimmers of electricity explode up my arm and I gasp sharply.

I move a little faster down the hall intent on leaving the club altogether; forget the drink! I move down the hall and as I turn catch him following behind strolling slowly, almost stalking me. I move rapidly to the front entrance keys in hand trying to remember where I put my can of mace but before I can exit I hear Alice's high pitched voice; "Belllla! Where do you think you're slinking off to? I'm here with Jasper, Em' and Rosalie. Come join us and…Oh! There you are Edward!" Alice was looking past me and as I turned my head to see who Alice was looking at I gasped as I realized who it was with me in the office earlier, my own personal stalker, sliding past me to the bar smirking. Edward...Holy-mother-of-God…Cullen… Yikes!

***Edward***

I returned to the bar and ordered a beer that I definitely did not need. The bartender hands me a Stella and I quickly tip the bottle back allowing the cool liquid to flow into my mouth as I take deep gulps. I am feeling no pain. Leaning against the bar, one foot propped against the footrest I survey the room. Emmett, Rose, Alice and her date, actually her former college roommate, Jasper Whitlock whom I have yet to meet are seated around a centrally located table; Alice is gesticulating wildly at a vaguely familiar brunette. I push off from the bar and start to approach the group, as does the slight woman.

I recognize her from our brief encounter in the business offices. She shooed me out of the back office but not before I managed to cop a feel albeit just a brush of my fingers against her hand. She was kind of cute. Actually, she's more than cute; she's stunning. I feel myself incredibly attracted to her even in the short time that had passed since I first saw her. I definitely need to get to know her better; I'd love to run my fingers through that lovely long mahogany hair and those dark chocolate eyes... This combination has the potential to produce some really hot animal sex…look at those legs sheathed in dark blue skinny jeans, and her breasts nestled in a tight pink t-shirt, her nipples hard little pebbles…yum! Yeah, I'm drunk.

Jasper stands and introduces himself to me reaching out to shake my hand. He has a firm grip.

"Jasper Whitlock at your service," he drawled, clearly not a local I observed perceptively. Although drunk, even I could recognize the southern accent. I found it oddly appealing.

"Edward, it's a pleasure to finally meet Alice's brother, it's been a long time coming" he smiles broadly, his blue eyes meeting mine as he continues to grasp my hand. Jasper was Alice's college roommate all four years so it was surprising we hadn't met before now although I heard a lot about him from Alice. He's tall maybe an inch or two taller than me, lean and athletic, obviously spends a lot of time outdoors. He has sun kissed blond hair that he brushes off his face. It's a little long just past his ears brushing the collar of his deep blue shirt. He has a small gold hoop in his right ear.

"It's great to meet you too." I return his smile but I feel slightly confused; I furrow my brows realizing I'm still holding his hand. I awkwardly release his hand and sit in one of the available chairs. He sits down next to me; I glance towards him and catch his eye; he's staring at me smiling expectantly. I swig the rest of my beer frowning slightly, feeling all sorts of odd and slightly aroused.

I prop my feet on the table ankles crossed and casually lean back in my chair tipping it back; arms akimbo cradling my head. I watch as the sweet little brunette rounds the table and proceeds to sit next to my sister who engages her in excited whispered conversation that I can't quite make out.

Alice reaches out and hugs Bella tightly, whispering loud enough for me to hear; "So what do you think of my baby brother, I see you've been introduced."

"Actually, we haven't met" Bella whispered back conspiratorially, glancing over her shoulder to catch me ogling her, she looked good enough to eat…mmm... Her eyes widened as if she could read my thoughts (hopefully I didn't just say that out loud). Blushing she quickly turned back to Alice, who blunders the conversation forward to even greater levels of awkwardness;

"You've met his dick, that's more than a lot of people can say, well not true…" Alice mused, briefly lost in thought.

Suddenly Alice pipes up:

"Hey, Edward, meet Bella; Bella, Edward! There you go, all introduced!"

Even in my inebriated state, I can tell that Bella is not comfortable being put on the spot so I decide to help her out by deflecting attention away from her. I laugh a little loudly, and she turns toward me. I tip my chair back a little more pushing against the table.

"Bella… how appropriate...Oops!"

My arms flail out as I lose my balance and my tilted chair tips over dumping me unceremoniously on the barroom floor. I find myself sprawled on the floor feeling slightly foolish. Jasper reaches his hand out and grasps my own firmly pulling me off the floor. He slaps me on the back laughing with me, his blue eyes sparkling. His hand, flat between my shoulder blades lingers before drawing slowly down my back and away, leaving a trail of confused nerve endings in its wake.

"Dude; that was hysterical if I didn't know better I'd a thought you did it on purpose." I winked at him. What? I righted my chair turning it backwards and making brief eye contact with…I straddle the chair trying to recall…Bella, her name suits her but she seems so shy. That blush is enticing; she is very pretty with lovely long mahogany hair and a trim curvy figure. I can see the swell of her full breasts. Yeah, that accounts for my aroused state. I think.

I reach out a hand towards Bella;

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sorry I look like such a fool and truth be told I'm a little bit tipsy."

"So you're a little tipsy eh?" Bella laughs imitating my slightly slurred speech as she reaches out her hand to grasp my extended one. I feel a spark and clearly she is attracted to me too. She tries to release from my grasp but I don't want to let go immediately; my eyes are drinking her in. I want to eat her up. As she pulls away more firmly, I gradually release her hand, brushing my fingertips along her palm and releasing her pinky last. I feel a thrill coil in the pit of my stomach and my pants are becoming a little snug. I think she's aroused too…

"Yeah, I'm definitely tipsy", I grin at her and I can sense she's appraising me. I'm comfortable with my looks and know women find me attractive. I've never had an issue finding someone to meet my needs. I'm tall and lanky with a lean athletic build but not overly muscular; I work out so I know I look good underneath my shirt; Bella is staring into my eyes lips parted, her tongue darts out to moisten her lips. I've been told I have fabulous green eyes, which right now are probably slightly bloodshot from the alcohol; my sharp jaw line is covered in a few days stubble, I lick my lips and run a hand through my messy bronze hair in an effort to tame it without success.

I felt trapped in her deep brown eyes; I wanted her now; my breathing hitched. I noticed that Bella was breathing erratically and I felt the heat on my face as I realized I was almost panting. She tore away from my gaze to look back at Alice and Jasper who were staring at us as if in shock, eyes darting between Bella and me.

"What the heck was that!" exclaimed Jasper, struck by the intensity of the lust that flew between the two of us. He looked at Alice in wonderment noticing her self-satisfied smirk and then shaking his head, Jasper rose from the booth; taking Alice's hand he grabbed her purse and handed it to her. "Hey, it's late; we're going to get out of here. We'll see you two tomorrow." With that said they left the club leaving Bella and I staring at each other from opposite sides of the small table.

"…You two?..." What did Jasper mean to imply? Bella looks a little panicked and seems like she's ready to bolt out of the bar.

"I'm out of here too, I need to be up early and get the club's books finished for month end." Bella grabs her laptop and bag, gives me a small wave and starts to leave.

Oh no, I don't want her to leave just yet. I stride around the table not losing eye contact with Bella. I grab her wrist and stop her realizing in my current state it might not be such a bright idea to come on so strong.

"At least let me walk you to your car, it's not safe this late at night"

"Edward, no need for that I'm perfectly fine" Bella felt the need to be away from me for whatever reason but I was insistent.

"Sorry, Bella, a gentleman would never risk putting a woman such as you in even the slightest danger. Let's go." I pulled on her hand and tugged her towards the door. I placed my hand gently on her elbow as I guided her to her truck. Once there, Bella fumbled with her keys dropping them in her nervousness. I'm a little stirred up so I'm standing probably a little too close to her, so very close I can smell her warm strawberry scent and I'm sure she's getting a whiff of my alcohol tinged breath; I caress her face lightly feeling a little dizzy. I bend down recovering her keys and slowly straighten, not breaking eye contact with her;

I look at Bella and realize she's not breathing; she momentarily leans in to me and gasps in air. I'm standing so near I can feel her heat radiating over me. Her eyes are still trapped in my gaze as I brush my hand lightly past her arm my fingers nicking her breast and unlock the truck door.

I'm staring down at her; I haven't said a word since leaving the club. I open the truck door and she reaches in to place her bag and laptop in the cab. She turns towards me and I suddenly press up against her breathing harshly, trapping her against the truck. I am beyond turned on. My hands cup her face and my aroused state must be obvious to her as I press against her stomach.

"Bella, I need you," I murmur grinding against her and I lean forward to kiss her. Bella's heart is thumping I can feel it through our thin clothing and then she suddenly pushes off against me throwing me off balance. I stagger back. Did I read her wrong? I'm stunned. "I thought…" I stammer, "You were staring at me in the club like you wanted this."

"You're drunk and delusional" Bella retorted, looking a little flushed and not happy at all. She hesitated briefly then turned and jumped into her truck cranked it up with a loud backfire and drove off leaving me standing slack jawed watching her depart.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Well that went well…." I thought disgustedly. I re-entered the club now almost sober, scrubbed my face with my hands and sat down in the same chair, elbows on the table head in hands and bemusedly pondered the puzzle that was Bella. "Bella, beautiful Bella what is up with her? Why did I maul her like that it's not my style…Heck I haven't felt anything at all since Tanya that approached how much I had wanted Bella tonight. I'm not even sure I felt that with Tanya…She's a big mystery to me and don't I love mysteries…I'll ask Alice about her and given that, why have I never heard anything about her before tonight? Or have I and I just hadn't been paying attention…"

"Hey handsome, what's got you all hot and bothered? I glanced up into the eyes of a blonde who was displaying quite a lovely pair of tits perched dangerously close to my face. "Nice" I thought my groin area swelling. "Maybe I will get lucky after all." I felt a momentary twinge of guilt as I thought about Bella but resigned myself to the likelihood that she probably wasn't interested in me. I order another round and proceed to get myself numb again. The woman is hanging all over me stroking my inner thigh slowly, seductively. "Hey, you want to get out of here…?" I grab her hand and without a word we leave together.

I am pounding my dick into the blond I hooked up with at the club "What did she say her name was…Oh, yeah, Vicki…" I thought, happy to find some relief. We had gone to Vicki's apartment and after some preliminary fondling got right to business. I'm aroused but my mind isn't on said blonde but on Bella, I think; I'm also recalling the strong hand that slid down my back nearly to my ass. I'm in a generally aroused state but I'm feeling oddly empty. I push Vicki's skirt up to her waist and move her tank top up exposing her ample breasts; I knead them for a while, rolling her nipples between my fingers making them hard. I stroke her sex, making slow circles to get her ready. She responds with a deep moan.

Vicki undoes the button fly of my jeans and pushes them down past my hips. I've gone commando; I lean back against the couch and stroke myself languidly to keep it up, as I think of Bella and… a certain presence ghosting along the edges of my fogged memory, eliciting a groan from Vicky. "I like to watch a man touch himself, it's so erotic." She purrs. I look at her clinically through hooded eyes but I choose not to make a comment, I'm not here to get philosophical. Vicki leans in to kiss me and I jerk my face away. "No kissing," I grunt. Jesus Christ! I can't tolerate that level of intimacy. I know it sounds weird, but sex is not as intimate as a kiss. I'm saving that; considering how poisoned Tanya has made me for those special moments between lovers, a kiss being one of them.

I turn her around and brush my cock against her ass bending her over the couch; I grip her fleshy hips pulling them firmly against my cock and because I have a need, drive harshly into her sex, pumping fiercely, thrusting deeply. She gasps and moans loudly, rotating her hips. This was definitely not about love. I close my eyes as I thrust in and out, my mind drifting back to earlier that evening and Bella staring at me from across the table with obvious desire. Thinking of her makes me harder as I imagine it's her hips I'm gripping. I had wanted Bella bad but had acted like such an ass grabbing at her; she had looked so luscious, soft; her doe eyes avoiding mine…Uh, uh Bella…"Oh God that feels so good"…"Eddie baby, I'm coming" Vicki squeals like stuck pig and the moment is lost. I sigh and remove my flaccid penis and dispose of the condom realizing that I never actually came.

"Wow, that's a first…" I mused; unsatisfied still hungry for more; I was probably too drunk to have attempted sex but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I button my jeans and straighten my shirt, which I'd never removed. Vicki smoothes her rumpled outfit grins at me and as she tries once again to kiss me I turn my head away. She pouts and gazes at me wistfully. Running one hand through my hair I avert my eyes feeling suddenly guilty and ashamed. "Wait that has never happened before, I've never had an ounce of guilt about a one-night stand why now…since when did I get a conscience?" I'm seriously confused.

"Hey uh, Vicki I've got to get going, this was …nice"

"Will I see you again, Eddie?"

I wince at the use of the hated nickname trying to figure out how to avoid answering her plea. I can't stand to look at her as I move towards the front door of her place.

"Eddie…"

My hand is on the doorknob; I lean my head against the door closing my eyes and sigh.

"We'll see" I answer noncommittally.

With that and without meeting her eyes again I open the door but before I can close it;

"Eddie, who is Bella…?"

I freeze for a second "Did I actually say her name out loud during sex? Shit!" but then I catch myself and without answering depart jogging slowly back to my car.

"What the HELL is going on with me?"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I regret the thing with Vicki, leaving her like that after having aggressive sex with a woman I barely know under the influence of who knows how much alcohol. It's so easy to blame the booze; I could have seriously hurt her given my viciously aggressive actions. What am I trying to prove? I realize she's just another in a long string of one-night stands I've been feverishly working my way through in an effort to scrub the memory of Tanya from my mind; as if they were the vehicle to express the undiluted anger still festering in my soul. As if it were her I was abusing, something I knew I was incapable of. It's been four months and I'm still raw. Maybe it's time to take a break from the random sex and focus on healing myself. I'm suddenly very tired.

Still buzzed, I decide quite rightly it's probably not wise to drive so I take a cab back to the house. I stumble up the driveway after tossing an unknown amount of cash at the cabbie.

The front door is locked. "Damn! Where are my keys?" As I fumble through my pockets I hear sounds from the TV and figure it's probably Alice and Jasper still up at this time of night. I decide to avoid them by going up the back stairs.

I follow the stone path around the side of the house and as I start across the patio I spy a lanky figure reclined in one of the lawn chairs, one jean covered leg stretched out on the chair, one bent leg leaning outward, bare foot resting on the concrete. He has one hand buried in his blond curls while the other hand cradles a beer bottle; his dark blue shirt is slightly open and unbuttoned exposing a sliver of his bare chest. I see the glint of moonlight reflect off his earring. He is facing away so I can't tell if he's awake.

Jasper

He's between me and the back stairway to my veranda. I walk quietly towards the stairs hoping not to disturb him. Suddenly his hand darts out.

"Beer?" He asks proffering the bottle. I take it from his hand and take a deep swallow. I just stand there staring at him. He turns his head and meets my eyes as a slow smile crawls across his face. He looks as drunk as I am. I squat down and take another swig.

"So Jasper, why are you out here at this late hour? It's after two in the morning."

"I saw a cab pull up; where's your car?" Jasper replied with a question.

I didn't respond, just continued to watch him as I drank from my beer, a little puzzled by why he was out here hanging out on my patio. His eyes held my gaze. He was pretty much the last person I would have expected as I barely knew him, Emmett being a much likelier suspect to appear in my face something he did frequently.

"Sit" he says pointing to the lawn chair next to him. I walk around wordlessly and slump into the chair stretching my legs out in front of me. Leaning back I finish off the beer. He hands me another, taking my empty and putting it back in the carton.

"I was waitin' on you. So, you and Bella huh?" he drawls, looking at me speculatively, finally answering my question with another question. He grabs a beer from the twelve-pack twisting off the top. He sits up and turns sideways in the chair facing me; planting his bare feet on the ground in front of him, elbows on his knees. His shirt falls open exposing his chest. He has a nipple ring. I feel a little warm. That dark blue shirt is compelling. He takes a long pull from the bottle keeping his eyes on me.

"There's no me and Bella, Jasper, I was just enough of an asshole to scare her off. She left right after you guys did and I left my car at the bar because I was too drunk to drive."

"Scorned eh, what did ya do, try and cop a feel?" He snickers.

I laugh out loud at his interest. "Something like that" I say vaguely, furrowing my eyebrows trying to figure out his game; I was just too tanked to focus so I eyed him curiously.

"What do you want to know, Jasper?" Weirdly, I feel completely at ease with him, as if I'd known him for years even though we just met a few hours ago. I'm a little shocked that I'm sitting out on the patio at three in the morning with a near stranger discussing my sex life. I am also slightly pickled and would probably confide in a rock at this point.

"Show me what you did and I'll point out the error of your ways"

I'm surprised at his interest but just stupid drunk enough to comply; that and I'm finding that I'm intrigued by this puzzling man.

"How about I just tell you, I think the "show" would be a little awkward"

"Let me be the judge of that" he smirked leaning back on his elbows. "Proceed"

"Well, it's really not that big of a deal, I walked her out to her truck thinking we were on the same page and when I leaned in to kiss her she pushed me off called me delusional and drove away." I brushed the hair out of my eyes.

"She pushed you off… What; you were on top of her? That sounds a little aggressive for a first kiss…" He teased.

"Well no, I was leaning against her and she was pressed up against the truck…I pulled her hips towards me, you know…" I was beginning to see where I'd gone wrong.

Jasper jumps up grabs my hand and pulls me out of my seat. I stagger a bit because, of course, I'm drunk and his sudden action throws me off balance. He puts his arm around my waist to keep me from falling. I'm standing in front of him our bodies not quite touching; he's a little taller than me so I'm looking up at his eyes. Blue eyes stare back at me. His hand slides down to my hip.

He's leaned in so that his face is inches from mine, so close I can feel his hot breath against my neck. I watch his lips move.

"Show me what you did, pretend I'm Bella" he whispers.

I start laughing out loud thinking how absurd this is. Is he making a move on me? I wonder idly.

"Shush, Ed, I'm trying to help you out here."

"Riiiight" I giggle. Then it hits me.

I'm freaking turned on by Jasper. I'm going to let this play out. ..

He takes my hands and places them on his hips then drapes his arms over my shoulders clasping them behind my neck. I snort, unable to keep a straight face. He chuckles quietly then stops and gazes at me.

"Show me Ed…" His moist lips are slightly apart, inviting.

"Oookay, it was kinda like this…" I close my eyes and let my mind visualize my encounter with Bella.

"I walked her out to her car and she was obviously nervous. I was pretty keyed up, hopeful. I was standing really close to her, like this" I move in towards Jasper. I feel his hands twitch. I feel his body heat radiating towards me.

"She dropped her keys and looked so vulnerable I couldn't help but reach out and caress her face like this" I brush the back of my hand along Jaspers face encountering light stubble rather than smooth softness. I feel his slight intake of breath, just like Bella.

"I retrieved her keys intending to return them to her straight away but I can't resist touching her. I run my hands down her arms lightly skimming her breasts, like this" I run my hands down Jaspers body from his shoulders feeling his hard muscles; such a contrast to Bella's soft curves, running my fingers over his nipples, I tug gently on his nipple ring. I feel the shudder that courses through Jasper as he tightens his hold on me. His breathing becomes erratic. My hands continue down to his hips.

'I reach behind her to unlock her truck and brush against her like this" I lean in to Jasper pressing my chest to his wishing I could press my naked skin against his exposed chest. Even in my inebriated state I'm a little shocked at how aroused I am by our little dance. My mouth brushes against his neck. I can't resist licking him from his collarbone up his neck along his strong jaw to a spot behind his ear where I softly kiss him.

"That last part was off script" I chuckle lightly feeling a little shy as I experiment; a breathy, barely audible moan escapes his lips.

"She places her bags in the car and turns towards me intending to bid me goodnight and this is when I turn into an animal" I breathe heavily as I grasp Jaspers hips tighter.

"I press myself up against her roughly like this" I aggressively pull Jasper's hips flush with my body and grind into him eliciting gasps and heavy breathing and whimpering from the both of us. He is hard. I am hard. His grip on me tightens as I feel his lips on my neck, planting wet kisses. I am rubbing myself up against him and I can feel his gyrating hips responding. I may just come in my pants; my dick is throbbing almost painfully.

"This is when she pushes me away, I didn't get a chance to kiss her" I breathe into his chest, my forehead planted on his shoulder looking down at our joined bodies as we continue to rub up against each other. His nipple ring bounces lightly against his pectoral muscle. I want to suck it in my mouth and tug on it. I watch Jasper's exposed abs clench with each thrust against my hips. I can feel his hardness and I have a sudden desire to undo his pants and take him in my hand or my mouth…oh fuck! What am I thinking?

"Her loss" Jasper growls as he takes my face in his hands and plunges his mouth onto mine roughly, parting my lips and fucking me with his tongue. This is the most intense kiss of my life; I can't get enough of his mouth as our tongues wrestle and tease and rub and…Unghh…

I pull away gasping my mouth dripping lips swollen; I can feel his panting huffs against my chest as I panic slightly trying to pull my face away from his grasp.

"No kissing," I say as I push him away but even as I say that, I realize this kiss was not as unwelcome as I would have anticipated.

"Stop Jasper; Jesus that was intense. I'm really polluted though I have got to get to bed and sleep this off."

"Shush, baby boy…So after Bella drives off you go straight home…" He licks up my neck to my earlobe catching it with his teeth then drawing into his mouth suckling it. I am on fire with arousal every inch of my skin is tingling; alert to the slightest touch of his fingers, his mouth. It dawns on me that I hadn't explored his body enough and I draw my hands up his chest and draw little circles on his nipples which grow noticeably hard. I pull lightly on his nipple ring again eliciting a low moan from Jasper.

"Uh no, my night didn't end there. I went back to the club had a few more beers, hooked up with a woman and went back to her place."

"Did you fuck her?" he growls into my ear as he turns me so my back is against his chest. His head perches on my shoulder, our faces grazing against each other, nuzzling. He slowly pushes his hard cock against my jean-clad ass. Oh, God, that feels amazing. He continues moving against me as he places his hands under the hem of my shirt and for the first time I feel him on my skin, tracing circles on my stomach, caressing me. His hand slides lower palming my cock squeezing me. That just about put me over the edge.

"Yeah…I fucked her like an animal…" I'm finding it difficult to speak as I'm completely focused on the sensations of his hands on my belly, sliding over my skin occasionally dipping lower tracing my arousal.

"Was it good?" He pulls me tightly into his erection and starts thrusting with a little more urgency.

"I didn't come. I was too rough almost violent, I didn't like what I was doing, I felt bad."

His hand drifts lower, lingering just above my erection.

"Do you want to?" He whispers licking my ear.

I can't.

"No, Jasper, I just want to go to sleep. I'm too drunk," I hear him let out a breath, deflated.

"Well, let's get you into bed then." He kisses me lightly on the lips.

I wonder idly, who's pushing me up the stairs and guiding me to my room. Oh yeah; It was a gruff male voice with a southern drawl. Some guy named Jasper; I giggle drunkenly. I'm 28 and I'm giggling. Somehow my clothes come off so I sprawl on my bed not bothering with the covers.

I had some amazing dreams while unconscious in an inebriated stupor. Lips kissing all over my face and neck, lightly and delicately barely touching me as they cover my body then finally, the best blow job in the history of man. I love dreams…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I awoke groaning with a killer headache. It must be late morning judging by the placement of the sun on the horizon. I'm completely nude, laid out on top of my covers, slightly chilled by my exposure. Someone took the time to put Tylenol and a glass of water on my nightstand. I roll over and make quick work of the pills drinking the water down completely still feeling dehydrated.

Jasper…I needed to talk to him about last night…

Every inhibition I'd ever had flew out the window last night and I needed to hash it out with him. He definitely put me at an arousal level I never been at and this was through a haze of alcohol…the last thing I remember clearly were his hands on my belly sliding over my skin while he thrust his rock hard…damn! The though of him was enough to…wait…is he gay? I don't think I am but then this was my first man on man experience and I liked it. I stroked myself at the memory but thoughts of him were not enough to stop my confused train of thought.

I crawled out of bed pulling on basketball shorts and a t-shirt and descended the stairs to seek out my new partner in crime as it were, I smiled…was this something I wanted to repeat? We'd barely touched each other but that dream! Fuck! I wanted to experience that for real and sober and with Jasper.

Was he already in a relationship? God, I hoped not…I didn't want a relationship but I was open to experimenting with him. A lot. This was so different and new and exciting, I felt optimistic for the first time in months.

I looked for Jasper; assuming he'd be downstairs with Alice. I find Alice alone in the kitchen. I need her to drive me to pick up my car I remind her. She nods distractedly eating a bagel.

"So where's Jasper?" I say, looking around the room expecting him to be lounging about with a lazy grin on his face.

"He left hours ago to catch a plane." My head starts to pound with a vengeance that even Tylenol cannot abate.

"Isn't he local?" I croak. Blood is rushing though my ears making it hard to focus on Alice's next words:

"Edward, he's been deployed to Afghanistan. Six months. We talked about it last night but you were so polluted I'm not surprised you don't remember. He regretted not having more time to hang out with you. I think he gets back in October." She takes her plate and rinses it in the sink.

My gut clenches, I had no clue.

"He left a note saying you guys had such a good time he wants to correspond with you."

She hands me an envelope. My body is almost unable to function as I realize I'm devastated and seriously pissed off that he did what he did last night, sucking me in and then just fucking leaves. I want to cry I miss him so much already. My seriously disturbed world has just been seriously disturbed.

I turn despite Alice's continued blather and run upstairs to change into jogging clothes. I leave via the back stairs and run with all I have as fast as I can down my little trail. I must have run five miles before I have to stop and catch my breath.

Then I cry a little. Pussy. Was this some kind of karma pay back for how I'd treated Vicky last night? It would seem so, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut.

Then I suck it up confused as to why I've had such a visceral reaction to a man I've known less than twenty four hours. I have to be ready to take over the business of running Cullen Vineyards come Monday. Dealing with my feelings for Bella suddenly seems like such a trivial issue, but I want to find a way to see if we can make something work. I am, after all a straight man.

First I'll need to get past last night. I close off my emotions once again. It was foolish of me to hope. Jasper has to take a back seat; I don't really know the guy; no need to get overwrought. But while he's definitely on my mind my family comes first. My reaction is out of all proportion and I chalk it up to the lingering effects of the Tanya debacle.

I run back to the house and without another word to anyone, refocus my energies on getting cleaned up, straightening my room and heading out to the office to prepare for Monday. I plan on spending most of the weekend in preparation, where else would I go? What else would I do?