Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the Harry Potter series or its characters. I just borrow them for my own twisted fantasies.
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Severus sighed, enjoying the rush of air leaving his chest. He lay back on the blanket he had taken from Lucius' room. He wouldn't be happy when he woke up alone, but Severus found himself not caring. His head pounded, he absently tried to figure out what made him drink that much.
He took a deep breath. The lake gave off the best scent early in the morning, it smelled like life. The good parts of life, being calm and content. He smiled at nothing. Severus wished he could draw, or sculpt, or anything artsy, just to capture the lake. Being alone here, or with Lily when she found time for him, was the only thing he truly loved. It was entertaining, making new potions, or hexes, even using them on Black and Potter, but this serenity was wonderful.
Black and Potter. He never knew why they had hated him. Maybe because he had been very small and timid the first year. Maybe just because he was Slytherin. Whatever the reason, he was all too quick to hate them right back. Maybe he shouldn't have. Maybe they all could have been friends. The maybes went on forever, Severus knew the wondering did him no good. But the lakeshore lent itself to wondering about the past, and the future. Severus shuddered, the future was bleak. He was loosing Lily, and getting to caught up in the Dark Arts. The whole thing made him sick, but he couldn't stay away. He had to push himself, and normal everyday magic wouldn't allow for him to unlock his full potential.
It all just came back to Lucius Malfoy. Severus knew he shouldn't trust him, but the offer of friendship was too appealing. Loneliness was a great weakness of his. His mother, she had relived some it. So did his father, when he wasn't drunk. But after his mother had killed herself, the selfish bitch, Tobias was rarely sober.
The pounding in his head came back to Severus' attention. Never again. He'd never drink again. He was better than that.
"Snape! I knew I'd find you here!" Lucius called out, about a dozen yards away. The young man jogged up to Severus, smiling broadly. "Couldn't wait for me, now? Impatient." He sat down next to Severus on the coarse blanket. Severus blushed as their thighs brushed together.
"How's your head?" Lucius' gray eyes twinkled.
"It's… not great." Severus looked away, ashamed to mention his pain. He found a small bottle being pressed into his hand.
"Ah, this will help, I think. A mild sobering potion." Malfoy patted his back.
Severus uncorked the small blue glass bottle, the liquid inside was a metallic pink and smelled putrid. Snape closed his eyes, and push the bottle as far as it would go into his mouth, as to avoid tasting the potion. He recognized it vaguely, but had never looked into potions like this, he hadn't any need to.
He coughed as the potion trickled down his throat. "Thanks." He muttered, handing back the empty bottle.
"Of course, what are friends for?" Lucius patted him on the back. Severus watch Lucius take to the view out of the corner of his eye. A tranquil smile slowly spread across the older boy's face.
"You really have a beautiful spot here, Snape. Come here often?"
"Kinda. I used to come here quite a bit… with Lily." Severus whispered the last bit forlornly, every tiny bit of previous joy draining from his pale face.
"Hmm. She's a beautiful Muggleborn. How did you ever become friends with her?"
It was a simple question, but it brought so many emotions into Severus' mind. "She was playing, with her sister, awful girl, on the muggle playing ground. Do you know what those are?"
"Yeah, I've seen them before."
"Well, she was playing on the monkey bar set, the horizontal ladder, and she fell. But she didn't fall all the way, just hovered an inch or so above ground before touching down. That's when I knew she was a witch, like me. You see, I grew up in a poorer muggle neighborhood, Spinner's End. The people are decent enough for muggles, but they keep to themselves. While not violent, or thieving, they're miserable people, I never tried to make friends with any of those sad muggle children…. Until Lily. She may have had magic, but she was a muggle at heart. I suppose everyone is a victim of their surroundings. I just, well, watched her for awhile. Greeting people has never been… a skill of mine."
Malfoy snorted happily earning a scowl from Snape. "But eventually she saw me. I never really hid, but I tried to stay out of her way. I immediately explained to her what she was, for months she thought I was joking. But then, one day, I managed to make a flower grow twice its size in a few seconds." Severus smiled to himself.
"We spent all the time we could together. We came to Hogwarts together. We did our first weeks of homework together. But Lily, she started making new friends, I did not. I was still her favorite; I'd like to think I still am from time to time. We're growing apart." Severus' smile turned bitter.
"I see." Lucius sighed. "You could make friends too. The boys, and girls, in your house would love to meet you. You're start and not unpleasant to be around. You're going places, Snape."
"Am I?"
They sat in silence for a few moments. It was calm, but stiff. Had they been closer the quiet may have been comforting, but this was not so.
"Hey, Snape."
"What." Snape's voice was flat and quiet. Lucius considered whether or not he should bring up last night.
"Last night, when you were shit-faced," Snape winced, "you said, well, that you were attracted to… Black and Potter. And that Lupin kid."
Severus closed his eyes, wishing to be anywhere else. "….did I…" It was neither a question or statement. Lucius put and arm around Severus.
"Yeah, you did. Are you, y'know, funny?"
"Funny?"
"As in, homosexual?"
Snape chewed on his bottom lip. "I've never been sexually attracted to a girl. But, having no experience either way, I really don't know."
Lucius squeezed the younger boy. "Yeah you do. Who do you have wet dreams about? Who do you wank to?"
Sverus sighed. "Usually Lupin… dreams I mean. I don't… wank."
"Not ever?"
"No."
"Try it sometime."
Snape snorted. "Where?"
"In bed."
"With those other boys in there? I think not."
"C'mon. I'm sure they do, without you even noticing."
Severus choked on air. The idea of his roommates wanking while he was right there… it was odd. Very, very odd.
"I'm serious. And, maybe you should make a move on that kid."
Severus glared at Lucius. "Oh, I'm sure that would go bloody well! 'Hello there Remus, I know your friends want me dead and that you're probably straight, but I think we should hold hands and walk around the school, and maybe find a corner to snog in!' Yes, that would go well."
"You never know unless you try."
"But, but I wouldn't want to make a fool out of myself, on the extremely diminutive chance he'd be interested." Snape blushed. "I've never even been kissed."
And with that Lucius grabbed Snape's face, and pushed his lips roughly on the corner of his victims mouth. Snape tried weakly to pushed him off, only to have Lucius bite his bottom lip and shove his tongue quickly inside before pulling back.
"Problem solved. You've been kissed." Malfoy beamed. Snape looked at the ground, eyes moving back and forth rapidly as he digested what had just been done to him.
Lucius pulled him onto his feet. "I say we go get some brekkie before every other idiot gets to the Great Hall." With that Lucius was, and a very flustered moments later, Snape followed him.
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