A/N: I'm feeling slightly guilty, so an immediate chapter after publishing this awesome *cough, cough* story! Oh, and those who haven't read Finding Moo-Bah, please do so! But, if you aren't stuffed to do so, then don't get confused when Lily's hanging out with the Marauders. This chapter (as with all my stories' second chapter, for some odd reason) doesn't really continue with the plotline. A few people have already added this to their story alerts so I was kinda stuck for ideas, since I left my idea portfolios in my locker :O

A/N: Oh, and check out mah profile! (It has an explanation of canon and not so canon characters [I'll be adding Remus, Peter, Severus and Sirius when I feel like it])

Sirius Black's Book of What Not to Do with James Potter - CHAPTER ONE: BREAKFASTING WITH PEANUTS

RING! RING! RINGADINGDINGYDINGDING! RING! DONG! GET UP YOU LAZY IMBECILES!

The alarm clock of the boys' dormitory rang out through the room, much to the annoyance of James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. James' hand searched his bedside table before he fell out of his bed.

"It's not on mine," he mumbled over the alarm clock, which was now insulting them for not getting up. Remus glanced at his dresser, before cuddling up to his blankets.

"Not on mine," he said, before rolling to his side and falling off his bed, too.

Sirius groaned, slamming his hand on his dresser. The ringing didn't stop.

"Definitely not on mine," he said, comfortably staying in one place. A owl hooted next to him, however, and he fell out of his bed. "Ruddy owl."

The ringing continued.

"PETER!" They all yelled from the ground, not even bothering to get up. Peter woke up and panicked in his sheets, thinking that the ghosts were out to get him. Throughout his panic attack, he had smashed the clock which groaned feebly and mumbled sarcastically, "Thanks."

"BACON!"

Sirius flew to the Gryffindor table, immediately attacking the bacon. James, Remus and Peter laughed at their friend's antics. James grabbed a box of cereal without glancing at the name and he poured it into a bowl. He poured milk in after and started stirring his breakfast.

Lily Evans and Dory Tonks floated into the hall, having met on the stairs moments before.

"Hello boys," yawned Lily. Dory passed the Gryffindor table and went to the Hufflepuff table, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. Lily sat next to Sirius, grabbing a plate of toast.

"I'm so tired. It took forever to clean off the makeup," complained Lily after a few moments of silence.

"What did you do with the clown suits?" asked James. "I want to hang them on my bed curtains."

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" James asked, before munching on his cereal. Suddenly, he puffed up like a blowfish.

"Dammit! He ate the Peanut and Chocolate cereal!" growled Sirius as the four of them hauled James up the Grand Staircase.

James gurgled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. What have you been eating?" asked Sirius, dragging him onto the Fourth Floor.

James gurgled again.

"The Peanut and Chocolate cereal, apparently," replied Remus, puffing.

"How did you two gather that?" asked Lily, struggling to lift him up the stairs.

"We speak James!" they sang together.

"What happened?" spluttered the Healer, Madam Pomfrey, as she spotted the five students dragging a red, gurgling James into the Hospital Wing.

"Well, you see, the long and short of it is, that, James over here has had a bit of an accident at breakfast, you see - " James gurgled angrily at Sirius, who flashed him a grin.

"Madam, James has had an allergic reaction to the Peanut and Chocolate cereal," cut in Lily when Sirius had stopped stalling.

"I see. Put him over there," Madam Pomfrey pointed at an empty bed nearest the five friends.

Remus and Sirius unceremoniously chucked James' upper half onto the bed while Lily and Peter gently placed his feet onto the bed. Sirius snorted at the face James gave him and Lily threw Sirius a glare that could wither stone.

Madam Pomfrey immediately took over, and soon James was back to normal.

"Well, that was fun," drawled Sirius sarcastically.

"Now, now, Padfoot, you're almost sounding like Shnapey-wapey!" admonished James, trying to get up. Madam Promfrey kept pushing him back down, tsking.

"You'll have to wait until I'm completely and utterly sure that you are alright."

James rolled his eyes and stopped trying to get up, muttering about crazy, perfectionist Healers.

Sirius was found in his bed, scribbling into his book furiously.

What not to do with James Potter, number two: Never, EVER, let James have the Peanut and Chocolate cereal!