(Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. I appreciate it!)
Part two: Brennan's POV.
The problem did not lie in her feelings for Booth; she'd had sufficient time to examine them, analyze them, turn them over and over in her mind to see how the edges matched up. Pretending ignorance of emotional matters was a coping strategy that had served well over the years, but she was too fundamentally honest to lie to herself--or to Booth, for that matter--any longer. If she could claim to have any comprehension of the concept of "love," then that term certainly applied to how she felt about her partner. She could accept that.
The problem was Booth himself. Brennan had made a practice of keeping her relationships, if not superficial, precisely, at least uncomplicated; if she avoided entanglement from the outset, it made the inevitable disconnection that much easier. Booth didn't do superficial, and already she was more deeply tangled up with him than she'd ever thought to be with anyone. Saying yes to Booth, yes to taking that final irreversible step, meant saying no to other people and things to come, meant saying maybe or maybe later and having to take another person even more deeply into consideration than she already did.
(It occurred to her that she had lied, though unknowingly, to Gordon Wyatt: apparently there was something she wouldn't do for Booth. Not yet, anyway.)
Saying yes to Booth had an air of finality about it. There would be no changies, no takebacks, and while her treacherous heart muscle (or whatever it was producing that crushing hollow ache in the center of her chest) was entirely in favor of plunging right in, her finely-honed brain was winning the day with its more measured approach. Saying yes while there was even the hint of maybe left in her was simply not an option. Stronger than her fear of being hurt was the newly-born fear of hurting him; and she knew, if she knew anything, that if she walked into this unprepared she'd end up doing just that. Better a sting now than a stab later; she knew that, too.
Her mind turned back to the letter she'd gotten the week before, the letter she'd been putting off answering. She thought now she could do so; she only wished it didn't feel so much like running away.