Disclaimer: Doctor Who doesn't belong to me. The movie/board game Clue doesn't belong to me either.

A/N: This chapter is based on the movie Clue, but with a few science fiction twists. Hopefully, the Doctor and Clara are in character.

Clara was rather worried. She still wasn't sure if telling off that wizard was the best idea. Still, he'd probably stopped meddling with Earth's history.

"Clara?" the Doctor shouted from the console room.

Oh dear. He sounded annoyed.

She walked into the room, mentally preparing for a half-hearted scolding. To her surprise, he was reading something on the Physic Paper.

"We've been invited to a dinner party. In 1950s New England!" Eleven said with a wild grin.

"Who's hosting it?" Clara asked.

"No idea. And we're all using aliases! They're calling me Mr. Green. We'll need to invent a name for you, since you aren't technically on the list."

"How about s-"

"Not soufflé girl. That's a bit too suspicious.

"What about Miss Red? I've got a red dress."

"That's too dramatic! And there's already a Miss Scarlett."

"Can you tell me what names are already taken?"

"Peacock, White, Plum, Mustard, Green, and Scarlett."

After a moment of careful thought, Clara said: "Is 'Miss Orange' good enough?"

With a look of amusement, he nodded. A moment of thoughtful silence fell upon them.

The Doctor spoke first. "I hope I have a green bowtie, because-"

"Bows ties are cool. And I hope I have an orange dress."

"Haven't you seen my closet full of clothes from every era or planet?"

"Right."

Without further ado, the two ran off… each trying to find a stylish ensemble to wear to the party. Someone as enthusiastic as the Doctor shouldn't be allowed to choose outfits without supervision. Luckily, you can't really be late to an event when you have a time machine as your primary mean of transportation.

Clara burst out laughing when she saw the Doctor.

"You look like a leprechaun!" she cried, once she'd (mostly) stopped laughing.

"Do not!" he replied childishly.

"Just loose the frilly overcoat and you're fine."

So they parked the TARDIS amongst the front garden bushes. It was a dark, gloomy, stormy night. Perfect weather for a murder mystery. Though nobody yet realized, that's just what would happen.

They were greeted at the door by a stereotypical-looking butler.

"Hello. You must be Mr. Green and Miss Orange," he said in a sophisticated British accent.

"That's right," the Doctor replied cheerfully.

"My employer stated that you were the only guests already acquainted. Do come in."

After showing them into a foyer of some kind, he took their coats. Clara couldn't help but stare at the chandelier that hung above them. It somehow reminded her of the one in The Phantom of the Opera.

"Drinks are being served in the library. Some of the guests have already arrived, you know."

"What's your name again?" Clara asked.

"I'm the butler, Wadsworth," he replied as he opened the door.

Clara and the Doctor walked into the room. Indeed, six other people stood there. To Clara it looked like only five were actual guests. One of them was serving champagne and wearing what appeared to be a 'maid' costume from a cheap costume store. The guests all seemed a bit nervous.

"Hello… I'm Mr. Green," the Doctor said brightly, holding out his hand.

Nobody shook it.

"You lot seem a bit gloomy," said Clara.

A woman wearing an orange, feathery outfit and a mink scarf glared at Clara over her rhinestoned spectacles. "Confused, more like. Being dragged to the middle of nowhere for a dinner party and being addressed by a false name isn't something even I'm used too."

Before Clara could ask what the woman meant, they were called to dinner.

The dining room looked rather old fashioned, but in a nice way. There were candles on the table and the walls were papered with a simple pattern.

"You'll find your names by your places. Please be seated," the butler told them.

As she looked for her seat, Clara overheard the man in the dark red suit asking the butler whom the seat at the head of the table belonged to. For some reason he seemed to think it was for the butler. Apparently there was one more guest.

When she did find her seat, Clara was not pleased. She was between a tall man with glasses and the feathery-orange woman. The Doctor sat all the way across the table, next to a woman wearing an emerald green dress. Judging by the expression on his face he wasn't happy either.

The maid soon served them a strange soup of some kind. It looked rather unpleasant to Clara, but the Doctor seemed to enjoy eating it. After a while, everyone (save for Clara) had dug into his or her food.

"So!" the orange-feather lady said suddenly.

The Doctor dropped his spoon in surprise. That caused soup to splash all over the woman in the green dress.

"Watch it," she told him coldly.

The orange feather lady spoke again. "I often host parties, you know. If you're the wife of a- wait! We aren't supposed to say who we really are. What a game it'll be! You know I really like parties, and I do intend to-"

The Doctor interrupted her. "Well, then. Let's introduce ourselves. My name is Mr. Green."

"I'm Miss Scarlett," the woman in emerald said.

"I'm Mr. Mustard," said the man in the dark red suit.

"I'm Mrs. White," said a woman dressed in stylish mourning clothes.

"My name is Professor Plum," said the man next to Clara

"I'm… Miss Orange," Clara said.

"My name's Mrs. Peacock," finished the orange-feather lady.

A moment of extremely awkward silence fell upon them. Clara still hadn't tried her suspicious looking soup and almost did out of boredom. Thankfully a distraction soon appeared. Another guest.

"This is Mr. Boddy," the butler explained.

He had the look of a starved wolf trying to spot a weakness to exploit. The cruel look on his face chilled Clara.

"Are you our mystery host?" Mrs. Peacock asked.

"He too is a guest," Wadsworth the butler explained, before Mr. Boddy could even open his mouth.

Another moment of awkward silence.

"Should we now retire to the study for brandy?" the butler asked.

Everyone replied 'yes' in one way or another. Mostly via half-hearted nods or mumbled words. The appearance of the new guest had apparently unsettled everyone.

And so they all walked into the study. Wadsworth the butler picked up an envelope up off a desk. Since Clara wasn't the sort of person who liked brandy, she carefully watched the butler sort through papers. The expression of slight surprise on his face as he read made Clare extremely curious.

After a while he spoke. "You're probably wondering why you're here. Well, you're all being blackmailed. Don't deny it."

Mrs. Peacock glared at him. "How would you know that? Are you the blackmailer?"

"No, he isn't," Mr. Boddy said, smiling coldly. "I am."

The entire room went mad. Clara froze in shock at the sight of Mrs. Peacock cheering as Mrs. White kicked and punched Mr. Boddy. Both Professor Plum and Colonel Mustard were shouting him, with the former's insults increasingly poetic.

After a while, The Doctor and Wadsworth managed to break up the fight.

"All righty, then. We know you all hate him, and for good reason. Let's try to talk it out then " the Doctor began.

Everyone stared at him the way one might stare at a mildly interesting street performer while waiting for a bus.

"…or not."
The butler cleared his throat. "Anyway, you've all basically admitted to blackmail. And the blackmailer himself sits right in this very room. The police will be here in about forty-five minutes. Then, we can turn him over and end this once and for all."

A solemn silence settled over the room. Clara knew that she wasn't being blackmailed for anything, but decided to play along for the Doctor's sake.

"I haven't admitted anything," Mrs. White said, her voice shattering the delicate silence.

Everyone ignored her.

"So, does everyone agree? Shall we turn him in?" Wadsworth asked.

Before anyone could even begin to reply, Mr. Boddy got up from his chair and walked calmly into the hall.

"You can't leave, you know. All the windows are barred!" the butler shouted.

"Calm down. I'm just getting my briefcase," came the reply.

Indeed, Mr. Boddy returned momentarily carrying a briefcase.

"I've got some… gifts for everyone," he explained with a dark chuckle.

He handed each of them a box wrapped in wrapping paper, each adorned with cheerful ribbons. To Clara's annoyance, some of the static-y paper got stuck to her dress.

But it wasn't that that made her gasp in horror. It was the bottle marked 'rat poison'. Each 'gift' was apparently a weapon.

A wrench, a candlestick, a lead pipe, a knife, a revolver, and a noose.

"I'm going to turn the light out now, so one of us can kill Wadsworth. Then we can all quietly leave without any more trouble," Mr. Boddy explained.

"I don't think that's the best-" the Doctor began as Mr. Boddy turned the lights off. The sound of the pistol firing cut him off.

Both Clara and Mrs. Peacock screamed in terror.

Professor Plum turned the lights back on.

To everyone's surprise, the bullet had gone through the wall near the fireplace. It hadn't touched any of the guests.

"Oh, that gave me quite a scare…" Mrs. Peacock said, collapsing onto a couch.

"It gave everyone 'quite a scare'," replied Clara.

Suddenly, Mrs. White gave out a little shriek of horror. "Look! He's dead!"

"Who?" Mrs. Peacock and the Doctor asked at the same time.

"Mr. Boddy," replied Clara, her eyes wide with shock.

He lay facedown on the floor, blood pooling from a forehead wound. Though Clara had met her fair share of homicidal aliens, this still scared her. Somebody in this room did that. A human just like herself!

"Oh, he's ruining the carpet!" the butler cried.

Everyone glared at him.

He shrugged. "Well, it is my job to make sure everything's tidy. I'll get Yvette to clean it up."

Nobody objected to that… at least not verbally. The seven guests stood there, avoiding looking into each other's eyes.

"Seeing how you reacted to the blackmail thing, I'm sure nobody's going to confess to this," Clara said thoughtfully.

"Well, it's not like we even know who's getting blackmailed for what. Maybe a bit more honesty will help," the eleventh Doctor said.

"Doctor?" Clara whispered, "The first rule of being your friend is that you lie."

"They don't know that."

Clara rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"But what are we going to do about the fact that Mr. Boddy is now a dead body!" Mrs. Peacock shrieked hysterically.

"We're going to figure out who killed him," Professor Plum replied simply.

"So when the police arrive we can turn him in!" the Doctor shouted, his eyes agleam with excitement. Solving mysteries is fun.

"It might be a 'her'," Clara pointed out with a shrug.

Mrs. White nodded. "It could be anyone."

"So… who had a blunt instrument? That means candlestick, lead pipe, or wrench," said the Doctor.

Apparently he'd forgotten that everyone was supposed to be telling his or her secrets now. Not that the other minded…

"Well, I had the wrench in the first place. But I've been sitting across the room the entire time!" Miss Scarlett explained.

That didn't seem like it was going to work. Most people had dropped their weapons in surprise. Anyone could've picked up something.

"Maybe we should collect all the weapons and see which one has blood on it?" Clara asked.

"Clever idea," Colonel Mustard said cheerfully.

"Well then? Where are the weapons?"

Without further ado the seven guests piled the coffee table with seven weapons. To everyone's surprise, there didn't appear to be blood on any of them.

The Doctor got his Sonic Screwdriver out of his pocket and began scanning the weapons.

"What's he doing?" whispered Mrs. White.

"Scanning the weapons for traces of blood," Clara replied.

"None of these were used for hurting anyone. Not the slightest trace of blood…" he muttered.

"What killed Mr. Boddy, then!" Mrs. Peacock shrieked.

"We don't know!" shouted Professor Plum, annoyed at the woman.

Nobody spoke for a while. The only sound came from the crackling fireplace and the buzzing Sonic Screwdriver.

Suddenly, the Doctor shouted. "Aha! For once, the butler did it!"

"Speaking of which, where is the butler?" asked Mrs. Scarlett.

"I think he left to find Yvette the maid, so that she could clean Mr. Boddy's blood off the carpet," Mrs. White said thoughtfully.

Miss Scarlett raised an eyebrow. "I bet he's found her by now. He's probably up to something, since Yvette was only in the kitchen when he left the room."

They all walked to the kitchen. Together, nobody could hurt them. Or so they reasoned. Clara suspected that someone here wasn't human… or that they were not from this time period… or something.

When the got to the kitchen, they found Wadsworth the butler typing on a keyboard of some kind. It appeared to be built into the wall. Yvette was nowhere to be found… or so it seemed.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the Doctor asked.

The butler stared at him. "Mr. Green? Whatever do you mean?"

"Are you a robot or a shapeshifter or what? I know you're something that doesn't belong in 20th century New England. Or anywhere on earth for that matter. Who are you?"

"I'm a butler who used to work for Mr. Boddy," he insisted.

The Doctor began scanning Mr. Boddy with the screwdriver. "Ha! A hologram. I knew something was wrong with you!"

"What's he going on about?" whispered Mrs. Peacock.

"No idea," Clara replied.

"So what are you doing here? What's the point?"

The holographic butler began to flicker wildly. "To find… life is like…. this planet. My master…. know…"

And then he disappeared entirely.

Mrs. Peacock fainted dramatically. Everyone else looked extremely nervous.

"Everyone, go back to your cars. Go home. If the police really have been called they won't be here for a while. Just leave."

The Doctor began shooing people out (Mrs. Peacock had regained consciousness after Mrs. White kicked her).

After they'd all gone, Clara and the Doctor left.

"Should we really leave now?" Clara asked.

"It's none of our business, what happens next. Their government can handle it. We should leave now," replied the Doctor.

As they stood in the console room, Clara couldn't help but worry. Something seemed wrong.

Something about the holographic person.

A/N: Please Review!