Disclaimer... not mine, if it was I wouldn't be the poor struggling student I am! Lol
The next day dawned to find me curled up in bed with Edward; our eyes closed, looking like slumber to the casual observer. We'd got into the habit in the last year of spending some time lying like this almost every night. It intermitted the endless day that we were given when we stopped needing to sleep. Sometimes it was for only a minute, other times it was for hours, but for a while at least it was nice to have a sense of normality.
I lay there with my cheek against my husband's sculpted chest, listening to the soothing sound of his slow, rhythmic breathing as the first shafts of light broke through the white billowy curtains, when an idea slowly crept into my brain.
"Edward" I spoke aloud for the first time in hours, "I've been thinking about something, and I want your opinion", I shifted my weight slightly so I could see his face more clearly, his expression was puzzled and he gestured for me to continue. "I've been practicing so much, and I think that it would just be easier for both of us from now on if I remove my shield permanently".
I was expecting a joyous reaction, or at least a smile. Edward had been complaining since we first met about how frustrating it is for him to not be able to read me, and I hardly think that the occasional glimpses I give him now that I can are enough to ease that. Instead of happiness, I got a wary, worried expression.
"What?" I asked, feeling slightly hurt that he didn't appreciate my gesture, "I thought this would make you happy"
"Silly Bella" he chastised me gently, smiling slightly now "it would make me immensely happy for me to be able to hear your mind all the time. But, what if we come into danger again? I couldn't bear it if someone were injured or worse because I was selfish enough to want to be inside your private mind"
"I didn't mean 100% of the time!" I was shocked, he was supposed to be the intelligent, logical one in this relationship "I meant that instead of it being there and me consciously removing it, I might try to live without it, and consciously turn it on"
"Really? You would do that? For me?"
"Edward, I have told you before: there's nothing I wouldn't do for you" I leant forward and gently pressed my lips to his "I tell you everything that you don't already know anyway, so really, this is nothing"
He flashed me his signature smile and leant in for another kiss, but his lips were met with my hand, which was now glittering in the morning light that was pouring through the window.
"I do have a few conditions though. Firstly, obviously what you see and hear stays between us as always. Second, if I put my shield up it will be for a good reason, and I need you to trust me and not question me, or be offended" he cringed slightly and I knew he was recalling when I made a contingency plan for our daughter and Jacob. The only way the plan would have worked was for me and my shielded mind to tell no one, so it could not get back to Aro.
"Sounds fair to me, but please don't feel like you have to do this." He looked deep into my eyes and I felt love swell in my un-beating heart.
"I want to, silly, or I wouldn't have suggested it. Oh, maybe it's best if I keep it up sometimes when Alice and Rosalie force me to have 'girl talk', you really don't want to hear what they say"
He laughed lightly, "You are probably correct. So when does this new arrangement start?"
"No time like the present" I pondered about the best way to do this "But I'm going to try it a different way, so it might not work or hold"
He opened his mouth to speak, and I held one finger up to stop him. I'd always imagined my shield as a bubble or a balloon which I was inside that I could stretch, shape or move out of at will, so to remove it permanently I could think of three ways to do it:
I could push it away from me like I do to show Edward something, but that would take constant concentration, and it still slips very occasionally when I'm distracted.
I could expand it as big as I could make it so that Edward was also inside it, which would give the added bonus of protecting him against any unexpected attack, but again, I don't think I could keep it up permanently; which leads me to...
I was thinking about doing the opposite of usual, and shrinking my shield to as small as it would go and sucking it inside of me. Since I wasn't technically removing it, I thought it would be easier to hold, plus when I'm stressed/in danger, it tends to explode out, so it'll be there ready and waiting if I need it.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on shrinking my shield, focusing it to a point in the middle of my stomach. It was easy really, and once I felt it leave my head it stayed exactly where I left it, with no effort what so all.
"It worked!" I thought "I reckon I can hold this here forever, how's the reception on your end?"
Edward grinned broadly and kissed me deeply. He pulled away whispering "I love you."
"Right lazy bones, we can't stay here all day, as much as I might want to, you just know we'd be jumped on by an annoying little pixie if we do" I hopped out of bed with my vampire grace, and walked into the giant closet, sniffing for anything un-fancy to wear. As I reached for the bottom draw where I knew there was a pair of jeans stashed, I heard quiet muttering coming from the bedroom.
"I don't want to get out of bed; I want to stay here with the woman I love"
Smiling, I headed back to him, planning on getting right back into bed with him "Aw, I love you too Edward"
"Huh?" he again looked confused. "I know you do, but why did you just say that?"
Was he trying to be funny? "Because I just heard you say it to me first, and how you didn't want to get of bed"
His eyes widened "Bella, I didn't say anything."
"Yes, you did!" this was frustrating; if he was making fun of me I didn't appreciate it.
"No" he said slowly, as if he was explaining himself to a child, "I thought it. In my head. No words"
"Can you hear this" I heard his voice in my head as clear and smooth as ever, but his lips never moved.
"Oh my gosh!" I thought, sinking onto the bed in shock as Edward slid out of the way "Does this mean I can hear everyone's thoughts, just like you?"
"I don't know" Edward looked completely perplexed "I think we need to find out though. Come on, we'll head up to the house and talk to Carlisle"
20 minutes later and I was sitting in Carlisle's office, with him behind the desk as Edward paced around restlessly. We had dropped Renesmee in the kitchen with Esme who was cooking up a ridiculously large breakfast for her.
"So you removed your shield and ever since then you can hear Edward's thoughts?" my father in law confirmed as I nodded, still slightly numb with shock "I've been purposefully blocking my mind so as to not shock you. Tell me if you can hear anything coming from me that isn't coming from my mouth, I'm going to count in my head"
I looked at him, and.... silence. I sighed and bowed my head, partly relieved, partly disappointed.
"Hmm, maybe she can only hear you Edward. That's interesting" My head snapped up just in time to see that Carlisle didn't say that aloud.
"I heard that!" I yelped. Carlisle looked at me with an odd expression on his face.
"Bella", Carlisle's voice again filled my head
"And that!" I wheeled around to look at Edward, hearing him reciting the alphabet backwards. "And that!"
"How odd" Carlisle said, leaning back as if to get a better look at me "I have been thinking of random , meaningless thoughts and you only reacted when I though your name. It seems that you can only hear my thoughts when they are about you, or directed to you. A very useful talent."
"But I just heard Edward saying the alphabet backwards, that's not about me" I was beyond confused at this point.
"Curious," Carlisle said. "Edward please sit down, the pacing is not helping anybody" Edward picked me off my chair, sat on it and placed me in his lap with a quick smile. I smiled back and turned so I could rest my cheek on his shoulder.
"Are you OK?" he thought.
"Fine, just a bit overwhelmed" I replied, marvelling at how easily we could communicate privately. He squeezed me gently into a hug. I say gently, it probably would have cracked all of my ribs when I was human.
"I have a theory." Carlisle said, bursting our bubble of silence. "The two of you have always been, how can I put this? ... Interlinked. Your lives have been completely for each other since you met. I still stand by my previous idea of you only being able to hear thoughts about you or ones people want you to hear; I just think that every thought Edward has is one that he wants you to hear."
Edward tilted his head slightly to the left and I could hear him slowly repeating Carlisle's theory in his head. His eyes had that hard, solid colour that they got when something was worrying him.
"Makes sense to me," I said, "but why is this happening at all? I've already got my special vampy power, I'm a shield!"
"Again, I have a theory..." Carlisle turned to Edward "After I changed you, how long it was until you first heard somebody's thoughts?"
"I'm not sure, several months I suppose" Edward replied "before then it was just a bit of noise in the background. Do you think that's what's happening to Bella?"
"Perhaps. It was just over a year ago that Bella was changed; maybe she is officially no longer a newborn and only now fully aware of her powers. Maybe because it was your venom that caused her change, she has developed a portion of your abilities. Maybe her shield as blocking some of her own mental abilities, not just everyone else's, and now it is gone it isn't anymore."
All three options made a weird sort of sense to me; I didn't really care why this was happening to be honest.
"I'll leave the two of you alone, I'm sure you've got a lot to 'chat' about" Carlisle tactfully withdrew from his office.
I turned to Edward and tried to know what he was thinking, but it was silent.
"Edward..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say exactly.
He must have heard something in my tone, heard something in my thoughts or felt something in my body that was still perched on his lap, because suddenly his eyes softened and I knew that everything would be OK.
"Bella I'm sorry, I love you. Everything will be fine, it's better than fine." His lips weren't moving but his voice was as beautiful as always in my mind.
"What Carlisle said, about all your thoughts being for me... makes me realise how lucky I am to have you" He smiled at me again and I crumbled. I leant in to kiss him, my lips moulding perfectly around his. "This is totally going to work to our advantage you know"
"I know" he smirked in an evil way, an expression I was used to seeing on Emmett's face more than anybody else's. "We can have totally private conversations in front of everybody. Plus with me being able to read everyone's mind, and you being able to read mine; you can hear whatever I hear."
I was gobsmacked, I hadn't even thought about that.
"In a way I'm glad it's taken this long to kick in. Because if I got this a year ago I probably wouldn't have noticed or developed my shield underneath the awesomeness of this, and we'd all be dust or in dark cloaks right about now." I threaded my fingers between his and cuddled closer to his muscular chest.
"True" he whispered and kissed me sweetly lips never leaving mine, he continued "did I ever thank you for that by the way?"
"Yes, every single minute of every single day" I recognised the path that this kiss was taking so I pulled away with regret. "I think it's time we go tell the others. Can I please have fun with it first though?"
"Of course, my love" he stood up quickly and moved his arms so he was carrying me bridal style. I laughed and he ran at full speed from the room, down the hall and stairs and dropped me on the sofa next to our daughter who was happily eating her breakfast of banana pancakes – one of the only human foods she actually liked. Edward sat between me and Nessie and put an arm around each of us, pulling us both into a hug as Esme removed the plate from where it was precariously balanced on the arm.
"Someone's in a good mood today" Emmett said, glancing away from his video game for all of 2 seconds. "Bet Bella gave him the good loving last night"
I looked at Edward and we both had to bite our bottom lips to keep from laughing.
"So Nessie, what have you got planned for the day?" I asked cheerily.
"Uncle Jazz is going to teach me some history." She answered, smiling angelically up at her father and I.
Since she obviously couldn't go to school since she was changing too much, we've all been educating her at home. We didn't have a fixed timetable but between us we tried to do a couple of hours of something educational every day. Jasper taught her history, Carlisle taught her biology which, quite frankly, was almost at the level I was studying when I sat with Edward as a junior. Alice used her decades of shopping to do maths with Renemee, and I used my love of the classics to put a bit of literature in the mix. Emmett tried to claim that video games were PE, and Rosalie helped with art. Esme and Edward filled in the rest, and apparently due to yesterday's revelation, taught her to play the piano.
"Sounds fun," I said, reaching over Edward to hug her myself. "and then I'm guessing you're playing dress up with Alice"
"Yes she is," Alice bounced in and snatched Nessie up into her arms and carried on bouncing "Lucky for me, someone from the Swan clan inherited the fashion genes from somewhere"
"That's lovely Alice, but can you put her down? She's just eaten" I asked, watching Renesmee's curls bouncing up and down.
"Oops, sorry buddy" she said, standing still for what might just have been the first time in her existence. "Although maybe if I carried on, she'll throw up on that ugly outfit Bella's wearing and she'll have to change. Why I let her keep jeans and casual clothes I will never know... and I'm psychic! I'm just too nice, and underappreciated, that's it! No thanks for the effort I put in to these things, it's ru-"
"Alice!" I interrupted her mental rant, "I just wanted to say thanks again for the party last night. It was perfect, exactly what I wanted" I saw Edward look away to hide his expression.
"Good one" he thought.
Alice looked shocked for a fraction of a second before her face split into a smile that seemed too big for her little face
"You are more than welcome!" she strolled out of the room, Nessie in tow.
"Hope you're having fun" Edward was looking at Emmett "He's wondering why I'm not annoyed with him for his mental innuendo earlier. I think I should tell him it's because what he said was very true. Play along?" I nodded ever so slightly.
"Emmett?" he called and the muscle mountain that was our brother swivelled around in his gaming chair with a ridiculously overly innocent look on his face.
"Yes little brother?"
"I'm not mad at you" Edward said. Emmett looked confused "I can't be mad at you for stating a fact!"
"Oh my god!" Emmett literally jumped out of the chair and grabbed my husband into a bone crunching bear hug. "I have never been so proud of you. You just.... admitted.... oh my god!"
"What was that for Emmett?" I asked, giving him a wide eyed look from my seat.
He dumped Edward back unceremoniously and looked awkward. He was still holding true to the arrangement he made when I beat him in an arm wrestle; no sexual innuendos or references about Edward and I.
"Errr nothing Belly-button, just... err... you know... guy stuff!" he looked proud at his answer.
"You mean sex?" I asked bluntly "We had a deal Emmett!" I was struggling not to slip as I kept an annoyed expression.
"No Bella, it's not sex, it was a sports reference" Edward said from behind Emmett's back, winking at me, and then pointing to his ear then temple.
I listened to Edward's thoughts and was shocked to hear Emmett's voice "thanks man, I owe you one"
Emmett then went out to the garage to see Rosalie who was yet again tinkering with his Jeep. We followed slightly and sat on the front porch. I could hear Emmett whispering frantically to his wife, and while I couldn't make out the words, I could guess it was about what just happened
"Yea well Bella's shy about sex, inexperienced, not her fault. She must be bad in bed!" I heard Rose's thoughts.
"I am not Rosalie!" I called loudly, offended at her opinions, without thinking.
She was in front of me in a second, staring wildly.
"How did you hear me?"
Busted.
A/N You like? Lemme know