KrazyCullen13: Hello again, we're back with Chapter 2. This chapter will be a bit confusing. Like we said before, if you don't it, click the back button at the top right corner of your screen NOW.

Calvin127: Hey! You stole my bit!

KrazyCullen13: And? What are you gonna do about?

Calvin127: Watch as I incorporate my powers of hypnosis on the readers. When release you from my spell, you will have enjoyed our story as much as humanly possible. When you come to, you will see a button on the bottom of the screen labeled 'Review this story'. You will feel the need to move the clicker-thingy on your computer screen to the Review button.

KrazyCullen13: Neither I, KrazyCullen13, nor my brother, Calvin127, own anything but this story.

Chapter 2: Kickass

(Bella's POV)

(Next Day)

I woke up to the sound of Emmett's laughter, and Edward's as well. I rolled off the bed, I put on a robe, and some bunny slippers that Alice bought me for Valentine's Day. I opened, the door, walked down the hallway, to the stairs, and looked over the railing.

"Uh-oh." Emmett said.

"I'm sorry, love. Did we wake you?" Edward asked.

"No, I was getting up anyways." I replied, coming down the stairs. I was halfway down the stairs, when I tripped, and went tumbling down. Luckily, Alice was there to catch me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"What the- how the- when the- why the...FUCK!" I yelled. I can deal with sadistic vampires trying to kill me, but my family too? What the FUCK did I do?"

"What was it, Emmett?" Edward asked. "Emmett, what the FUCK WAS IT?" Clearly, listening to the thoughts in Emmett's head.

"I-it-umm-it was the Wii controller." Emmett stuttered.

"Hon, let's get this clear." I told Emmett calmly. "Keep yo MOTHAFUCKIN SHIT OFF THE MOTHAFUCKIN FLOOR!"

"I'm sorry." Emmett said.

"DON'T... FUCK WITH ME, DAMMIT!" I screeched.

"I'm sorry!" He whimpered, running out the door at breakneck speed.

"Wow." Alice said. "Yeah, he's become really sensitive after we got back (New Moon)."

"Oh. I'm sorry." I said.

"Look who's saying 'I'm sorry' now, huh?" Alice teased.

"Shut up, Alice." I growled. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Nobody's home. Go away." Jasper called from the other room. "We no buy Girl Scout Cookies." We all laughed.

"It's me." An unfamiliar voice said. I had to think: who did that sound like? I finally recognized the voice: Jacob Black.

"No Girl Scout Cookies! Go away! We no like cookies!" Jasper shouted.

"Behave, guys. Best behavior, remember?"I said, glaring at Edward.

"I guess I'll try." Edward said off-handedly.

"Mmhmm." I said, rolling my eyes. Edward opened the door, and said the most childish thing:

"Hey look, doggie came home! Your bowl's in the corner." He petted him on the head, then wiped his hand on Jacob's shirt. "Might have fleas."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Jacob deadpanned. "I'm here for Bella." Then it hit me. I was wearing blood red pajama pants and a tank top. Pure silk, thanks to Rosalie. Also known to come from Victoria's Secret.

"Bella. Wow. You wore that for me? You dirty flirt." Jacob said with a smirk, but his view of me was blocked by Edward.

"You can come in, just no humping the girl." Edwards said with a glare.

"You wish she would wear that for you. That's for Edward." Emmett said. All I could do was giggle. None of them moved. They just stood still on the porch.

"Close the door. You're letting fleas in." Rosalie said, walking past Edward.

"Come outside." Jacob said.

"It's too hot outside. I'll burn up." I said.

"You can always take your clothes off." Jacob said hopefully.

"Dude, keep dreaming." Edward said. "If you're gonna have a pottymouth, get your ass off my fucking porch."

"Okay, I'll keep dreaming about yo mama naked in my bed if you want me to." Jacob sneered.

"Bitch, what the fuck you say about my mama?" Everyone excluding me said.

"Aww, is Snow White getting mad?" Jacob taunted.

"Bitch, please. I will roast yo ass like a Thanksgiving turkey. Don't get me started." I could tell that Edward has gotten ghetto over the years of hanging around me and my ghetto friends.

"Snowbell, you couldn't roast a marshmallow." Jacob taunted. The war has begun.

"Shut the fuck up before I mess up yo pretty boy swag." Edward said. Everyone laughed at that one.

"Don't be mad 'cause Bella like it." Jacob countered.

"If you don't get yo wannabe Soulja Boy lookin' ass off my goddamn porch, I'mma get the vacuum out on yo bitch ass." Edwards growled.

"Alright, that's enough." I shouted. Out of nowhere, my phone rang the Crank Dat Soulja Boy(Cue song in background). Everyone started doing the Soulja Boy.

"Now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu,

I'm bouncing on my toe
Watch me super soak that hoe
I'm gonna pass it to Arab
Then he's gonna pass it to don loc (loc)
Haters wanna be me
Soulja boy, I'm the man
They be looking at my neck
Saying it's the rubber band man (man)
Watch me do it (watch me do it)
Dance (dance)
Let get to it (let get to it)
Nope, you can't do it like me
Hoe, so don't do it like me
Folk, I see you tryna do it like me
Man that bitch is ugly" They all pointed at Jacob on the last line. Paul jumped in unexpectedly and said something that could have caused WWIII:

"Bitch, I don't know who you think you is, but take yo ass eatin' self somewhere." All I could see was Edward twitching, and I knew I had to get in there. Some flew past me; It was Jasper. He ran in front of Edward, and I had to ask what was wrong with him.

"His whole body shut down." Jasper said. Out of nowhere, Edward lurched past Jasper, and charged at Paul with a fist raised. He exploded, hammering his face with his fist repeatedly while yelling at him.

"Let me tell you something, BEE-YATCH." Edward yelled, pounding Paul's into the ground. "I am Edward Anthony MOTHAFUCKIN CULLEN! AND IMMA WHOOP YO ASS!" Before he could, I had to stop it. I grabbed him by the arm, and got in front of him.

"Calm down. Calm down. I'm here. It's okay." I said.

"THE HELL IT AIN'T OKAY! IMMA WHOOP HIS MOTHAFUCKIN ASS FOR THAT SHIT!" Edward shouted.

"Edward, just get upstairs." I said.

"IMMA WHOOP HIS ASS INTO HIS MOTHAFUCKIN THROAT-"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, get your crazy ass up those goddamn stairs right this second, you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am." Edward pouted, and zoomed upstairs.

"Meow. Fit-choo!" Jacob said. (Jacob is calling Edward whipped).

"THAT MOTHAFUCKIN-"

"EDWARD!" I shouted. "Do NOT make me come up there!"

"Go eat a dick, Jacob Black!" Edward yelled.

"Do I need to do to you what I did yesterday?" I called up the steps.

"Okay, I'm sorry, just don't give me a whooping, mommy!" Edward whined before going to his room and slamming the door.

"E-e-e-e-edward's k-k-kinda c-c-c-crazy." Jacob stammered. I don't think I wanna fight him anymore.

After everything settled down and everyone went home, when we were all in the house, I drank some water, calmed my self, and went upstairs to talk to Edward.

KrazyCullen13: Well, we hope you liked it. Please review.

Calvin127: Help! My sides are on FIRE! Get me water!

KrazyCullen13: Like I said, review.

Calvin127: See you next time!

KrazyCullen13: Deuces!