Author's Note
While not much of the plot is going to change, the settings have been almost completely swapped for the early chapters. Also, this chapter switches everything to the past tense, because I reached the end of my patience with the present-tense narrative.

I'll also say here that it's really thanks to all the people who reviewed this story the first time round, that this rewrite is even happening. So thank you, all!

The original AN for this chapter thanked Ginnyandhermionerock, LTJM and Shannon 012495 for reviewing, so a special shout out to you guys who were here way back at the beginning.

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CHAPTER TWO: BREAKING THE NEWS

Dewey stood staring at the phone for a minute or so once his dad had gone. He had a sister. A sister. It shouldn't feel this different, but felt as if the whole family had been changed dramatically by her arrival, and he hadn't even seen her yet. Well, it looked like he was going to be acting as family messenger, so he'd better start making calls. The last number for Francis, on a piece of paper stuck to the fridge, was dated two months ago, so he hoped it was still in use.

His oldest brother answered on the third ring. ''Hello?''

''Hi, Francis.''

''Dewey? What's up?''

''The baby was born.''

''What? No! Really? When?''

''Today. While I was at school.''

''Whoa! Is he okay?''

''Who?''

''The baby, doofus.''

''She's fine.''

''She?''

"Yep."

"...Wow."

Grinning, Dewey hung up the phone, leaving Francis to process that information.

Next he dialled the number for Craig Feldspar. Reese had been lodging at Craig's for the last few months, since he became the janitor of North High.

''Hello?''

Craig answered almost before the first ring. Understandable, really, he probably didn't get a lot of phone calls. ''Hi Craig. It's Dewey. Is Reese there?''

''Oh.'' Craig sounded disappointed. ''Reese... Phone for you. He's baking cookies,'' Craig informed Dewey.

''Craig, I'm at a crucial stage with these cookies, this had better be good,'' Dewey heard Reese say, before grabbing the phone. ''Who is it?''

''It's Dewey.''

''Well, what do you want, brat?''

''Mom had the baby.''

There was silence for a second. ''Oh.''

''It's a girl.''

"Ha. Ha.''

''I'm not kidding, it actually is a girl."

"Okay, Dewey, whatever you say. I'm going back to my cookies. I'll come over later."

Dewey sighed. Typical Reese. Now for Malcolm.

He dials the number scrawled underneath ''Harvard Janitor's Office''. A voice he doesn't recognise answers.

''Hello?''

''Hi, um, is Malcolm there?''

''Who?''

''Malcolm Wilkerson? He's an assistant janitor?''

''He's on duty at the moment, can I take a message?''

''Just tell him Dewey called, and that he now has a sister.''

''I'll tell him, and he can call you back when he gets off shift.''

''Thanks.''

Dewey hung up the phone, task complete. He wondered briefly what would change with a girl in the house. Well, his mom was a girl, technically, but she didn't count, because... Well, she didn't count. The only other girl in the family was Piama, she and Francis weren't around very much. The new baby - when their parents finally decided on a name - would be there all the time, and that's going to be very different.

The phone began to ring again, and he picked up, wondering if life on a switchboard or in a call centre would suit him, because it was becoming a full-time occupation. "Hello?"

''Dewey?" It was Francis. "We're on our way over. Can I talk to Mom?''

''Nope. She's at the hospital, dumbass, she just had a baby.''

''Okay, and Dad?''

''He's with her.''

''He's at the hospital? He hates the hospital.''

''I know, but that's where he is."

''All right. Well, we'll be there in a couple of hours. See you.''

Dewey put the phone down, and was about to turn the TV on when the doorbell rung. Apparently there was no end to this.

He opened the door to find Craig standing there, with Reese close behind. Reese was carrying a huge tray of cookies.

''So, where's the baby?'' asked Craig as he stepped inside.

''They're at the hospital." Dewey replied. His mother had had most of her children at home, so it looked like that would be a statement he would be making many times over today.

Reese carefully laid the tray of cookies on the kitchen table. ''You were kidding about it being a girl, right?''

''Nope.''

Reese still looked suspicious. "Really?''

''Really."

''Oh, nooo,'' Reese wailed, ''you know how awful I am at talking to girls!''

''Reese, she's about six hours old. I don't think it'll make that much difference what you say to her.''

''Have they thought of a name yet?'' Craig asked through a mouthful of cookie.

''Hey, quit eating those!'' Reese snapped. ''I didn't make them just so they could be eaten!''

''Then why did you make them?'' Dewey inquired, innocently. Then, to Craig, ''No. They haven't thought of a name. They didn't even have a name ready for a boy. Talk about being prepared.''

''I made them so...so...well, I didn't make them just so Craig could stuff his face!'' Reese spluttered.

''I like Helga,'' said Craig. ''Or... Or Wonderwoman.''

Dewey gave Craig a strange look, and was about to say something, but was interrupted by the phone ringing yet again.

''Hello?''

''HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?''

''Malcolm?''

''How could you have A GIRL? In what way do you think that is remotely...hang on, Dewey?''

''That's my name."

"Where's Dad?"

''At the hospital, with Mom and...'' Dewey looked at Craig, and grinned, ''Wonderwoman.''

''...Wonderwoman.''

''Yup. That's what they decided to call her.''

''Okay, that isn't funny...but you know what, with this family I wouldn't even be surprised. I'm coming home.''

Dewey frowned. ''Are you allowed?''

''Yes. I would be coming home tomorrow anyway for spring break, and they said it was fine."

"Okay, well. When will you be here?"

"Three, four hours?"

"All right."

Dewey hung up the phone, then looked at Craig and Reese. ''Malcolm's on his way. Francis and Piama, as well."

Reese was already examining the kitchen cupboards, "Then I'd better get started on snacks."

Dewey rolled his eyes. Reese's 'snacks' were famous for their overcompensation and ridiculously long preparation time. Still, at least the family would all be together.

Even as he thought that, he grinned to himself. Yes, the family being together wasn't always the best arrangement when it came to sanity or safety or...any of those things. But at least their new sister would always know where she stood with them.