Meredith slammed her hand on the alarm clock for the fifth time that morning. She didn't know why she even set it. It's not like she slept. She just laid there and cried all night. She had 30 minutes to get to work or she would be late. She knew Bailey would crawl her ass but that was better than the hell Derek , excuse me, Dr. Shepherd would cause her today. She still couldn't believe it. He had never spoken to her that way not even when he called her a whore. A knock startled her out of her musings.
"Mer? You awake? We're gonna be late and you're my ride." Izzie said.
"Have Alex take you Izzie. I am not going"
"Oh god, not again Mer. What is wrong now. You rocked the clinical trial. I figured you would be thrilled. And Alex isn't really speaking to me right now because… You know what that's not important right now. Come on Mer, get up!"
"I can't Izzie, I can't face him today… I just can't." Meredith's voice cracked and her eyes started to fill with tears.
" Mer? Oh Mer, what's wrong? Tell me maybe I can help. I know I am not Cristina but I do care about you. You are my family and I want to help you. Please."
"Oh god Izzie it hurts…it just hurts so much. Derek said he didn't want me near him and he meant it! Oh Izzie what have I done? I pushed away the only person I have ever truly loved and he hates me now."
" Hates you. Mer, this is Derek we are talking about. He loves you. Everyone knows that!"
"You didn't hear him Iz. He was so cold. His eyes were so cold." She sobbed.
"Mer just give him space but I am sure this will all blow over."
" You really think so Iz?"
" Yes just trust me. Now let's go to work."
" Okay I will be down in 10 minutes. Iz?"
"Yeah Mer?"
"Thanks for listening and being there or whatever."
"You're welcome. See you downstairs in 10. And put some makeup on, you look like crap."
Meredith rolled her eyes and smiled a little. Maybe things would blow over. She got up and began her day.
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Derek trudged into the hospital. He had gotten absolutely no sleep the night before. He couldn't get the look on Meredith's face out of his mind. It took so much out of him to say that to her last night. He hated being cruel to her but he didn't see any other choice. They were toxic together. It would be better in the long run for them to move on from each other and if possible, be happy with someone else.
"Hey Derek, wait up man! I hear you finally succeeded with the trial. If it would have been my trial I would have had victory first week out, but you are not the great the Mark Sloan."
"Thank God for that."
"What's up man? Why do you look like someone boiled your bunny?"
"Shut up Mark! I don't have time for your particular brand of humor today, Ok?"
"Seriously man. What's wrong?"
"I told Meredith that I wanted nothing to do with her ever again. And I meant it. You were right. She will never be ready, she was just jerking me around. I deserve more than that, right? Rose is ready and she is great."
" Since when do you ever listen to me? Are you sure about this? I know what I told you but you really loved Meredith. I mean you hit me just for talking to her and don't say that was about Addie because I know better than that. I know you Derek and you're not like that. And as for Rose, you know there is a reason I never slept with her, right."
"She wouldn't have you? That is one of the reasons she appealed to me."
" Aren't you afraid you will die of sugar shock if you are near her too long? I mean come on man, eventually all of that crap will go to her hips and rot her already very prominent teeth. I'm just saying."
" Mark? Shut up and let's get to work already." Derek said walking away.
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"Shit Mer! What the hell happened to you?" Cristina exclaimed as Meredith walked into the resident's locker room.
"McBastard happened to me, that's what!"
"What did he do now?"
" He refuses to work with me or speak to me or look at me. He says I am toxic. Oh and he wants to be with someone who doesn't get drunk and fuck random guys!"
" Um….Wasn't he a random guy?"
"My point exactly!" Meredith's shoulders slumped. " What do I do? He was so mean Cristina."
"Mer I am your person so don't take this wrong way, but you are acting like a weak ass pussy bitch. Why the fuck do you even care or better yet why are you surprised. Shepherd has done nothing but fuck you up and leave you to mend on your own. Get over him, move on and suck it up. If he is treating you like shit, it is because you are letting him. You are stronger than this. I mean you came back from the dead. Just ignore him and move on. Please."
"You're right! I don't need this. Thanks."
"Anytime. Now lets take all this newfound aggression of yours and go torture the interns."
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Derek was writing in Beth's chart by the nurse's station when Rose came up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Hey are we still on for tonight? I thought I would make us dinner."
Derek looked at Rose and then at the piece of chocolate in her hand. Mark's words came from earlier came to him but he shook it off. Rose was steady and sure and most of all she wouldn't run for the hills if he mentioned the word future. Unlike a certain blond-haired 2nd year resident…wait, not thinking about her. He was moving on.
"Yeah, I guess that just depends on when I get out of here. I will let you know, okay?"
"Okay. Uh…are you alright? You seem a little…distant this morning. I thought you would be walking on the moon. I mean your trial was a success. I thought you and Dr. Grey would be celebrating. All of your hard work finally paid off."
Derek's head jerked up when he heard Meredith's name. "Do not mention Dr. Grey to me ever unless it is in a professional capacity. Okay?"
"O…Okay." Rose said really confused. Derek never acted like this.
"I'm sorry Rose. I am just tired. I will try to see you tonight." With that he walked towards the elevator leaving a worried Rose behind.
Meredith walked with Izzie and Cristina towards the elevator after they got their assignments from Bailey. The Pit! She got the Pit. Going there after the months of doing the clinical trial was going to hell. At least she didn't get the clinic. No offense to Izzie but she was like Tinkerbell on crack when she was in the clinic.
"Earth to Meredith! Snap out of it! Don't make me kick your ass cause I so will."
" I am fine Cristina."
"Oh Cristina she said she was fine. That means not fine in Meredithland." Izzie said.
"No she said she was fine, she is fine."
"Look at her"
" I am looking at her and she looks like hell and…"
"Hey! I am standing right here." Meredith exclaimed as she pushed the elevator down button. She was so glad to know her friends were so supportive she thought sarcastically.
The elevator doors opened. Meredith made to get on the elevator but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the two occupants. "Great just fucking wonderful" she thought. McBastard and his friend McManwhore.
She stepped into the elevator with Izzie and Cristina behind her. She faced the doors with her back to Derek and Mark. The silence was deafening.
"So Grey I hear congratulations are in order. You and Shep finally did it, huh?" Mark said.
"Yeah we did." Meredith stated not looking anywhere but the doors.
"No I did it, Dr. Grey did the research but I did it. I made it a reality, Mark not her. I developed the virus, I did the surgeries. She read the stats like a nurse. Period."
Meredith stood there in shock this time looking at her feet. Cristina, Izzie and Mark stood there slack jawed looking between Derek and Meredith.
Cristina's eyes flashed. "You wait just a damn minute! You wouldn't have even done this trial if it wasn't for her. She put her blood, sweat and tears into this you stupid …"
"Christina …stop! Just leave it …stop. He is entitled to his opinion but I would appreciate it if he would keep it to himself and be professional while we are at work."
"I don't intend to see you outside of work Dr. Grey. "
"Then we shouldn't have anything more to say to each other Dr. Shepherd."
"I am just getting started Dr. Grey." Just then the doors opened and Derek pushed past her and out the door leaving Mark, Izzie and Cristina looking at Meredith and each other wondering what the hell that was all about. And wondering what they were going to do about it.