Reality Is Insanity
Chapter Two
In Which Sakura Most Definitely Does Not Impress Sasuke
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A/N: Every single thing on Ino's list is something I've done to the same one person at school. Though I didn't actually like this guy- I behaved like a complete idiot whenever he was around. I didn't even have to know he was there to be behaving like that. Which brings me to the conclusion that maybe I always act like a complete idiot and these are just the times I've been caught by somebody who isn't a friend. Review? :)

This chapter's Key- -Ino -Sakura -Sasuke -Naruto

And when they're passing notes- Ino Sakura

- She said yes.

- You're kidding?

- How many years have you been following me around?

- We've been friends since we were 11.

- And during that time, have I ever struck you as the kind of person who 'kids'?

- She seriously said yes?

- Wait- you didn't threaten her, did you?

- Sasuke?

- SASUKE?

THIS HOMEWORK DIARY BELONGS TO: YAMANAKA COMMA INO
IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO: Your boyfriend. He'll get it to me.

SEPTEMBER 3RD

OMG Ino. I don't know what to do! I don't like Naruto. Well, I mean I like him sure, but not LIKE like him. Not in the same way I like Sasuke.

Sakura, have you given any consideration to the thought that this might just be a good thing?

In what universe could this ever be considered a good thing?

In the Universe where you've been pining after the same unattainable guy for five years and he is still so clueless that he asks you out… for his BEST FRIEND!

SEPTEMBER 4TH

You're right. You're totally right. I mean, it's not like I've done anything to impress Sasuke or anything.

Understatement of the millennium.

What do you mean?

Do you really want to get into this now?

Yes, I do. What are you talking about?

SEPTEMBER 5TH

Wait a second, let me just grab a sheet of paper from my file. We've used up a whole page of my homework diary. And it's still only September 2nd.

A LIST. TO HIGHLIGHT THE TOP TEN INSTANCES WHEN SAKURA HARUNO
HAS MOST DEFINITELY NOT IMPRESSED SASUKE UCHIHA

ONE- That time when you came out from the PE changing rooms and he was standing in the corridor just talking to Naruto and Kiba and you, instead of doing the normal person thing and saying "Excuse me.", BARGED THROUGH THE THRONG, elbowing Sasuke in the stomach and GROWLING LIKE A RABID DOG.

OH CRAP I REMEMBER THAT. He asked me on MSN (lol Ino… do you even remember when we used to use MSN) later that night why I growled at him and if there was something wrong with me mentally. I said to him, and I quote 'u iz well batty. nah i jst neeyyded 2 get fru n u gyz wernt mooovin LOLCOPTER'.

jc… this is even more hopeless than I thought.

TWO- That time on your birthday when we were all sitting on the field eating that sack of chocolate Tenten got you and Naruto called you over asking for some. You took over a box of Maltesers and offered them round to everyone, including Shino… And then when it got to Sasuke, you YANKED the box away from him and screamed "NO NOT YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOU!" and then, as if that weren't bad enough you then realised what you'd done and screamed "OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME! PLEASE TAKE ONE!". Threw the box at his face and ran away.

Oh my God.

It gets better.

THREE- Do you remember that year we got all that snow and we were strictly forbidden from throwing snowballs anywhere other than the Courts? You picked up a hunk of snow, packed it into an iceball and then hurled it at the back of Sasuke's head… from something like a metre behind him. I have NEVER heard anyone yell "OWW!" that loudly. And then when he turned around and when Sarutobi came running out of his office to see what had happened, you had your hand up and were just staring at it like it was possessed.

It probably WAS.

FOUR- That time he came up behind you and whispered "Stop dragging your feet when you walk." In your ear. So you, classy laydee that you are… turned around and PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE.

FIVE- Once when he was chasing Naruto full pelt down a corridor, you, while deep in conversation with me, stuck your foot out and tripped him.

It's like I don't even have to know he's there to be a complete tit…

I'll say.

SIX- When our two classes had PE at the same time and we were running down to the field and we took that shortcut through the park. You jumped in the stream and started using your hands as fake chin-tentacles or something yelling "LOOK GUYS! I'M A SQUID!" and then who should run round the corner but Mr Uchiha himself.

SEVEN- On the French Trip when you were trying to pass your iPod to Hinata and he reached out for it to help you pass it on and you pulled it back so quickly it slipped out of your hand and slammed into a window.

EIGHT- Again on the French Trip when you were beasting that Zombie Shoot Out Gun game at the Petrol Station and you ran out of money but when you put more in, it still wouldn't work so you started getting really panicky because you were about to get eaten and Sasuke, who was playing beside you, leaned over and you literally screeched "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" and what he did… was press the START BUTTON!

NINE- This one was one of my particular favourites because I witnessed it. Remember when you were messing about with my stockings pretending they were long pigtails, jigging around singing "I'm Pippi LONGSTOCKING. Get it? Because I have LONG STOCKINGS?" And then you turned around and Sasuke was there? Looking absolutely disgusted.

Really? You thought he was disgusted? I thought he was just trying to keep himself from smiling.

You're delusional.

TEN- We were sitting on the bench at the top of the Terraces, on which almost the entire school was sitting. You were talking to me and kicking your feet when suddenly, your shoe flew off and soared; over the heads of all the bratty new Year Sevens on the top Terrace and the heads of all the filthy Year Nine slags on the one below that. Oh. Your shoe flew much further- to the bottom Terrace and landed SMACK into the back of Sasuke Uchiha's head. Do you know what's hilarious though? (Other than the moment you realised you would have to go and ask for your shoe back from him). There is no way you could have aimed it. Your stupidity actually transcends tangible statistical probability and descends into subconscious cosmic sabotage…

"Miss Haruno, I would be most grateful if you would please stop repeatedly banging your head on your desk and get on with the work I've assigned."

Sakura looked up, dazed. "Huh what?"

"The Summary Questions on Enzyme Reactions- please get on with them."

- Hey Sakura.

- Ino… he's trying to start a conversation with me. WHAT DO I SAY?

- Be cool. Whatever you do, be cool. Don't spaz out and don't, whatever you do, talk about the fact that the reason you skipped our Year Eleven Prom was because you were having a Lord of the Rings Marathon Day with Lee and Tenten…

- HEY! We also watched the entire Season One of Avatar: The Last Airbender when we finished.

- You're such an effing geekbucket.

- Hey.

- So er, I don't really know how this goes.

- Yeah. Me neither.

- I mean literally I've NEVER had a girlfriend before.

- Yeah. Me neither.

- Had a boyfriend, I mean.

- LOL. I figured that's what you meant.

- I forgot to mention. FLIRT GIRL. FLIRRRRRRT. Make the most of the situation. You work for the School Paper. USE DEM WRITING SKILL GURRRLFWEND!

- That's only because I needed an Extra-Curricular that didn't require balls flying towards my face/ me running after a ball with some sort of malformed stick.

- There's so much I could say to that it's not even funny.

- You make me sick.

- Oh, I guess that means we're on the same wavelength then.

She thought for a second and then shuddered as she typed the next three letters and hit Send.

- LOL

- Hah. So, can you guess what I'm thinking about?

What he's thinking? Sakura rolled her eyes.

- Food?

- LOL you're funny. Nooooo. Strike One.

Stupid jock. Why did they always have to make things about sport? And we're not even American. Why is he using a Baseball Analogy anyway?

- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

- If you'd said that a couple of minutes ago, you would have been right. But nope. Strike Two.

- I hope you're flirting those filthy fingers off…

- Ino. He's driving me insane. But okay. I'll try.

- I really don't know. Me naked?

- Naruto just squealed like a girl and jumped out of his seat, a series of actions for which he is currently being reprimanded by Kakashi at the front of the class. As the idiot dropped his phone, when I reached over to pick it up I happened to see your last exchange with him.

- I'm not impressed.

"Miss Haruno, as you have once again returned to repeatedly banging your head on the desk, can I assume that you have completed all of the Summary Questions on Enzyme Reactions?"

A/N: Writing this is bringing back memories which are so hilarious I've literally been laughing the entire way through this. Hope you enjoyed it. Review? :)