"You're in trouble now."
The voice behind him brought him out of the mists. So to speak. The presence of the boy meant he was either unconscious or asleep. Either that or not drunk enough.
"I've told you to leave me alone." He'd done more than that. Tried to anyway. Pulled imaginary guns on him. Hurled abuse. Things he would never have done to the child, or any child, in real life. Still, the boy plagued him. Cortes had given up trying to make the apparition disappear.
"They're going to make you pay for what you did to the Leviathan. For what you did to me. And everyone after that. They'll make you pay."
"Is that supposed to scare me? It's what I deserve. And it can't be any worse than seeing you day after day after day."
"You can't let them."
"I thought you wanted to punish me. That's why you're here, isn't it?"
A slight smile twisted the boy's lips. "You don't believe in ghosts, Cortes. You don't even believe in the Prophecy. I'm not me; I'm a figment of your imagination and you don't believe in anything that could give you the luxury of thinking otherwise. You want to break free. You want to keep on destroying ships and peoples' lives."
"Stop!" Fingers pushed through his hair, digging into his temple, Cortes stumbled back. "That's not what I'm doing. If, if that was what I was doing I wouldn't want to escape…"
"You know that's what you're doing," the boy continued, his voice calm as always.
Cortes' hands balled into fists; he forced himself to look up. "Why do you always have to come as him!? If you're just my mind why not appear as me!? Believe me I'd have no trouble tearing you apart even if you just kept coming back!"
"This is the only person you'll listen to."
"He's dead!" Cortes roared. As the words left his lips, any ounce of anger he'd managed to work up dissipated. His hands dropped to his sides. "Cheng is dead. If I had listened to him…" He swallowed hard, fighting the tears that always came when he spoke with this, this thing. "If I had listened to him I would have known he was on that ship."
Cheng nodded. "And so you listen to me now. Yes, you would have known. And you wouldn't have let the ship perish. And then what would have happened to the rest of the fleet?"
"Damn the rest of the fleet."
"You would have let your emotions get in the way, and they would have been destroyed. The rebellion would have fallen. Again. But I would be alive. And you wouldn't be a monster."
Cortes sighed, hanging his head. "And only a monster can do what I do."
Cheng nodded. "You've got nothing. You are nothing. You lost all of your worth when you betrayed the Leviathan and its crew. This is the only thing left you can do. And if you don't someone else will have to. Do you think Mahad would? That he could?"
"No…"
"Exactly. Cortes… wake up."